LordKasual
Banned
OP being so passionate about how ugly he is leads me to believe that he's probably average at worst and is just suffering from some powerful depression/delusion
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I'm ugly
- Thread starter Flowmoney
- Start date
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
I'm ugly too, bro. Well, I think my face is ok. It's my body that is ugly.
Your not supposed to take it literally. It's basically people with bad attitudes will give off a bad vibes and people with good attitudes will give off good vibes, regardless of their appearance...unless they are a sociopath and are good at masking their intentions...
Littlefang
Member
To add onto everything else in this thread, I think taking good care of your skin is an important thing to do as well. Use moisturizer and try out products to clear up acne or skin imperfections. If your skin is too dry or greasy you should be trying to take care of that. Also make sure you're washing your bedding often.
rokkerkory
Member
Try to be healthier it might help ur skin if thats the issue. If not, get a nose job if thats the issue. Etc
I am sure there are ways to improve your looks OP.
I am sure there are ways to improve your looks OP.
Strangelove77
Member
Welcome to the club. I hope you're rich and/or charming as fuck.
TimeEffect
Member
I hear you OP. Im losing hair. My forehead gets bigger. Im defeated.
Put weight back on after fighting hard to lose so much of it. I can at least change that.
Put weight back on after fighting hard to lose so much of it. I can at least change that.
Fright Zone
Member
I have horrible cystic acne (which is not caused by hygiene, has no cure and lasts for months at a time, leaving scarring) and have been trying to convince myself it isnt as huge a deal as I think it is but your post has just reinforced my fears.
LordKasual
Banned
It's absolutely true. Having a good attitude wont make you not ugly, but it will absolutely make you more attractive.
If Steve Buscemi was a guy who behaved as ugly as he looks, then he would just be plain ugly, and might not have ever become such a good movie star.
Steve isn't even really ugly anyway. When he wanted to look clean, he cleaned up damn nice.
But most of the recent roles i can remember him in all involve him typecasted into an "ugly" character.
Mango Positive
Member
I'm pretty ugly and could stand to lose 40 pounds, but my wife has big boobs, the sex is good, my kid is cute, and the world keeps turning. Put some muscle on. You'll feel better, no matter what you believe today.
PixelatedBookake
Junior Member
At least you're not the ugly barnacle, OP. All jokes aside, "ugly" people (subjective) gotta focus on other things to make themselves stand out. Kind of like Batman.
I just want to emphasize this even more +++
Yea that's fair
adamsappel
Member
That sounds like you have body dysmorphia, or at least that you are not being realistic or objective about your looks. Are you fat? You can lose weight, and "having muscles" doesn't have to mean bulky, beefy slabs of meat, one can be really defined and lean, too.
I felt like I was ugly growing up but I grew into it. I look decent with a beard, also losing a 100lbs helped a ton. That said even in my ugly days I managed to get a few dates. Its all about the vibe you give off, believe it or not some people dont place any importance on appearance.
Your Best Amigo
Member
You should go and see a dermatologist and have them recommend Accutane or Roaccutane. Side effects may be unpleasant, but it worked wonders for my cystic acne.
Kingpin Rogers
Member
You should mention that it's not just about going to the gym and lifting weights, if you want actual results you need to go on a diet as well.
Fright Zone
Member
What were the side effects? Isnt that the stuff that made people suicidal?
I dont want to go near that stuff, Im depressed enough as it is.
Pestilence11
Member
You're almost always your worst critic. Those that are worse than you aren't worth anybody's time.
The most common side effects of Accutane are dry mouth/lips and nose bleeds. As someone who took it for six months back in high school, I never had any suicidal thoughts at all. But the side-effects do vary from person to person, so talking to your dermatologist about it is probably a good idea.
Littlefang
Member
I'm sorry my post wasn't meant to come across as being critically important to what makes a person attractive or not. It was more meant as an added thought because a lot of people don't think to put any extra effort into skincare.
I've got Rosacea so I am aware of what it's like to have a skin condition that is unpleasant aesthetically and does not have a cure. But just because something isn't curable, doesn't mean that you can't get treatment for it. Have you ever consulted with a dermatologist?
Danis Saur
Member
Truth is, we all feel conscious about our looks, even people who are good looking.
But you stop giving a damn about looks the older you get.
I'm 25 and I'm starting to not care how I look or what people think of me.
Also confidence is attractive. Accept who you are. You can still be a great person and have an amazing life, a partner, and friends, even if you look like the Hunchback of Notredame. Believe me.
But you stop giving a damn about looks the older you get.
I'm 25 and I'm starting to not care how I look or what people think of me.
