• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Tinder is destroying men’s self-esteem (New York Post)

Status
Not open for further replies.

Hubbl3

Unconfirmed Member
It's tough for shorties out there. However a benefit is Tinder showed me that a certain type of girl is into me. Black hair short and slightly overweight. Too bad for me I like blondes ��

Good lord man, girls with black, curly hair and dark eyes are my weakness! I tend to attract blonde haired, blue eyed women though, so I'd gladly trade places with you, haha
 
"Ride a horse, it's worked for millennia."
rolleyes.

All I'm saying is with apps, you get what you ask for. You're casting a huge net, but everyone is giving their ideals in a profile ad. It's easy to cast off 5ft11 when there's hundreds of 6ft1. If you meet the same people in real life, things like that don't have such magnified importance because you actually get to communicate and connect with a person rather than just send emojis and dickpics.
 
R1JwMuc.png
 

Maximo

Member
Believe we had another thread a few months ago in regards to the difficulties and troubles short men have had with dating in general especially online dating, height seems to be the biggest factor in how women judge a partner (Not my own words there was a poll in the last thread with height being the biggest factor).
 

Zombine

Banned
I'm 6'4. My girlfriend is 5'2 and loves that I'm tall.

The biggest change I've made in my life is I ditched the cargo shorts.
 

Moff

Member
It's okay for women to write off a guy based on height something no one can control, but the moment the guy says she's too heavy for him, he's labeled as a shallow pig.

fat people have been very vocal about fat shaming and it had the effect that it's no longer politically correct. short men never did that.
honestly, I don't think it's much use either, after all no man will date a fat woman because of that, he will just keep his opinion to himself and reject her for something else. I don't know if that's any better for your self esteem.

besides, I think short guys have it still easier than fat women.
 

theaface

Member
My immediate response to this is 'don't use Tinder then'. It's design for immediacy and therefore more prone to a superficial approach to dating. Use something like eHarmony if you want a more meaningful online dating experience.
 
I've literally never met a single woman in my life who insisted that any guys she dates has to be 6'-1" or taller.

maybe because people aren't that upfront in real life? when you are literally the belle of the ball and have 100s of men you can choose from you can get picky.
 

efyu_lemonardo

May I have a cookie?
True. But people can choose to hold on to certain values.
Maybe Tinder isn't the way to go then in the frist place.

Ofcourse some of those people are on Tinder and will possibly find a good match.
I'm talking in general here.
Certain values as in the worth of height and appearance? I see that as a natural consequence of women being in higher demand, added to the fact that Tinder's approach is superficial and therefore indeed not for everybody.
 

entremet

Member
Man the tables have flipped completely (outside of 3rd world)? So now men have to worry more about appearance.
Women always had these preferences. They just can state them due to how dating apps work.

You think women in the 50, 60, 70, and 80s didn't prefer taller men?

I'm tall and I haven old ladies telling me I should find it easy finding a partner. They know shit about Internet dating.
 
I'd actually be really interested to see some broader statistics on this, because the heaps of anecdotal evidence I've encountered suggest women are much more desirable than men online.
OKCupid did that: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/

Male-Messaging-Curve.png


Message-Multiple.png


Yes, women have easier pickings online. But men also by far message the most attractive women. So if the same happens the other way around on Tinder, well, I can't find anything strange about that.
 

smisk

Member
As a 5'9 guy, I don't necessarily think height is the only reason guys get passed over. I'm sure there are plenty of taller dudes that don't get many matches either. I honestly think Tinder is a shitty way to meet people. Definitely takes it's toll on your self esteem, which is why I stopped using it.
 
I've watched lady-friends swipe through the selection of Tinder guys and frankly a lot of them are making mistakes that are entirely in their control. No girl wants to date a guy who only has poorly-lit selfies, looks unkempt, doesn't seem to know how to smile, has a terrible haircut, says weird/overly forward shit in his profile, has no pictures of him out with friends, doesn't have a sense of style, etc. I'd say at least half of all guys on Tinder fall into at least one of these categories.
 

