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Am I in the forever friend zone?

L

Lkr

Member
disappeared said:
_66k5efdQQ51AqThMeS8DzSB9NA=.gif
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This is one of the best simpsons gif but the context here made me bust out laughing.

I'm assuming OP is done providing updates to this thread now?
 
D

DJChuy

Member
OP, if Persona 5 taught me one thing, it's to go to a fortune teller and tell that person you want to get closer to someone.

Learn from your mistakes and move on to the next one.

Or55cha.gif
 
J

Jasup

Member
Volcane said:
What a weird relationship the OP has with this woman. I don't know why he has such a vested interest in helping her, further her career. It sounds like she just wants to be a career woman, and think it will be very doubtful that she will want a romantic relationship once she starts her vocation.
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At this point the only thing I can think of is that it's some kind of multi-level marketing scheme and she's one of his recruits.
 
F

FyreWulff

Member
the only people that spout the term friendzone are usually frustrated or mentally think kindness coins are a valid currency and should get you laid

it's seriously not even that fucking hard

you know how if you're hetero, and you have hetero people you meet? you decide if they're a friend, foe, meh, etc? yeah the opposite sex is literally the same way. they're normal goddamn people. if you're a dude and a woman doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with you, respect their goddamn word and move on to looking for a relationship with someone else.


thinking you can "eventually convince" someone or win them over is some not-acknowledging-the-other-person-as-a-person shit


when you say "friendzone" you can read it as "i am a fucking idiot and it's all this other person's fault" See how fucking stupid it sounds?
 
D

disappeared

Banned
FyreWulff said:
the only people that spout the term friendzone are usually frustrated or mentally think kindness coins are a valid currency and should get you laid

it's seriously not even that fucking hard

you know how if you're hetero, and you have hetero people you meet? you decide if they're a friend, foe, meh, etc? yeah the opposite sex is literally the same way. they're normal goddamn people. if you're a dude and a woman doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with you, respect their goddamn word and move on to looking for a relationship with someone else.

thinking you can "eventually convince" someone or win them over is some not-acknowledging-the-other-person-as-a-person shit

when you say "friendzone" you can read it as "i am a fucking idiot and it's all this other person's fault" See how fucking stupid it sounds?
Click to expand...


Too much work; it's so much easier just to be delusional and misogynistic!
 
T

TarpitCarnivore

Member
Also should note that it's entirely normal for friends to eventually fall in love but it's usually something that happens organically. Not by trying to do good deeds and thinking it will eventually flip their decision
 
L

lightskintwin

Banned
FyreWulff said:
the only people that spout the term friendzone are usually frustrated or mentally think kindness coins are a valid currency and should get you laid

it's seriously not even that fucking hard

you know how if you're hetero, and you have hetero people you meet? you decide if they're a friend, foe, meh, etc? yeah the opposite sex is literally the same way. they're normal goddamn people. if you're a dude and a woman doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with you, respect their goddamn word and move on to looking for a relationship with someone else.


thinking you can "eventually convince" someone or win them over is some not-acknowledging-the-other-person-as-a-person shit


when you say "friendzone" you can read it as "i am a fucking idiot and it's all this other person's fault" See how fucking stupid it sounds?
Click to expand...

In general I agree. However I do think a metaphorical friend zone exists and have seen guys make it out of it and eventually date the girl. I realize it's not the majority of experiences, but in the minority, but it does happen.
 
F

FyreWulff

Member
lightskintwin said:
In general I agree. However I do think a metaphorical friend zone exists and have seen guys make it out of it and eventually date the girl. I realize it's not the majority of experiences, but in the minority, but it does happen.
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life changes over time and someone may want someone different, which turns out to be a friend. yes some friends do end up together romantically. But so will complete strangers or people that went to school together for first grade and somehow meet up 30 years later. thinking you just put enough kindness coins eventually you'll get a full relationship is dehumanizing the other person.

It helps to have an actual personality and actually reject people of the gender you are attracted to as potential partners. friendzoners built up this ideal perfect vision of the person they pine after, ignoring all the red flags and signs of why they're better off as a friend than a partner. And often you just torch a perfectly awesome long term friendship over wanting to get some.
 
L

lightskintwin

Banned
FyreWulff said:
life changes over time and someone may want someone different, which turns out to be a friend. yes some friends do end up together romantically. But so will complete strangers or people that went to school together for first grade and somehow meet up 30 years later. thinking you just put enough kindness coins eventually you'll get a full relationship is dehumanizing the other person.

It helps to have a spine and actually reject people of the gender you are attracted to as potential partners. friendzoners built up this ideal perfect vision of the person they pine after, ignoring all the red flags and signs of why they're better off as a friend than a partner. And often you just torch a perfectly awesome long term friendship over wanting to get some.
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Once again I completely agree. I've met plenty of dudes like that, and in almost all those situations it was a matter of the girl being out of the guy's league but the guy still convincing himself he still has a chance by being good friends with her.

However I would be remiss if I didn't admit that I've seen guys overcome this and stayed persistent and ever vigilant to their goal and ended up achieving it. It's something I would never recommend and IMO is humiliating to endure, not to mention embarrassing to see your boy put himself through that, but it does happen, despite how rare it occurs.
 
D

DJ88

Member
There's more to being a couple than just getting laid you know.

I agree that the majority of people complaining about being in a friend zone are in the wrong. But assuming all of them only want something serious so they can fuck is stupid.
 
L

lightskintwin

Banned
Frost_Ace said:
We've all been there. OP should just be rational for a moment and be honest with this girl, he should ascertain if they want the same thing or not.
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Speak for yourself. We all haven't been there. There are plenty of guys that LIKED a girl, immediately got to know her and asked her out and upon rejection, He moved on.
 
