No, for most side quests, there’s one member that usually has a bigger role in it in terms of the side quest story. So, for example in the Condor quest in Junon, Tifa and Cloud talk about the sky and both take the picture at the end. So doing that quest will have a positive outcome on your friendship with Tifa. Wether she was in your party or not during the quest.
Most people get Red because of how the game is set up, so you can either purposefully give all the members bad responses (except the one you want) for your first playthrough, or just play at your leisure and know that New Game Plus / Chapter Select make it very easy to get the result you want.
In my case, I had done all the sidequest up to that point, answered as best as I could and got Tifa for Chapter 8 & 12.
There’s also a alternate ending for the date (regular or intimate ending) so just having a higher affinity with someone won’t give you the best ending for the date.