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[Dalek]

Too Old for Sex? Not at This Nursing Home

When Audrey Davison met someone special at her nursing home, she wanted to love her man.

Her nurses and aides at the Hebrew Home at Riverdale did not try to stop her. On the contrary, she was allowed to stay over in her boyfriend’s room with the door shut under the Bronx home’s stated “sexual expression policy.” One aide even made the couple a “Do Not Disturb” sign to hang outside.

“I enjoyed it and he was a very good lover,” Ms. Davison, 85, said. “That was part of how close we were: physically touching and kissing.”

Ms. Davison is among a number of older Americans who are having intimate relationships well into their 70s and 80s, helped in some cases by Viagra and more tolerant societal attitudes toward sex outside marriage. These aging lovers have challenged traditional notions of growing old and, in some cases, raised logistical and legal issues for their families, caretakers and the institutions they call home.

Nursing homes in New York and across the country have increasingly broached the issue as part of a broader shift from institutional to individualized care, according to nursing home operators and their industry groups. Many have already loosened daily regimens to give residents more choice over, say, what time to bathe or what to eat for dinner. The next step for some is to allow residents the option of having sex, and to provide support for those who do.

“Sex falls right smack dab in the middle of who we are as people,” said Marguerite McLaughlin, senior director of quality improvement for the American Health Care Association, the nation’s largest trade association for nursing homes, representing nearly 10,000 of them.

The Hebrew Home has stepped up efforts to help residents looking for relationships. Staff members have organized a happy hour and a senior prom, and started a dating service, called G-Date, for Grandparent Date. Currently, about 40 of the 870 residents are involved in a relationship.

Dr. Cheryl Phillips, senior vice president for public policy and health services for LeadingAge, an industry group that represents more than 6,000 nonprofit elder-care service providers, including about 2,000 nursing homes, said sex would come up more often as baby boomers moved in. “They’ve been having sex — that’s part of who they are — and just because they’re moving into a nursing home doesn’t mean they’re going to stop having sex,” she said.

Daniel Reingold, the president and chief executive of RiverSpring Health, which operates the Hebrew Home, said growing old was all about loss: vision, hearing, mobility, even friends. Why should intimacy have to go, too? “We don’t lose the pleasure that comes with touch,” he said. “If intimacy leads to a sexual relationship, then let’s deal with it as grown-ups.”

The nursing home came up with a sexual expression policy in 1995 after a nurse walked in on two residents having sex. When the nurse asked Mr. Reingold what to do, he told her, “Tiptoe out and close the door behind you.”

Relationships also mean more drama for the staff, which tries to keep up with who is together and who is not. The dining room can be a land mine. Sometimes, one member of a couple will get jealous when the other pays attention to someone else. Other couples become too amorous, prompting calls to “keep it in your room.”

Still, Eileen Dunnion, a registered nurse who has three couples on her floor, said she encouraged her patients to take a chance on a relationship, reminding them, “You get old, you don’t get cold.” A few years ago, she served as a lookout for a man who had two girlfriends. He never got caught. “I did my job well,” Ms. Dunnion said. “Nurses wear many hats.”

......

 

[Guevara]

Age ain't nothing but a number works both ways, you know.

 

[Knuckle Sandwich]

Aren't old folks' homes swimming in stds? Why bother with rubbers when you're on death's door I guess.

 

[freenudemacusers]

wizard gaf has something to look forward to

 

[Eidan]

Aren't old folks' homes swimming in stds? Why bother with rubbers when you're on death's door I guess.

I remember there being stories of outbreaks back in the early 2000's.

 

[Galang]

Aren't old folks' homes swimming in stds? Why bother with rubbers when you're on death's door I guess.

I suppose so, but I imagine certain STDs would make your last few days alive hella uncomfortable or painful.

 

[adj_noun]

Or at any nursing home, really.

 

[backflip10019]

Only attractive people in their 20s should have sex.

 

[grap3fruitman]

I didn't know it was possible to have sex after 25.

 

[Angry Grimace]

I've always heard that being the new guy at an old folks home means you get swarmed with ladies since the nursing home population is way more female than male.

 

[JinjoUnchained]

Conan did a joke about this last night, how these seniors have now created the "roll of shame" (while pantomiming using a walker). Also, "is that the same bath robe you wore last night?"

 

[GreekWolf]

Elderly sex is in the same category as a sewage disposal worker - you know it's a "thing" and serves a purpose, but you certainly don't want to know anything about it.

 

[SliceSabre]

A few years ago, she served as a lookout for a man who had two girlfriends. He never got caught. “I did my job well,” Ms. Dunnion said. “Nurses wear many hats.”

I got a good laugh out of that one.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

.

 

[Soriku]

I've always heard that being the new guy at an old folks home means you get swarmed with ladies since the nursing home population is way more female than male.

 

[Biolink]

The nursing home came up with a sexual expression policy in 1995 after a nurse walked in on two residents having sex. When the nurse asked Mr. Reingold what to do, he told her, “Tiptoe out and close the door behind you.”

I'm dying lol.

 

[studyguy]

Those are some satisfied smiles in that story...

 

[Gabriel_Logan]

A new market for Gaffers!

 

[Sub_Level]

 

[Nelo Ice]

Fuck.. Hahahaha

 

[Dalek]

.

This is an amazing joke.