Support NeoGAF

[SJurgenson]

Is it only sexual harassment if the girl declines to send nudes? Because I mean he doesn't know if they'll say yes or no.

It's harassment either way. There was no flirting or non-platonic interaction between the two at all until the 'SEND NUDES' moment.

And to be clear, it can be harassment even if nudes are sent. The person could feel pressured to produce them, woried the requestor could ruin their reputation/career if the demands are not met. Producing the nudes does not nullify or excuse the harassment.

From my POV, the nature of the harassment is the brash, assumptive boundry jumping from platonic conversation to requesting intimate photos. You don't need to consider the response to classify it.

Is someone morally exculpated of attempted murder because the shadowy figure he shot in the alley was a sack of potatoes and not his ex-wife, as he had thought when he pulled the trigger?

You don't even need to consider things like the leveraging of power dynamics between professionals/media personalities/fans/ages/etc to declare it harassment and terrible - those just add on on make the behavior even worse.

 

[BrightLightLava]

Kind of felt like he weaseled his way in by being an intern for GB, getting some connections, and then slowly hopping up to what his current position is.

Nick did some gross shitty things, but, and I don't know how old you are Skrams, this is just how careers work.

 

[danthefan]

Nick did some gross shitty things, but, and I don't know how old you are Skrams, this is just how careers work.

I mean, yeah, exactly. Guy seems fairly unpleasant but let's stick to the bad shit he's actually done.

 

[Truant]

Yeah, my whole career is built on connections and "hopping up". I have no education and I'm totally at the mercy of my professional relationships. If that's a crime, then I guess I'm guilty.

 

[Rune Corp]

I have no idea who this dude is, but it sucks that someone in the Giant Bomb family has behaved like this. He can't undo what he did, but I hope he manages sincerely to apologize to all involved, and get whatever help he needs to become a better person.

I know you're supposed to hope for criminals to be rehabilitated (unless you support the death penalty), but this guy is a repeat offender who went after underage and barely legal women and scared them into never speaking up for themselves. I hope someone buries him in a dark cell and melts down the key.

 

[Cipherr]

It was once a foregone conclusion that one couldn't keep up with everything that happened on the internet. Now the kids born in the late 90's have grown up, and its apparently expected that everyone keep up with every single trend and meme created on any platform of note (of which there are many); and if you don't then you are apparently 'extremely sheltered'.

 

[Skrams]

Nick did some gross shitty things, but, and I don't know how old you are Skrams, this is just how careers work.

I could of worded that better since yeah, it's pretty much synonymous with anyone trying to climb the job ladder. I guess I didn't feel like he earned much of any of it so to say. I know the game industry is already super loose with this since a lot of people just hop from job to job and stay on board through connections, meeting someone at E3, or whatever. There just wasn't much there I could look at for him and respect him for so to say? Always seemed like an easy slot that could be filled by any other young kid who likes video games.

If I'm being too broad here or I sound ignorant then I apologize.

Hell, it could be jealousy talking, but I never felt that way for people like Ben, Kessler, or anyone else I've known from a small level. They always just came off with a more human, down to earth element to me than Nick I guess.

edit- And Truant, having no education or whatever is fine. I expect people with no education to still work hard to have gotten where they are even if it involved sucking up to a boss or three. I just never got the feeling with Nick, but I'm talking a bit from my ass here.

 

[Paz]

Say what you will about Polygon, but I'd be surprised if they tolerate this. They're too left-leaning.

I just got very sad because harassing women is a left vs right wing political issue.

 

[Jangowuzhere]

I could of worded that better since yeah, it's pretty much synonymous with anyone trying to climb the job ladder. I guess I didn't feel like he earned much of any of it so to say. I know the game industry is already super loose with this since a lot of people just hop from job to job and stay on board through connections, meeting someone at E3, or whatever. There just wasn't much there I could look at for him and respect him for so to say? Always seemed like an easy slot that could be filled by any other young kid who likes video games.

If I'm being too broad here or I sound ignorant then I apologize.

Hell, it could be jealousy talking, but I never felt that way for people like Ben, Kessler, or anyone else I've known from a small level. They always just came off with a more human, down to earth element to me than Nick I guess.

edit- And Truant, having no education or whatever is fine. I expect people with no education to still work hard to have gotten where they are even if it involved sucking up to a boss or three. I just never got the feeling with Nick, but I'm talking a bit from my ass here.

