• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

I think I'm losing my love of gaming because of the community

M

Mr. Giggles

Member
Like most of us, my time spent gaming has decreased more and more due to new responsibilities and commitments making its way into my life:

> Work
> Relationships
> New familial obligations

At first, I felt bad, my backlog which I prided myself on never having started and grew, from having 0 games to now 4 games. But then, reading some threads here on GAF I realized this was just part of growing up and it calmed me down a bit.

But, there was a fourth reason that didn't strike me until I became a member here on GAF and as you might have guessed from the title, it was the community - attitudes of gamers mostly.

Now don't get me wrong, I like the community on GAF you guys are hilarious what with the tags, joke threads and masters of GIF making plus given the moderation, it's MUCH less toxic to read than lots of other gaming forums. Additionally, I know gamers come from a broad spectrum of beliefs and morals, thus I have find myself generalizing a diverse bunch but the one thing I think is whats pushing me away from gaming is the somewhat childish behavior inherent with our hobby:

> The hyperbole - everything is either the GOAT or the WOAT
> The need/want to constantly have something the other has - X console does this therefore Y console should also do it
> The whole console warrior mentality - and its astounding ability to survive from one generation of gamers to the next
> What gamergate has evolved to
> The suit worship
> The worrying attitude/acceptance towards representations of women and underage girls in video games

I understand that gaming is a hobby applicable to any age, beliefs and backgrounds thus some of it is to be expected also that some of what I listed above is not exclusive to gaming (android fans vs apple fans etc) but I feel its still killing my love for the hobby

*sigh*

Maybe its just me, perhaps I've become bitter, jaded and more prudish with age, yelling at the clouds and what not... but I feel less and less inclined to engage in discussion anymore because its the same old battles on the same old hills

Anyone else?
 
Jawmuncher

Jawmuncher

Member
I understand where you're coming from OP and have felt that way before. I've even felt communities for certain games ruining my enjoyment. Just taking a break from it all helps a lot.
 
B

brau

Member
Find a nice community or people that share your same views and enjoy it.

Don't let people get in the way of your enjoyment of a hobby.
 
M

mrklaw

MrArseFace
No.

You know why? Because this isn't remotely exclusive to gamers. I think its just something that happens when you get a bunch of people together to talk about similar things. AVS forum can be a great place to get information on TVs or audio equipment, but it can also be an absolute PITA to filter through fanboy comments, or the inevitable group of people ignoring your question and spending 10x your budget because anything else than their suggestion is worthless trash.

You just have to filter. Either avoid those places and come get a hug from GAF, or if you have to visit other sites, dip in for the information you need, and then get out again.
 
I

Imp the Dimp

Member
Mr. Giggles said:
but I feel less and less inclined to engage in discussion anymore because its the same old battles on the same old hills
Click to expand...

Me too. But it doesn't keep me from playing games I enjoy so I'm not sure if I see your point. The shittiness of gaming's community has no impact on my enjoyment of the hobby. And honestly, having been on the internet for like 16 years, I feel like it's actually gotten better. People are obviously hyperbolic but whatever, I don't really mind.
 
T

The Jackdog

Member
but its not a necessary part of the thing you like.

you like gaming? go play some games.

fuck what anyone here or anywhere else says about what you play and how and on what console.
 
entremet

entremet

Member
Not at all.

In fact, I avoid a lot of the stuff on purpose.

Gamergate is a good example.

I'd rather focus on promoting and supporting diverse games than be on this endless war with internet cretins. Why waste my energy and attention on them?

I also don't care what AAA publishers do regarding their new monetizing strategies. I just don't participate. I vote with my attention and dollar. There are enough games that refrain from those practices too keep me busy.

Gaming has never been better.
 
V

Visualante2

Member
I think it's important to distinguish between online multiplayer communities and the enthusiast gaming forums. As for your other commitments, have you thought about playing more mobile and hand held games? A lot of parents on GAF say that this is easier to fit in their life.

As someone who has stayed out of gamer gate. I haven't found this to be a problem on this site, and it's more of a background hum than an annoyance for the people I follow on Twitter. It's not hard to just ignore things like that. It sounds to me like you almost want to keep up to date on everything going on- to the detriment of your enjoyment of actual games.
 
