For me its less about feeling ashamed to be a gamer and more of I just don't feel like I relate to the current general makeup of "Gamers".
Right. I've always been self defined by the games I've played/are playing. I rented games almost every weekend as a kid. I was also the only kid on the block with a console around launch. I always thought gaming was somewhat underground in terms of hardcore fans. Mainly because Japanese imports were cool and not that many people locally knew what I was into.
Fast forward to midnight launches at EB in the late 90's and early 2000's. Then on to downloading digitally in 2014 and up.
I remember the 360 coming out and Microsoft's slogan was "Jump In". Sure I was 19/20 when this happened, but it had everything. Marketing was the feel good, "I want to play that game", good graphics type of marketing. Games were again, getting better or at least had a larger following of people. I could wear a Turok shirt and still feel good about it cause they were "bringing it back".
Last gen had its highs and lows, but toward the end mobile got a lot better, tablets became a thing, indie games got bigger than some AAA games, MOBA and F2P/P2W became a thing. Online celebrities were making money for just streaming the same game we bought for $60.
My point is, I bought into it and I enjoyed it. I've always enjoyed it. Now it has the similar feeling, but I'm not enjoying some parts of it. I'm not enjoying what is bringing in the billions of dollars on the side. I'm not enjoying what gets millions of views on Twitch or even YouTube. I'm enjoying the hottest AAA game, but it lasts me maybe a couple weeks to a month at best.
That's ok because there's always going to be books we don't like or movies that don't appeal to us. It just feels like we followed the golden trail to Oz. Like I followed gaming up until I found something I didn't enjoy.
I thought when I knew what each shooter felt like on 360 or how each action game felt on PS2/3 made me enjoy gaming more. Now a days I see a lot of similar games and game types and they don't interest me. I enjoy sequels, but I feel like lost sometimes.
I enjoy gaming, but I see what you're saying. The marketing for gaming was also something I enjoyed. Now a days there's so much saturation. There's games out there that are getting millions of players and I feel like I don't exist. If that makes sense?
I feel like I'm still a gamer. That I still buy games, but I feel like the industry is trying to grab more and more people than keep the ones they do have. Which to my understanding is how you market your product. Sonic Mania is bringing back retro Sonic. That's great and all, but there's also hundreds or thousands of game designers making games that aren't for me.
I feel like I'm being selfish or I'm not considering the whole business side of things. But another part feels like the gaming moments I once held dear to my heart are getting further and further apart. It only matters if I pick and choose a single game to focus on and ignore the rest of the gaming world. It makes sense, but on a larger corporate/commercial market. Lol sorry if this is just one giant rant. It's been on my mind for some time now.