Also confidence is attractive. Accept who you are. You can still be a great person and have an amazing life, a partner, and friends, even if you look like the Hunchback of Notredame. Believe me.
IAmAnAgnostic
Member
.
Last edited:
ITT i learned that you can't be Fat and good looking
gaf is very anti-fat. you can be good-looking! just don't show your pics here...
entremet
Member
Isnt he close to 70 now too? Not many people are dashing at that age.It's absolutely true. Having a good attitude wont make you not ugly, but it will absolutely make you more attractive.
If Steve Buscemi was a guy who behaved as ugly as he looks, then he would just be plain ugly, and might not have ever become such a good movie star.
Steve isn't even really ugly anyway. When he wanted to look clean, he cleaned up damn nice.
But most of the recent roles i can remember him in all involve him typecasted into an "ugly" character.
(And all the others here struggling with this)
OP, this post turned out long, but maybe my story can give you some hope:
I've had very bad self image issues OP. And I'm definitely no Tom Hanks now, but I've learned to accept myself. What a lot of people have said is true - work out (not necesarilly to get buff, just running a couple of times a week is enough to make you healthier and look better), eat healthy, dress in a way that looks good but still feels like you're yourself, etc. My main issue was very bad skin in my teens/early twenties. A lot of acne that led to some scarring. Those scars were the death of me, like you, I hated looking at myself in the mirror, I couldn't help looking at myself every time I passed a reflective surface (and immediately hating what I saw), being very uneasy in public. A bad time. There was some other stuff going on in my life then that feeded my depression, but through some professional help and a lot of self care I got through it. I'm nearing 30 now, and yes, I still have some scars in my face. Once, that felt like a life sentence of loneliness. Now, it's just a part of me. I think I actually look good on some days. Other days, I just look like a guy. And that's fine. And I'm in a long term relationship right now, living with the love of my life. And I was convinced, for years, I'd end up alone because of my looks. To illustrate how not-handsome I was: I've had plenty of people throughout my life comment/"joke" about my looks. And you know what? All of them: dicks. All of them: wrong. But I do know that pain, way too well.
The thing is: I've struggled with mental health on and off throughout the years, from my teens onwards. And at my worst, I would actively hate myself. I would feel as ugly inside as I thought I was outside. And I thought I was a monster outside. But the important part: in moments where I got my depression under control and felt happy about my life, I actually got dates and girlfriends. Pretty ones too! And I'm not trying to paint myself as some Casanova, I'm really not. I'm not the kind of guy who could, for instance, blindly approach a girl in the bar. Not nearly enough confidence for any of that. But when I wasn't so focused on myself and my looks, and when I would just have fun at parties and joke with my friends, more often than I ever thought possible some girl would express interest in me - someone I would think would be way out of my league. And we'd go on dates, which sometimes would lead to relationships, sometimes not. But even though I wasn't a 10/10 and never will be, those girls saw something in me. I know it sounds like a cliche that how you present yourself if you're just being yourself can make you 90% more attractive, but I'm living proof.
Hell, I remember a friend once (when I was in a very bad place) inviting me over to his house to watch a movie, revealing he'd set me up with a blind date with one of his friends I never met, and me hating everything about it at first. I hated him for putting me in that position, and especially for putting her in that position. So the first thing I said to her was "Sorry, I didn't know this was going to be a date. I honestly hate this, and I hope it's not too awkward for you." She just laughed, said the same thing, just hung out without pressure, and we actually ended up dating for about a year. It was an eye opening moment for me, because this happened in a time where I was convinced I was just disgusting to look at. But I was put in this bizarre, unexpected situation, forced to at least try and get through the night, and ended up by her inviting me to her place at the end of it and her sticking around for a year. So even when I was at my lowest, there was this honestly stunning girl who, when I was forced to lower my guard, saw something in me.
I'm not telling that story to tell you to go on 100 blind dates to solve this. I'm just telling you, even if you don't look nearly as good as a movie star, there are good people out there who just don't care. Everyone can be beautiful to anyone.
And this is all advise I'd get from people online (never confident enough to discuss this irl), and I rolled my eyes at it. Because it sounds like feel good nonsense. And they had no idea how ugly I was, because I was convinced I was the lowest of the low. Really.
But it's true. But you need to work on yourself. Ask yourself a question: imagine yourself in a year. Where do you want to be? This same spot, or somewhere better? Obviously you want the latter. You can keep staying in that vicious circle of self hating thoughts, but those are all thoughts you've already had. You know all that already. No point in staying in that place. I know it's easier said then done, but the only way forward is by actually taking some steps. Can't go anywhere if you're staying still.
