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How to get a diverse friend circle?

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DOWN

DOWN

Banned
One of my jobs is super diverse and I love it and knowing other cultures there but I'm not good at creating friendships outside of the workplace. My other job on the other hand has me kind of pissed off because out of like 130 people, two are black (no joke) and like 5 are Hispanic. The rest are like grossly conservative white christians who like Trump and mock gays and yesterday I caught one of the grossest racist comments I've ever heard in person. So that job won't be a source of diverse experiences.

But further than that, my white, straight, Christian parents have almost no non-white non-straight friends (my mom is friends with one black woman but I don't live with my parents so I never see her anymore).

My boyfriend is from Colombia so that's been nice to hear lots about his culture. But I want some diverse friends! If I have kids sometime I want them to have all kinds of role models. Black role models, Asian, etc.

So how did you find people outside of your culture and background? Like literally where do you find people?

Fake edit: literally as I'm typing this on my break, a guy is going on a rant about how a survey he is taking says "male, female, other" and "what the hell is other? Have we gone mad." Yeah I want the exact opposite of that bigoted hell in my friendships
 
G

Gordon Shumway

Banned
DOWN said:
Fake edit: literally as I'm typing this on my break, a guy is going on a rant about how a survey he is taking says "male, female, other" and "what the hell is other? Have we gone mad." Yeah I want the exact opposite of that bigoted hell in my friendships
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diablos991 said:
By listening and being tolerant of opinions that don't align with your own.
Click to expand...

lol..

Anyway:

School. Playing ball. Work. People are out there. No need to hook up with intolerant assholes like old devil suggested. Plenty of great folks out there to meet that aren't pieces of shit..
 
R

RobotHaus

Unconfirmed Member
Do things in the community. Talk to people. Not sure how diverse your town is, but I'm sure there's some variety there. Be a more open individual and encourage more people to get together.
 
E

EstoyBlackWaldo

Member
Frequent places well known to be tolerant. Bars where you see a diverse crowd, rec center, boxing gyms, gaming groups, classes, book groups etc.
 
M

Mendrox

Member
RobotHaus said:
Do things in the community. Talk to people. Not sure how diverse your town is, but I'm sure there's some variety there. Be a more open individual and encourage more people to get together.
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This. But really strange that you have to have diverse friends..how about just being friends with people regardless for they are. Diverse people will join in your life or not...
 
V

ViewtifulJC

Banned
just know you only need like 5 or 6 actual friends. Not like people you kinda know or hundreds of Facebook friends you haven't interacted with in forever. I mean people that you know like the back of their hands. People you can count on to you help you out of love, and you'd do the same. People who'd actually be worried about you if you ended up in the hospital, not out of obligation, but because they care about your well-being. Frankly having more than 5-6 of those people in ya life could be emotionally stressful. You want some people who you actually want to be around.
 
Grizzlyjin

Grizzlyjin

Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
When you pass a Black person on the street, give them the head nod and not a half smile. That way they'll know you're good.

Are you into politics? You can meet a pretty diverse group at activist events. I meet people everywhere. Some stuff is just universal. Movies, comic books, etc. I also keep my eye out for local events like festivals and food tasting.
 
B

besada

Banned
Mendrox said:
This. But really strange that you have to have diverse friends..how about just being friends with people regardless for they are. Diverse people will join in your life or not...
Click to expand...

Because a diverse group of friends enriches your life in the way a group in your own bubble doesn't. New cultural viewpoints, new foods, new music, new ideas. Diversity is a good thing to seek, as it opens us to ideas outside our own comfort zone.
 
M

Mr Fahrenheit

Member
Personally I think going out specifically looking for black and gay people to diversify your circle is a little insincere. I mean, I get the idea and wanting a diverse group of friends is a good thing but I guess I'm just the type who stumbles into friendships rather than specifically going out to make friends, especially particular ones.

I met pretty much all of my really close friends playing games online, and I'd say it's a pretty diverse bunch. No place to meet different people like the information superhighway.
 
M

Mahonay

Banned
Living in Bushwick Brooklyn just automatically lends to meeting a lot of different kinds of people. I usually meet my friends while out for drinks, or meeting friends of friends. My friend group is incredibly diverse, including people from other countries (Brazil, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, France, South Africa, China, Korea, Australia) Although wherever I've been in life it's usually that way. I'm happiest when I'm not just around a bunch of white people all the time. I'd say about half of my friends are white, and half that are various other ethnicities.

But yeah, as others have said, just place yourself in environments where you are guaranteed to meet different kinds of people. Just be friendly and open and you'll have some easy new friends.
 
