LeeRoyBrown
Banned
Just got back from the cinema, and man.
Absolutely Garbage.
Everything that is going to happen is ridiculously telegraphed and the acting makes you feel like you're on the set of a B movie.
I'll sum up the opening scene as my most hated but fuck me the final battle was pretty bad and that fight scene with Sauron had some of the fucking worst use of special effects I've seen in a while. That fucking scene where Legolas becomes Super Mario and jumps on falling bricks? The orcs threatening to slow mo stab every character 20 times, when they get saved just in time all the fucking time.. uuuugh, the bad bad acting.
Anyway, What was your worst scene in this film and why?
From the top, Smaug is burning the town and the effects are pretty impressive, for the most part. However the second people come into view god the acting is bad, "OMG It's a dragon, he's setting the town on fire, everybody run wwwaaaaaaaa". Awful acting from the people of lake town.
Bard is locked in a cell and is trying to break out, poor guy how did he even get into this mess god everything is blocked he can't get out, there is no hope. Beneath him, a side story you won't give two shits about is playing out. The Mayor and his best friend I don't know lets call him Worm Tongue are sailing their little boat down the stream, their boat is entirely covered in gold and people are trying to climb on their boat, but of course because these guys ARE THE BAD GUYS they don't let any of the poor people climb on their boat, because they need that fucking gold, Just totally ignore that dragon overhead destroying the entire town. The boat can sail with both of them on it, but not for long apparently as the mayor decides to drop off his friend Worm Tongue in the water so the boat stays above the water.
It's all smooth sailing for the badies and it's looking like the hero Bard can't be saved when...suddenly... whats that? a rope where from omg, just lying around in the cell. HANG ON IT'S FUCKING MACGYVER!
MacGyver "Bard" decides he needs to break out of prison before the dragon kills him, so he throws a rope around the mayor, whom passes beneath the cell just in time, so Bard pulls the mayor into the stern of his own ship, the pressure of the fat bad guy being pullled into his own ship pulls an entire metal prison window out.
Yes a small boat you could tie to a wharf with fucking no effort, doesn't somehow stop when then old man is pulled into the stern? Heres what would happen, the boat would stop moving, kick sideways, the mayor would fall out and Bard would still be fucked.
Anyway cut to Bard up a tower now shooting arrows at Smaug that deal 0 damage. Smaug wants Bard dead, but not until he talks to him for a bit about how good he is at cooking things. You see Bard is shooting arrows at Smaug but they don't work, and somehow Bard broke his bow. Smaug suddenly can tell bard is chilling out with his son, fucked if I know how from that large distance, anyway, it looks like Bard and his son are totally fucked, when...OMG WHATS THIS? FUCKING MACGYVER/CHUCK NORRIS makes a bow out of a broken bow and uses his sons shoulder to aim the fucking thing. Meanwhile Smaug moves as slow as he can and Massively Telegraphs his weak point and shows it to bard, ATTACK THIS FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE, Bard only has 1 arrow for the shot, but it doesnt matter, he fucking 360 No Scopes that shit from 100 yards away... with a bow string probably not capable of launching such a huge arrow. The magical arrow, that by the way the son found just in time. The arrow that was telegraphed in about 10 scenes in the previous film, the arrow that had killed a dragon before, the arrow that was shot by a gallant hero of lake town, he shot the dragon in his WEAK SPOT.
Who fucking saw this coming?
Yeah, I had no idea this moment was coming. I actually thought he would miss and get burned alive.
You can sum up Bard shooting the arrow pretty much like this.
HEY LISTEN
This set the scene for the entire film.
It was awful.
Can't wait for the shortened fan made cut that makes this trilogy into 1 film that isn't shit.
Absolutely Garbage.
Everything that is going to happen is ridiculously telegraphed and the acting makes you feel like you're on the set of a B movie.
I'll sum up the opening scene as my most hated but fuck me the final battle was pretty bad and that fight scene with Sauron had some of the fucking worst use of special effects I've seen in a while. That fucking scene where Legolas becomes Super Mario and jumps on falling bricks? The orcs threatening to slow mo stab every character 20 times, when they get saved just in time all the fucking time.. uuuugh, the bad bad acting.
Anyway, What was your worst scene in this film and why?
From the top, Smaug is burning the town and the effects are pretty impressive, for the most part. However the second people come into view god the acting is bad, "OMG It's a dragon, he's setting the town on fire, everybody run wwwaaaaaaaa". Awful acting from the people of lake town.
Bard is locked in a cell and is trying to break out, poor guy how did he even get into this mess god everything is blocked he can't get out, there is no hope. Beneath him, a side story you won't give two shits about is playing out. The Mayor and his best friend I don't know lets call him Worm Tongue are sailing their little boat down the stream, their boat is entirely covered in gold and people are trying to climb on their boat, but of course because these guys ARE THE BAD GUYS they don't let any of the poor people climb on their boat, because they need that fucking gold, Just totally ignore that dragon overhead destroying the entire town. The boat can sail with both of them on it, but not for long apparently as the mayor decides to drop off his friend Worm Tongue in the water so the boat stays above the water.
It's all smooth sailing for the badies and it's looking like the hero Bard can't be saved when...suddenly... whats that? a rope where from omg, just lying around in the cell. HANG ON IT'S FUCKING MACGYVER!
MacGyver "Bard" decides he needs to break out of prison before the dragon kills him, so he throws a rope around the mayor, whom passes beneath the cell just in time, so Bard pulls the mayor into the stern of his own ship, the pressure of the fat bad guy being pullled into his own ship pulls an entire metal prison window out.
Yes a small boat you could tie to a wharf with fucking no effort, doesn't somehow stop when then old man is pulled into the stern? Heres what would happen, the boat would stop moving, kick sideways, the mayor would fall out and Bard would still be fucked.
Anyway cut to Bard up a tower now shooting arrows at Smaug that deal 0 damage. Smaug wants Bard dead, but not until he talks to him for a bit about how good he is at cooking things. You see Bard is shooting arrows at Smaug but they don't work, and somehow Bard broke his bow. Smaug suddenly can tell bard is chilling out with his son, fucked if I know how from that large distance, anyway, it looks like Bard and his son are totally fucked, when...OMG WHATS THIS? FUCKING MACGYVER/CHUCK NORRIS makes a bow out of a broken bow and uses his sons shoulder to aim the fucking thing. Meanwhile Smaug moves as slow as he can and Massively Telegraphs his weak point and shows it to bard, ATTACK THIS FOR MASSIVE DAMAGE, Bard only has 1 arrow for the shot, but it doesnt matter, he fucking 360 No Scopes that shit from 100 yards away... with a bow string probably not capable of launching such a huge arrow. The magical arrow, that by the way the son found just in time. The arrow that was telegraphed in about 10 scenes in the previous film, the arrow that had killed a dragon before, the arrow that was shot by a gallant hero of lake town, he shot the dragon in his WEAK SPOT.
Who fucking saw this coming?
Yeah, I had no idea this moment was coming. I actually thought he would miss and get burned alive.
You can sum up Bard shooting the arrow pretty much like this.
HEY LISTEN
This set the scene for the entire film.
It was awful.
Can't wait for the shortened fan made cut that makes this trilogy into 1 film that isn't shit.
