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My French assistant has a thing for me...

Antoon

Banned
Since Sep. of last year I hired her to help with animation in my studio place. She never went to art classes before, but she does have one of those looney degrees that is called 'art history', and she knows the basic stuff of drawing.

It was a really slow process for her to get anything done, but while it was super slow she did get things done in a decent manner. During the months of her coming over she told me more about her past, and that she is actually depressed, and has anxiety issues (which were kinda obvious from the start). We talked a lot about the solutions, and I always tried to get her to the gym and make her take cold showers, but she gave up soon after the first try. The more I got to know her, the more often she started to unveil her dark days (mood swings), I mean she wasnt showing it to me, but she kept telling me about her suicide feelings. I was not sure if she was serious half of the time, as we do like black humour.

The past 2 months she seemed to have more of those days, and she acts more vulnurable. Tells me about her crying nights and how she doesnt want to do absolutely anything when she comes back home (she works as a kindergarden teacher as well), so she just stays in bed, miserable.

I always knew she had feelings for me from the beginning, but I always played safe and kept her in the friendzone. I just dont see us being a couple, though she's a cute girl on the goth/80's music scale. Her parents are probably pressuring her to get shit done in life, like marry etc. But I think the biggest issue is that she thinks she should be doing more fun and interesting things for her 26th age. Kinda sounds like shes entitled to things, and I blame social media here, she lurks a lot in FB and kiwifarms. I always joke around like shes a Doomette from the Doomer meme, but she gets mad.

Few days ago she has a breakdown at my studio, she cried and I tried to comfort her. She keeps telling how theres nobody else who listens to her but me etc. How I am the only one who cares for her. And of course this puts me in the situation of being seen as a prince to her. She gave so many signs how she wants to get in a relationship with me but I always act oblivious, and she also gets really frustrated whenever I bring up our other mutual guy friends who may be that someone for her.

So long story short, Im not sure what should I do, because she does have suicidal tendencies. I fear if I tell her I dont like her that way she may do something really stupid. Another idea was to hook her up with some other singles I know, but that would still require a painful talk with her.

What would French people do?
 

Antoon

Banned
Explain to her that your morals and ethics don’t allow for romance with a coworker
Well, we've been friends ever since she started working for me. Hung out, went to eat, events etc. We are definitely on friend level, and I want it to stay that way.
 
"What are your plans to get yourself out of this slump, because we can work together but I can't be your life coach."

Either she needs to grow up, she needs someone not-her-boss to provide counseling/psychology, or she's trying to get in your pants and #metoo you in 8 months.

Completely ignore her (potential) romantic feelings. Playing the naive man is better than explaining to the Twitter mob why you "sexually assaulted" your assistant.
 
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Well, we've been friends ever since she started working for me. Hung out, went to eat, events etc. We are definitely on friend level, and I want it to stay that way.
That’s fine. That’s not romance.

As an employer you have responsibilities to your employees. Romance is not one of them. In fact it’s the opposite.

So tell her that. It would be extremely unprofessional.

Also... DOCUMENT THE BEHAVIOR NOW if you already haven’t. Including the conversation of how you explained to her a romantic relationship with one of your subordinates would be unprofessional.
 

Antoon

Banned
Don't touch her or be with her in a room alone again. You're looking for trouble.

She is the only person working in the office in the morning hours lol Its pretty impossible not to be in the same room when I have to supervise her work
 

Bullet Club

Banned
Eat her croissant if you know what I am saying.
DnoWrTF.jpg
 

Antoon

Banned
I know right. This chick has #MeToo written all over her. He’s snookered though because she will probably claim it if he fires her now.

I dont think she'd ever do such a thing, she just doesnt seem to have that evil in her nature.
 
I dont think she'd ever do such a thing, she just doesnt seem to have that evil in her nature.
My cousin didnt let her ex husband see their three kids for 6 months because he got a gf after an agreed amicable divorce.

Dont stick your dick in her. Or the girl from your work either
 

Uhtred

Gold Member
I would go for it if she was pretty and if there was an attraction there.
 
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Barnabot

Member
If you like trouble then go get her. Just don`t ever fire her or dump her because she had already developed some obsession with you and if things go south then she`s probably gonna throw you under the bus.
 

Antoon

Banned
Maybe it was my fault for hanging out with her in those few days outside work, like when she showed me a whole area of haunted buildings etc. I really liked that stuff, but I guess it was another sign for her that I would be interested in her.
3803949e1bbf04969b7dc4ebafbfaa14
 

iconmaster

Banned
Also... DOCUMENT THE BEHAVIOR NOW if you already haven’t. Including the conversation of how you explained to her a romantic relationship with one of your subordinates would be unprofessional.

Quoted for emphasis.

You’re on really thin ice here. She suffers from both anxiety and depression. You’ve seen yourself how unpredictable her behavior is from day to day. It doesn’t matter how nice you think she is, if one day she decides you’re the problem suddenly all those ego-boosting interactions are going to look like something very different.

It doesn’t really seem to me like she’s much of an employee, but if you’re going to keep her around you should have plans in place for protecting your career from her.

It’s not about being kind – continue to do so – but being wise.
 
Well, we've been friends ever since she started working for me. Hung out, went to eat, events etc. We are definitely on friend level, and I want it to stay that way.

This is your problem then. Hanging out a lot.

Being mutual friends means to stick to a professional work ettiquite and doing extra curricular activities now and again.

She needs to get help from her family and possibly a psychologist first before she comes to you. She sounds like she is pressuring you and being oblivious only lasts so long before she starts being more extreme with her love for you.

Help her but don't go out of your way to appear like you will do everythinf for her. She is going to keep relying on you until you either upset her by saying the wrong thing or you end up getting exhausted from her constant problems as she sees that you can be leaned on most of the day.

Maybe she has a baguette 🥖 😮

So...you are saying she already has the DB? 😎
 
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highrider

Banned
If you’re not interested why are you allowing it to go beyond a office friendship? If you’re having intimate conversations about mental health and depression you’re sending signals yourself. If you’re going to work with females alone you need to nip that in the bud and be like yo, TMI there frenchy, I don’t want to know all your personal stuff. Get on your animations, that’s what I hired you to do. Also word to the wise, females, particularly young and unstable ones, not real good with rejection.
 

Wings 嫩翼翻せ

so it's not nice
I think you should be careful. This sounds a lot like how things were before I dated my ex-girlfriend... granted, we were friends for three (3) years before we dated so I (thought I) knew her a great deal. However, the peak crazy and nonsense emotional problems was after we started dating (I however was skeptical about dating for a while before deciding to for fear of these issues).

I'm gonna tell you that no matter how good the girl may look or be under the sheets, it is not worth dealing with the B.S.

That's if you're thinking of banging her. I'm not French, but my French self would say "Arrêtez tout ici."
 

Barsinister

Banned
What does her being French have to do with it? Is it so we conjure up images of little skimpy maid uniforms? Are you looking for a high five?
 
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