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Gay Honor student cant wear tux to prom. "Girls wear dresses and boys wear tuxes"

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Sanjuro

Member
I believe more schools should be following a stricter dress code and guidelines for their classes. That could roll over into a prom dress code, but this doesn't seem to be in the same spirit.
 

spekkeh

Banned
I really don't think this is a big part of the prom tradition. When I went to prom, there were multiple people who couldn't afford tuxes and just showed in button down and tie.
Yeah I don't know how this school goes about these things. I kind of presumed they were very strict given the way they think tradition is enough justification for women to wear a dress. If they already bend the rules for less wealthy children not to arrive in black tie, they might as well allow others to dress up differently too, as long as they're somewhat festive and formally dressed.

My school didn't have a prom in the first place, so I'm just going by American high school comedies.
 

Suikoguy

I whinny my fervor lowly, for his length is not as great as those of the Hylian war stallions
Yeah I'm not a big tradition kind of guy for the same reason. But presumably the vast majority of kids like the idea of a prom and an excuse to dress up in formal attire. It's also not nice if someone wants to do away with this tradition (and you could wonder how hurt she really is). Traditions lose their lustre when they become optional.

I'm not arguing against the dress code, I'm arguing against the dress code being applied to gender.

If someone wanted to go to the prom with a t-shirt and shorts, they should not be allowed to attend.
 

Tigress

Member
Yeah I'm not a big tradition kind of guy for the same reason. But presumably the vast majority of kids like the idea of a prom and an excuse to dress up in formal attire. It's also not nice if someone wants to do away with this tradition (and you could wonder how hurt she really is). Traditions lose their lustre when they become optional.

Not my school. We refused to even call ours a prom cause f that sh** (it was specifically not called prom specifically cause we wanted it to be a statement against that kind of BS in our opinion). We called it the bash and made it a point that if you wanted to dress up great. But you could wear whatever the hell you wanted cause f tradition and f forcing people to dress up formally just, well, we really didn't see the point in forcing some one to dress up in some way if they didn't want to (What benefit does it really have for a function that is supposed to be fun for everyone to force some people to be uncomfortable in dress they didn't really find fun to be in). Plenty of people still dressed up for it (I admit I did at least once though I also enjoyed some years doing the spirit of dress however I want). Oh yeah, and it wasn't just seniors only (my school put a lot of emphasis on not trying to be exclusionary to people).

And it was a big event and plenty of kids dressed up for it cause they wanted to and they wanted to feel special and pretty. And would get limos to the Bash or bring out special cars they got to drive (seniors driving cars that were graduation gifts for example). But it wasn't looked down on if you didn't want to. And it wasn't a big deal to anyone that some people chose not to. It didn't ruin their night or make it less special.

But I was lucky enough to be in a private school that originally was started by hippies (and had turned into a yuppie school honestly and most the students were kinda upper class except the token ones given scholarships so the school could feel good about itself that it wasn't just excluding poor people <- I really think they had good intentions but in general because it was a private school and it wasn't cheap the only poorer people who got in were through scholarships and in general most the student body were from at least well in the middle class families).

Honestly, I think my school and student body had the better idea than this idea that it's fun to force everyone to dress up for some event. It's supposed to be a fun event that you remember and is special. But how is it special to make people feel uncomfortable?
 

Yaboosh

Super Sleuth
Yes and no, I mean decorum is innately silly. Personally I would have let her wear the damn tux, but there are a number of reasons why the school would want to enforce it anyway (apart from it being silly in the first place of course). For instance, they might not want to have funny guys ruin the decorum by showing up in a dress, and if you don't allow guys to gender bender, it would be sexism to allow girls to do it. Similarly, these proms are obviously modeled after balls of the European high society, to give it that certain cachet, and the dress code are already incredibly lax in comparison, to the point of missing out on the decorum. Try coming to the Vienna Opernball wearing a black bowtie, you'd be removed, ostracized and a shame for everyone, never mind wearing anything out side of gender norms.
waxing_blog_wien_opernball%20%281%29.jpg


There's etiquette for certain white dinner jackets not being allowed above the Mason-Dixon latitude line, and this girl is going to balk about having to wear a dress? I mean seriously, get some perspective and choose your battles. You're being forced to wear something? That's the point.


This is a particularly funny post given the reality of what prom in America is. A bunch of drunk and horny teenagers humping each other to Rhianna on the dance floor.
 