K

King Gilga

Member
It depends on where you live.

When I lived in Surrey Vancouver my friends were basically all brown because everyone in my area and school were mostly brown, when I lived in San Diego and Calgary my friends were basically all White, because my area and school were mostly all white.

In London though, my friend group is insanely diverse, probably because the city is, it's not something you really try for, it just happens.

You make friends with people you meet, and the people you meet depends on where you live/work/school/hang out at.
 
S

sir_kevith

Member
Mr Fahrenheit said:
Personally I think going out specifically looking for black and gay people to diversify your circle is a little insincere.

I met pretty much all of my really close friends playing games online, and I'd say it's a pretty diverse bunch. No place to meet different people like the information superhighway.
Click to expand...

I agree that it comes off as insincere.

We had a funny neighbor who was coming off so obvious and desperate about wanting a black friend. This woman would straight up run outside her house if she saw my girlfriend walking by and talk about how cool it was that she moved into the neighborhood, and constantly invited her to all kinds of weird hippy dippy talent shows that she'd host at her house.

Then the door rings one night, and she randomly brought some other black woman over to our house because she just had to introduce her to my girlfriend! It is some Portlandia shit in real life haha.
 
G

Goliath

Member
DOWN said:
One of my jobs is super diverse and I love it but I'm not good at creating friendships outside of the workplace. My other job on the other hand has me kind of pissed off because out of like 130 people, two are black (no joke) and like 5 are Hispanic. The rest are like grossly conservative white christians who like Trump and mock gays and yesterday I caught one of the grossest racist comments I've ever heard in person. So that job won't be a source of diverse experiences.

But further than that, my white, straight, Christian parents have almost no non-white non-straight friends (my mom is friends with one black woman but I don't live with my parents so I never see her anymore).

My boyfriend is from Colombia so that's been nice to hear lots about his culture. But I want some diverse friends! If I have kids sometime I want them to have all kinds of role models. Black role models, Asian, etc.

So how did you find people outside of your culture and background? Like literally where do you find people?

Fake edit: literally as I'm typing this on my break, a guy is going on a rant about how a survey he is taking says "male, female, other" and "what the hell is other? Have we gone mad." Yeah I want the exact opposite of that bigoted hell in my friendships
Click to expand...

You don't have a united nation of friends to teach your kid about other cultures. Depending on where you live you should look into the many cultural festivals. Near me I have already taken my daughter to a Hispanic one, Buddhist one and Vietnamese one. She is only 1 year old. These cultural festivals are also places where you can meet people from different cultures and make friends if that is what you want.
 
U

UnemployedVillain

Member
diablos991 said:
By listening and being tolerant of opinions that don't align with your own.
Click to expand...

...Did you even read what he's asking?

KingV said:
Fetlife
Click to expand...

tumblr_mm6cnzLf2o1s4y2zbo1_400.gif
 
G

Gotdatmoney

Member
Friendships are really a function of a lot of different things. You don't really need to search out for more diverse friends, you just have to be open to meeting new and different people
 
smoothj

smoothj

Member
I have a very diverse group of friends. It just happened that way since highschool. They consider me "the white guy" because I look white even though I'm full Mexican and speak only Spanish at my house. It's cool to experience all their cultures as we grew up. I'm pretty lucky to have these friends for 15+ years.
 
F

Figboy79

Aftershock LA
For me, OP, I moved to Los Angeles.

I'm from Milwaukee (born in Los Angeles, raised in Milwaukee my whole life), and it's predominantly White, Black, and Puerto Rican. Very few Asians, and even less people from the Middle East. It wasn't until I moved to Los Angeles and started working and going out and about that I met a ton of people from different ethnic backgrounds (some born and raised in America, some migrants from other countries), and it did a fantastic job of broadening my world view, and eliminating a lot of prejudices I had. I'm a black guy, by the way, and in Wisconsin, most of my friends were white, and a few were black.

Here in LA, I have a lot of friends of varying closeness, but they're from all over the country, and the world. Sometimes you just have to go someplace where diversity is prevalent, and friendships will grow naturally.

People are people, and like-minded people will find one another. I imagine with social media and the internet, it's a lot easier to meet new people than it was back when I moved out to LA almost 20 years ago.
 
stufte

stufte

Member
shoplifter said:
"Gotta catch 'em all"
Click to expand...

Seriously.

OP it feels like you're treating minorities as tokens. Don't do that. Make friends with people you like, regardless of their ethnicity. If those people happen to be another race than you, great! But seeking out minorities to be friends with just because of the color of their skin is pretty odd.
 
