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Familial Racism (and other prejudices) and Goddamn Excuses

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Dali

Member
I've mentioned this before but my parents were both kinda anti white people when I was growing up. My dad's first wife was white and 2 of my siblings as a result of that marriage are half white and my own mom while claiming black looks pretty indistinguishably white (or at least "foreign" as people have described her a few times). They'd say stuff like "don't bring home any devils" or just pretty much steer me away from white people in general. I never paid it any mind. I've always been attracted to people that look familiar to me so, sorry mom and pop. They were never really hard core though. I never had any serious reservations about bringing someone white home (or maybe I just gave zero fucks). My mom had a heart to heart with me once years ago saying essentially "if all black men go for anything but black women then who is there for black women?" So maybe that's where her don't bring home devils comments were coming from. This is mostly in the past though. Between me and my siblings behavior I think they realize we're gonna do what we want and there's a good chance that means not black so they've not really openly said stuff like that in a while.


Also my dad is a conspiracy theorist so of course those goddamn Jews are always controlling our minds through the media.

So I guess all I can offer to the op is grow thicker skin, give less fucks, and leave when you can. I respectfully listened to shit for years and now my dad doesn't feel the same way about gay people as he used to. He came around in his own time as did I.
 

Two Words

Member
I have a couple of family members like this. I just candidly tell them how much their remarks make disappointed in them and tell them it is an issue that will make me want to lose connection with them.
 

TCRS

Banned
racism is the hierarchization of races and saying that chinese can't drive is putting then hierarchically bellow other races in matters of driving

quod erat demonstrandum

so then there is such a thing as racism that is not malicious? either that or you're simply using the wrong word. besides I don't think driving is a racial thing in the first place, it's more cultural. it's not something inherent, it has more to do with the driving and traffic culture of china from which this stereotype is derived.
 

StayDead

Member
"are not racist and just telling it like it is

I get this from my family sometimes and it's even worse with my step family, or more specifically my step mum. Her family is originally from Uzbekistan but she identifies as Russian still for some reason and she moved to Israel when she was 20 when her parents moved to get out of the USSR and hopefully lead a better life. The stuff that comes out of her mouth is just sheer bile and it's awful to listen to. I only just recently moved in with her, but I asked her after we had a discussion about Palestine and why I think it's wrong what Israel is doing and she got upset about it that we never talk about anything political again. I'm not going to be able to change her and I'm not going to even attempt to. If she wants to hold those stupid views that's not my problem. I've just gotta make sure my 5 year old little sister doesn't pick up that stuff from my Dad (who can be pretty bad when he wants to be) and her Mum, because I'm not gonna sit back and allow my little sister get like that.

My step brother is 15 and he doesn't share any of the same opinions my step mum does, infact he said most young people in Israel feel that what their government is doing is wrong. Maybe there is hope that eventually racism will be less and less of a problem.
 
Wind them the fuck up, if they were my parents Id say shit like

"I'd be ashamed if you were my children"

Or

"How do you feel about your views becoming increasingly irrelevant?"

Get a job as well, that'll really piss them off.

As for your brother, just get really hench and then beat the shit out of him.
 

whytemyke

Honorary Canadian.
The only solution is for you to move out.

Or write a counterfeit will that leaves you the house, send them on a trip and cut the brake lines. Yes. Yes that will work quite nicely...
 

makeemsayuhjr

Neo Member
Racism is the belief that one race is superior to another. In this case, a white person saying Asians can't drive would imply that whites as a whole are superior drivers which indeed would be racist. Of course Chinese is an ethnicity but we don't have a convenient label for that so racism is still the label used.

The official definition, for those still confused.

What about white people can't dance? I see that one thrown around all the time, even here.
 

Zornack

Member
You'll never change their minds. Just dive in and try to out racist them, see if you can get the discussion to such an absurd level that they'll have to question it themselves.
 

PillarEN

Member
You can't really do much. Just ride it out. Eventually you'll go to college or get a job that allows you to move away. Seeing as your family isn't saying these things in a joking or ironic way it's fair to say they won't budge. If you want to keep at it though it might be worth trying the approach of simply saying "that's inappropriate", "c'mon now" or other little phrases that simply gnaw at the person without being confrontational.
You can be proud that you are thinking for yourself and not mindlessly following in their footsteps. I know that doesn't mean much but hey many times the surrounding environment is incredibly influential so take it as a small victory.
 

DroidDev

Neo Member
I never really saw the point in going out of my way to try and tell other people what to believe when they clearly aren't capable or aren't willing to listen. If my reasoning just won't get through to them, winning the argument has no appeal beyond a simple ego boost.

You're just wasting your time.

This is basically the way I see it as well. I feel like for a lot of people there is an innate desire to hold family, because they will be seen for most of one's life, to a higher moral standard.

However, if you've already made your views known and explained your reasoning, I see no reason to continue pressing the issue. In fact, if you are bringing the issue up frequently, it may be compounding the problem. Your family may see it as an attack on their character, which causes them to lash back out at you with an attack on your character (i.e. not having a job). Your emotional energy and compassion is better spent elsewhere.
 

hipbabboom

Huh? What did I say? Did I screw up again? :(
A friend of mine said he doesn't say anything when his grand parents say racist things because they're old and they're from a different time. His passiveness has let some of that racism seep into him.
 

ZeroFate

Member
However, if you've already made your views known and explained your reasoning, I see no reason to continue pressing the issue. In fact, if you are bringing the issue up frequently, it may be compounding the problem. Your family may see it as an attack on their character, which causes them to lash back out at you with an attack on your character (i.e. not having a job). Your emotional energy and compassion is better spent elsewhere.

Um... yeah, this is kinda bull and goes both ways. His family knows his views and still continuously spouts racist/bigoted crap and the burdens on HIM to not "bring up the issue"? yeahok.gif
 
so then there is such a thing as racism that is not malicious? either that or you're simply using the wrong word. besides I don't think driving is a racial thing in the first place, it's more cultural. it's not something inherent, it has more to do with the driving and traffic culture of china from which this stereotype is derived.
He understands the word perfectly fine. It's just that you aren't able to understand the connection between insulting one group as a whole in order to build up your own if the pint used seems "Minor". Racism is more than just screaming the N-word. American public education has done a massive disservice towards understanding the word and the implications behind it.
 
so then there is such a thing as racism that is not malicious? either that or you're simply using the wrong word. besides I don't think driving is a racial thing in the first place, it's more cultural. it's not something inherent, it has more to do with the driving and traffic culture of china from which this stereotype is derived.

Yes? I don't think that's very hard to understand. I mean the semantics of racism are not a simple subject but i don't think this strains the definition all that much. Racism waves in degrees of antagonistic intent, but it can also exist without any antagonist intent. I don't think the dudes and dudettes who paint themselves black during sinterklaas actually hate black guys but they are nevertheless taking part in a racist representation of black people.

And like backslash would say, asians being very good at math is an example of "positive" racism.
 

esms

Member
Damn, you guys are making me happy for having the family I have. Only racism I have in my family is my grandfather. He pretty much flat out hates black people, even though he had a Haitian and a Jamaican nurse while he was staying at my parents' house before he went to the nursing home.

He's a first generation American, too. You think he would get it.
 
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