The film industry is exactly the same as well.

You build connections with people and stick close to those people. They are essentially your ticket to getting a job. They teach people this in college. Heck one of the graduation requirements for the college I'm attending is basically getting an internship.

You don't have to like it ( I find it a little lame to some degree), but that's how the world works. It's hard to criticize Nick for something like that.

 

[faulty_fork]

I know you're supposed to hope for criminals to be rehabilitated (unless you support the death penalty), but this guy is a repeat offender who went after underage and barely legal women and scared them into never speaking up for themselves. I hope someone buries him in a dark cell and melts down the key.

Haha has there actually been anything shown were he has threatened or tried to use leverage to get nudes or buy their silence? What's been posted seem pretty tame and more a case of him being an awkwardly horny guy that treats his twitter as his tinder profile.

 

[Budi]

All these "it's just a meme" posts remind me of Television chat programs. I don't know how common these were in other parts of the world, but tv-programs where people could send textmessages to be shown in TV and read by the host were really popular here in the early 2000's. And ofcourse when the host was a woman there would be huge amount of messages like "show your tits" and other sexual ones with the worst ones usually not reaching the air. "Host, show your tits" became a meme that was used outside these tv-programs as a joke just like "Host, how much is the delay?". But that doesn't suddenly make the request of exposing someone's breasts just a joke. "Send nudes" may be used as a meme, but it's in no way an excuse to say that to people and that the request wouldn't be genuine in context. Especially so in private messages.

 

[Fliesen]

I know you're supposed to hope for criminals to be rehabilitated (unless you support the death penalty), but this guy is a repeat offender who went after underage and barely legal women and scared them into never speaking up for themselves. I hope someone buries him in a dark cell and melts down the key.

Source?
I'm thinking you're putting way too much emphasis on the age angle, almost painting him like a pedophiliac predator that "needs to get locked away".
This is about (everyday, """harmless""", """flirty""") harassment. Something that is still far too widespread and downplayed.

 

[Aselith]

All these "it's just a meme" posts remind me of Television chat programs. I don't know how common these were in other parts of the world, but tv-programs where people could send textmessages to be shown in TV and read by the host were really popular here. And ofcourse when the host was a woman there would be huge amount of messages like "show your tits" and other sexual ones with the worst ones usually not reaching the air. "Host, show your tits" became a meme that was used outside these tv-programs as a joke just like "Host, how much is the delay?". But that doesn't suddenly make the request of exposing someone's breasts just a joke. "Send nudes" may be used as a meme, but it's in no way an excuse to say that to people and that the request wouldn't be genuine in context. Especially so in private messages.

Nelly said it best:

"I'm just kiddin like Jason
Unless you gon' do it"

 

[danthefan]

Yeah, my whole career is built on connections and "hopping up". I have no education and I'm totally at the mercy of my professional relationships. If that's a crime, then I guess I'm guilty.

You monster.

 

[Spiritual_Chaos]

nvm

 

[jacobeid]

I just got very sad because harassing women is a left vs right wing political issue.

Well, look who the right elected as President. Sexual harassment is clearly not an issue for Republicans.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Did you actually think this question through?

Yes. It's like Schrödinger's Cat, you can't know if they'll send the nudes until you ask. They might be up for that kind of thing.

 

[purseowner]

Is it only sexual harassment if the girl declines to send nudes? Because I mean he doesn't know if they'll say yes or no.

Please tell me this isn't a serious post.

 

[BBboy20]

This is black & white. Why is this still a debate?

 

[jacobeid]

Yes. It's like Schrödinger's Cat, you can't know if they'll send the nudes until you ask. They might be up for that kind of thing.

HOLY SHIT.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Abandon thread. Abandon life. I'm out.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Haha has there actually been anything shown were he has threatened or tried to use leverage to get nudes or buy their silence? What's been posted seem pretty tame and more a case of him being an awkwardly horny guy that treats his twitter as his tinder profile.

He was preemptively telling the victims to keep silent.

