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[-ImaginaryInsider]

That seems odd. Don't see the point in her doing that and trying to justify to his mom. Were the ex and his mom close or something? Did OP show his mom the proof that she lied?

The mom was at his place for emotional support, and likely to force the ex and her loudmouth friend to behave. The ex showed up, the mom asked what happened, and the ex turned the whole thing around.

It's not odd, the ex is just a really thoughtless and manipulative person.

 

[Tecnniqe]

Yo OP is good lookin

 

[Twookie]

man, this was a great fucking thread

 

[vypek]

Another interesting part is that they turned up again while his parents were there, totally prepared. It might have been a coincidence or they might have staked out OP's place.

Referring to ex-GF showing up with her friend? I'm guessing prepared to lie to the parents or is it something else

The mom was at his place for emotional support, and likely to force the ex and her loudmouth friend to behave. The ex showed up, the mom asked what happened, and the ex turned the whole thing around.

It's not odd, the ex is just a really thoughtless and manipulative person.

Ah, gotcha. It seems odd to me only in that I don't see what the ex has to gain. I'd expect manipulative people to manipulate for their benefit but I suppose there are the types who will do it for no reason

 

[Servbot24]

The mom was at his place for emotional support, and likely to force the ex and her loudmouth friend to behave. The ex showed up, the mom asked what happened, and the ex turned the whole thing around.

It's not odd, the ex is just a really thoughtless and manipulative person.

The ex is probably trying to convince herself she's not a bad person as much as convince anyone else.

 

[Lucumo]

She would have recognised my parents car parked outside, so she knew they were there.

That's why they didn't come in shouting and screaming, or the friend didn't rather.

Which is what I mean by staking out. I doubt they can see the car from the friend's place, right? Well, it also depends on how fast they joined after your parents arrived.

Referring to ex-GF showing up with her friend? I'm guessing prepared to lie to the parents or is it something else

The whole lying part, telling stories, fake tears etc. Maybe it's possible to improvise, I doubt that though...would be horrible otherwise.

 

[nilbog21]

https://streamable.com/edcz

holy... shit LMAOOOOOO

 

[Fallen92]

This thread is the thread that keeps on giving.

OP you seem to have handled this situation perfectly, hopefully it's just smooth sailing from here on out and I hope that you'll be able to nave past this horrible situation.

 

[idonteven]

thats a good looking dude tho

wont have much problems finding some new girls

 

[smokeyp]

https://streamable.com/edcz

This is the most amazing thing.

 

[theJwac]

OP, I've been watching with bated breath as this thread has become the legend it now is. I just wanted to send you best wishes from Arizona.

Thank you for creating what has become my favorite thread since "The Truth About Kazenone".

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

man, this was a great fucking thread

Was?

These are early days, the ex hasn't even truly begun to screw with the OP yet.

This thread has another 20-40 pages left in it.

 

[BibiMaghoo]

Are they still there now OP? Are you updating us live? You may as well get a Twitch up.

 

[Pankratous]

https://streamable.com/edcz

This has nearly 20k views, holy shit lool

 

[OCD Guy]

thats a good looking dude tho

wont have much problems finding some new girls

Thanks again for the kind words (goes to everyone) but I wish I lived the life some of you think I do lol. I get nowhere near as much attention as you think.

To be fair a relationship is the last thing on my mind for sometime, I joined a dating site last night but it was like a rebound kind of thing.

 

[AzerPhire]

I would still text her saying you saved her convo and if she starts to spin anymore BS the truth will come out. I know that sort of starts some beef but it will at least shut her u from spreading further lies.

Also want to say that you need to balance your gaming habits with your relationships. Can't be completely one sided.

 

[OCD Guy]

Are they still there now OP? Are you updating us live? You may as well get a Twitch up.

No they're long gone, they were round earlier this afternoon. It's 9:40pm where I'm at now.

It's just me sat here waiting for my kebab, and then finally going to play Alienation with a gaffer hopefully.

I was doing the live updates last night, that's when the thread blew up.

 

[SmackDaddy]

That thread recap is fucking priceless.

Yeah run away and don't look back OP, she's handling this like a fucking child.

Stay chiseled and carry on.

 

[Megasoum]

4500+ post thread about you and still no custom tag... Come on mods!

