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Am I in the forever friend zone?

T

Tall4Life

Member
TarpitCarnivore said:
And thus why the term friend zone can be so negative. The assumption she "enjoys the free attention" is what leads to people like OP thinking friend zone is a real situation.
Click to expand...

That's why I'm wary of all the talk of posters here saying that she's manipulating him... But ignoring that OP is totally playing himself, saying they've been on 50 dates already....lol
 
G

GashPrex

NeoGaf-Gold™ Member
Do you give her money?

Also I've never heard of a friendship where you hold hands and tell each other you love each other - granted I've been out of dating for 10 years ....
 
R

_Ryo_

Member
Judging people on having an anime avatar instead of their actual opinons and beliefs that matter, Delusions of dating when its anything but, trying to go right into financial discussions before even starting a relationship, laugable MRA nonsense, disingenuous critique of feminism...

This is a sad, sad thread...
 
R

RMI

Banned
Iolo said:
So we've gone from not wanting a relationship until she gets her career going, to waiting until she has a career and is financially secure, and I guess the next step is getting into some practice relationships with other men so she can make her mistakes there and avoid hurting you with her relationship inexperience.

Eventually she will not want to date you until she's married with three kids. Or perhaps in another life...
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Omg lol. I'm dying.
 
A

Adam_Vania

Banned
WaterAstro said:
Does it sound like I'm forever friend zoned? We've been together for 3 months, and it's only getting stronger, it feels like. I like to dwell on the possibility that she wants to be with me when we get her career going, but I needed to see what others think.
Click to expand...

you have given no indication that you have done anything to let her know you want to be more than friends. everything you said in your OP sounds like you just want to be friends. she even brought that up, directly asking you, and you said you just want to be friends. you even told her she should find a boyfriend.

what do you want from this person? in the OP you are being a little unclear. all the signals you are sending say you don't need this to be a romantic relationship. by labelling this a "friend zone" i feel you are sort of unwittingly heaping the blame onto her, blame that seems entirely your own fault.

imo you are lying to yourself to some degree. you should sit down and seriously consider what you want from this. then give her an ultimatum. if you really value her as a friend then you shouldn't even consider this "friend zone" bs. it is acting out a double standard. if you want her as a partner, be honest with her, honesty is always the best policy in love.
 
Ban Puncher

Ban Puncher

Member
WaterAstro said:
LOL What the hell is this still doing on first page.

Alright, here's the update. I listened to the GOOD advice about asking her again. I had the chance to as we went out for dinner after working with her most of the afternoon. I brought up the time I asked her out and asked if her feelings changed.

She said yes. She never thought about relationships seriously until she felt my dedication towards helping her with her life. She got to know me a lot better since she turned me down, and she wants me to be in a relationship, however, she doesn't feel confident in herself when it comes to a relationship where we would live with each other if she isn't making good income.

I told her that her money doesn't matter me, and that I'm going to help her no matter what kind of relationship we're in. She's still not comfortable being unable to share in the expenses, but she really likes our time together because it's giving her a lot of confidence and morale to work hard, so I told her that we can stay the course and keep doing what we're doing.

I guess I shouldn't say I'm not interested in a relationship with her, rather I should just say I stopped thinking about it in order to focus on helping her. Seems like our relationship built anyway, and I'm pretty happy with how things are right now. I don't think asking really made any difference, but it was nice to know.

Anyway, you funny gaffers with some good advice and mostly bad advice, you all made an interesting thread out of this situation. Keep it up.
Click to expand...

hpeNyod.jpg
 
F

Frozenprince

Banned
GashPrex said:
Do you give her money?

Also I've never heard of a friendship where you hold hands and tell each other you love each other - granted I've been out of dating for 10 years ....
Click to expand...
I know several people who have one and who've engaged in one. I have a couple.

Intimacy and love doesn't mean "ay gurl u want sum fuk". Or it shouldn't. At least. In OPs case he's definitely trying to leverage that into wanting to be with this woman romantically.