 

[Darkstorne]

It was once a foregone conclusion that one couldn't keep up with everything that happened on the internet. Now the kids born in the late 90's have grown up, and its apparently expected that everyone keep up with every single trend and meme created on any platform of note (of which there are many); and if you don't then you are apparently 'extremely sheltered'.

Yep, even millenials are starting to get old! I turned 30 this year and really started noticing how out of touch I am. Never heard of "thirsty" before this thread, but even popular culture confused the hell out of me this year. "On fleek"? What the hell does that mean? And why is everyone talking about "dabbing"? Though I also buy cereal based on fibre content these days and consider 11pm a late night, so I'm not sure why I'm surprised =P

Kudos to all the folks in this thread taking the time to translate these text messages!

Is it only sexual harassment if the girl declines to send nudes? Because I mean he doesn't know if they'll say yes or no.

It's like Schrödinger's Cat, you can't know if they'll send the nudes until you ask. They might be up for that kind of thing.

Either you're serious, and need a reality check. Or you're joking, in which case you're making jokes about sexual harassment and need a reality check. Grow up.

 

[Aselith]

One person always asks for nudes, the other never asks for nudes. What do you do?

 

[Maximo]

One person always asks for nudes, the other never asks for nudes. What do you do?

Claim people are out of touch.

 

[OfTheOverflow]

How have I never even heard of this guy? I follow games, and GAF, almost religiously and this guy with tens of thousands of followers has never been on my radar at all. Am I too young or too old to have missed this asshat?

 

[TurtleSnatcher]

He was preemptively telling the victims to keep silent.

Is there a link to this tweet? @soulspear is some guy on Twitter.


EDIT: Oh it's a locked account now and with a new Twitter username? Weird that the current '@soulspear' appears in search results leading up to weeks ago.

 

[purseowner]

Is there a link to this tweet? @soulspear is some guy on Twitter.

Locked account.

 

[Famassu]

One person always asks for nudes, the other never asks for nudes. What do you do?

If someone asks for nudes, send them if you are comfortable sending nudes of yourself to someone. If someone doesn't ask nudes pics, don't assume they want to see your dick (or boobs) and don't send nudes.

Not that hard.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Yes. It's like Schrödinger's Cat, you can't know if they'll send the nudes until you ask. They might be up for that kind of thing.

Schrödinger's Nudes. Now I have heard it all.

No, it is not like that. Random people are not up for that kind of thing.

Do you also go around asking random women on the streets to show their breasts? Because hey, one might be up for it, right?

Is there a link to this tweet? @soulspear is some guy on Twitter.


EDIT: Oh it's a locked account now and with a new Twitter username? Weird that the current '@soulspear' appears in search results leading up to weeks ago.

The 'l' is actually a upper case 'i' in her username: souispear

 

[Bastables]

Yes. It's like Schrödinger's Cat, you can't know if they'll send the nudes until you ask. They might be up for that kind of thing.

Yeah harrasments is exactly like murdering cats...
To paraphrase/misquote Louis ck: do you also rape girls on the off chance they may be into it?

 

[Confused Cheeseburger]

He was preemptively telling the victims to keep silent.

As if we needed anymore proof.

This guy is scum.

 

[Phenomenal Flea]

Is it only sexual harassment if the girl declines to send nudes?

Is it only racist if nobody laughs?

 

[Fliesen]

Yes. It's like Schrödinger's Cat, you can't know if they'll send the nudes until you ask. They might be up for that kind of thing.

But that's the thing. Asking for nudes, not knowing whether or not they're "up for that kind of thing" is harassment.

Also, having an innocent conversation with a person about clothing, and then, from one moment to another, switching the tone of the conversation into something sexual - is harassment.
The person didn't sign up to be sexualized and objectified when they entered the conversation. We're talking a Twitter DM convo, not a Tinder or even OKcupid chat, we're you're at least somewhat know what you're getting into.

"worth a try" is not an excuse for harassment.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Yeah harrasments is exactly like murdering cats...
To paraphrase Louis ck: do you also rape girls on the off chance they may be into it?

Asking a question isn't the same as raping a woman...

 

[Famassu]

Is it only sexual harassment if the girl declines to send nudes? Because I mean he doesn't know if they'll say yes or no.

You should always assume that asking anyone for nude pics will be considered sexual harassment.

Unless it's a partner of yours and you two have discussed about sending naughty pics to each other.

