I think typically most people purposely guess wrong for theirs and/or give "feedback" for their own stories.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
NeoGAF Creative Writing Challenge #221 - Org-eeeeeer.......MASQUERADE!?
- Thread starter FlowersisBritish
- Start date
I think typically most people purposely guess wrong for theirs and/or give "feedback" for their own stories.
choodi
Banned
It's just a bit of fun, so I hope that everyone will be honest. As I said, that is actually the part I am most looking forward to just to see how wrong I got it and whether I have a predictable writing style that others will be able to pick.
Done giving feedback and voting. Here are my guesses for who did what...(didn't include mine, so save this for after you've read everything if you want to get full enjoyment from this game)
Okay, now that I see all the names, I think I might be way off on a few/most of these.
"Theocracy" - Mu Cephei
"The Battle of Nelson Pass" - Choodi
"Unmask, Stranger" - John Dunbar
"An Evening of Opportunity" - Moustacheman
"A Murderous Masquerade" - Ashes
"Behind the Mask" - FlowerisBritish
"The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres" - Nezumi
"Pudding" - Charade
"The Battle of Nelson Pass" - Choodi
"Unmask, Stranger" - John Dunbar
"An Evening of Opportunity" - Moustacheman
"A Murderous Masquerade" - Ashes
"Behind the Mask" - FlowerisBritish
"The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres" - Nezumi
"Pudding" - Charade
Okay, now that I see all the names, I think I might be way off on a few/most of these.
Votes! I might try to do feedback for the rest tomorrow if I can find the time.
1. Behind the Mask - Really stellar opening paragraph. Loved the oddness of this one played straight. One thing that threw me off was the use of present tense for the stage direction... didn't really work for me and when I read it back in past tense it seemed to flow better imo. But I'm no writing guru in terms of rules and whatnot so take that for what it's worth lol.
2. The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres - Really liked the non-standard format and how you presented each crime. The ending was great and that last line was good stuff.
3. Four-Corner Forgery - Solid dialogue and unique setting. This grabbed me and held my interest despite the fact that I am not a wrestling fan so bravo there.
Also have some guesses that you will have to quote to see. I decided to exclude myself for the sake of putting a proper name to everything...so be forewarned!
1. Behind the Mask - Really stellar opening paragraph. Loved the oddness of this one played straight. One thing that threw me off was the use of present tense for the stage direction... didn't really work for me and when I read it back in past tense it seemed to flow better imo. But I'm no writing guru in terms of rules and whatnot so take that for what it's worth lol.
2. The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres - Really liked the non-standard format and how you presented each crime. The ending was great and that last line was good stuff.
3. Four-Corner Forgery - Solid dialogue and unique setting. This grabbed me and held my interest despite the fact that I am not a wrestling fan so bravo there.
Also have some guesses that you will have to quote to see. I decided to exclude myself for the sake of putting a proper name to everything...so be forewarned!
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
Part of me really wishes I could guess. Another part of me is having a lot of fun seeing who guess right.
Votes:
1.) Behind the Mask
2.) The Five Crimes of Franklin Torres
3.) The Battle of Nelson Pass
Musings and Guesses:
1.) Behind the Mask
2.) The Five Crimes of Franklin Torres
3.) The Battle of Nelson Pass
Musings and Guesses:
I'm fairly certain that Flowers did Behind the Mask, prose, theme and characterisation just seem to fit rather well.
And this is where my certainty ends already. Since no moustache man has showed himself so far I would still say that he is Ashes in reality and maybe wrote Unmask, Stranger as I don't think any of the other writers this time around normally does overly strange stuff and the odd structure would be an indicator of that as well, than again some of the dialogue and subtle underlying themes in Pudding also reminded me of some of his stuff...
After that it gets even harder... Choodi is Australian so I don't think he wrote the wrestling story, his last entry had a western feel (despite the setting) to it so maybe he continued in that vein and wrote either Nelson Pass or Frank Torres.
Charade was the one I was able to easily identity the last time we did this, but there weren't really any real fantasy stories this time around and neither Evening of Opportunities or Theocracy really felt like him/her so I really don't know.
Same problem with My Cephei who I mostly associate with Sci-fi... There wasn't a single Sci-fi story, maybe Theocracy or the wrestling one?
Alucard I could see you trying something like Murderous Masquerade but it didn't really sound like you...
Dongs Macabre I'm not familiar enough to really pin a story to. If I have to guess... Pudding.
John Dunbar... My gut says Frank Torres.
And this is where my certainty ends already. Since no moustache man has showed himself so far I would still say that he is Ashes in reality and maybe wrote Unmask, Stranger as I don't think any of the other writers this time around normally does overly strange stuff and the odd structure would be an indicator of that as well, than again some of the dialogue and subtle underlying themes in Pudding also reminded me of some of his stuff...
