Hot Coldman
Banned
That's right - today, November the 15th 2015, marks 10 years since Shadow the Hedgehog - Sonic Team's second original title in the Sonic series for non-SEGA home consoles - was released in North America for PlayStation 2, Nintendo Gamecube and Microsoft Xbox. It was the first title in the series since Tails Adventure on the Game Gear to not star Sonic in the leading role (although he is technically playable); instead, the star of the show is Shadow, introduced 4 years previous in Sonic Adventure 2 as the ultimate lifeform and edgy counterpart to the blue blur.
That's right, this is a hedgehog without boundaries, leading to such classic exclamations as...
...and...
Oh, and of course, HE USES A FUCKING GUN, WOAAAAHHH
Of course, this game is complete trash. Very few of the egregiously edgy takes on platforming series in the PS2 era were much good
Jak II still makes my blood boil
Each level had 2 or 3 separate exits depending on how you completed the level. Should you follow the evil route, you'll progress down an dark path of domination led by the generic as fuck alien overlord Black Doom - this usually involves gunning down the "good" enemies, like GUN soldiers. Alternatively you could team up with the hero character - characters like Sonic, Amy, the Chaotix and so on - and accomplish more altruistic goals. Or you could just run to the goal ring and go down the neutral path. That last option was generally the best way to play, because the game made no effort to differentiate between whether you were playing hero or villain, with enemies firing at you regardless. Like I say: zero thought put into this.
The different paths through the game's 22 stages (with 3 different possible final bosses) made for a total of 326 POSSIBLE STORIES, all as asinine as the last. Highlights include Shadow thinking he's a robot version of the Shadow from SA2, and also murdering Eggman in cold blood. There's only 10 distinct endings in total, mind. Once you unlock all of them - yes, that involves finishing the game 10 times - you unlock the actual ending as per modern Sonic game tradition.
Just breathe that mess in, folks. (Wait, does that say Blue Falcon)
Shadow also got to drive vehicles in this one, which is hilarious considering Shadow is basically dark Sonic, and Sonic is the fastest thing alive. Needless to say, they were crap, and just like the weapons they were 100% optional to use, making one wonder why Sonic Team didn't put their time and energy into something more useful, like deleting the game code. Amazingly enough, this somehow is perfectly playable and cohorent compared to the next Sonic game to come out after this, but that's really not saying much. (Funnily enough, that game enjoys its own 10th anniversary next year, November 14th...)
The one thing that I will say about this game is that its vocal themes are hilariously cheesy. Crush fucking 40, folks.
Anyway, feel free to share memories of the time you may have spent playing this complete load of trash.