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[SamuelSupreme]

GAF, Im heated right now so my perspective may be a bit fucked up right now so please call me out if I'm being an ass.

The last 24hours quite stressful for me. Im coming up on my 1 year anniversary at work. I have a single paid vacation day left that Ill lose on Nov 9. Monday was supposed to be my day off but someone called in sick so I had to come in no biggie Ill just take it on Tuesday.

When I get home at 5, I see that theres a problem with my internet and after 3 hours I get it resolved. I then get a message from my boss informing me of a interview with head office for a position I've been working towards all year. Logistically it just works out better for me going into work rather than commute to the place of the interview and back home etc.

So im up late last night prepping for my interview.

I wake up early as shit this Morning for work, not really feeling all that well, but whatever opportunity.

Halfway into work my girl calls me we exchange pleasebtries and she asks me how im doing, I say stressed and I basically tell her all that had happened with me etc.

This venting session lasts right up until I pull into my parking spot at work, with 4 hours to go before my big interview. I say I got to go Im at work now. To which she repsonds you didn't even ask what am I up to and then BOOM. She starts fighting with me calling me selfish for not wanting to hear what shes up to.

I ask her if this is a reoccurring theme, if Im frequently not inquiring about her day, how she is etc. To which she replies no this is an isolated incident and she was just making an observation.

Again im floored asking her if she couldnt wait until after the interview to bring up her observation because clearly shes not happy about it. Etc.

Everything spins out of control from there. I just finished the interview, I think I did well, just not as well as I could have because I was in the middle of a fight prior to it.

Now I feel wronged but Im also heated so I may not be as self aware or willing to see things from her perspective. So Im asking GAF to just check me and let me know if im being a selfish ass or if Im in the right.

Iunno I just needed a place to vent. Im stressed as fuck right now with life and I have a killer migraine right now.

 

[rootbeerafloat]

let it go

 

[ElRenoRaven]

So she admits you are normally caring and attentive. No it's her not you. She's being the ass.

 

[ElectricBlanketFire]

Sounds like you need to relax and listen to her.

 

[MattKeil]

In her position it wouldn't even occur to me to complain about that considering what you were dealing with in the moment. At most, bring it up later, but if it's an isolated incident it's obviously due to the stress of current events, so why bother? I don't think you did anything wrong or selfish, particularly if you're willing to be on the other end of her venting session during a stressful time for her.

 

[Mr. Giggles]

Remember the penguins.

That's all I have to say about that.

 

[xxracerxx]

Let it go or put a bug in her food to get back at her!

 

[ZombieLPK]

Given that it was just the once by her own admission and the understandable stress you were under I'd say that she should have understood and let it go, or at least waited until after your interview.

 

[Darryl M R]

Nah. You are stressed and have an opportunity in your life. Someone should be understanding that a person's focus can't always be split.


Make sure she didn't flip on you because she felt a certain type of way about you bettering yourself. But stress can transfer to others. You should talk to her and let her know her actions were completely unacceptable and threw you off for your big interview.

If this is the only bad thing in your relationship talk through it but if this is adding to a bubble then don't wait until it bursts.

 

[Mikeside]

You're stressed, maybe she's stressed too.

Tell her you're sorry but that it's not something you do often, then ask how she is.

Be the one to nip the argument in the bud. If you have a good relationship, you'll move past it and neither of you will hang onto resentment.

 

[ZOONAMI]

Chill op. I would just say oh sry I didn't ask. How's your day going?

Or I would just ignore it and say hey I was very busy at work what with the interview and I couldn't get back to you right away.

For future reference.

Let it go. Nothing to worry about Op. She even said you're not a dick all the time so you're golden. You could talk to her about hey why are you freaking out about me not saying something when I'm busy, but my guess is she already understands this and you're just fanning flames for no reason. If it happens again and it's stressing you out, sure have a convo about it.

