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On still being a virgin/virgin shaming.

S

Some Nobody

Junior Member
claviertekky said:
https://kotaku.com/ask-dr-nerdlove-she-s-more-sexually-experienced-and-i-1818664605/amp
Click to expand...

You could at least explain how you feel in relation to this article. Especially when your link has very little to do with the video, which is pretty on point. It should be fine if a person is choosing not to have sex. Doesn't make a woman a prude or a man less of a man.

It's weird that "virgin" is still considered an insult--it's the first thing people lob when they're insulting alt-right folks. And I mean, I'm not saying don't drag alt-right folks if that's your thing. I'm saying maybe think about your terminology. You're still describing virginity as something you shouldn't have past a certain age or there's something "wrong" with you.
 
G

GhostTrick

Banned
Some Nobody said:
You could at least explain how you feel in relation to this article. Especially when your link has very little to do with the video, which is pretty on point. It should be fine if a person is choosing not to have sex. Doesn't make a woman a prude or a man less of a man.

It's weird that "virgin" is still considered an insult--it's the first thing people lob when they're insulting alt-right folks. And I mean, I'm not saying don't drag alt-right folks if that's your thing. I'm saying maybe think about your terminology. You're still describing virginity as something you shouldn't have past a certain age or there's something "wrong" with you.
Click to expand...


It's considered an insult because it's not something some people are by choice. More specifically it's a state some people want to leave but cant for reasons. Virgin as an insult is about a person's inability to not be a virgin anymore despite said's person wish, which is often an attack on that person's ability to interact with a love/sexual interest.
 
W

WrenchNinja

Member
Some Nobody said:
You could at least explain how you feel in relation to this article. Especially when your link has very little to do with the video, which is pretty on point. It should be fine if a person is choosing not to have sex. Doesn't make a woman a prude or a man less of a man.

It's weird that "virgin" is still considered an insult--it's the first thing people lob when they're insulting alt-right folks. And I mean, I'm not saying don't drag alt-right folks if that's your thing. I'm saying maybe think about your terminology. You're still describing virginity as something you shouldn't have past a certain age or there's something "wrong" with you.
Click to expand...
The reason it's brought up with alt-right folks is because a lot of them are also MRA dudes who feel entitled to women and are angry about not getting the sex they think they deserve.
 
V

Vermillion

Banned
Yup, super sucks.

Actually was one of the worst things, tbh. Not quite sure how it is for women, but very much an "ultimate insult" of sorts for men. Probably toxic masculinity and whatnot rearing its head.
 
V

Viewt

Member
If you wanna be a virgin, that's all good. Your body, your choice, after all. I wonder, though, within the breakdown of folks who remain virgins well into adulthood, how many are virgins by choice vs. by lack of opportunity.

Regardless, though, nobody should be made to feel less than for their sexual exploits (or lack thereof) as long as it's all above board.

You do you, virgins.
For obvious reasons.
 
F

Foffy

Banned
I always found the concept of virginity to be odd. As is the case of many things humans symbolize, it's often a think and not a thing. For example, how does one lose virginity? Any sexual experience count? What makes some more "real" than others? Is it penetration? If so, lesbians need props. Is it without a condom? Older generations thought sex with a condom "didn't count." What on your organism dissolves like an invisible yet felt "film" to experience?

What upsets me most is this emphasis on sex that people take so hurtfully by their own feelings of lack. How many people literally harm themselves over this? We've actually seen one person kill people and shoot up a school for this type of negative accumulation of self that got news attention.

All of this because of a conception we use to hallmark status and worth. It's another game of the problem of ego.

No fun.
 
S

Some Nobody

Junior Member
GhostTrick said:
It's considered an insult because it's not something some people are by choice. More specifically it's a state some people want to leave but cant for reasons. Virgin as an insult is about a person's inability to not be a virgin anymore despite said's person wish, which is often an attack on that person's ability to interact with a love/sexual interest.
Click to expand...

Yeah no, I already got why it's an insult. And I'm 100% certain it gets under their skin and all that, but quite frankly I don't think that makes it any better. You're still using the word as an insult. There are plenty of people who aren't alt-right/MRA dickbags who are virgins and would rather not be, y'know?
 
L

lastplayed

Member
tumblr_n8yd28nYXA1rg5dd5o2_250.gif
 
V

Vault Dweller 111

Member
I was late, and it was definitely awkward for those couple years when everyone around me was losing it/becoming experts. Then it happened and I was mad that I cared so much for so long, and thought it was now one of the dumbest insults you can throw at someone.
 
Subpar Spatula

Subpar Spatula

Banned
I wouldn't make fun of someone being a virgin, it's just a way to put down a (usually) guy because they're not as bro as you.

That said, even if you want to get laid but can't you have to do some introspection. These folks perceive the world as looking down on them / finding them undesirable when it's usually a standards / creepy personality (or mix of both) that people don't find attractive. Like, we're in a bro world where thin is in and the rest are ridiculed, so it's permeated the minds of some folks that you don't want to be with someone below the beauty standard as it can be embarrassing for you.
 
I

iirate

Member
Viewt said:
If you wanna be a virgin, that's all good. Your body, your choice, after all. I wonder, though, within the breakdown of folks who remain virgins well into adulthood, how many are virgins by choice vs. by lack of opportunity.

