ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Have you ever fought a goose?
Yes. They are paranoid biting assholes.
Have you ever fought a goose?
Exactly,
Everyone who gets attacked by a goose, runs. Are they viscous? Sure. But if i fight back they have no chance of survival.
nice to have some pleasant news for a change though.
Yeah, I know. I said that in my post. Thanks thoughYou've never been attacked by a goose.
because I don't want to hurt it? It's just a dumb animal. I think it's illegal too.
Because despite the goose probably needing to be put in it's place, most of us don't enjoy randomly injuring animals if we really don't need to?
Especially not when they're likely territorial because they're looking after eggs.
Kick it with the other one. Defend yourself foolWhat if it grabs my leg?
Exactly,
Everyone who gets attacked by a goose, runs. Are they viscous? Sure. But if i fight back they have no chance of survival.
Back when I was on the grounds crew at the Johnson Space Center, a goose got into a building that was under construction and decided to set up shop, causing the construction workers an insane amount of hell whenever they would try to work. Because I have a background in wild animal removal, the task fell to me to corral the fucking thing.
This building had no glass windows at the time, and the openings where the windows would go faced out into the buildings parking lot. This will come into play.
So me and my co-workers, Ernie, have to go in and find this thing. It's nestled in the rafters and hisses immediately when we approach. Ernie immediately takes leave of the building. It was winter at the time, so I was lucky that I had a big jacket on. I managed to whack the fucker down out of the rafter and it started to charge me. Luckily I had anticipated this and had removed my jacket, so when it got close enough I grew the jacket over its head and back and jumped on the bastard, eventually getting a grip on it with both arms, essentially a bear hug, and took it to the open windows and threw it out, holding on to my jacket so it would pop out and hopefully fly away.
Unfortunately for the woman walking through the parking lot below the building, instead of flying away, it focused on her and like a fucking laser beam flew down and went to God damned town on her. I've never seen anything like it. She managed to run into a nearby building and escape it after a very long 30 seconds or so, but I would assume her day was pretty much ruined before it really even started.
The only other time I've dealt with one was when my dad had a chicken coop, and he would keep a goose, Gertrude, in there to break up fights and watch over the chickens in case of coyotes. One time I as visiting and heard a hell of a racket, and when I went outside this coyote came barreling around the corner of the house with Gertrude on its back just kicking the shit out of it. That coyote ran into the brush like its ass was on fire, Gertrude just wailing on him the whole way. A few minutes later she comes back through the yard, honking all the way, and went right back to the chicken coop to immediately break up a chicken fight that had erupted in her absence.
Gertrude was cool as fuck.
The reason why no one wants to fight a goose is because they don't let you win with half measures. You fight a goose for a second and you realize that you won't win until the goose is dead. You guys ready to throw down with a goose to the death? Motherfucker I'll just cross the street, or exit from the back, I ain't about to get covered in goose blood today
A goose legit attacked me a few weeks ago as I was going from my car to my work.
When I went inside, IT WAITED FOR MY ASS TO COME BACK OUT
Look out, we got a badass over here.
Im sorry a 20lb bird kicked your butt.
Yes. They are paranoid biting assholes.
A goose legit attacked me a few weeks ago as I was going from my car to my work.
When I went inside, IT WAITED FOR MY ASS TO COME BACK OUT
Man this is devolving into a Mortal Kombat nowSo you threw closed fist punches at it? Kicked as hard as you can? Grab its weak neck?
For those of you who have been attacked by a goose, why didn't you just kick the fuckin' thing in the head?
For those of you who have been attacked by a goose, why didn't you just kick the fuckin' thing in the head?
The only reason why a goose is scary is that people never fight back. Do you really think i wont whoop it?
If it was a real fight, one swift kick might kill it.
Exactly,
Everyone who gets attacked by a goose, runs. Are they viscous? Sure. But if i fight back they have no chance of survival.
Im sorry a 20lb bird kicked your butt.
So you threw closed fist punches at it? Kicked as hard as you can? Grab its weak neck?
dude FUCK that goose, that fuckin goose, yes that EXACT one chased me to my goddamn car, tried to bite me
i took some video in 2012. https://giant.gfycat.com/DisgustingRegalAntipodesgreenparakeet.webm
protected species and all that, if i kicked it, i'd get a huge fine/go to jail
You never look smart or clever while fighting a goose.
Ha hah ha ha.Look out, we got a badass over here.
A goose legit attacked me a few weeks ago as I was going from my car to my work.
When I went inside, IT WAITED FOR MY ASS TO COME BACK OUT
Woah, dude's in the handicap spot and doesn't give a fuck.
A goose legit attacked me a few weeks ago as I was going from my car to my work.
When I went inside, IT WAITED FOR MY ASS TO COME BACK OUT
You either win or you die and you gotta commit. If you ain't ready to take a life before your morning coffee at work then you ain't a goose fighter.
I can't stop laughing at work. You chucked a wild goose at someone. looool
You either win or you die and you gotta commit. If you ain't ready to take a life before your morning coffee at work then you ain't a goose fighter.
For those of you who have been attacked by a goose, why didn't you just kick the fuckin' thing in the head?
Dawwwwww
But Geese, Ducks and Swans will fuck you up if you fuck them up.
Just don't fuck with geese. You can "win", but you'll never win.
Because we are not psychos? Why would you potentially kill a goose just because it was threatened by you and is defending itself?
You sound like a completely sane and well adjusted individual
Geese are miserable bastard. My dad used to have a flock at his ranch. They did not give a fuck how big you were, you never cross their flock. Even the horses stayed away from them.
If a goose attacked me i would definitely not fight back, cause i love animals.
Just dont tell me a goose can kick my butt, cause it cant.
If a goose attacked me i would definitely not fight back, cause i love animals.
Just dont tell me a goose can kick my butt, cause it cant.
A goose legit attacked me a few weeks ago as I was going from my car to my work.
When I went inside, IT WAITED FOR MY ASS TO COME BACK OUT
I like how this thread has gone full circle from people laughing at how ducks are scaring all these guys who talk about having 12 inch wangs and being able to bone for 10 hours straight, to respecting geese as aggressive motherfuckers, all the way back around to people acting like tough guys about fighting geese.
Next step we declare them a threat and suggest their complete annihilation.
Possible Nuke areas?