Here are some practical things you can do. Even if you feel at your worst, try to push through. Even doing 1 or 2 things a day, without necesarilly seeing any immediate effects, will make you feel better after a while. See this period of your life as a period of change, with making this thread as your first step. And you will get through this period, and you can come out a happier person.
1. Buy a notebook. A nice one. Make a list about everything in your life that needs work. Be practical, factual. No emotions, just facts. I made some lists: work, study, family, friends, health, relationships, looks, etc. And for those I just made lists: where I was at, what I wanted to change, and all the steps needed to achieve that. I know it may sounds childish, but honestly, getting it all out of your head and onto paper solidifies it. It immediately gives you some sense of order. That helps a lot.
2. Make some time to find out about healthy meals. If you're overweight, or have bad skin, just google around for some stuff. Make a list of meals for a week, and make a nice big grocery list. It may feel like work, but that's fine. The other option is not to do it, but you already know what that's like. Self-improvement time.
3. Same thing with excercise. I just started running and cycling. And here's a thing I'll admit for you: I felt too awkward to do it out in the open, during the day. I didn't like people looking at me. So I just went very early in the morning or late at night, when it was still dark out. Paranoid perhaps, but at least I did it. And I got a double result: I felt mentally more at ease after a while (jogging during the day wasn't as scary for me anymore after a while), and doing it regularly made my skin look much better.
4. Same thing with all the other catagories: clothing, haircut, etc. Don't forget about being social, or doing things you enjoy. That's all part of being human, happy, and learning to enjoy yourself with others.
Again, I know all this may sound obvious and childish. But it works, and think of it this way: spending a few weeks/months working at it is better than not doing it. The only way to get results is by going for it. If you don't believe it'll have results for you (it will), at least giving it a shot is better than staying where you are. I've been there, and it's not a happy life.
Sorry for this long post. But I know your pain. Hopefully this helps a little bit. PM me if you want to talk. You can change. Things will get better. I promise. As one ugly guy to another - it's never, never a life sentence. Maybe we have to work twice as hard to achieve half of what the naturally beautiful get without effort, and maybe that's unfair, but fuck it - if it's important to you, just do it. And don't let it become an obsession, just make it a part of your daily life, and keep trying to stay happy and social. Results will come, I promise.
I was born in ugliness, molded by it.
There are very, very, very few truly ugly people in the world, and usually that is because of unfortunate things like facial disformity and the like.
I will tell you that I believed I was hideous my entire life, because people told me I was. I was bullied in high school, always called the ugliest girl, etc. But if I showed you a picture of me then, you would be surprised that I thought I was ugly.
I still struggle with it. As I get older and have had kids and various health problems to deal with, my self confidence continues to be an issue.
I will prove it you in pm if you like, as I don't publicly post pictures any longer, but you have to start trying to use more positive thinking to describe yourself or you could end up with dosphoria.
I will tell you that I believed I was hideous my entire life, because people told me I was. I was bullied in high school, always called the ugliest girl, etc. But if I showed you a picture of me then, you would be surprised that I thought I was ugly.
I still struggle with it. As I get older and have had kids and various health problems to deal with, my self confidence continues to be an issue.
I will prove it you in pm if you like, as I don't publicly post pictures any longer, but you have to start trying to use more positive thinking to describe yourself or you could end up with dosphoria.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. There is someone for everyone. I see guys around all the time that people would consider "unattractive" with some of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Looks are only part of the equation. Personality, confidence and style go a long fucking way my dude.
The Rain King
Member
This is marvelous.
Puck Beaverton
Banned
I have an ugly personality mixed in with average looks. That is no bueno.
Chin up OP, you are probably not the worst.
Chin up OP, you are probably not the worst.
This was a beautiful post, I am glad someone quoted it so that I could read it. I try to live my life as a worshipper of kindness ; its my religion at this point. Even though I still struggle with self esteem issues as I said, I have come to discover I am not truly ugly, and kindness went a long way to helping me with that.
It's because most people don't have a symmetrical face and when you look at yourself in the mirror every day you get used to your flipped image instead of your actual look. It's exact same thing with your own voice, where you hear yourself differently and if you once in a while hear a recording of yourself you're shocked.
Good way to combat this is to take daily selfies.
The Artisan
Member
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
How About No
Member
BoosterDuck
Banned
get a haircut, grow a beard and wear some fashionable eyeglasses
boom now you look decent
boom now you look decent
Cystic acne can be fixed by retinols/vitamin A, which is what Accutane contains.
Daily selfies, and making an effort to like what you see, is a good thing.
I actually just started a daily selfie Instagram today to document my struggle with autoimmune diseases and the way it constantly changes my looks. I am hoping it will help with my self esteem
SlickShoesRUCrazy
Member
Me too!
But it's alright!
But it's alright!