ElectricBlanketFire
Member
In one of the examples a father unsuccessfully tries to wrestle a gun from a cop responding to the scene so he could shoot himself.
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Phoenix infant dies in hot car - second such death in city in 2 days (Read the OP)
- Thread starter Donos
- Start date
In one of the examples a father unsuccessfully tries to wrestle a gun from a cop responding to the scene so he could shoot himself.
bootsthecat
Banned
But a first-of-its-kind alarm system General Motors is rolling out in the 2017 GMC Acadia could help. The feature, which alerts the driver at the end of any trip if the rear door was previously opened, will soon be standard in other models.
Pretty simple solution, clever. Let's hope other automakers follow suit.
Actually, research shows that it is something that can happen to people. It isn't extreme carelessness (aside from the consequences), it's normal carelessness caused by autonomic behaviour. Your brain just turns off and you go about your day, especially if your routine has been disrupted in some way. People talk all the time about how their daily commute can fly by because you're on autopilot - the same mental process works here, with tragic results.
FaintDeftone
Junior Member
Stuff like this makes me feel sick to my stomach. As a father of a 2 year old, I just don't understand how you can do this on accident. I've never once went somewhere and forgot my kid was in the car. Even if I park to go inside to pick up a pizza that'll take me two minutes, I ALWAYS take my kid with me.
My parents left me at home strapped in my car seat by the door once when I was a kid. They said it took them 5-10mins before they realized I wasn't in the car and immediately hooked back around to get me.
As a parent now, I can totally understand how that could happen. You get in a routine and simply don't realize it. Hell, just think about if you have a daily commute. People claiming otherwise probably aren't parents and have no idea what they're spouting off about.
As a parent now, I can totally understand how that could happen. You get in a routine and simply don't realize it. Hell, just think about if you have a daily commute. People claiming otherwise probably aren't parents and have no idea what they're spouting off about.
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Read the article quoted multiple times. It can and does happen to people from all walks of life.
Gravy Boat
Member
It only takes one time for something to go wrong. Your mother got lucky, other parents did not. I don't see how you can defend one but not the other.
There's incentive...it's just negated by the liability aspect. No one wants to be responsible for a death like this should it fail. Safety features like this can train people to be complacent as well.
sixteen-bit
Member
That's gotta be an awful way to go.
AtomskEater
Member
Ah, I can see that, too. People should of course be checking the backseat as they leave even if such alarms don't go off (which may make the feature redundant, but assuming it's working properly it'd just be extra protection during times when people are most susceptible to forgetting). I can definitely see some people assume the safety feature is always correct, even if it bugs out or they disabled it for some reason and forgot to turn it back on.
Well that's good to know!
Heck, there are commercials for diapers IIRC that plays off this same thing. A lady meticulously packs her child's toys and necessities in a bag and then walks off, leaving the kid in a car seat in the house. In that case it's comical because no harm no foul.
This is really the root question that needs to be answered.
crisdecuba
Member
Every time an incident like this is reported and we get a thread about it, there are the knee-jerk reactions of vitriol and hatred and "lock them up!" and not understanding how this can happen to people.
*** Everyone in this thread needs to go read the articles that explain the causes and how it happens to people across all demographics. *** Pursue some understanding, people.
*** Everyone in this thread needs to go read the articles that explain the causes and how it happens to people across all demographics. *** Pursue some understanding, people.
andthebeatgoeson
Junior Member
No. There are actual scientific terms. Like inattentiional blindness and others that affect how you or someone perceives things. We are not machines. We make mistakes.
What's worrisome is that many have provided evidence and you ignore it. Why? It's a very thorough article that you can't even take the time to read because you can't sacrifice, this God-like ignorance.
If this happened to me I would probably kill myself. I'm crying right now just thinking about this accidentally happening with my baby. I have ADD and when I have breaks in routine my brain is a mess and I forget the simplest things. The only reason I think I haven't made a mistake like this is the fact I'm aware of the syndrome and when I do have the rare instances where I drop off the baby at day care the fear of doing this is always in me so I double and triple check my processes and I usually have panic attacks about where my baby is the rest of the day.
Edit: based on the threads comments I half expect someone to tell me to go kill myself now to prevent me from making this mistake since I recognize that this could happen to me. The lack of empathy and sympathy in here in incredible but unfortunately not surprising.
Tal Shiar Agent
Member
I can't help but feel that some of these parents are killing their kids on purpose. No parent is going to forget their kid is in the backseat.
How many kids you have?
Tal Shiar Agent
Member
Two.
Charles Brandon
Member
Easily done. Especially if you don't normally take the kid in the morning, As soon as you get into your commute the routine takes over. I've never done it but it's the sort of thing that I could easily have seen myself doing, when the kids were younger.
I feel like a huge number of threads of all subjects suffer from this. People read the OP (or just the title) and proceed to post the first thought/feeling that comes to mind, when legitimate conversation has already occurred and important information has already been posted. Then the same responses to those reactive replies have to be made again and again.
Skellig Gra
Member
I feel for the parents, what a nightmare to go through. You have to be hyper vigilant about this stuff. That's why I created a child reminder on Waze.
Yeah, that's just not true at all. Especially single parents. They have an incredible burden on them trying to do a million things at once.
Yeah, that's just not true at all. Especially single parents. They have an incredible burden on them trying to do a million things at once.
Ah, so it's the "I don't do that so it must not be true" defense then. Carry on.
VanMardigan
has calmed down a bit.
My dad forgot me at an airport one time. This stuff happens. My kids have fallen asleep in the car seat and I've almost done the same thing. They're just super still and quiet and if you have a lot of things in your mind you can just forget they are there. I can't imagine the pain and horror those parents just feel. I dint think I'd be able to carry on.
Shao Kahn on the Lawn
Member
Why would I do that when I can instead trumpet my own personal superiority, infallible perception, and unimpeachable memory?
ElectricKaibutsu
Member
I'm about to have a kid, and me or my wife forgetting them in a hot car is a big fear of mine. I'm not a forgetful person at all, but I've forgotten my phone once and my wallet another time. It just takes once to forget your sleeping child is in the backseat. That's scary as hell.
InsaneTiger
Member
Selfish, stupid, irresponsible people. They don't deserve the right to take of anyone or anything.
This isn't a phone, it's a FUCKIN CHILD!
This isn't a phone, it's a FUCKIN CHILD!
eso76
Member
but then if you're experiencing a lapse of memory why would you remember to check ?
I don't know, it's just scary.
There's a difference between those who intentionally leave them in the car "for a few minutes" and then forget, and those who thought they had dropped them at daycare but didn't.
Daughter is 5 now and i would never leave her alone in the car, not even for 10 seconds , but I remember when she was very small and i used to drive her to daycare each day I would occasionally freak out for a millisecond wondering if i did drop her or if i left home without her.
It couldn't happen because I would constantly talk to her or interact with her the entire trip and always keep an eye on her on the rvm but you know, sometimes in your daily routine you don't put much thought in what you do.
Like, right now i have no idea where my car is parked
I don't remember parking it, i just did while on autopilot.
Charles Brandon
Member
such insight.
To be fair, the posted article points to situations where a child was left in the car by a knowing parent and that's exactly what SG-17 said.
Tal Shiar Agent
Member
I guess I just don't understand how people can fall so deeply into a routine.
Skellig Gra
Member
A lot of parents are sleep deprived and incredibly stressed out. This leads to forgetfulness and poor decision making. Irresponsible maybe but not selfish.
Yeah maybe it's because I live in Arizona, or maybe it's because I always have to double check everything that's just who I am, I always check the baby seat before I get out of the car. Every parent should make it a habit of doing this even if they know there isn't a kid in there.
ElectricKaibutsu
Member
That's a really good idea.
Kaiser Swayze
Member
Something like this happened not too long ago around Atlanta. Turned out sometime later out the guy actually did it on purpose.
Yes, but they also said "No parent is going to forget their kid is in the backseat" which the article refutes.
Charles Brandon
Member
Let me paint you a picture.
Every day you drive to work, same route, same time, every every day. You get in the car and you start to think about the day ahead, who you are meeting, what deadlines you have etc etc.
One day, your wife can't take the kid to day care for whatever reason. No problem you say, I'll take her, i'll be a bit late but my boss won't mind. You get in the car, put the baby in the back seat (she's fast asleep) get ready to drive to the day care centre and then you get a phone call from your boss, the meeting has been brought forward and the other side have asked for some figures, can you sort that out this morning first thing? Sure you say, no problem. And then you set off, you're thinking about work and the task you have been set. The baby is out of your mind, you're also tired. Off you go and the route is so familiar that you seem to arrive at work without having consciously thought about driving, your head is full of figures and plans but isn't there something you're forgetting? You've got your briefcase, you've got your phone and wallet...just then you see Dave from accounts pull up, you need some figures from Dave so you jump out and walk in with him, discussing the numbers as you go...isn't it hot today, thank god for AC.
I have two kids, now 6 and 8 so Im thankfully past the time of being able to forget them, or even if I somehow did, they would just get out of the car and be like "Dad, what the heck, we were still in the car".
I never forgot they were there, never left them in the car once alone, but one time I was supposed to drop them off at daycare when they were both really young, and I ended up driving about 5 minutes the wrong way (to go to work) with them in the car, before it hit me that I was taking them to work with me (turned around, dropped them off).
Im pretty sure (like 100% certain) I'd have noticed them though, and really don't understand how people forget their kids are in the car, I assume its mostly a 1 day change in routine that throws them off, but still...
SO, future parents of GAF, just put your water bottle / lunch bag / wallet / phone, something you need to take with you, in the back seat, so you HAVE to turn around and grab it.
I never forgot they were there, never left them in the car once alone, but one time I was supposed to drop them off at daycare when they were both really young, and I ended up driving about 5 minutes the wrong way (to go to work) with them in the car, before it hit me that I was taking them to work with me (turned around, dropped them off).
Im pretty sure (like 100% certain) I'd have noticed them though, and really don't understand how people forget their kids are in the car, I assume its mostly a 1 day change in routine that throws them off, but still...
SO, future parents of GAF, just put your water bottle / lunch bag / wallet / phone, something you need to take with you, in the back seat, so you HAVE to turn around and grab it.
No I read it. It's still dumb as hell how someone can forget their kids in the car. My mother is probably the busiest person I know, juggling her job, grocery shopping, cooking and two kids everyday. She has forgotten her purse or phone every now and then but never once forgot about her kids.
Guess what? It could happen to you. No matter how much you deny you could ever make that mistake, it still could happen. Some of you are not reading the important posts in this thread.
You are literally ignoring the reality of how the brain works.
Shao Kahn on the Lawn
Member
What's dumb is how goddamned obtuse you're being about the fallibility of every human brain on the planet.
crisdecuba
Member
If you read this, then how can you possibly say it's a matter of intelligence? Why do you simply refuse to acknowledge your reaction is incorrect?
It is great that it never happened to you (though you may want to ask sometime, even if you weren't left in a car thankfully, there could have been moments you never realized, even something like forgetting to be picked up from school or practice one day) and it's of course the case for a lot of people. That doesn't change the fact that it has happened. And that some of those cases were just accidents. And that some of those cases they happened to good, smart, caring and hard working parents who now have to live with the worst horror and guilt imaginable.