Regardless, though, nobody should be made to feel less than for their sexual exploits (or lack thereof) as long as it's all above board.

You do you, virgins.
For obvious reasons.
Click to expand...

It's not always choice OR a lack of opportunities. I'm 31 and haven't had sex, but not entirely for one reason. There have been people that wanted to sleep with me, and there have been people I've wanted to sleep with, but those two groups have never lined up(at least at the same time). I'm not in a rush to "get it over with", so when I want to have sex with someone and they want to have sex with me, it'll happen. Until then, I've got myself and I'm okay with that.
 
N

Not

Banned
There are better things to do than reproduce all the time, despite what every single one of your hundreds of millions of ancestors believed
 
Z

Zelenogorsk

Banned
If someone insults you for being a virgin then you should probably cut that person out of your life ASAP because they're an asshole.

As far as still being a virgin let's just say I'm working on it.
 
1

1044

Member
Some Nobody said:
Yeah no, I already got why it's an insult. And I'm 100% certain it gets under their skin and all that, but quite frankly I don't think that makes it any better. You're still using the word as an insult. There are plenty of people who aren't alt-right/MRA dickbags who are virgins and would rather not be, y'know?
Click to expand...

Funny how self-proclaimed fighters for social justice actively promote and participate in shaming virgins and those who live at home. Can't we all come up with something new?
 
F

FStubbs

Member
Subpar Spatula said:
I wouldn't make fun of someone being a virgin, it's just a way to put down a (usually) guy because they're not as bro as you.

That said, even if you want to get laid but can't you have to do some introspection. These folks perceive the world as looking down on them / finding them undesirable when it's usually a standards / creepy personality (or mix of both) that people don't find attractive. Like, we're in a bro world where thin is in and the rest are ridiculed, so it's permeated the minds of some folks that you don't want to be with someone below the beauty standard as you aren't attracted to them.
Click to expand...

FTFY.

Some men are just creepy and should just own it.
 
cromofo

cromofo

Member
Losing your virginity is nothing special tbh. But it's still kinda odd if you're in your mid 20s+

Fake it till you make it if it bothers you.
 
S

Some Nobody

Junior Member
iirate said:
It's not always choice OR a lack of opportunities. I'm 31 and haven't had sex, but not entirely for one reason. There have been people that wanted to sleep with me, and there have been people I've wanted to sleep with, but those two groups have never lined up(at least at the same time). I'm not in a rush to "get it over with", so when I want to have sec with someone and they want to have sex with me, it'll happen. Until then, I've got myself and I'm okay with that.
Click to expand...

This is a good perspective to have, actually.
 
J

Jeff-DSA

Member
Choosing to remain a virgin doesn't make you a loser. Society choosing for you to remain a virgin does, however.

I kid.

It's honestly one of those things that really just isn't anybody's business. Asking about someone's virginity is always in poor taste. I really think we could have benefited by leaving that question in the past along with A/S/L? in chat rooms.
 
L

Laiza

Member
100% agreed with the premise.

If I die a virgin that shouldn't be some kind of slight against me. If I live as a virgin that shouldn't be some kind of go-to "burn" that automatically invalidates my perspective on unrelated (and they are nearly always unrelated) matters.

Really, outside of anything to do with performing sex acts, which is the only place where this sort of thing is actually relevant, it shouldn't matter at all. There's this bizarre attitude surrounding sex that makes it feel like some kind of compulsory, mandatory activity that everyone must go through at some point, and it's just ridiculous. The whole thing is ridiculous. It's not nearly amazing or transformative enough an experience to warrant the kind of weight so many cultures place on it.
 
N

NoblesseOblige

Banned
Widdle Puppy said:
eh, it def kinda is most of the time.
Click to expand...

On the first page of a random sample of 10 threads discussing the alt-right 'Virgin' only showed up twice and both are because it's talking about 'Virginia'. Bigot shows up in 8 of them, racist shows up in 7, Idiot shows up 3, and islamphobe shows up 1 time.

So no, I do not think Virgin is a first go-to for insulting the alt-right.
 
A

Addi

Member
I'm not sure I agree with the part where he says that it is now as shameful to say you are not having sex as it was to say you had a lot sex before the sexual revolution. I see what he is trying to do, but the wording makes it almost seem like there's no slut shaming today.
 
M

mambadragon

Banned
I say this as a married white straight Christian man... The virginity taboo is super overrated... And PLEASE PLEASE don't continue with any thought that having had intercourse will change your life in any way.

I'm an addict with a Masters of Science in Electrical Engineering, and this has led to me being in MANY MANY situations where my brain overcomes logic. I have a ridiculously beautiful wife (you can image search my my old GAF posts if you're so inclined) yet I still struggle everyday. I know we're not going through the same things, but I still feel like I can relate in some way, so if there's any way I can help please PM me.
 
P

Pau

Member
Vermillion said:
Yup, super sucks.

Actually was one of the worst things, tbh. Not quite sure how it is for women, but very much an "ultimate insult" of sorts for men. Probably toxic masculinity and whatnot rearing its head.
Click to expand...
Not thrown around anywhere near as much. But it felt pretty bad because the assumption is that sex as a woman is so easy to get. So there must be something seriously wrong with you if not a single guy has ever wanted to do that with you.
 
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