Ape Gone Insane
Member
There's been a lot of 'joke' threads on GAF recently so I want to make it clear that this is very much serious.
On Friday, when I was walking to the library, there was a seagull, with a distinctive red spot on the upper left eye, perched on the black hand railing outside the Law School. I remember thinking it looked a bit bizarre perched there. When I walked past it, it seemed to look at me and I could sense an intelligence behind those eyes. It followed me as I went past. Exactly 10 seconds later, I heard a flutter of wings and a dollop of whitish poo hit my Ralph Lauren coat. After swearing a lot, I made it to the library and gents toliets to clean up the mess.
Then on Saturday, I spotted a seagull hanging around outside the library. It was attacking a paper bag quite viciously and occasionally stopping to look around as if to non-verbally challenge the people going past. It looked a bit like a drunk cunt tbh. However, as I went past, it sort of just completely stopped to stare at me. It just sort of stood upright and cocked its head towards me. I got a good look at it and recognised the red spot on the upper left eye. In my head I pictured myself walking up to it and smashing its little face in but in the end, I gave it a knowing nod, you know, to form a non-verbal understanding like I've got your number bro and turned back to go home. Exactly 1 mile later, as I was approaching a busy crossing, I felt a splat near me. A flutter wings brushed overheard and I caught a glimpse of the seagull with the red spot land a few feet ahead of me.
On Sunday, I started having weird dreams and being woken up at 6am from knocking/pecking sounds at my window. But when I woke up, there was nothing there. I told my friends and family but they just laughed and looked at me like I was a nutter.
Monday (today): The seagull with the red spot on the upper left eye pictured below. Waiting for me near the bus stop which is nowhere near our last 2 encounters. ITS THE SAME FUCKER.
On Friday, when I was walking to the library, there was a seagull, with a distinctive red spot on the upper left eye, perched on the black hand railing outside the Law School. I remember thinking it looked a bit bizarre perched there. When I walked past it, it seemed to look at me and I could sense an intelligence behind those eyes. It followed me as I went past. Exactly 10 seconds later, I heard a flutter of wings and a dollop of whitish poo hit my Ralph Lauren coat. After swearing a lot, I made it to the library and gents toliets to clean up the mess.
Then on Saturday, I spotted a seagull hanging around outside the library. It was attacking a paper bag quite viciously and occasionally stopping to look around as if to non-verbally challenge the people going past. It looked a bit like a drunk cunt tbh. However, as I went past, it sort of just completely stopped to stare at me. It just sort of stood upright and cocked its head towards me. I got a good look at it and recognised the red spot on the upper left eye. In my head I pictured myself walking up to it and smashing its little face in but in the end, I gave it a knowing nod, you know, to form a non-verbal understanding like I've got your number bro and turned back to go home. Exactly 1 mile later, as I was approaching a busy crossing, I felt a splat near me. A flutter wings brushed overheard and I caught a glimpse of the seagull with the red spot land a few feet ahead of me.
On Sunday, I started having weird dreams and being woken up at 6am from knocking/pecking sounds at my window. But when I woke up, there was nothing there. I told my friends and family but they just laughed and looked at me like I was a nutter.
Monday (today): The seagull with the red spot on the upper left eye pictured below. Waiting for me near the bus stop which is nowhere near our last 2 encounters. ITS THE SAME FUCKER.
