Huge Succeeded
Banned
Hey, you bought the new Pokemon game? That means you're fucking stupid.
No, that's not my opinion. That's Game Freak's opinion of you. You bought Pokemon, so you must be a goddamn dunce, and so for the next hundred or so hours our game's dialogue is going to talk waaaay the fuck down to you, while making as little sense as humanly possible. There will not be a single human character in our game who talks like a human. They'll all talk like Steve from Blues Clues just dropped shitloads of LSD into his eye and fell into a ball pit full of Pokemon plushies.
I am not exaggerating. As an adult, this is what playing Pokemon feels like. And I get it, I totally get it. Before you shitpost, I know that Pokemon is a children's game. Just like Adventure Time and Regular Show are children's TV shows. Just like the Lego Movie and Up and Toy Story 3 are children's movies. Why do I bring those properties up? Because they prove that you CAN write dialogue and scenarios for children that aren't depressingly stupid and condescending, shit that doesn't assume the intellect of the viewer is at perfect zero. You can entertain children without making it clear to them that you think they're dumb as shit. That's a thing! But not in Game Freak's world.
edit: Whoa, I hit the Post Thread button WAY too prematurely by accident. Fuck. I'm poring through LPs for examples right now, I do plan on finishing this post, lmao.
This is you being invited to your first contest. This is some random dialogue heard in passing between two NPCs. This is you visiting a restaurant (the trainer dialogue is what gets me, lol. "The world of food is really tough...") This is you beating your rival. (which in particular isn't as bad as I remembered it being tbh) but this all takes place in a single city in the game, and is representative of the level of writing on show here. This writing isn't just simple, it comes off like it was literally written by crazy people at times. It's not necessarily a problem that the writing is simple, but most of the time it comes off as just plain random and nonsensical, and not really in a cute or funny way, more like in a poor translation sort of way.
No, that's not my opinion. That's Game Freak's opinion of you. You bought Pokemon, so you must be a goddamn dunce, and so for the next hundred or so hours our game's dialogue is going to talk waaaay the fuck down to you, while making as little sense as humanly possible. There will not be a single human character in our game who talks like a human. They'll all talk like Steve from Blues Clues just dropped shitloads of LSD into his eye and fell into a ball pit full of Pokemon plushies.
I am not exaggerating. As an adult, this is what playing Pokemon feels like. And I get it, I totally get it. Before you shitpost, I know that Pokemon is a children's game. Just like Adventure Time and Regular Show are children's TV shows. Just like the Lego Movie and Up and Toy Story 3 are children's movies. Why do I bring those properties up? Because they prove that you CAN write dialogue and scenarios for children that aren't depressingly stupid and condescending, shit that doesn't assume the intellect of the viewer is at perfect zero. You can entertain children without making it clear to them that you think they're dumb as shit. That's a thing! But not in Game Freak's world.
edit: Whoa, I hit the Post Thread button WAY too prematurely by accident. Fuck. I'm poring through LPs for examples right now, I do plan on finishing this post, lmao.
This is you being invited to your first contest. This is some random dialogue heard in passing between two NPCs. This is you visiting a restaurant (the trainer dialogue is what gets me, lol. "The world of food is really tough...") This is you beating your rival. (which in particular isn't as bad as I remembered it being tbh) but this all takes place in a single city in the game, and is representative of the level of writing on show here. This writing isn't just simple, it comes off like it was literally written by crazy people at times. It's not necessarily a problem that the writing is simple, but most of the time it comes off as just plain random and nonsensical, and not really in a cute or funny way, more like in a poor translation sort of way.