Yeah this is definitely a thing. That new Ghostbusters is kind of an interesting case here. I think a lot of the let's-be-conspicuously-positive-about-this-movie angle comes from people who are agnostic about its actual quality, who are just interested in seeing a ladies cast get a shot at this kind of movie. Which is a legitimate feeling to have and I recognize that, even if it's not a feeling I have. If the number of sci-fi / adventure movies starring a cast of women who are good at their job is basically zero, then the one you do get to see ends up graded on a curve. So people get territorial about it because there's a sense of "why would you try to take even this away from us who have nothing".
It's tough because of the systemic angle. We might think that the reason movies like the new Ghostbusters are so rare is that men have historically been (or have historically been perceived to be) uninterested in stories about women. So to then see a man say he's uninterested in this story about women would be, naturally, frustrating. Women put up with stories about men all the time, and it seems that men are less willing to put up with stories about women.
Having said all this, the attitude still sucks and it sucks to get dismissed as simply sexist even if you're coming in from a place of good faith. Because people usually don't try to articulate this but just roll eyes at the sexist knucklehead oblivious to his privilege. Which is a fair response, I suppose; it's not really fair to expect people to respond to every flip dismissal with a detailed explanation about the virtues of privilege-checking in a world where many people have demonstrated their disinterest in / unwillingness to seriously engage with these politics.
* I barely know anything about the new Ghostbusters. For all I know, maybe it'll be good / funny. I'm just running with it as a basically-hypothetical example.
Only seen this once. When some of us were like "Ugh I don't like Skyler in Breaking Bad".
The "Oh you don't like her because shes a woman!" stuff that followed was loud and overbearing. Super shocking. That's the only time I can recall interaction with it though.
This happened a lot with The Force Awakens, too. Critiquing it got tagged with some "it's the same in the old movie, you're only bothered by it now because Rey's a girl and Finn is black" ish.