 

[Two Words]

I may be wrong about this, but I think I recall you making several threads that involve you becoming upset because of the way you were treated. Whether or not her or others did you wrong, I think you should consider how others affect you when you don't like how it is goinf. Like in this case, I don't think you should have allowed this fight to affect your interview at all. Do you feel that things have to stop and get settled ASAP if somebody wrongs you?

Basically, compartmentalizing your life is a very important skill.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Just say you're sorry and move on. Sometimes there are fights over stupid things.

 

[David Incorporated Esq.]

Did you only come on GAF to vent, without even asking how GAF is doing?

So selfish.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Just say you're sorry and move on. Sometimes there are fights over stupid things.

Yep. You don't know where she's coming from, just like she didn't fully appreciate where you were at that time.

 

[Mighty Chin]

Sounds like a shitty girlfriend.

 

[Fury451]

So she admits you are normally caring and attentive. No it's her not you. She's being the ass.

Sounds like you need to relax and listen to her.

Both of these are true.

 

[weekev]

Did you only come on GAF to vent, without even asking how GAF is doing?

So selfish.

X2 I feel so used OP, you clearly only care about yourself, I thought this was a 2 way relationship. We are so done.

Spoiler

in all seriousness she needs to realise your in a high stress situation and should probably cut you some slack. That being said, if it were me I'd probably call her on the way home, apologise for being an ass then find out all about her day without even mentioning the interview unless she asked.

 

[shintoki]

Judging by your other threads, it's you, not her.

 

[adamsappel]

She wasn't listening, she was waiting for her turn to talk.

 

[Shmuppers]

What I've learned is to always answer "fine" and then immediately ask the girl how she is doing. 9/10 times the girl wants to talk about herself.

 

[Boney]

Tell her the interview was more important than her.

Bam problem solved

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Sounds like a drama queen who needs to be centre of attention at all times.

You should have hung up the moment she made your stresses about her and how she feels.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Sounds like a drama queen who needs to be centre of attention at all times.

You should have hung up the moment she made your stresses about her and how she feels.

I mean, you're saying this about a person who wasn't even asked how she was doing. Your argument can go both ways. Perspective.

 

[maxcriden]

You'll get plenty of advice on the other matters, but regarding your migraine, I'm sorry to hear it and I can empathize. Some things you can try to alleviate the migraine: napping, drinking something with caffeine (don't do this one if you get chronic migraines though, it can cause rebound headaches), taking Aleve as directed by the package (there are use restrictions on this to avoid rebound headaches also), laying down on your back, in a dark bedroom with a cold washcloth over your face, analgesic pain patches like Salonpas on your neck, or icyhot or something on your neck... just some ideas. I hope that helps.

(Do you get chronic migraines? If so, you should consider seeking a neurology consult.)

 

[Tom Penny]

Just apologize and keep it moving .

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I mean, you're saying this about a person who wasn't even asked how she was doing. Your argument can go both ways. Perspective.

She knew he was stressed and still made it about herself.

She could have realised he was stressed and not added to matters, but she chose to do the childish thing. There's no two sides to the argument here, what she did was supremely selfish.

 

[FrontalMonk]

I think you probably need to cool down a little and then call her up or meet up with her tonight and apologize for not asking about what was going on in her life and admitting that it was probably insensitive to take over the conversation, but to also acknowledge that you were (and are) in a pretty high stress point in your life so you're going to need to vent some when things are hitting the fan. At that point, ask if you can start over and hit the reset button and then ask how her day was. Always works for me with the missus because by the time you get to the end of the day you're probably both exhausted and don't really want to argue about much of anything and it's just easier to bury the hatchet...but you probably will still need to be the one to initiate that process.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Stupid fights over nothing aren't really anything new or anything to be worried about. Let it go, do the interview and just talk to her when you get home. You'll both have forgotten about it by tomorrow.

 

[1044]

Ask yourself if her behavior is a reoccurring theme or isolated incident, because is sounds like she's the one being an ass.

 

[tearsintherain]

Are you the kind of person who likes to talk a lot? Is she as well? Might not be a good fit.

I hate talking. My wife loves to talk. Works out great. Note that not liking to talk does not mean I like listening, I just tune out and think about games or TV shows or books or whatever while people talk to me. Most of the time its great, you get really good at making the right sounds and face gestures and people just want a face to vent to.

Sure, I know I'm kind of an asshole for not really listening but then again I really don't give a shit about your problems with Janice in accounting and its a boring story so why am I the asshole for listening to you vent for 45 minutes?

I also have a dog and it is the greatest thing in the world for staring raptly at you while you wax philosophically on the stupidest shit in the world.

Keep in mind as well while your problems may seem like the biggest deal in the world to you, they may not to her and she may be having problems just as large.

 

[HStallion]

Its over OP. Dump her and move to the woods and live out the rest of your life as a hermit.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

She knew he was stressed and still made it about herself.

She could have realised he was stressed and not added to matters, but she chose to do the childish thing. There's no two sides to the argument here, what she did was supremely selfish.

I agree that it seems childish of her from OP's side, but it also really isn't too much to expect that your partner is going to ask about you. I do it literally every conversation and text, regardless of my situation.

 

[dskillzhtown]

There is always more to the story than what gets posted here, so hard for any of us to make a judgement call either way. Usually the OP in this thread is slanted overwhelmingly in the favor of who is posting.

But when a partner explodes seemingly "out of nowhere", it isn't out of nowhere. It is something that has been on their mind and building up for some time.

 

[torre_avenue]

I'm not going to pretend I'm super knowledgeable when it comes to relationships, but I think that you're both wrong. You, because you just dumped all this info on your S.O. without asking her what's up with her or why she called you so early in the morning. Her, because if it's been obvious you've been really stressed or she knows how much this position means to you, then her snapping on you isn't the right thing to do.

Either way, neither of you have an exclusive right to be angry, so calm the hell down, talk this out with her, and mutually apologize. And whatever you do, if you don't end up getting the position, don't be an ass and resort to blaming it wholly on her. And all the posts here insulting the girl without knowing what the hell is going on in her life are completely unwarranted and immature.

 

[thecouncil]

maybe she was having a bad day too.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I agree that it seems childish of her from OP's side, but it also really isn't too much to expect that your partner is going to ask about you. I do it literally every conversation and text, regardless of my situation.

It's a lot to ask when he's stressed and needs to focus, why does she need constant reassurance that he cares?

She knew his situation but that didn't matter to her so I'd question how much she actually cares about OP when her first response to his stresses is why didn't you ask how I am.

Selfish, self centred, uncaring, lack of understanding all come to mind...

 

[TimeEffect]

I agree that it seems childish from OP's side, but it also really isn't too much to expect that your partner is going to ask about you. I do it literally every conversation and text, regardless of my situation.

But it seems really petty to fight with OP about it, after knowing how his day was. Just comes off as pretending to ask about his day so that she can be asked about hers... if it's that important she should just spit it out or tell OP she has something to say, or save it for later when OP is done.

Not ask about his day and use that as leverage to tell OP he doesn't ask her back. Who has time for games like that?

Unless OP never asks/is withholding something, but this would be a really strange time to bring it up, since OP responds quite heavily. I assume OP asks regularly enough and that this just didn't blow up from repeated offenses.

If it's a one time thing, then it's just a lapse in judgment, but if it happens often, then she sounds really childish.

 

[norm9]

Say sorry even if you don't mean it.

 

[M52B28]

Sounds like a high-school relationship argument from what I've just read. Just say you're sorry, simple as that.

 

[Carcetti]

Judging by your other threads, it's you, not her.

I thought you were joking until I clicked on 'other threads started by'...

If you keep getting into trouble with your girlfriends, family, coworkers, bosses, managers... There's always that one linking factor between those people.

I mean, this thread is from the same production company as
- My white Manager says my ringtone makes him uncomfortable
- Anyone ever work with a Snitch?
- I think I accidentally insulted my girlfriend. What should I do?
- Ever had a CoWorker that wont STFU about their personal life?
- Is it fair to hate your Father for how he treats your Mother?
- Is my Manager a Jerk or am I just stupid?

