By the way, how do you treat children accordingly when it comes to their gender? The only difference I would be aware of is based on biological differences (separate by sex for sports, for instance, or explaining issues about sexuality / body functions, which also differ by sex, not by gender).
Largely speaking, give the child the tools, let them experiment and do as they please. It's more about being open minded and letting them try things rather than being close minded and trying to choose for them. If you're talking activities you can give them options of what they could do as hobbies and see what they pick. The majority of kids will end up doing something their friends do, or something they've found themselves (through reading/school or what not). As in you do not need to be a total case of paranoia and angst that you give your child every single choice imaginable from knitting to pottery to paintballing and baseball. Varied choice within whatever financial/social and other constraints you face is just fine. There is merit in instilling in a kid early on life isn't always
fair (other people often end up doing things you might not be able to at that moment), and the value of money/finding happiness in what you do have/can do. Outside of the confines of this topic, there are very few things more problematic than parents that bring up a
genuinely spoiled, aggressive and dysfunctional 'brat'. Mostly because said child will develop into an adult that has great difficulty navigating adulthood and other social interactions. Every parent understandably wants to tell their child(ren) they are special, can achieve anything and to be as confident as possible. There is merit in straddling the lines of reality though, and productively helping your child understand you do not always get what you want in life and how to productively handle that. Sometimes it may mean understanding why, trying again or doing something else. It often does not mean kicking, screaming, shouting, name-calling and going into moods. Children that do not get helped realise that either through fair and responsible discipline or educational and genuine explanation/reasoning often turn into adults with serious baggage. A complete offshoot of this overall discussion, but it's something you routinely see that ends up producing some of the most bratty and dysfunctional teenagers (half the trolls out there no doubt!) or adults that do not know
how to life as adult life is the biggest example of "you do not always get what you want when you want it".
As is the case with most gender norms, a part of it can tie back to male brains being a bit different, on average, than female brains. A lot of psychological observation and testing goes on with children and toys. At young ages, it can be shown that gender preferences exist
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/07/160715114739.htm /
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...4/why-do-boys-and-girls-prefer-different-toys It's not about trying to obsessively deconstruct such findings as myths or problematic (which again is partly why I do not like a focus on trying to eradicate 'sex'. Truth, honesty, facts and evidence matter more to me, and it's how people deal with them). It's about allowing your individual child to experiment and play how they want, and not suppressing them if you have a child that is an outlier or a child that shows they are rejecting gender norms of their biological sex. Before anyone jumps the gun, no, that does not mean you have a trans kid in the making. That's part of the variations of being human. Said variations are NOT diagnosed as medical conditions, but healthy variation. Gender dysphoria IS a medical condition. Many kids will have varying levels of masculinity and femininity regardless of their sex. Hence why productive and nurturing parenting means to accept that at an early age.
By all means, if anyone wants to talk about actual babies, often it's part of the "fun" parents choose blue for boys and pink for girls (as well as matching accessories/clothing). That's not instantly sinister and oppressive. What's important is as the child develops and starts moving on from being an actual baby (walking/talking/picking things up/experimenting) that you give them a wide free range and ability to experiment. Then when they're at an even older age and are asking for their own toys, what they want to do, who they want to play with and so on that you let them do so to the best of your abilities. In other words, yes, it's your choice if you want to completely nuke all gender conforming colours/toys and baby products, and there's no evidence to show that will be harmful (that I know of). Equally though, if a set of parents have a baby girl and want to get all magical/pretty and so on, at such a young age it's not exactly harmful either. As I just said above it's more about the actual parenting and nurturing as the baby starts to develop. If your girl/boy does choose stereotypical gender conforming toys and experiences, I would say, irrespective of your views as an adult, it COULD be harmful if you spend more time trying to demand they see that as "learned oppression" rather than what can be the simplest explanation at times ~ You have a boy that likes boys toys/often male orientated activities, or a girl that likes girls toys and likes often female orientated activities. In saying everything I said above it works both ways (to allow them to play as they want means to play as they want), your children shouldn't be used as pawns for your own social/ideological views, even if you think you're on the side of righteous activism.