Suikoguy

I whinny my fervor lowly, for his length is not as great as those of the Hylian war stallions
Thanks The Sarcastic Dude for reminding me society still has a ways to go.

Oh, and for adding so much to the thread.
 

poppabk

Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
I'm not arguing against the dress code, I'm arguing against the dress code being applied to gender.

If someone wanted to go to the prom with a t-shirt and shorts, they should not be allowed to attend.
Why not?
 

PInk Tape

Banned
It has probably been mentioned already but tuxedos fall into the same category as dresses: formal wear. This student wouldn't be breaking dress code at all. Also, a girl wearing a tuxedo isn't hurting anybody; she should be allowed to wear it.

Plus, she has the right to feel comfortable and to be herself for this dance.
 

Suikoguy

I whinny my fervor lowly, for his length is not as great as those of the Hylian war stallions
It has probably been mentioned already but tuxedos fall into the same category as dresses: formal wear. This student wouldn't be breaking dress code at all. Also, a girl wearing a tuxedo isn't hurting anybody; she should be allowed to wear it.

Plus, she has the right to feel comfortable and to be herself for this dance.

Exactly,

Plus, there is a logic to having a minimum required level of dress. It adds a level of professionalism and seriousness to the proceedings. Although, as others have pointed out, even with the formal requirement, it may be a stretch to call it serious and professional.
 

Llyranor

Member
She will represent the school at the annual Scholars' Banquet, an event for the top students in Ouachita Parish.
If she does bother attending this at all, I hope she wears a suit/tux and embarrasses the school.
 

Koppai

Member
Everyone should rally behind her. The guys should show up in dresses, and the girls in tuxedos. Who cares about the stupid staff.
 

Kinsei

Banned

She is adhering to the dress code though. The problem is that once the school caught wind of her planning to wear a tux, they freaked the fuck out due to their backwards views on gender.

No one is advocating for her to show up to a formal event in a t-shirt and shorts, but to be allowed to wear the formal clothes (as outlined in the dress code) of her choosing.
 

RM8

Member
Wow at the "let's preserve this tradition because it is a tradition" crowd. Man, she doesn't want to wear a clown costume, she wants to wear what half of the people there will wear. How come this affects anyone!? Why do some people care so much?
 
This is a terrible article, mainly because we've heard the girl's family and the School Board super, but not from the principal himself.

Show the media the contract/agreement where this supposed prom dress code was supposed to be enforced, or let her wear a tux.

It's her day. It's the students' day. Who gives two shits about the teachers? Boo hoo, It's not their prom.

Now, her and her friends have to miss prom because of this bullshit prom dress code. They are still dressing formally.
 
Tux is formal wear, which would mean she is absolutely following whatever stupid ass dress codes and traditions they have. Telling her she suddenly can't wear said established formal wear because of her gender is absolutely some backwards, backwoods bullshit.
 

MattKeil

BIGTIME TV MOGUL #2
Traditional dress codes purely define the types of clothing acceptable for wear at an event, and say nothing about assigning those clothing types to particular gender. As long as the student in question is wearing clothing that fits the code, it doesn't matter which gender they are. If the school is indeed claiming "girls must wear dresses, boys must wear tuxes," that is an invention of the school, not the way formal dress works in society.

As for all the "rules is rules" people...rules are useless without the wisdom to know how and when they should apply.
 

poppabk

Cheeks Spread for Digital Only Future
Because the dress code is formal.
What defines formal other than tradition though? It used to be that a jacket and tie would be required for a man at an upscale restaurant, now it is fairly loose. A doublet and tights used to be formal wear for men in the past, but you go to a job interview like that and I don't think they will accept that.
It's all arbitrary rules, let's not pretend otherwise.
 

Brakke

Banned
Ehh prom is for squares. Tell your folks you're going, borrow the family's good car, take your date to makeout point and bone up a storm like the rest of the cool kids do on prom night.
 

neshcom

Banned
There's literally no reason to defend the on-the-spot "rule" simply because of tradition. Her being allowed to wear a tux affects no one but the insecure adults who'd judge and disenfranchise a child (whether because of her gender, race, or sexuality) isntead of acting like adults. This isn't a case of a student wanting to be a special snowflake--a lovingly disguised way of marginalizing anyone who is atypical--but of adults being overly pedantic at best, bigots at worst.

