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Familial Racism (and other prejudices) and Goddamn Excuses

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M

Mailbox

Member
So, my family is racist.
Its far too common that I hear "Fucking hindus" or "Chinese can't drive" or some other stupid STUPID thing that comes out of their mouths.

I've talked to them a couple of times saying "this is not ok" and "you guys should stop doing that" and other things but they always have stupid excuses.

Either they "are not racist and just telling it like it is" or " just stating their opinion" or "i'm just stressed and tired" or some other BULLSHIT!

Hell, my dad is even worse since he's pretty much an misanthrope. (he also has a liquor problem).

if i speak out about it i either "have an attitude problem" or get an earful from my homophobic racist brother about how "you shouldn't judge them and only keep yourself in check" and if i ever EVER actually win the argument they always retort with "WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET A JOB" as if that has anything to do with the situation (I swear to god that is their go to when they lose fights with me. Fucking pisses me off)


GOD. How do you deal with such people GAF? I would love to leave and move far far away but that's really an option right now.

Annoys me to no end.

honestly I'm just making this thread because I just got chewed out by my brother for being visibly angry at my dad for making an angry remark at "hindus" while waiting for a taxi. We have company right now. God I really do hate my brother sometimes (the other times i just dislike him)

Edit: THE ABSOLUTE WORST is when they say "When you get out and actually experience the world, you will understand that we are right in saying what we say" Which is the HIGHEST level of Bullshit!
 
G

gutter_trash

Banned
the older my dad gets, the worse he becomes. Retirement must have made him bored and insane

I can't even take him out to a restaurant LOL,

he used to be okay pre-retirment, like normal but ever since he retired and just watches TV (the news), he's gone off the hook
 
Dice//

Dice//

Banned
My old man is like that. Old, eastern european, and to compound onto that, a retired cop. He's pretty hateful to everyone and I just tune it out and have very loud circus music play in my head.
 
T

TacticalFox88

Banned
Racists trying to redefine racism in the modern day is a tragic example of how systemic prejudices get swept under the rug and ignored by the white moderate.
 
M

Mailbox

Member
Paskil said:
You should get a job, OP.
Click to expand...

point taken. I actually had a job as a fry cook at A&W for a few months then I quit back in November because... well lets just say things happened. since the semester is winding down and my next semester is looking like it will be pretty lax, I'll be looking for work presently.
 
8

8 X 11 Printer Paper

Member
The only ones in my extended family that I know are racist is my father's mom and possibly my mother's dad. My grandmother uses Shvatsa (Yiddish alt for the N word) when ever describing someone black, and even though she is a democrat she didn't vote for Obama just because he's black...My grandfather definitely has a general dislike towards African Americans. But I can't say with what I know if it is from racism or due to the fact the my Mom was being constantly beat up by her black classmates (the demographic of the school flipped in two years from 95% white, 4% black to 95% black, 4% white due to desegregation busing) during throughout the 4th grade.
 
L

LouisaFerre

Member
I never really saw the point in going out of my way to try and tell other people what to believe when they clearly aren't capable or aren't willing to listen. If my reasoning just won't get through to them, winning the argument has no appeal beyond a simple ego boost.

You're just wasting your time.
 
S

Subtle

Member
8 X 11 Printer Paper said:
The only ones in my extended family that I know are racist is my father's mom and possibly my mother's dad. My grandmother uses Shvatsa (Yiddish alt for the N word) when ever describing someone black, and even though she is a democrat she didn't vote for Obama just because he's black...My grandfather definitely has a general dislike towards African Americans. But I can't say with what I know if it is from racism or due to the fact the my Mom was being constantly beat up by her black classmates (the demographic of the school flipped in two years from 95% white, 4% black to 95% black, 4% white due to desegregation busing) during throughout the 4th grade.
Click to expand...

Uh, it's racism either way.
 
Hale-XF11

Hale-XF11

Member
My parents are racist, angry, hateful, spiteful bigots. The only way I could deal with it was moving out and cutting off contact with them. They are who they are. I can't change them. Trying to do so is a futile effort at best. It doesn't really matter though. Life is too damn short. I've been much better off all these years for not having to dwell in that kind of environment any longer.
 
I

Iksenpets

Banned
My immediate family is fine, but my extended family are nutbags. Fortunately I only have to see them once or twice a year. I'm not sure what I would do if it were my actual parents being like that.
 
E

enzo_gt

tagged by Blackace
Yeah when people are pretty much indoctrinated by religion or other dogmas, sometimes the spell is hard to break with family. I know it has been in my case.

It's tough because I feel upset at it's very existence but at the same time these family members (in my case) didn't have the experiences of education available otherwise when they had these beliefs instilled into them, and that doesn't have to just be racism but that things in the world are rigid and do not change, from person to person or over time. Sometimes they frankly just don't know better and take it personally because they (ironically) sit on a higher pedestal of knowledge or something. Pretty difficult to reconcile, especially if you are multicultural. I don't give up trying but I know it's not worth trying anymore.
 
S

Saucycarpdog

Member
I think I have stated this before but my parents are also a little adverse to minorities. I remember at a Christmas dinner with half my relatives there and my aunt mentioned that some blacks had moved in next to her and my uncle said "probably need to buy a gun now" which everyone giggled at (except me and my cousin of course). My mother one time said that blacks could be a lot better off if they would just try to not be so angry all the time. (What's weird is that my mom is incredibly progressive when it comes to feminism and gays but, #dietracism I guess?)
 