After that it gets even harder... Choodi is Australian so I don't think he wrote the wrestling story, his last entry had a western feel (despite the setting) to it so maybe he continued in that vein and wrote either Nelson Pass or Frank Torres.
Charade was the one I was able to easily identity the last time we did this, but there weren't really any real fantasy stories this time around and neither Evening of Opportunities or Theocracy really felt like him/her so I really don't know.
Same problem with My Cephei who I mostly associate with Sci-fi... There wasn't a single Sci-fi story, maybe Theocracy or the wrestling one?
Alucard I could see you trying something like Murderous Masquerade but it didn't really sound like you...
Dongs Macabre I'm not familiar enough to really pin a story to. If I have to guess... Pudding.
John Dunbar... My gut says Frank Torres.
choodi
Banned
moustascheman
Member
Votes:
1. The Battle of Nelson Pass
2. A Murderous Masquerade
3. Unmask, Stranger
1. The Battle of Nelson Pass
2. A Murderous Masquerade
3. Unmask, Stranger
Well... so much for my theory...
Votes:
1. The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres
2. Behind the Mask
3. Four-Corner Forgery
Guesses (two each for obfuscatory purposes. First is who I think more likely). Basically I have no clue, I was totally sure Nezumi wrote 'Behind the Mask' until she voted for it. Anyway, several really excellent stories this round.
editing in a disclaimer with authorship spoilers, quote to see
1. The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres
2. Behind the Mask
3. Four-Corner Forgery
Guesses (two each for obfuscatory purposes. First is who I think more likely). Basically I have no clue, I was totally sure Nezumi wrote 'Behind the Mask' until she voted for it. Anyway, several really excellent stories this round.
Theocracy - moustacheman/ Nezumi
The Battle of Nelson Pass - John Dunbar/ Charade
Unmask, Stranger - Dongs Macabre/ Charade
An Evening of Opportunity - Charade/ choodi
Four-Corner Forgery - Alucard/ John Dunbar
A Murderous Masquerade - Nezumi/ Flowers
Behind the Mask - Flowers/ John Dunbar
The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres - choodi/ John Dunbar
Pudding - Dongs Macabre/ moustacheman
The Battle of Nelson Pass - John Dunbar/ Charade
Unmask, Stranger - Dongs Macabre/ Charade
An Evening of Opportunity - Charade/ choodi
Four-Corner Forgery - Alucard/ John Dunbar
A Murderous Masquerade - Nezumi/ Flowers
Behind the Mask - Flowers/ John Dunbar
The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres - choodi/ John Dunbar
Pudding - Dongs Macabre/ moustacheman
editing in a disclaimer with authorship spoilers, quote to see
Nice! Knowing who is attending will at least make the guessing somewhat easier, but yeah, no Tangent and no MikeGotta admit I had also half hoped that Cyan might try and sneak in for this one.
I thought about it! Couldn't get an idea together in time.
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
Boo at all of you people saying what you wrote so early in! Part of the fun is the lies! The deceit! The mask of someone who didn't write your story!
Yeah I probably should have mentioned that but Ashes was just fucking around. Though, I was so tired when I read his post that I thought "oh shit, did Ashes sneak a story in here without me looking?" I'm really fucking gullible when I'm tired.
Anyway here are some responses and votes
Votes
1. Four-Corner Forger
2. The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres
3. Behind the Mask
Stranger, Unmask: I appreciate the trippiness of this even if I did get muddled by quite a bit. I think it's because everything was very nebulous that I ended up getting lost. I didn't really know where the characters were outside of the dreamscape so I got pretty confused as to what was happening. I do like how you decided to continue an older story... whoever you are... and i liked how you fleshed out the hero rivalry with the Duchess a bit more this time. Even if it felt weird, it felt like a proper hero fight.
Theocracy: It took me a moment to get into this, when we got to the greedy ”priests" interpreting the menka's mask, I had a lot of fun reading this. All of their various interpretations got more than a few chuckles out of me. I'm a little bummed it ends at that spot though.
The Battle of Nelson Pass: Good. I liked all the story beats, but I felt that the moment needed to tie the emotional change in the MC was the brief montage in the middle, and it didn't last long enough to create a solid emotional connection for me. I did really like the ending. I wonder why the MC didn't ask what'shisface about how he would convince the old woman?
An Evening of Opportunity: This was a fun, rather straight forward adventure (even given the betrayal). I feel like there was a lack of past in this, oddly enough? We have an idea of who the characters are at the beginning and it gets flipped by the end, though the two halves don't really reconcile with each other. Knowing about what happened to Lysa in the beginning might have been able to bring it together.
Four-Corner Forgery: This got boosted up for me because I've always liked the backend of wrestling and enjoyed the setting of people hammering out details for their matches and the kind of petty rivalries that actually form beneath the surface. It's a good setting and I think Max is a good character. I'd like to see the conclusion of that Max/Rex fight.