Sdkkds

Neo Member
You tell him not to sweat it but at that point they're neither hot nor young anymore, so what kind of consolation is that?

This happens to most women when they turn 30, so they are still hot. I think it has more to do with them changing what is important to them than lowering their standards.

And don't put your height into tinder, girls don't put weight.

And i am 5.7" and I have never had any issues when it comes to dating. And some of them have been taller than me. But I know women who are the only 6" and over guys, and all of them have changed their tune now that they have turned 30.
 
fat people have been very vocal about fat shaming and it had the effect that it's no longer politically correct. short men never did that.
honestly, I don't think it's much use either, after all no man will date a fat woman because of that, he will just keep his opinion to himself and reject her for something else. I don't know if that's any better for your self esteem.

besides, I think short guys have it still easier than fat women.

That's easily debatable. I mean if the fat woman has absolutely no self esteem, and doesn't give a flying frick, she can pretty much find someone desperate enough to sleep with her. It won't always work, but if you set up a test where the goal was to bring someone of the opposite sex home for the night. I think the fat woman would have an easier time.
 

entremet

Member
That's easily debatable. I mean if the fat woman has absolutely no self esteem, and doesn't give a flying frick, she can pretty much find someone desperate enough to sleep with her. It won't always work, but if you set up a test where the goal was to bring someone of the opposite sex home for the night. I think the fat woman would have an easier time.
This is where assymetrical dating goals come into play.

Straight women can get sex rather easily. Some dude will fuck them. A more fair comparison would be getting a relationship. A fat woman would have a much harder time.
 
This is where assymetrical dating goals come into play.

Straight women can get sex rather easily. Some dude will fuck them. A more fair comparison would be getting a relationship. A fat woman would have a much harder time.

Once again, it would have to be a somewhat even contest right?

We can't take someone like Tom Cruise who is short for Hollywood standards, and then have him go against a 400lb behemoth.
 
I never list height cuz manlet isn't something to advertise in NYC (5'8). I think it's more of a filter. Some ask me and some don't. Some girls taller. 75% of the height girls respond pretty well and will work with it while 25% will write me off even after a great convo for a few days lol.

I honestly wouldn't even want to be 6'1. Ideal height is 5'10-5'11. Would hate to be tall and lanky with no muscle.
 

entremet

Member
Once again, it would have to be a somewhat even contest right?

We can't take someone like Tom Cruise who is short for Hollywood standards, and then have him go against a 400lb behemoth.
It more that there is inherent assymetry in the genders, which is why 1:1 comparisons are always hard to do.
 
That's interesting. I'll have to read the article but based on the first graph alone what you say is actually inaccurate as it shows that the top most attractive women are messaged less than the ones close to the top..

I think that's a matter of population distribution. The graph is also accounting for what % of the population falls into the "most attractive" category. The group close to the top receives more messages only because there are considerably more people who are close to the top than actually at the top. At least that's what I believe the graph shows. I would imagine that on an individual basis, a 5 on that graph receives more messages than a 4, there just aren't enough 5's to counteract the sheer number of people considered 4's.

edit- I see that you edited your post, whoops!
 

Ether_Snake

安安安安安安安安安安安安安安安
I wish I wasn't short :( 5'9. I've legit heard girls I know say guys under 6 feet aren't appealing. I nearly yelled at one of them who said guys under 6'2 need to hit the gym and get taller. Like what the fuck.

That's nothing compared to all the black girls on Twitter saying short men need to die lol.

Don't have the link to that account which showed all those crazy tweets, but from reading it you'd think if the purge was real women would be hunting down all the guys inder 6'.
 

Zakalwe

Banned
Don't put your height, don't put your weight.

Take pictures that show you're confident, have friends, clean, groomed, etc...