 

[Pankratous]

Thanks again for the kind words (goes to everyone) but I wish I lived the life some of you think I do lol. I get nowhere near as much attention as you think.

To be fair a relationship is the last thing on my mind for sometime, I joined a dating site last night but it was like a rebound kind of thing.

I did the same thing when I split with my ex. I had a normal looking profile picture though. Not a picture of a man carved from a piece of God himself.

 

[Twookie]

Was?

These are early days, the ex hasn't even truly begun to screw with the OP yet.

This thread has another 20-40 pages left in it.

shit you're right
i don't know why i excluded the possibility for OP's ex to try to get revenge on OP

 

[maxcriden]

So I called my wife a bit later to talk and she didn't answer so I ended up calling this Jeff guy and I asked if he knew who I was and he said no. I asked if he knew my wife and said they were friends. Then I asked why he was chatting my wife on snapchat and then he hung up.

I called my wife a bit later and she answered and I asked who this Jeff person was, and she admitted in short that she was her backup plan. Things between my wife and I haven't been the greatest lately and she said she needed a plan of someone to support her in case we split up.

I had an hour on my lunch break to talk to her and has to go and she asked me what I wanted to do but I didn't have an answer yet.

Full disclosure: she says she's unhappy because she doesn't feel like she comes first (i play video games after the kids go to bed most nights) and she says I don't listen well enough.

she claims she never sent any pics to him and that he never sent any pics either but this was a guy she's been friends with behind my back since we have been together (7 years) and about 10 years ago she slept with him. She did say he has been hitting her up fairly often to hang out but according to her she hasn't hung out with him since we have been together. She did admit it was fucked up of her to talk to him like that, she went to him for emotional support and talked to him about her problems with our relationship.
I don't know what to do. I think I should just move out. Or maybe it's my fault for not giving her all of my free time

I'm really sorry to hear about this. Before you make any decision about what to do or to salvage the relationship or go or what, please take some serious time and think long and hard about what you want. Do you want to be with her and make things work? Or do you feel like it's not salvageable? And if you're feeling like that, consider if you're feeling this way because of her betrayal and the intense immediate feelings it is causing, and if in a few days if you leave you might regret it. This is a huge decision so I just want to make sure that someone is saying to you, think long and hard about it, think deeply about what you want and talk to her about what she wants. There's no question it's an awful thing that she did, The question just becomes can the two of you work through this and would you each and both want to. And if you're considering staying, would you and she consider individual and/or couple's therapy? I'm rooting ifr rhe best possible outcome for you, whatever it may be.

Yeah, he kinda does. A better looking version of Dave Franco.

Theo Rossi, even. The dude has classical Greek features.

They have my word, I've not shown them the conversation.

As I said earlier my parents are prim and proper (and a bit prudish). As I said they know better than anyone what type of person I am so they know it's fake.

They knew what happened before they got here earlier.

Her oscar performance hasn't changed anything, it might work on her friends. But my parents are the ones that have been there through the depression, insecurity, surgery etc, and they know me more than anyone.

It's just not my style to see multiple people, I struggle to get people, like when I go out I never get people, but I'm pretty reserved, so even if someone tries to talk to me I sorta shut them down, and they just think I'm arrogant but it's not that at all.

Friends of mine are the complete opposite, they'll approach women and if they get knocked back, just move onto the next one.

OCD Guy, I'm not sure I exactly follow what you've told your parents. My understanding is that you may have only told them in the most general terms that you're nit to blame here. Which is excellent, I'm sure they believe you as you know them best and they know you best. But, they may be wondering what exactly their son is going through, and however you are feeling about this situation--and no question, you are taking it immensely in stride, in fact I respectfully disagree with whoever said you're emotionally disconnected, on the contrary I get the sense you just are remarkably in tune with your emotions and feelings about this and innately know this is the end of your relationship with her and have just impressively quickly come to terms with that--sincerely--however youre feeling, it may still be cathartic to sit your parents down abd explain to them at least a bit more specifically (you don't have to draw them a diagram of course &#128514 what happened, so they can have a better understanding where you are at and be best equipped to support you emotionally and otherwise, just to be there for you armed with the pertinent information, and then you also can benefit from that. Just a thought. ☺

Can OP also link the story updates to the original post? Not sure what is going on anymore. Last I knew, he contacted his parents to help him move his stuff out.