Murderous Masquerade: I don't usually mention this, but this really needed another edit. I caught a bunch of errors in the first page. In general, every time I got into this I caught an error and got pulled out of the story. This is very fast paced, and while the dialogue is really good, it's also kind of tough to keep track of the many characters you have going on. While it kinda comes together at the end, this felt way too rushed. Yet another victim of the low word count!
Behind the Mask: I think the decision to keep Steven (a character who are first knowledge of is he doesn't really interact with the world) distant within the narration was an interesting choice that paid off at the end. To my knowledge, despite interacting with other characters, Steven doesn't actually speak until he asks the woman to feed him like a bird, and I thought that was a very interesting way to go about it. Overall there was a lot of really good bits in here and the most constructive I think I can be is, the beginning is a little bland. There are lots of stories about people who don't interact with the world and it takes a minute for this to distinguish itself from the rest.
The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres: This was good and I appreciate Frank owning up to the crimes and giving context to each as they come up. There is a theme of things spiraling out of his control, both with the crimes and the ending. The titular reveal of the fifth crime is pretty good, but I kind of wished we lingered on the aftermath (mostly with a body) for just a paragraph or two longer.
Pudding: I get instantly what you're trying to do, sprinkle hints about how bad Emma's life is, and I honestly like most of them. I really enjoyed the suddenness of the mention of the suicide attempt and the conversation about the dad on the couch. There were a bunch of things really off with this obviously working towards the end, but I think the end is a little too lazefaire about the abuse these girls are going through.
Yeah I probably should have mentioned that but Ashes was just fucking around. Though, I was so tired when I read his post that I thought "oh shit, did Ashes sneak a story in here without me looking?" I'm really fucking gullible when I'm tired.
Anyway here are some responses and votes
Votes
1. Four-Corner Forger
2. The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres
3. Behind the Mask
Stranger, Unmask: I appreciate the trippiness of this even if I did get muddled by quite a bit. I think it's because everything was very nebulous that I ended up getting lost. I didn't really know where the characters were outside of the dreamscape so I got pretty confused as to what was happening. I do like how you decided to continue an older story... whoever you are... and i liked how you fleshed out the hero rivalry with the Duchess a bit more this time. Even if it felt weird, it felt like a proper hero fight.
Theocracy: It took me a moment to get into this, when we got to the greedy ”priests" interpreting the menka's mask, I had a lot of fun reading this. All of their various interpretations got more than a few chuckles out of me. I'm a little bummed it ends at that spot though.
The Battle of Nelson Pass: Good. I liked all the story beats, but I felt that the moment needed to tie the emotional change in the MC was the brief montage in the middle, and it didn't last long enough to create a solid emotional connection for me. I did really like the ending. I wonder why the MC didn't ask what'shisface about how he would convince the old woman?
An Evening of Opportunity: This was a fun, rather straight forward adventure (even given the betrayal). I feel like there was a lack of past in this, oddly enough? We have an idea of who the characters are at the beginning and it gets flipped by the end, though the two halves don't really reconcile with each other. Knowing about what happened to Lysa in the beginning might have been able to bring it together.
Four-Corner Forgery: This got boosted up for me because I've always liked the backend of wrestling and enjoyed the setting of people hammering out details for their matches and the kind of petty rivalries that actually form beneath the surface. It's a good setting and I think Max is a good character. I'd like to see the conclusion of that Max/Rex fight.
Murderous Masquerade: I don't usually mention this, but this really needed another edit. I caught a bunch of errors in the first page. In general, every time I got into this I caught an error and got pulled out of the story. This is very fast paced, and while the dialogue is really good, it's also kind of tough to keep track of the many characters you have going on. While it kinda comes together at the end, this felt way too rushed. Yet another victim of the low word count!
Behind the Mask: I think the decision to keep Steven (a character who are first knowledge of is he doesn't really interact with the world) distant within the narration was an interesting choice that paid off at the end. To my knowledge, despite interacting with other characters, Steven doesn't actually speak until he asks the woman to feed him like a bird, and I thought that was a very interesting way to go about it. Overall there was a lot of really good bits in here and the most constructive I think I can be is, the beginning is a little bland. There are lots of stories about people who don't interact with the world and it takes a minute for this to distinguish itself from the rest.
The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres: This was good and I appreciate Frank owning up to the crimes and giving context to each as they come up. There is a theme of things spiraling out of his control, both with the crimes and the ending. The titular reveal of the fifth crime is pretty good, but I kind of wished we lingered on the aftermath (mostly with a body) for just a paragraph or two longer.
Pudding: I get instantly what you're trying to do, sprinkle hints about how bad Emma's life is, and I honestly like most of them. I really enjoyed the suddenness of the mention of the suicide attempt and the conversation about the dad on the couch. There were a bunch of things really off with this obviously working towards the end, but I think the end is a little too lazefaire about the abuse these girls are going through.