Write something that shows you're articulate, intelligent, funny, etc...

---

If you have trouble with any of the above for legitimate reasons, then apps like Tinder are going to be unkind to you. I'd stick to sites like OKCupid that allow users the chance to present much more of themselves.
 

Ahasverus

Member
If that sounds bad to you, Grindr is 22532896% worse. Not only you have to look like a Calvin Klein model, good luck finding an actual conversation. In conclusion, online dating sucks, try to meet more people irl.
 

Maximo

Member
Shorter people also earn less money! http://www.livescience.com/5552-taller-people-earn-money.html

There's a growing body of research that finds taller people make more money.

The latest study, in Australia, found that being 6-foot tall brings raises annual income nearly $1,000 compared to men two inches shorter.

"Taller people are perceived to be more intelligent and powerful," according to the study, published recently in the Economic Record.

"Our estimates suggest that if the average man of about 178 centimeters [5 feet 10 inches] gains an additional five centimeters [2 inches] in height, he would be able to earn an extra $950 per year - which is approximately equal to the wage gain from one extra year of labor market experience," said study co-author Andrew Leigh, an economist at the Australian National University.

Other studies in the United States and Britain put the extra earnings at nearly that much per inch.

"The truth is, tall people do make more money. They make $789 more per inch per year," says Arianne Cohen, author of "The Tall Book" (Bloomsbury USA, June, 2009).

There's nothing else physically measurable about tall people that explains the salary boost, however, Cohen explained recently on American Public Media's radio program Marketplace. "They're not nicer. They're not prettier. They're not anything else. But they've sort of gotten a halo in society at this point."
 

JC Lately

Member
Thanks for bi-weekly reminder that if anything happens to my current marriage, I'm pretty much doomed to die alone, Internet!
 

Mesousa

Banned
Don't put your height, don't put your weight.

Take pictures that show you're confident, have friends, clean, groomed, etc...

Write something that shows you're articulate, intelligent, funny, etc...

---

If you have trouble with any of the above for legitimate reasons, then apps like Tinder are going to be unkind to you. I'd stick to sites like OKCupid that allow users the chance to present much more of themselves.

That actually lowers your value with women down here from what I notice.
 

PillarEN

Member
GAF is full of shit. Everybody has 9 inch cocks but don't even reach 5'10 in height?!

Plenty of you have loads of explaining to do.
 
Don't put your height, don't put your weight.

Take pictures that show you're confident, have friends, clean, groomed, etc...

Write something that shows you're articulate, intelligent, funny, etc...

---

If you have trouble with any of the above for legitimate reasons, then apps like Tinder are going to be unkind to you. I'd stick to sites like OKCupid that allow users the chance to present much more of themselves.

Agreed. And when it comes to looking clean and groomed and how your picture presents yourself, there is a world of difference between this:


and this:


Neither of these guys are blessed with Brad Pitt genes, but one of them is actually well dressed and you can tell is outside doing something (and also didn't take the picture himself). The other threw on a bunch of "upscale" attire that doesn't fit him and snapped a cell phone pic in front of a mirror. Be the first guy, not the second.
 

Zaphrynn

Member
There's nothing else physically measurable about tall people that explains the salary boost, however, Cohen explained recently on American Public Media's radio program Marketplace. "They're not nicer. They're not prettier. They're not anything else. But they've sort of gotten a halo in society at this point."

I imagine people perceiving tall people as being better leaders, more intelligent, etc causes tall people to take on these traits. Basically self-fulfilling prophecies.

Edit:

Like this?

Wow, that's awful
 
That actually lowers your value with women down here from what I notice.

That depends. Being smart and articulate in one person's opinion could come across as pompous, pretentious and arrogant in another's. I'm not saying this applies to you, but a woman wanting a guy who's smart and articulate doesn't mean she wants a guy to mansplain Bertrand Russell philosophy to her either.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom