Janrell: Hi, I'm Ceres Janrell, Ryan's supervisor. Please give me a few minutes while I check this.
Me: Hi Ceres. Thanks. Ryan is a good guy but I think he was tired me with being insistent. I don't blame him.
Janrell: I'm sorry for that.
This is regarding the pricing issue with the Nintendo Wii U 32GB ZombiU Premium Pack, right?
Me: No. This is about me ordering a Black Wii U in June (order #203-4400883-3472330) and having it cancelled. Subsequently people ordered the same item at the same price last week and their orders are being fulfilled.
Janrell: Yes, it was cancelled in June due to being incorrectly listed. It was made available again, but the price is incorrect. There were people who re-ordered it at 199.00 GBP and those are the ones we can fulfil.
Me: There are people on this dreaded Internet who have had their June orders re-instated or have today been allowed to make new orders at the incorrect price. I can link to them if you'd like but I'm an honest guy. All I'm hoping for is that I get the same treatment as them.
Janrell: I believe that we did not reinstate the orders made in June, and no one should've been allowed to make new orders now at the incorrect price.
Me: So does this mean some of your contemporaries are operating outside of the rules? I don't want to start an internal investigation but it seems like you've got some rebels on the team.
Janrell: If there were reps who promised to honour the incorrect price, that would be incorrect.
I'll pass this on to the relevant department so it will be investigated. Nonetheless, we really can't offer the item at 199.00 GBP. I'm sorry for this.
Me: I get what you're saying, Ceres. Now I don't know this MichH dude I'm about to quote but his words have touched me, you know? "I didn't have a problem getting the price changed at all. The rep just checked my old order and told me to make a new order for the premium. He then changed the price. No begging, no convincing. It seems to depend on the different reps and how they handle things."
(PS. I was only joking about the investigation)
Janrell: Based on that, it does seem that there were reps who handled it incorrectly. I'll alert all the teams in the interim.
Oh. But it really has to be investigated.
Me: I meant more in a Dirty Harry sort of way. Internal Affairs and that sort of thing.
Janrell: Oh. I see.
Me: I'm sorry for this nonsense. It's been a long day at work. So I can tell you're trying to say "no" but do you really mean that? Maybe, just this once, the good guy can come out on top. I feel like this is something you have the power to do.
Janrell: I'm really sorry. I can't deviate from the policy. We're unable to offer it at 199.00 GBP.
Me: How about £199.99 GBP? It's a Christmas present to myself but I can pretend there's a wee orphan boy if you prefer.
Janrell: I really can't, David.
Me: You're breaking my heart, Ceres.
Janrell: I apologise for the disappointment.
Me: What about if I promise to buy dinner? A trip to the cinema?
The money I save on this WiiU could become a wonderful gift.
Janrell: Sorry, David. I hope you'll understand.
Me: I know. We've grown apart. Can we still be friends?
Janrell: I guess we can.
Again, I'm sorry that we can't reach an agreeable solution.
Would there be anything else aside from this?
Me: Perhaps not today but feelings can change over time. I'll still hold a candle for you in my heart, Ceres. Whenever the wind whistles through the leaves, I'll think "Lowenstein", "Lowenstein".