But strangers or co-workers? No, you do not ever ask them for nude pics. EVER. Even if you thing you have chemistry and there's some flirting going on, you do not ask anyone for nude pics. Or send them nude pics of yourself. Never ever never ever never ever never.

 

[Bastables]

Asking a question isn't the same as raping a woman...

Is send nudes a question?
...... fuck man
At best it's a shitstick request, think really hard about this.
"Get your tits out" is not a question.

 

[Famassu]

Asking a question isn't the same as raping a woman...

As far as "Is this sexual harassment or not", it is exactly as black & white as rape. Asking for a co-worker for nude pics is always sexual harassment.

 

[Fliesen]

Asking a question isn't the same as raping a woman...

"Send nudes" isn't a question - not even in the grammatical sense.

And would you consider it to be fine if you were to ask a girl you barely know "how would you like to suck my dick?" out of the blue. - when you're having a conversation about your favourite Pokemon. Because - who knows - she might just be a kinky one.
I mean - it's just a question after all.

The collateral damage of "might as well try" is a huge share of women being made uncomfortable and feeling objectified because they didn't expect, nor want, nor ask to be part of a sexual conversation.

 

[Dynasty]

Yes. It's like Schrödinger's Cat, you can't know if they'll send the nudes until you ask. They might be up for that kind of thing.

Lol. Well then ask. Dont assume someone is up for nudes and do not just send it out of nowhere because if they arent up for it, they will probably vue it as sexual harrassment(rightfully so) even if that wasnt your attention. Better safe than sorry.
Same for asking, unless you are close and already in a relationship you shouldnt be asking especially when you are in a posistion of power(as was in this case)

 

[RumbleHumble]

If you're telling a person completely unprompted to send nudes and you're in a position of power over them, it's sexual harassment. There's been a great deal of excellent posts already explaining the context here. Go look them up, people.

 

[QisTopTier]

Asking a question isn't the same as raping a woman...

http://www.un.org/womenwatch/osagi/pdf/whatissh.pdf

Harassment isn't assault, harassment is still bad

 

[jacobeid]

Asking a question isn't the same as raping a woman...

You need to stop.

Like what the fuck is wrong with you man.

And this is how rape culture continues to thrive.

Yeah, it's fucking appalling to read stuff like PumpkinPie is posting.

 

[Confused Cheeseburger]

Is it only sexual harassment if the girl declines to send nudes? Because I mean he doesn't know if they'll say yes or no.

And this is how rape culture continues to thrive.

 

[ultratruman]

When you're a star they let you do it

 

[RumbleHumble]

When you're a star they let you do it

Just in case someone mistakes you for defending Nick, this is a direct quote from Donald Trump's "Grab them by the pussy" video.

 

[Tecnniqe]

A mess

 

[Stealthcobra]

Just in case someone mistakes you for defending Nick, this is a direct quote from Donald Trump's "Grab them by the pussy" video.

Millions heard that and still voted for him anyway.. So a lot of Americans could give 2 shits about sexual harassment. Which is quite disturbing

 

[the_darkness]

I know you're supposed to hope for criminals to be rehabilitated (unless you support the death penalty), but this guy is a repeat offender who went after underage and barely legal women and scared them into never speaking up for themselves. I hope someone buries him in a dark cell and melts down the key.

The guy is an asshole but he's 26. He can learn.

 

[Spiritual_Chaos]

The fact that a woman can't talk with a guy about a t-shirt without being prepared for her being looked on as nothing more than a "sexual object" and feeling harassed is sad.

Wrecking his life in the public court of the internet, before/instead of talking with his employer if its connected to his profession and/or file a report if it's criminal doesn't lie super-right with me though.

Dangerous path to walk down. Am I all wrong here?

 

[ClosingADoor]

The fact that a woman can't talk with a guy about a t-shirt without being prepared for her being looked on as nothing more than a "sexual object" and feeling harassed is sad.

Wrecking his life in the public court of the internet, before/instead of talking with his employer if its connected to his profession and/or file a report if it's criminal doesn't lie super-right with me though.

Dangerous path to walk down. Am I all wrong here?

Kind of comes with having a public job really. He makes a living around putting himself out there online. So if he then does bad things there, well, that is also going to spread through those same channels.