Z

Zalman

Member
I get what you mean. Constant negativity takes the fun out of it. The best time to be a part of a community like this is when everyone is happy and excited about something.
 
D

daveo42

Banned
Spend less time on game sites and more playing games during your free time or ignore sites with more caustic communities. Btw, it's sometimes better to read the headlines than dig into threads or comments because there are always people who are only seeking attention and not actually engage in conversation.
 
F

Fergie

Banned
Shouldn't relate your enjoyment of gaming to what a community does.

Involve yourself less if it impacts your enjoyment that badly.
 
A

akidnamededdy

Banned
If you're less inclined to engage in discussion with the community, then don't. Easy peasy. You don't need to post here to fully enjoy whatever games you manage to make time for.

I was getting discouraged too so I dialed back my gaming activities not directly related to actual gaming a ton (reading and posting here, checking news sites, etc) and I feel a lot better now.
 
C

conman

Member
Let your tastes evolve along with your attitudes. Gaming is a much bigger and more varied world than it used to be. There are games and communities aplenty, many with far less caricatured attitudes than what you're currently finding.

I totally understand and sympathize with what you are saying. And it can be hard to avoid. Just don't expect that your gaming fix will be satisfied in the same ways that it used to be. Try different, more off-the-beaten path games. Be more selective in what you read and in what videos you watch. Trying taking a break, then come back but try playing new types of games and reading/watching new types of gaming fan sites.
 
G

GalacticMouse

Member
Mr. Giggles said:
...snip...

Maybe its just me, perhaps I've become bitter, jaded and more prudish with age, yelling at the clouds and what not... but I feel less and less inclined to engage in discussion anymore because its the same old battles on the same old hills

Anyone else?
Click to expand...

I can't tell you how many long posts I've written out, gone back to edit, and just deleted completely because I don't want to read all the one word, dismissive answers to my detailed post. So yes...this isn't just you.

As for all of the other stuff, maybe take a break from GAF for a little bit and settle into a game you're interested in without worrying what other people think of it?

One thing that pushed me towards this line of thinking was beating The Last of Us and jumping straight into the spoiler thread...like, withing 10 minutes of stopping the game. I read some interesting points, but by going into the thread immediately, it sort of robbed me of having my own reaction to the game. I wish I had thought more about the game myself before going into threads and reading arguments about character motivations and ethics.

EDIT: To elaborate...gaming can be such a cool thing. It can make you strive to get better at something (Resogun, Geometry Wars, etc), it can make you think (Gone Home, TLoU, etc), or it can just be a way to spend time with friends (Destiny, Borderlands, CoD, etc). If you become so obsessed with getting onto the message boards to talk about them, games can become just that...message board fodder. Enjoy your games for what they are and then, when you're done with them, maybe check out the message boards to read what other people thought of the game if you're curious.
 
R

RipperGrim

Member
It's an internet thing, we have only words in text format to express ourselves and to get noticed in the massive pile of meaningless words we exaggerate shit to ridiculous degrees.
 
M

MicroByter

Member
You seem to be okay with GAF, just stick to it. If a community in particular annoys you, ignore them.

Play to have fun. I understand Community and playing somewhat go hand in hand, but don't let dummy's bring you down.
 
D

Disaster Nebraska

Banned
Take a break from the community. It's disheartening to come to a place (whether it's a forum or a group of friends or a favorite bar) and realize that you've moved on from that kind of discussion.

Go beat two videogames and don't come back until you do. And when you get that itch to tell someone about such-and-such that you accomplished in a game or when you want to rant about such-and-such in a highly-praised game, don't. Just internalize it and keep playing.

I enjoy coming to GAF, but it's my only "online" community. Even so, I still have to gauge my involvement here. I don't like the Facebook-ization of everything nowadays. I should be able to beat a game and have my own thoughts about it without feeling a desperate need to go online and post about my experience. Believe me, it'll help keep you in balance.
 
M

Mr. Giggles

Member
spindashing said:
hey fam you can mail me your games if you dont want them anymore
Click to expand...

Hahaha, nice try!


Imp the Dimp said:
Me too. But it doesn't keep me from playing games I enjoy so I'm not sure if I see your point. The shittiness of gaming's community has no impact on my enjoyment of the hobby. And honestly, having been on the internet for like 16 years, I feel like it's actually gotten better. People are obviously hyperbolic but whatever, I don't really mind.
Click to expand...