F

FyreWulff

Member
lightskintwin said:
Once again I completely agree. I've met plenty of dudes like that, and in almost all those situations it was a matter of the girl being out of the guy's league but the guy still convincing himself he still has a chance by being good friends with her.

However I would be remiss if I didn't admit that I've seen guys overcome this and stayed persistent and ever vigilant to their goal and ended up achieving it. It's something I would never recommend and IMO is humiliating to endure, not to mention embarrassing to see your boy put himself through that, but it does happen, despite how rare it occurs.
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so in reality the other person more or less settled after a while. have fun being Plan L

it's still not something to encourage.
 
F

FallingEdge

Member
Who are all these nerds trying to change the definition of friend zone? It has always meant that the person wants a romantic relationship but the other person just wants to stay friends. That's it.
 
N

_Nemo

Member
Love makes people do cringeworthy shit. So not gonna dogpile on you OP but make your intentions clear to her.
 
O

Oblivion

Fetishing muscular manly men in skintight hosery
PrivateWHudson said:
When did friend zone get redefined? Back in my day it was a fairly obvious stage of a relationship. Hanging out with friends and you hook up with one of them, but don't close the deal for one reason or another, you lost the shot and are now in the "friend zone". You've relinquished all possible chances of hooking up again. Your still friends, but not romantically and you ask for her help as a wingman. It wasn't some weird long period, it was more of a benchmark that signaled a point of no return.
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Wait, is this the original defintion of friendzone? Cause I thought the definition was pretty straightforward in that it just means you have a friend that you're attracted to who doesn't find you attractive in return, and so you're just "friends".

The idea of friendzones happening because one party waited too long to make a move on the other never made a lick of sense to me. "oh sure, I'm totally attracted to you, but you failed to ask me out in some arbitrary length of time, and so I'm not longer interested"? Come on, son.
 
T

TarpitCarnivore

Member
lightskintwin said:
In general I agree. However I do think a metaphorical friend zone exists and have seen guys make it out of it and eventually date the girl. I realize it's not the majority of experiences, but in the minority, but it does happen.
Click to expand...

I know you mean well but understand the impact of this phrasing. There is nothing to "make it out of". Phrasing it this way implies the man finally got the girl and convinced her to date him.
 
E

excelsiorlef

Member
lightskintwin said:
In general I agree. However I do think a metaphorical friend zone exists and have seen guys make it out of it and eventually date the girl. I realize it's not the majority of experiences, but in the minority, but it does happen.
Click to expand...

Listen to how you're talking.

"Make it out of it" as if friendship with a woman is some horrible pit a man has to try and escape.
 
QuantumZebra

QuantumZebra

Member
FyreWulff said:
the only people that spout the term friendzone are usually frustrated or mentally think kindness coins are a valid currency and should get you laid

it's seriously not even that fucking hard

you know how if you're hetero, and you have hetero people you meet? you decide if they're a friend, foe, meh, etc? yeah the opposite sex is literally the same way. they're normal goddamn people. if you're a dude and a woman doesn't want to be in a romantic relationship with you, respect their goddamn word and move on to looking for a relationship with someone else.


thinking you can "eventually convince" someone or win them over is some not-acknowledging-the-other-person-as-a-person shit


when you say "friendzone" you can read it as "i am a fucking idiot and it's all this other person's fault" See how fucking stupid it sounds?
Click to expand...

This needs to be edited into the OP.
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
cornerman said:
You are definitely in the friend zone. Ultimately, she will let you go once she finds someone she's really interested in. She likely genuinely enjoys time with you, but she's holding out for someone other than you to fill her time romantically. For her, it's better to have something than nothing. I do think you can get out of the friend zone and into a relationship but it takes a bit of trickery. I've seen it work multiple times though. It's not too dastardly, but if you prescribe to 'all is fair in love and war'; then given what you've already done in your relationship, you may be in the perfect position.

Otherwise, just back out of this and spare yourself the eventual heartbreak and anguish.
Click to expand...

What are you talking about? They've been on 50 dates and will be pursuing a relationship just as soon as she's established her career and is more financially stable.
 
QuantumZebra

QuantumZebra

Member
Rorschach said:
I want to crawl in a hole and die and I don't even know these people.
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It's horrifically embarrassing.

I have a lot of female friends and they know we're just friends too. Sometimes we flirt but it's just fucking being human.

Quit putting women on a pedestal. It's insulting to them and makes you look like a fool, folks.
 
M

Monkeyball

Banned
BizzyBum said:
I'm assuming the OP created a new GAF account.
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I'm the OP. A small update guys: I'm helping her with her home situation. She moved into my apartment and I'm going to live with my parents for a while. She also recently got a boyfriend who she is "test" moving in with. If all goes well she will be mine after that.
 
L

lightskintwin

Banned
FyreWulff said:
so in reality the other person more or less settled after a while. have fun being Plan L

it's still not something to encourage.
Click to expand...

Possibly, or he could've made himself more attractive over time after she got to know him. Either way it is something worth noting that it does occur.

TarpitCarnivore said:
I know you mean well but understand the impact of this phrasing. There is nothing to "make it out of". Phrasing it this way implies the man finally got the girl and convinced her to date him.
Click to expand...

I mean that's honestly how it looked like from the outside looking in.

excelsiorlef said:
Listen to how you're talking.

Make it our of it as if friendship with a woman is some horrible pit a man has to try and escape.
Click to expand...

I mean I'm certain for him it was. LOL
 
M

Miles Quaritch

Member
"Thanks for being my gay best friend that isn't gay"

What an incredibly stupid thing to say. I get the point she's trying to make, but there are much better ways to word it.
 
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