It's a complicated thing.
There needs to be unity, at least among the Democrats, Liberals, Progressives, etc... It's going to be a long two to four years, and the longer we spend bickering over what to do, the less time we have to fight back.
I've taken to living to the phrase "Don't assume malice with what could more easily be explained as stupidity," except I adjust it to "Don't assume malice". People aren't stupid, as much as it feels like it sometimes. People aren't born malicious. There's a reason in there somewhere. It's not an easy thing to do sometimes. In fact, it can be really fucking hard. But I find that it's helped me a great deal in dissecting why someone thinks the way the think, says the things they say, and do the things they do.
This whole mess has cinched the idea to me that progressivism/liberalism has failed in properly presenting its ideas to the people that need them most, mainly the poor white person.
Because in the end, you can tell someone all the facts you want; that black people are more likely to be shot, that women make less than men, that LGBTQ people are at a higher risk of suicide. You might not intend to, but to him he hears you dismissing his pain as if it's unimportant.
Because all the facts in the world won't change the very real, very raw *feeling* of being fucked over. Because all the facts in the world won't change the reality that, well, they *are* being fucked over. No matter the cause of these feelings,
they are very real.
None of this is to say you should sympathize with the Klansman or that we should put up "both sides" on equal terms when that is clearly not the case in some instances. But don't pity the hillbilly in the countryside. Don't blame the "uneducated/unenlightened whites" or the Baby Boomers, as tempting as it may be. I'm not interested in whether or not that's true because, in the end, this truly is about feelings. Bemoan the fact that we did not reach out to him in time. "I understand why you think this way" is not the same thing as "I understand why you came to think this way". One is surface level, the other goes to that person's history and development as a person.
All of that said, I don't expect minorities to coddle us whities because of our feefees. But I think one of the things that we have failed to do is to reach out to the people who should be fighting with us, and we have failed to realize that we have some one of the best resources to do that, I.E. white guys and allies.
I'm a straight white dude. I'm also Jewish, and while I think people tend to downplay the shit that's thrown at us, in general I've been a pretty privileged person. As a straight white dude, I know how to talk to other straight white dudes. I know what the standard responses are when their privilege is challenged. I'm all for allies learning to listen, learning to hear the voices that need to be heard. But the most valuable thing an ally can, and should, do is to talk to the person he once was. To listen, question their thoughts, and embue empathy into someone who was just like him a few years ago. The guy who said "women havn't done much in history", the guy who talks over everyone else because he feels more special, the guy who says "just follow orders and you'll be fine". Because I was that guy at some point, and I know it's possible to sway the rocks, as firm as they seem.
I dunno. Maybe I'm being too nice or hopeful. Maybe I'm trying to make this all about us whities. I get that. I don't want to dismiss anybody's pain or frustration here, and I'm sorry if this comes off as all hockey or "just play nice" or dismissive. The past few days have given me a lot to think about and time to reflect on myself. I think it's a good thing to do for the next few days before heading back out and picking the pieces up one by one. We'll figure out how to put it all together somehow.