Yea, I suppose, but It fun to discuss you know, from time to time I like to hear thoughts about what some of my kin think about how a game played out, like in terms of writing and such

The Jackdog said:
but its not a necessary part of the thing you like.

you like gaming? go play some games.

fuck what anyone here or anywhere else says about what you play and how and on what console.
Click to expand...

Indeed I should, perhaps I should give less thought on the community and more on the hobby
 
Raven117

Raven117

Gold Member
OP,
As an adult gamer, your gaming habits are going to be quite different.

Its not uncommon to go months without playing...(I skipped an entire generation).

Take a step back, and only buy games when you really want to play them...not just for the sake of playing.

Or...well...maybe you have just moved on.
 
LifEndz

LifEndz

Member
I stopped going on other forums because the whole console war thing became the main focus of most threads, as opposed to discussing games. That might work for you, OP.
 
R

RipperGrim

Member
DrROBschiz said:
Gonna have to agree with the thread here

This is a personal problem

Stop looking for a scapegoat man.
Click to expand...

Please, it's not scapegoat. The gaming community is mostly garbage and Neogaf is the best because there seems to be mods around 24/7 ready to ban. Having a good community can drive people towards gaming and it certainly can drive people away from it.
 
M

Mr. Giggles

Member
Ultimadrago said:
The Super Ignore and Thread Hide scripts are what you're looking for!
Click to expand...

?! please tell me more, what are hide scripts?

conman said:
Let your tastes evolve along with your attitudes. Gaming is a much bigger and more varied world than it used to be. There are games and communities aplenty, many with far less caricatured attitudes than what you're currently finding.

I totally understand and sympathize with what you are saying. And it can be hard to avoid. Just don't expect that your gaming fix will be satisfied in the same ways that it used to be. Try different, more off-the-beaten path games. Be more selective in what you read and in what videos you watch. Trying taking a break, then come back but try playing new types of games and reading/watching new types of gaming fan sites.
Click to expand...

Indeed, taking a break might be the best thing to do

RipperGrim said:
It's an internet thing, we have only words in text format to express ourselves and to get noticed in the massive pile of meaningless words we exaggerate shit to ridiculous degrees.
Click to expand...

Yes, this isn't exclusive to our forums... the constant need to be funny or trigger responses can be found everywhere

DrROBschiz said:
Gonna have to agree with the thread here

This is a personal problem

Stop looking for a scapegoat man.
Click to expand...

wasn't my intent
 
G

GeordieMark

Member
Like others have said, just take a step back from the forums and stuff and go back to enjoy games for what they are. I find GAF makes me jaded and have a lot of the same thoughts you mention.
 
M

MightyHedgehog

Member
Play more games, spend less time on the internet talking about them, and you'll be surprised how much more you enjoy them. GAF is one of the best online places to share your appreciation of gaming and whatnot, but don't let it rule your real life interaction with things you enjoy.
 
I

IronicSonic

Member
Mr. Giggles said:
> The hyperbole - everything is either the GOAT or the WOAT
> The need/want to constantly have something the other has - X console does this therefore Y console should also do it
> The whole console warrior mentality - and its astounding ability to survive from one generation of gamers to the next
> What gamergate has evolved to
> The suit worship
> The worrying attitude/acceptance towards representations of women and underage girls in video games
Click to expand...

I feel the same way

I running a blog about VG in my country and the community is incredible toxic every now and then. It's hard to defend it sometimes when I try to speak about videogames as a mature and even reasonable entertainment media.

Edit: Taken from the other thread, also I hate that Sega Games flops :(
 
U

Uchigatana

Member
Honestly, for the first two bulletpoints, just enjoy what it has to offer. If you keep reading threads complaining how the game is great but nitpick every technical flaws, you are never gonna be happy. You should not let the gaming community dictate your enjoyment due to their unrealistic hype. Just keep it real, and let the enjoyment come to you.
 
Mediking

Mediking

Member
MightyHedgehog said:
Play more games, spend less time on the internet talking about them, and you'll be surprised how much more you enjoy them. GAF is one of the best online places to share your appreciation of gaming and whatnot, but don't let it rule your real life interaction with things you enjoy.
Click to expand...

Solid answer right here.
 
S

SliceSabre

Banned
No.