R

Rembrandt

Banned
8 X 11 Printer Paper said:
The only ones in my extended family that I know are racist is my father's mom and possibly my mother's dad. My grandmother uses Shvatsa (Yiddish alt for the N word) when ever describing someone black, and even though she is a democrat she didn't vote for Obama just because he's black...My grandfather definitely has a general dislike towards African Americans. But I can't say with what I know if it is from racism or due to the fact the my Mom was being constantly beat up by her black classmates (the demographic of the school flipped in two years from 95% white, 4% black to 95% black, 4% white due to desegregation busing) during throughout the 4th grade.
Click to expand...

that's racism. all of my fights have been with white guys, but I don't dislike all white people.
 
M

Mailbox

Member
Zukuu said:
There is a difference between generalization and racism.
Click to expand...

yeah... when they start talking about "brown" people, "hindus" (when refering to people of indian decent) and other such and almost always follow it up with something terrible and terribly assumptive,, yeah.... that's racism.
 
A

Arrogant Bastard

Banned
It's beyond shitty, I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it's 'ok'...cause it isn't. All you can do is try to continually let them know that it is offensive/wrong. Hopefully they will eventually come around, my mother has ( a bit).
 
I

Infinite

Member
I feel you OP I feel you deeply. I don't know how to deal I mainly just accept that they are fucked up that way and don't talk to them about it. Not trying to teach grown folk how to love others and accept their differences. Not my job and they too set in their ways for me to want to try.
 
T

Thequietone

Member
I have cut all ties with my racist blood relatives. Relatives by marriage on the other hand....It is kind of hard to cut off my wife's racist relatives since she was raised to be more family oriented than I was, and she has this constant need to see them hardwired into her brain.

Christmas was unbearable last year. Worst part was when they asked me to join in the "conversation of how non-whites are trying to be our superiors and not equals." Because, apparently we are already equals and all of these riots and protests are just non-whites trying to grab more power than whites. I just walked away because I knew saying anything would just cause problems. These kind of people have this shit hardwired into their brain and can't be changed.
 
M

Mailbox

Member
Yeah... i guess I'm just gonna have to do what I always thought I had to.
Gather enough money and get out.
It'll probably take a few years, but hey, it's something.
 
D

dreamcastmaster

Banned
Mailbox said:
point taken. I actually had a job as a fry cook at A&W for a few months then I quit back in November because... well lets just say things happened. since the semester is winding down and my next semester is looking like it will be pretty lax, I'll be looking for work presently.
Click to expand...

I'm going to be a generic adult here and say you probably would not have quit that job without immediately or already had found a new job if you have rent to pay. You don't like your parents racism, fine. Move out.
 
C

Cipherr

Member
You gonna finish school, get a good job and move away and start your own family. Thats how the rest of us deal with it.
KuGsj.gif


I'm african american and my parents have some strong racist issues too. Shit is unbelievable that I came out of that without being drenched in it the way they are. They are also deeply religious, so thats super ironic and another issue we butt heads on.

But I don't and haven't lived under their roof since I went off for school, so.. It gets easier when you don't have to be around it anymore.
 
M

Mesousa

Banned
All you have to do is to keep pushing against them on it. My mom is a terrible bigot, but even after a while I have got her to light a candle on the Kinara for Kwanzaa. She still holds bigoted views on dark skin people, but it is a step in the right direction.
 
T

TCRS

Banned
Liu Kang Baking A Pie said:
"Chinese can't drive" is lazy racism.
Click to expand...

eh, racism implies malice, saying "chinese can't drive" can also just be banter. no one is seriously going to be hurt when they're told they can't drive. most will be like:

PNZ57lT.gif


though in the case of OPs father, given his obvious racism it's probably racism.
 
T

TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared

Member
My mum and her side of the family regularly refer to a chinese take away as a chinkie, tell me that eastern europeans and 'nigger bastards' are responsible for the world being in the state in its, and that gays should be sterilised cos 'thats just not right'
 
A

airmangataosenai

Member
mmazurkiewicz said:
isn't racism hating someone because of their race?

if so, how is saying that chinese can't drive racism?
Click to expand...

Racism is the belief that one race is superior to another. In this case, a white person saying Asians can't drive would imply that whites as a whole are superior drivers which indeed would be racist. Of course Chinese is an ethnicity but we don't have a convenient label for that so racism is still the label used.

The official definition, for those still confused.

the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.
"theories of racism"

prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one's own race is superior.
"a programme to combat racism"
synonyms: racial discrimination, racialism, racial prejudice/bigotry, xenophobia, chauvinism, bigotry, bias, intolerance; More
Click to expand...
 
B

BBboy20

Member
airmangataosenai said:
Racism is the belief that one race is superior to another. In this case, a white person saying Asians can't drive would imply that whites as a whole are superior drivers which indeed would be racist. Of course Chinese is an ethnicity but we don't have a convenient label for that so racism is still the label used.

The official definition, for those still confused.
Click to expand...
So until an actual legit term is made up, we're stuck with this then.
 
M

maquiladora

Member
Cut them off. People shouldn't get a free pass for being shitty just because you happened to be born into circumstances which led to you being related to them.
 
J

John Kowalski

Banned
TCRS said:
eh, racism implies malice, saying "chinese can't drive" can also just be banter. no one is seriously going to be hurt when they're told they can't drive. most will be like:

PNZ57lT.gif


though in the case of OPs father, given his obvious racism it's probably racism.
Click to expand...

racism is the hierarchization of races and saying that chinese can't drive is putting then hierarchically bellow other races in matters of driving

quod erat demonstrandum
 
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