Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
My mother is a double talker. Quite often during my childhood she would say one thing, and then later act as if she didn't know what someone was talking about when they brought it up later, take an opposed view, or dodge certain subjects. It was impossible to know if she had changed her mind, didn't know what she was talking about either in the first place or the second, and it generally left most of my siblings with the knowledge that some of the things she said just had to be dismissed as bullshit.
For instance: my mom, for probably the first 10 years of my life told me that my dad was part Sioux. Then one day her story changed, it became "well, maybe he's indian, I'm not sure." And later on "I don't know what you're talking about, I never said anything like that." My dad, for reasons not relevant to this discussion, wasn't in our lives, and I was basically not allowed to even attempt to contact him, so I could never just ask him about it to find out what the truth was.
Every once in a while though, my mom would say something that sounded like her regular crap, but would turn out to be true, and this made it hard to know when exactly to let things that she said fly by without giving them any thought. And now I've begun to wonder about one of those things.
When I was about 17, my mom started to go to some social gatherings where the people in attendance had a habit of hugging each other. Our family never really did a lot of hugging, hugs were basically only for relatives, and typically only those whom we hadn't seen in about a month or longer. At first when I went to the get togethers I resisted hugging people that I barely knew, but it came to a point where I saw that it was expected under the circumstance and got used to the idea.
Then after my mom hosted one of these little events, after all the guests had left my mom came up to me and said with an odd kind of glee in here eyes "that lady in red was smashing he boobies into you!" I found this entire statement to be odd for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that, so far as I could tell, it was just a regular hug. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed that women's breasts are just attached to their front sides, and if you give a woman a hug you're going to have contact with them. I immediately filed this under "irrelevant drivel from mom" and thought I'd never think about it again.
As time went on though, we kept seeing this person, and my mom kept bringing up what she seemed to think was some special effort on the part of this woman to physically flirt with me, and eventually I had a realization: I don't have a lot of experience hugging people, and that lack of experience may mean that I'm missing something that is apparent to others. But, soon I moved out, stopped having contact with the group of huggers, and resumed my habit of not hugging anybody. The issue dissolved into memory.
That is until about two weeks ago. I've been taking part in what could be described as professional get togethers for a while now. I don't really go in with the intent to socialize ever, so I don't really physically interact with the other people there beyond smiling and waving when I say hello. Two weeks ago though gifts were expected to be exchanged, and when I gave one lady her gift she decided to hug me.
My personal moratorium on hugging of non family members has softened in recent years, so I did the same thing I do for hand shakes: match the intensity and pressure of the person opposite. She used one arm, I used one arm. She used moderate pressure, I used moderate pressure. Since she engaged the hug, I let her decide the length of it. Comparing that hug with the few other hugs I saw exchanged with the gifts, everything seemed to be normal. Somehow, though, it just seemed a little different than other hugs I've received lately. But, I thought to myself, a hug is a hug, and went on to other thoughts. Later, though, I remembered what my mom used to say whenever we saw that woman at her get to togethers; I remembered her implication that sometimes a hug isn't just a hug, and is an attempt at fondling someone with your breasts. Again I set that thought aside, my mom was just full of shit, right?
This week though was the last of these get togethers for the year. I don't really know why, but it being the last of the year resulted in a round of hugging for most of the people there. Again this woman hugged me, and again it seemed that maybe she was pressing he breasts into me. The problem with that thought though is that, well, how else do you hug someone? The mechanics of it are pretty simple, and even with my limited experience I can't think of or remember any different way you can do it: arms grasp each other, shoulders and upper torsos come together.
This wouldn't be an issue, but under the circumstances it would be inappropriate if this was trying to make a physical advance, and since I have this idea rattling around in my head I can't help but think I need to let this person know that I'm not interested and that she should stop. But part of me still feels that there's nothing to this, and if that part is right I don't want to put my foot in my mouth and bring up something that I'm imagining with this person.
So hugging GAF, am I being fondled or is this nothing?
For instance: my mom, for probably the first 10 years of my life told me that my dad was part Sioux. Then one day her story changed, it became "well, maybe he's indian, I'm not sure." And later on "I don't know what you're talking about, I never said anything like that." My dad, for reasons not relevant to this discussion, wasn't in our lives, and I was basically not allowed to even attempt to contact him, so I could never just ask him about it to find out what the truth was.
Every once in a while though, my mom would say something that sounded like her regular crap, but would turn out to be true, and this made it hard to know when exactly to let things that she said fly by without giving them any thought. And now I've begun to wonder about one of those things.
When I was about 17, my mom started to go to some social gatherings where the people in attendance had a habit of hugging each other. Our family never really did a lot of hugging, hugs were basically only for relatives, and typically only those whom we hadn't seen in about a month or longer. At first when I went to the get togethers I resisted hugging people that I barely knew, but it came to a point where I saw that it was expected under the circumstance and got used to the idea.
Then after my mom hosted one of these little events, after all the guests had left my mom came up to me and said with an odd kind of glee in here eyes "that lady in red was smashing he boobies into you!" I found this entire statement to be odd for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that, so far as I could tell, it was just a regular hug. The more I thought about it, the more it seemed that women's breasts are just attached to their front sides, and if you give a woman a hug you're going to have contact with them. I immediately filed this under "irrelevant drivel from mom" and thought I'd never think about it again.
As time went on though, we kept seeing this person, and my mom kept bringing up what she seemed to think was some special effort on the part of this woman to physically flirt with me, and eventually I had a realization: I don't have a lot of experience hugging people, and that lack of experience may mean that I'm missing something that is apparent to others. But, soon I moved out, stopped having contact with the group of huggers, and resumed my habit of not hugging anybody. The issue dissolved into memory.
That is until about two weeks ago. I've been taking part in what could be described as professional get togethers for a while now. I don't really go in with the intent to socialize ever, so I don't really physically interact with the other people there beyond smiling and waving when I say hello. Two weeks ago though gifts were expected to be exchanged, and when I gave one lady her gift she decided to hug me.
My personal moratorium on hugging of non family members has softened in recent years, so I did the same thing I do for hand shakes: match the intensity and pressure of the person opposite. She used one arm, I used one arm. She used moderate pressure, I used moderate pressure. Since she engaged the hug, I let her decide the length of it. Comparing that hug with the few other hugs I saw exchanged with the gifts, everything seemed to be normal. Somehow, though, it just seemed a little different than other hugs I've received lately. But, I thought to myself, a hug is a hug, and went on to other thoughts. Later, though, I remembered what my mom used to say whenever we saw that woman at her get to togethers; I remembered her implication that sometimes a hug isn't just a hug, and is an attempt at fondling someone with your breasts. Again I set that thought aside, my mom was just full of shit, right?
This week though was the last of these get togethers for the year. I don't really know why, but it being the last of the year resulted in a round of hugging for most of the people there. Again this woman hugged me, and again it seemed that maybe she was pressing he breasts into me. The problem with that thought though is that, well, how else do you hug someone? The mechanics of it are pretty simple, and even with my limited experience I can't think of or remember any different way you can do it: arms grasp each other, shoulders and upper torsos come together.
This wouldn't be an issue, but under the circumstances it would be inappropriate if this was trying to make a physical advance, and since I have this idea rattling around in my head I can't help but think I need to let this person know that I'm not interested and that she should stop. But part of me still feels that there's nothing to this, and if that part is right I don't want to put my foot in my mouth and bring up something that I'm imagining with this person.
So hugging GAF, am I being fondled or is this nothing?