Why? Because I do not care. I do not care about people going on Xbox vs. PS4 vs. PC wars, I do not engage those people and pay attention to conversations/threads about them. If a thread devolves into it I just leave it and move on.

Gamergate, people sucking up to suits etc. I just don't pay much attention to any of it or engage anyone on either side of these debates. When I engage the community I focus on talking about the games themselves and that has made me a much happier person when I do. Hell sometimes I avoid GAF too because the people here can be so god damn jaded and no amount of moderation can be done about that. Hell mods get jaded too ya know.

Just gotta learn to tune out everything else and enjoy the games.
 
K

kitsuneyo

Member
I accept there are ignorant and foolish people in all walks of life, then I do what I think is right and want to do. Gamergate, fanboyism etc are sad but they don't reflect the whole of video games.

Also GAF shields me from a lot of the crap that seems to exist on YouTube, Twitter, news site comment threads and so on. I get 99% of my gaming info here.
 
Whompa02

Whompa02

Member
I share your feelings 150%

I also just find a lot of games and IPs that I used to love not getting any love from the companies that own them...so I kinda just slowly give up on a lot of this stuff.
 
D

Disaster Nebraska

Banned
MightyHedgehog said:
Play more games, spend less time on the internet talking about them, and you'll be surprised how much more you enjoy them. GAF is one of the best online places to share your appreciation of gaming and whatnot, but don't let it rule your real life interaction with things you enjoy.
Click to expand...
Sometimes that's easier said than done.

For the same reason that Let's Plays are a thing, there's a certain pleasure in talking about all sorts of topics related to videogames. Thing is, I can pop in on GAF during my entire workday, whereas I only have a small window of opportunity after work and on weekends to sit down and play a videogame. It's not a healthy pattern of behavior, but there's no denying that experiencing videogames vicariously through a forum becomes addictive when you barely have time in your own schedule to play games.
 
K

KillerDark

Member
Don't engage with the community then, that simple :). Just play games you enjoy/have fun with and don't worry about what others are saying!
 
M

Mr. Giggles

Member
Uchigatana said:
Honestly, for the first two bulletpoints, just enjoy what it has to offer. If you keep reading threads complaining how the game is great but nitpick every technical flaws, you are never gonna be happy. You should not let the gaming community dictate your enjoyment due to their unrealistic hype. Just keep it real, and let the enjoyment come to you.
Click to expand...

I think part me had an unrealistic expectation that having discussion would bring help medium evolve in to what we all consider it to be i.e. art.
 
A

Auctopus

Member
There is a terrible side to GAF: people who have unreasonably high expectations, are toxic in their beliefs about games and their fan followings and the worst of all... the fickle hivemind.

It's your job to disconnect, like what you wanna like and play what you wanna play.

Edit: Sub to the communities you like and ignore the rest.
 
T

tebunker

Banned
Op,

I get you man, this place, hell pretty much any enthusiast community can be equal parts the best thing and worst thing about the hobby.

I actually gave up Gaf for lent last year, worked out okay, but you just find other outlets to communicate with like minded folks.

The key is to learn to filter out the fud. Especially here. I know what threads to ignore and what will be worth reading within the first couple sentences of an OP. So you have to figure out what you really want and set to living by those rules. Ignore the chaff and dont spend more time on here versus doing something you may find worthwhile.

I know personally I'll gaf for like 3 days or so and then ignore it for a week. Don't fear missing anything.


So tldr; work on some personal filters to help you still get something out of the community; step back or step away for periods to not get burnt out, and make sure you're doing things you enjoy or make you feel productive/happy first, and I think you'll be fine.

You're not bitter or jaded or anything stupid like that, you just are starting to value your time more and struggling to best sort out what to do with it.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Compulsion Games Community Manager Katie Robinson recently claimed, “I hate gamers.” , "White Male Gamers Were A Mistake"
6 7 8 9 10
451
46K
DaciaJC replied
What are you going to miss most about physical video games discs?
2
60
2K
cireza replied
Helldivers 2 Community Manager Has Been Fired After Bad Management
Business Cringe 2
61
6K
Arachnid replied
I think I'm transitioning into my "old man" stage of gaming.
2 3 4
170
9K
sigmaZ replied
If I'm sick of the state of the gaming industry, what are some genuinely good indie games to check out?
2
92
5K
truth411 replied
Top Bottom