For those looking for a recap, beyond what's posted above, simply click on the # of replies next to the title of the thread on the main OT forum page, a little window will pop up with who has posted, and then click on the # of posts next to OCD Guy's username.

 

[AuthenticM]

Lionel needs to get in here.

 

[monome]

https://streamable.com/edcz

My face is twisted into a rictus

 

[Blackthorn]

OP, you're killing me:

 

[-ImaginaryInsider]

I would still text her saying you saved her convo and if she starts to spin anymore BS the truth will come out. I know that sort of starts some beef but it will at least shut her u from spreading further lies.

Also want to say that you need to balance your gaming habits with your relationships. Can't be completely one sided.

It's not worth threatening her with the proof, it will just get her wheels turning on how to hurt the OP even more. He should save those screenshots for his nuclear option, if it absolutely comes down to it.

This girl wants the drama, it's an opportunity for her to hurt him and save face. Completely ghosting her and giving her nothing to lash out over or use against him is the best play here.

 

[Spaced Harrier]

Thanks again for the kind words (goes to everyone) but I wish I lived the life some of you think I do lol. I get nowhere near as much attention as you think.

To be fair a relationship is the last thing on my mind for sometime, I joined a dating site last night but it was like a rebound kind of thing.

You got a Vita OP?

Do you reckon you're more of a Chie man...

Or a Yukiko guy?

I think Yukiko's fragility and demure nature compliments your own.

 

[OCD Guy]

OCD Guy, I'm not sure I exactly follow what you've told your parents. My understanding is that you may have only told them in the most general terms that you're nit to blame here. Which is excellent, I'm sure they believe you as you know them best and they know you best. But, they may be wondering what exactly their son is going through, and however you are feeling about this situation--and no question, you are taking it immensely in stride, in fact I respectfully disagree with whoever said you're emotionally disconnected, on the contrary I get the sense you just are remarkably in tune with your emotions and feelings about this and innately know this is the end of your relationship with her and have just impressively quickly come to terms with that--sincerely--however youre feeling, it may still be cathartic to sit your parents down abd explain to them at least a bit more specifically (you don't have to draw them a diagram of course &#128514 what happened, so they can have a better understanding where you are at and be best equipped to support you emotionally and otherwise, just to be there for you armed with the pertinent information, and then you also can benefit from that. Just a thought. ☺

I basically told them that I found a conversation she had been having with a guy behind my back, I didn't go into detail i.e the dick, and tone.

Some people were suggesting showing my parents the screenshots, but it wasn't necessary, and they're very prudish, they're just not the type of people that would want to see that.

They get uncomfortable seeing a love scene in a movie lol.

 

[Squalor]

O.P.'s girlfriend comes home from work:

Ok my plan went out the window.

She grabs the ipad and then sits down. I'm on another chair on the laptop.

I manage 5 minutes of tongue biting before I come out with "Fancy seeing some more pictures of people's dicks"

She looks at me sheepishly, and responds with a "What?!, what are you talking about?"

But you know when you know someone is lying by the way they talk, their body language etc, and they know you know.

"I saw your conversation last night"

"What conversation?"

"Please Sarah stop this, you've been talking to guys behind my back"

"OH MY GOD, WHAT IS YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM"

and leaves the room (ipad in hand) and slams the door in the bathroom.

And here I am like a fucking idiot sitting here typing my problems on a forum, with my head in my hands.

Then:

There's pictures of her (and me) on these forums.

I'm surprised detective gaf hasn't already found them on here [REDACTED].

And found my oled and photoshopped a dick on it [REDACTED].

Ok well I was trying to talk to her through the locked bathroom door, she was ignoring me, she came out of the bathroom pushed me out of the way told me to "leave her alone" and has gone out.

So not much I can really do at this stage. Why is it that I now feel like I've done something wrong.

She obviously needs time to come up with a story. But if I was innocent I'd explain it.

Nothing more said

did you screencapped the convo? i hope you did

Yeah I screenshotted it and then emailed it to myself from her icloud (and deleted it from her sent items)

I'll just bring up the email on my phone and give her the phone.....

I've not packed anything.

I have a hell of a lot of stuff here and I drive a smart car so I'm not fitting anything in that.