T

TalonJH

Member
Fist bump every black and latino person you meet and ask them if you can touch their hair.

Don't do that.

Just talk to people the same way you would anyone else and you'll make friends. As long as you work, live, hang out in diverse places it happens naturally.
 
DOWN

DOWN

Banned
Uh to clarify, no, I don't have a checklist of groups I want all checked off and I think it's kind of ridiculous some people are suggesting that I said as much. I just gave examples that are outside my upbringing and would never expect to have 'one person from every category,' but I am simply asking broadly how I can get out of the bubble of conservative white people I grew up in because my limited experiences in diverse schools and one of my jobs have been important and really great for me. Kind of disappointing how some people are misinterpreting.
 
D

DontBeThatGuy

Member
DOWN said:
Uh to clarify, no, I don't have a checklist of groups I want all checked off and I think it's kind of ridiculous some people are suggesting that I said as much. I just gave examples that are outside my upbringing and would never expect to have 'one person from every category,' but I am simply asking broadly how I can get out of the bubble of conservative white people I grew up in because my limited experiences in diverse schools and one of my jobs have been important and really great for me. Kind of disappointing how some people are misinterpreting.
Click to expand...

There's some good advice in here though. Ignore the cynics.
 
T

TickleMeElbow

Member
You pretty much have to move to a more diverse area, or find shit to do that features a more diverse crowd....which is hard if you don't live in a diverse area lol.
 
F

family_guy

Member
Depends on if you want real friends or facebook friends. If it's the former you could try meetup.com and join a few groups. Most groups show the photos of the members so you can gauge how diverse the group is.
 
M

Mahonay

Banned
DOWN said:
Uh to clarify, no, I don't have a checklist of groups I want all checked off and I think it's kind of ridiculous some people are suggesting that I said as much. I just gave examples that are outside my upbringing and would never expect to have 'one person from every category,' but I am simply asking broadly how I can get out of the bubble of conservative white people I grew up in because my limited experiences in diverse schools and one of my jobs have been important and really great for me. Kind of disappointing how some people are misinterpreting.
Click to expand...
It seemed clear you were just trying to extend out from your current situation, but seeing people in here being super condescending about it is pretty ironic.
 
N

neverknowsbest

Member
People really like it when you become friends with them as a way to experience different cultures, rather than for who they are. This is the most ridiculously white post I've ever seen.
 
D

Dahaka

Member
As a child I went outside to the park and played football and got to know a huge pool of people from various countries. Played almost everyday, especially on vacations/school off. It was that easy.

And still is today. Just go outside and meet people who play team sports. And be natural about it as one guy here said.
 
N

NCR Redslayer

NeoGAF's Vegeta
Well im not white so its easier but I feel like if I were its better if you just look through your facebook friends and filter the sensibles from the crazies. But what do i know, my favorite anime is jojo and AoT, and my favorite youtubers is 3 canadians and a black guy.
 
shoplifter

shoplifter

Member
Mahonay said:
It seemed clear you were just trying to extend out from your current situation, but seeing people in here being super condescending about it is pretty ironic.
Click to expand...

That did not seem clear to me. It sounded to me that OP wants to be friends with X, Y, and Z not because they have something in common or get along well but simply for the sake of having people of many different cultures as friends/acquaintances.


If you want an answer on how to make friends, go outside. Don't try to be friends with people based on their ethnic background, that should be irrelevant.
 
DOWN

DOWN

Banned
shoplifter said:
That did not seem clear to me. It sounded to me that OP wants to be friends with X, Y, and Z not because they have something in common or get along well but simply for the sake of having people of many different cultures as friends/acquaintances.
Click to expand...
You interpreted me enjoying my diversely populated job as enjoying a checklist and not the actual exchanges and enrichment I get from the people I work with? Because the latter is what I intended to convey
 
A

ant_

not characteristic of ants at all
OP - Try out meetup.com.

I've been signed up for a while but just recently started going to meetups. Have met a lot of people. It's been a lot of fun and I plan to continue going. I see plenty of males & females at the meetups I go to.
 
D

D i Z

Member
If possible, go to places where there is more diversity to be found. Sounds stupid, but I'll be more often than not people have this particular problem when they don't actually wander of the beaten path much.Try that theater across town. Go out more for ethnic foods in ethnically diverse areas. Hit up a different type of club. Whatever you're into, try doing it in places where others with differing background do these things also. Be social in this places, or at least comfortable enough in your own skin just being there. I realize that all really depends on there actually being areas of diversity to go to, but it kind of is the realest and most genuine way to go about it.
College and sports are the easiest ways to go about this, but if that's of the books then a little exploration is in order.
 
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