But "friend zone" nonsense doesn't mean people can't be intimate with people. I tell my male friends I love them all the time because I do.

Love =/= romantic love.
 
Q

Quixzlizx

Member
Given the OP seems mentally erratic, maybe we should start getting worried about how vague he's being about the "helping."

Maybe he's stalking and killing any guy who talks to her.
 
M

Mahonay

Banned
She's your friend and that's all it will ever be. It's detrimental and unhealthy for you to keep up hope that you'll be in a romantic relationship with her.

Move on. There's millions of other fish in the sea. You can find someone else. It'll be ok.
 
M

Mr Git

Member
Two Words said:
Romance in Persona is so god-fucking-awful. It's the kind of shit that the OP seems to be buying into. It creates this perception that you can get the girl you want by just being there for her until she discovers that she has cared for you in an intimate way all along.
Click to expand...

OP be like, I should choose my words carefully every day.
 
L

Linkura

Member
This fucking thread. This fucking thread.

I was reading it last night. Wake up, and it just keeps getting weirder and weirder.
 
A

Angelus Errare

Banned
Plot twist.

OP doesn't know this girl at all, he just saw her once while she was out with her boyfriend. He then proceeded to make up this crazy story to boost his confidence and convince himself that one day this girl would be his.

This is all some Elliot Rodgers type shit.
 
D

DonShula

Member
Jobbs said:
I'm guessing in real life whoever this is based on is someone he's barely spoken and has been leering at for months
Click to expand...

Probably mouths "l love you" from behind a window while he watches her leave work for the day.

Seriously though, the threads today...
 
S

Spinluck

Member
Stop holding hands and shit.

Stay friends with her if you want, but only if you truly want to be her friend.

If you are hoping it leads to more someday then move on and save yourself the heartache.
 
L

Lkr

Member
Linkura said:
This fucking thread. This fucking thread.

I was reading it last night. Wake up, and it just keeps getting weirder and weirder.
Click to expand...
Yeah...someone posted the Doc Rivers gif a while back (maybe on the first page) but it literally can't be posted enough.
 
Ivellios

Ivellios

Member
What does "MRA" means? English is not my first language

As for the OP, after seeing your updates, its clear to me that you are just trying to play the "cool guy" who is messing with GAF, after receiving a overwhelming number of good advice that you should move on.

I truly hope you dont keep this up, because in the end when this girl find a boyfriend, you will hurt like hell, save yourself from this before it happens buddy.

Be well
 
G

GK86

Homeland Security Fail
OP: "Would you want to go out with me?"
Her: "I just don't think I'm in a place to be the perfect wife, you know?"
 
N

notaskwid

Member
Ivellios said:
What does "MRA" means? English is not my first language

As for the OP, after seeing your updates, its clear to me that you are just trying to play the "cool guy" who is messing with GAF, after receiving a overwhelming number of good advice that you should move on.

I truly hope you dont keep this up, because in the end when this girl find a boyfriend, you will hurt like hell, save yourself from this before it happens buddy.

Be well
Click to expand...
Men rights activist.
 
D

Draper

Member
GK86 said:
OP: "Would you want to go out with me?"
Her: "I just don't think I'm in a place to be the perfect wife, you know?"
Click to expand...

"Ha, yeah, that's cool. I'm cool. I just thought I'd throw it out there for the yucks. Here, let me get the check."
 
T

Tall4Life

Member
Ivellios said:
What does "MRA" means? English is not my first language

As for the OP, after seeing your updates, its clear to me that you are just trying to play the "cool guy" who is messing with GAF, after receiving a overwhelming number of good advice that you should move on.

I truly hope you dont keep this up, because in the end when this girl find a boyfriend, you will hurt like hell, save yourself from this before it happens buddy.

Be well
Click to expand...

MRA means Men's Rights Activist, basically another a word for a misogynist. They think women are a game to be won, but also all women are master manipulators and never say what they actually mean, and that they're just nice guys that all women hate because they aren't assholes.
 
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