Wonder if the ACLU is aware of this. I'm really rooting for her to attend prom in a tux. Janelle Monae their punk asses.
 

Shaanyboi

Banned
The issue should be why they have such an arbitrary dress code.
To be fair, they don't. They made this rule up on the spot, and is not part of the school board's broader policy.

I can't believe the extent to which people are defending this school's bullshit restriction. She is choosing to wear a tux because that's the outfit she'd feel most comfortable in. A tux is formal wear. There is nothing obscene, uncouth, or "classless" about a woman wearing a tux. There is no valid reason for the school to deny her this.
 

spekkeh

Banned
Wonder if the ACLU is aware of this. I'm really rooting for her to attend prom in a tux. Janelle Monae their punk asses.

What makes you think ACLU gives a hoot about a girl in smalltown USA not wanting to abide by a prom dress code for no real reason whatsoever? She might have a (slightly contentious) cause if she was transgender, but now she basically wants a preferential treatment because she's gay. Of course you can debate the merits of a strict dress code for a school dance in the first place, and I'd be the first to agree with you, but that's not for ACLU.
 

Shaanyboi

Banned
What makes you think ACLU gives a hoot about a girl in smalltown USA not wanting to abide by a prom dress code for no real reason whatsoever? She might have a (slightly contentious) cause if she was transgender, but now she basically wants a preferential treatment because she's gay. Of course you can debate the merits of a strict dress code for a school dance in the first place, and I'd be the first to agree with you, but that's not for ACLU.
There's nothing "preferential" if we're talking about a made-up policy.
 

neshcom

Banned
What makes you think ACLU gives a hoot about a girl in smalltown USA not wanting to abide by a prom dress code for no real reason whatsoever? She might have a (slightly contentious) cause if she was transgender, but now she basically wants a preferential treatment because she's gay. Of course you can debate the merits of a strict dress code for a school dance in the first place, and I'd be the first to agree with you, but that's not for ACLU.

She doesn't want preferential treatment because she's gay, she want to abide by the formal dress code as a woman. You and the newspaper put her lesbianism as motivation. And for the ACLU, they've got pages dedicated to students' rights, and LGBT students' rights, so I think they could have some guidance, like freedom of expression, for instance.

Why do you think a woman wanting to wear a suit in accordance with the dress code is such an offense that it needs a reason?
 

spekkeh

Banned
What makes you think it's in accordance to the dress code? Seems like the main point is that it isn't. If it is then I fully agree of course, but it kind of feels like a big presumption on your case.
 

Razmos

Member
What makes you think it's in accordance to the dress code? Seems like the main point is that it isn't. If it is then I fully agree of course, but it kind of feels like a big presumption on your case.
Because it's been repeated over and over in this thread already that the dress code is simply "formal" and doesn't specify gender, or didn't, until they made it up on the spot when she decided she was going in a tuxedo.
 

neshcom

Banned
What makes you think it's in accordance to the dress code? Seems like the main point is that it isn't. If it is then I fully agree of course, but it kind of feels like a big presumption on your case.

She wants to wear a tux and women wearing tuxes is not abnormal. Again, what is the harm in her wanting to wear a tux that it needs a reason? You say you'd be for getting rid of a strict dress code, but a non-strict dress code would allow for this.
 

spekkeh

Banned
But where did you get this from?
Formal is not strictly a dress code by the way, it's a grouping. Anyone of these dress codes make a distinction between gentlemen and ladies clothing.
 

spekkeh

Banned
She wants to wear a tux and women wearing tuxes is not abnormal. Again, what is the harm in her wanting to wear a tux that it needs a reason? You say you'd be for getting rid of a strict dress code, but a non-strict dress code would allow for this.
It's not unusual (is it? Suits okay, but tuxedos? in any case) but it isn't allowed in e.g. a black tie dress code. Whether the institution wants to enforce it or not is another matter. I don't think proms should enforce strict dress codes, in fact I think it's pretty ludicrous for a high school, but that's just my opinion. You come to a black tie party without a black tie (or gown for ladies) they can deny you if they want. Has nothing to do with freedom of expression.
 

Siegcram

Member
But where did you get this from?
Formal is not strictly a dress code by the way, it's a grouping. Anyone of these dress codes make a distinction between gentlemen and ladies clothing.
We've had several examples throughout this thread, ranging from personal experience to Hollywood red carpets through multiple decades, all confirming that a woman in a tux or suit is nothing revolutionary or unheard of at a formal event.

