Carnby
Member
I was telling a friend about a former coworker, and he found the stories very amusing. It made me realize just how strange this person is. Have you ever known someone who was so strange or ridiculous you thought they should or could be a fictional character?
Story 1
This person (let's call him Andy) I used to work with once brought boxes of red pens into the office. A few days later everyone was using them. Someone asked "where did these pens come from?" Andy responds "I went dumpster diving this weekend with my father. We found boxes of them in Staples' dumpster. Great find! Amirite?" We all threw our pens out.
Story 2
Andy is walking around the office with a GIANT glass of whole milk. It's huge. I swear it was a half a gallon. I said "wow Andy, that's a big glass of milk... Where do you find a glass that big". Andy responds "I found it"
"where?"
"I found it in another room. It was sitting by the window for weeks. No one claimed it so I took it"
This is when another coworker said "That 'cup' looks exactly like a vase I own..." The next day the coworker brought the vase in and sure enough it was exactly the same as the 'cup'.
Story 3
Our boss called a meeting to yell at the office about low moral. People were treating each other very poorly. Mostly because we were all miserable and hated our job. Boss says "I'm not asking that you all become best friends. I just want to you treat each other with respect." Andy, who called into the meeting responds on speaker phone with "What if you don't respect the people you work with?" Boss is speechless.
I have so many stories, but I'd like to hear your "Andy" stories.
Edit 1:
To all the Andy fans, you have no idea how amazing he truly is. I don't want to be mean, but honestly, he's a 3 at best, has a lisp, smells like old socks, and his normal walk looks like he is walking down hill. Yet he constantly hits on women in the office who are 8s, 9s, and even 10s. Any time there's a new women, Andy is guaranteed to hit on her. And he will do is so bluntly. One time, he spoke with a woman for about 20 minutes, found out she had a boyfriend, and at the end of the conversation said, "So, just how faithful are you to your boyfriend?" She replied, "VERY...". And without being phased, he said, "Ok, I'll see you later. Bye." Andy has grapefruits.
Story 1
This person (let's call him Andy) I used to work with once brought boxes of red pens into the office. A few days later everyone was using them. Someone asked "where did these pens come from?" Andy responds "I went dumpster diving this weekend with my father. We found boxes of them in Staples' dumpster. Great find! Amirite?" We all threw our pens out.
Story 2
Andy is walking around the office with a GIANT glass of whole milk. It's huge. I swear it was a half a gallon. I said "wow Andy, that's a big glass of milk... Where do you find a glass that big". Andy responds "I found it"
"where?"
"I found it in another room. It was sitting by the window for weeks. No one claimed it so I took it"
This is when another coworker said "That 'cup' looks exactly like a vase I own..." The next day the coworker brought the vase in and sure enough it was exactly the same as the 'cup'.
Story 3
Our boss called a meeting to yell at the office about low moral. People were treating each other very poorly. Mostly because we were all miserable and hated our job. Boss says "I'm not asking that you all become best friends. I just want to you treat each other with respect." Andy, who called into the meeting responds on speaker phone with "What if you don't respect the people you work with?" Boss is speechless.
I have so many stories, but I'd like to hear your "Andy" stories.
Edit 1:
To all the Andy fans, you have no idea how amazing he truly is. I don't want to be mean, but honestly, he's a 3 at best, has a lisp, smells like old socks, and his normal walk looks like he is walking down hill. Yet he constantly hits on women in the office who are 8s, 9s, and even 10s. Any time there's a new women, Andy is guaranteed to hit on her. And he will do is so bluntly. One time, he spoke with a woman for about 20 minutes, found out she had a boyfriend, and at the end of the conversation said, "So, just how faithful are you to your boyfriend?" She replied, "VERY...". And without being phased, he said, "Ok, I'll see you later. Bye." Andy has grapefruits.