 

[Mammoth Jones]

let it go

This. This should be a very minor blip in the relationship. Sometimes you just in a funky mood and things don't gel. Don't turn a molehill into a mountain.

 

[DustyVonEric]

Nope, OP. You right.

Your GF was the selfish one. That wasn't the time for drama. And for you to be still pissed shows you need to talk to her about it.

And if she won't hear it, or doesn't understand where you're coming from, it's time for your next girlfriend.

 

[TheSpoiler]

I thought you were joking until I clicked on 'other threads started by'...

If you keep getting into trouble with your girlfriends, family, coworkers, bosses, managers... There's always that one linking factor between those people.

I mean, this thread is from the same production company as
- My white Manager says my ringtone makes him uncomfortable
- Anyone ever work with a Snitch?
- I think I accidentally insulted my girlfriend. What should I do?
- Ever had a CoWorker that wont STFU about their personal life?
- Is it fair to hate your Father for how he treats your Mother?
- Is my Manager a Jerk or am I just stupid?

Papertrail.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I thought you were joking until I clicked on 'other threads started by'...

If you keep getting into trouble with your girlfriends, family, coworkers, bosses, managers... There's always that one linking factor between those people.

I mean, this thread is from the same production company as
- My white Manager says my ringtone makes him uncomfortable
- Anyone ever work with a Snitch?
- I think I accidentally insulted my girlfriend. What should I do?
- Ever had a CoWorker that wont STFU about their personal life?
- Is it fair to hate your Father for how he treats your Mother?
- Is my Manager a Jerk or am I just stupid?

If this is the same girlfriend who got offended because he was polite (just read op of that thread, will check the entire thread later), then I'd say it's her and she's looking for reasons to start drama.

 

[xxracerxx]

Judging by your other threads, it's you, not her.

Still waiting for the OP to ever return to the I Found A Bug in My Food thread.

 

[Enco]

Sounds like a drama queen who needs to be centre of attention at all times.

You should have hung up the moment she made your stresses about her and how she feels.

This.

edit: lol at the gf defense force. If she isn't listening/being supportive and instead gets mad.. then that shows she's self-centred/doesn't give a shit.

 

[jgwhiteus]

I think you both have reason to feel annoyed by the other's behavior but for the good of the relationship I wouldn't "keep score" on this on who was more justified in feeling annoyed.

On her side, even if you were in a lot of stress people still appreciate having their partner check in and making sure they're also alright - you shouldn't check out of the relationship every time something stressful comes up (after all, stress happens a lot in life). Even if they end up saying "everything's fine," just the act of asking how they're doing shows you're thinking about them, even if your'e justifiably preoccupied with your own concerns.

On your side, your stress was understandable and even if she felt annoyed, she could have waited to bring this up with you after your interview was over rather than right before, and have the discussion in a calm way rather than getting into an argument ("Although I understand you were stressed, I felt a little hurt because you didn't check in on how I was doing. I want to be supportive of you, but I also appreciate knowing you're thinking about how I'm doing also.")

Whoever is "more justified" in feeling annoyed is besides the point. If you don't want this to be a bigger issue just calmly apologize for not checking in and let her know you will try to do better in the future, and if she's reasonable she will admit to her own fault and do the same.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Sounds like she called to talk about something that she wanted to talk about, but when she asked you what's up, you had something to talk about that took up all the time. So she got a little upset, and it escalated to something more.

It's probably time to break up. Sorry to break it to you.

Spoiler

jk, just making fun of how on here, people seem to always react with that.

kinda like this VVVV

And if she won't hear it, or doesn't understand where you're coming from, it's time for your next girlfriend.

 

[zoukka]

Nope, OP. You right.

Your GF was the selfish one. That wasn't the time for drama. And for you to be still pissed shows you need to talk to her about it.

And if she won't hear it, or doesn't understand where you're coming from, it's time for your next girlfriend.

Fucking Gaf and the virgin advice.