And for what it's worth, I have seen dozens of wedding invitations during my days in catering and not one of them specified gender-particular clothing.
 

neshcom

Banned
It's not unusual (is it? Suits okay, but tuxedos? in any case) but it isn't allowed in e.g. a black tie dress code. Whether the institution wants to enforce it or not is another matter. I don't think proms should enforce strict dress codes, in fact I think it's pretty ludicrous for a high school, but that's just my opinion. You come to a black tie party without a black tie (or gown for ladies) they can deny you if they want. Has nothing to do with freedom of expression.

But there's no reason for it to not be allowed, it's gender-based discrimination. It's a school, a public institution. We'd be having a different discussion if it was a private club.
 

kamineko

Does his best thinking in the flying car
Gee whiz. People always complain about the left being too sensitive. If a woman in a suit can ruin your night, life is going to be a rough ride for you.

They made up a rule specifically to dictate one student's behavior. This isn't the debutante ball, and, I mean, it's Monroe, Louisiana. It's not exactly a "never wear white after Labor Day" kind of town. Lol at all this "science of dress codes" talk.
 

Wazzy

Banned
The fact people are trying to defend this bullshit with "b-b-but it's tradition!" is pathetic.

Something being tradition doesn't mean it's acceptable.
 

hateradio

The Most Dangerous Yes Man
It's the equivalent of plugging your ears and going "lalalalala". The year it is has no bearing on anything, and saying "we should" is a lot different than "we are"
Time has no bearing on anything?

Rules are made and changed all the time. A rule can be created this moment but that same rule may not apply 100 years from now. Rules are also instituted for a multitude of reasons, arbitrary or otherwise.

This high school rule was probably implemented during the mid century. More than 60 years later, do you think it should still apply?

Personally, I don't think formal dress is out of fashion, but tuxes apply under that umbrella and have existed in women's sizes for a century, too.

If she wants to wear a tux, she should.
 

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
Time has no bearing on anything?

Rules are made and changed all the time. A rule can be created this moment but that same rule may not apply 100 years from now. Rules are also instituted for a multitude of reasons, arbitrary or otherwise.

This high school rule was probably implemented during the mid century. More than 60 years later, do you think it should still apply?

Personally, I don't think formal dress is out of fashion, but tuxes apply under that umbrella and have existed in women's sizes for a century, too.

If she wants to wear a tux, she should.

????????????

you're replying to something that isnt what i said at all.


i said just because the year is 2015 doesnt mean something should automatically have progressed past a certain point. It is confirmation bias to point to isolated cases of progression and say that it is indicative of a whole when the truth is quite literally the opposite.
 

Firework

Banned
In a school that has a failing school performance score, Love is one of the academic superstars. She will represent the school at the annual Scholars' Banquet, an event for the top students in Ouachita Parish.

Ha, she should totally not go to this. Why represent a school that doesn't give a shit about you?
 

Dryk

Member
For instance, they might not want to have funny guys ruin the decorum by showing up in a dress, and if you don't allow guys to gender bender, it would be sexism to allow girls to do it.
I like to think that people would be understanding of the reality of current society, where it far more acceptable for a woman to wear a suit than a man to wear a dress. If an event wants to draw the line there because of that I wouldn't really hold it against them even though I hope one day it's no longer a problem.
 

JDSN

Banned
Yes and no, I mean decorum is innately silly. Personally I would have let her wear the damn tux, but there are a number of reasons why the school would want to enforce it anyway (apart from it being silly in the first place of course). For instance, they might not want to have funny guys ruin the decorum by showing up in a dress, and if you don't allow guys to gender bender, it would be sexism to allow girls to do it.

This is a very nice variation to that argument about dude pretending to be trans to perv into women's bathrooms, the hypothetical people that your mind has created is responsible for their own damn self, she doesnt have to suffer because of slippery slope mentalities.
 

Horse Detective

Why the long case?
It is weird how people categorize this with wanting to wear denim to a formal event.

It is a gender specific rule. I don't understand what is so hard to grasp about that being outdated.
 

Kite

Member
I would have no issue if she has gender dysphoria and identifies as a man and wants to wear male clothing. But she is just gay.. she identifies as a woman.. so she has to follow the formal women's dress code. The end. You don't get to swap just cus you feel like it. It would have been nice when I was in the Army to be able to follow the female hair grooming standards cus buzz cuts are boring.
 
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