Well, didn't he get someone else to submit a story for him on one of these challenges once?
And why did you vote for Behind the Mask? I was sure that was you, dammit!
John Dunbar
correct about everything
1. The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres
2. Four-Corner Forgery
3. The Battle of Nelson Pass
2. Four-Corner Forgery
3. The Battle of Nelson Pass
All nine contributors have now voted. Here are the results:
1. The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres (18)
2. Behind the Mask (12)
3. Four-Corner Forgery (9)
4. The Battle of Nelson Pass (8)
5. Theocracy (3)
5. A Murderous Masquerade (3)
7. Unmask, Stranger (1)
Who won, Flowers? We're ready for the curtain to be raised!
1. The Five Crimes of Franklyn Torres (18)
2. Behind the Mask (12)
3. Four-Corner Forgery (9)
4. The Battle of Nelson Pass (8)
5. Theocracy (3)
5. A Murderous Masquerade (3)
7. Unmask, Stranger (1)
Who won, Flowers? We're ready for the curtain to be raised!
FlowersisBritish
fleurs n'est pas britannique
Alright Mr. Impatient!
Dongs did Unmask, Stranger
Charade: Battle for Nelson's Gams
John Dunbar was Beneath the Flowers Mask
MoustacheMan had An Evening of Opportunity
Alucard knows what he did....... which was Four-Corner Forgery
Chodi is convicted of the Five Crimes of Winning
Nez participated in a Theocracy
Mu likes Pudding
And I, being the person who gave this challenge the name Masquerade, did the story with Masquerade in its title.
Anyway, congrats Chodi! Glad you took the time to submit a story!
Dongs did Unmask, Stranger
Charade: Battle for Nelson's Gams
John Dunbar was Beneath the Flowers Mask
MoustacheMan had An Evening of Opportunity
Alucard knows what he did....... which was Four-Corner Forgery
Chodi is convicted of the Five Crimes of Winning
Nez participated in a Theocracy
Mu likes Pudding
And I, being the person who gave this challenge the name Masquerade, did the story with Masquerade in its title.
Anyway, congrats Chodi! Glad you took the time to submit a story!
Dongs Macabre
aka Daedalos42
.
Last edited:
choodi
Banned
Haha, as soon as I read the bird feeding part, there was only one choice for who wrote Behind the Mask. Everyone else I got completely wrong.
I'm actually really surprised with the win. I wrote about 500 words intending to do a fantasy story about a bounty hunter who wears a mask, but kind of got distracted by life. I think I got so far as where he enters the town and takes his (at the time) sword from his horse.
I changed direction once I thought of the title, which I think came to me while waiting for the bus. It sounded like a western, so I changed his sword to a shotgun and went from there. I literally wrote the rest in the three hours before I submitted.
I'm pretty happy with the story. I would have liked another 300 words, but I think the lower limit made me be a bit more urgent with my writing and forced me to cut unnecessary characters and limit my explanations, which ultimately resulted in a tighter narrative.
I originally planned for Franklyn to kill the bounty hunter as his fifth crime, but there was nothing there that would resonate with the reader and would have made no sense in the theme of redemption by self sacrifice that kind of emerged.
Anyway, thanks for the votes. I'll have a new thread up tonight (early hours of the morning in the US).
I'm actually really surprised with the win. I wrote about 500 words intending to do a fantasy story about a bounty hunter who wears a mask, but kind of got distracted by life. I think I got so far as where he enters the town and takes his (at the time) sword from his horse.
I changed direction once I thought of the title, which I think came to me while waiting for the bus. It sounded like a western, so I changed his sword to a shotgun and went from there. I literally wrote the rest in the three hours before I submitted.
I'm pretty happy with the story. I would have liked another 300 words, but I think the lower limit made me be a bit more urgent with my writing and forced me to cut unnecessary characters and limit my explanations, which ultimately resulted in a tighter narrative.
I originally planned for Franklyn to kill the bounty hunter as his fifth crime, but there was nothing there that would resonate with the reader and would have made no sense in the theme of redemption by self sacrifice that kind of emerged.
Anyway, thanks for the votes. I'll have a new thread up tonight (early hours of the morning in the US).
John Dunbar
correct about everything
congrats, choodi.
i can say i only guessed one story right. i read the first two or so sentences of theocracy and thought "this is nezumi."
i can say i only guessed one story right. i read the first two or so sentences of theocracy and thought "this is nezumi."
Yeah, normally I try to deliberately write stuff out of my comfort zone for these, but this time I was just happy to get anything done at all
choodi
Banned
New thread is up. I've pulled back the mask to reveal the horror that lies underneath.
Similar threads
- Locked