We rent a flat, one that neither of us could afford by ourselves, we're both on the lease and went half each on the deposit, rent advance and fees etc.

The lease still has about 6 months on it, I've never tried cancelling a lease, not even sure if you can. But I don't want to be here, and I don't want to pay each month if I'm not.

But I don't want to mess up my credit, and I'll struggle with a reference to get a new place if I don't pay.

So until I call the letting agents tomorrow I won't know what I can do, or where I stand.

I'm hoping I can pay some sort of penalty fee and just get out of the agreement, I'll then go back to my parents.

Later:

Who do u fink u r goin dwn her stuff u cunt?

Charming text I have just received from her friend.

So no prizes for guessing where she is.

OP,

Did you text her back? Maybe she will apologize. Or at least give you a hint of her mindset so you can at least weight the risk of leaving your stuff at home tomorrow vs calling in.

No I've not responded, it's too late to get into anything. She tried calling but ignored it.

Not heard anything since.

The next day (today):

So I didn't go to work today, I didn't go to bed unitl 4am so there was no chance I was getting up at 7am and able to do a full day at work.

Contacted my manager and explained the situation (not in detail obviously) and he was quite understanding.

Anyway my first point of call was to contact the estate agent, it turns out there is a break clause, so that's great right?

Well actually it's not because as I'm in a joint tenancy my ex would need to agree to it, but we've not spoken since last night when she was in the flat (I didn't reply to the text)

At around 11am I hear the door open and pull, the chain is still on the door so hence the loud noise, my stomach turns a bit, as I'm walking to the door I hear "Open the door you fucking cunt".

Oh good it's her friend. There's a lot of shouting, and I tell my ex that I don't want her friend in here, and if she want's me to remove the chain she'll have to be alone.

Understandably I didn't want to have to deal with a loud mouthy idiot shouting her mouth off at me.

My ex barely responds, all it is her friend shouting her mouth off. Saying things along the lines of "You can't lock her out, this ain't your flat" So there's not much I can do, as she's not the type that will calmly talk, and when I try to respond she just shouts all over me (you can imagine the type) so I just sit down in the front room until they give up. This must have lasted for about 30 minutes.

Once they go I close the door and put my key in the door, this way she can't even open the door, as putting a key through the other side won't work when there's a key already in the door.

I've not heard anything since that happened. What I've done my end is what most people end up doing, calling mummy and asking for help. So they're coming round in a few hours to start removing some of my stuff. They can't fit the furniture in their car, but I'm going to call a few removal guys, or possibly rent a van, need to see what's cheaper.

Obviously I can't lock her out of the flat, but I can take all the furniture out as I'm the one that paid for it. Literally paid for the essentials, the bed, sofa and then things like tv, pc etc are mine anyway (she has no interest in those things apart from the tv)

We have a dog (the chihuahua cross in my avatar before) which we paid half each for so not sure what we would do about that.

I'll feel more comfortable when my parents arrive, I know it makes me sound like a pussy but they won't mouth off, they're pretty fake and all polite around parents. They certainly won't shout and swear.

So that's where I'm at now.

what did your ex say? what was her mood? angry? sad? aggressive?

I couldn't really tell her mood, it certainly wasn't aggressive, all I could hear was her friend shouting.

When I told her that if she wanted to come in she'd have to be alone, her Friend just started shouting over me.

Honestly I think she'll be feeling regret now, even though her friend is telling her shit like fuck him, you can do better or whatever. I know she'll be worried, as she was living a good life, a life that she wouldn't have been able to have alone.

And she's gonna feel absolutely sick when she finds out there's nothing in the flat, she won't be able to buy furniture or anything, and as I said she can't afford the rent by herself.

She walked out last night after I brought the subject up.

I had a text from her friend, and my ex tried contacting me late last night. I imagine when her friend was asleep.

I ignored her, and she turned up at around 11am this morning. In between the last text from her I've had a sleep for a few hours, I'd imagine she did too.

I'll be honest, if she had come alone, we'd have been talking about it.

I don't want to stay here anymore, that's my right.

I also want my stuff. I'm not doing it out of spite, but why should I leave everything here?

So as well as her going behind my back I should be out of pocket when I eventually get another flat? I don't want to have to buy furniture again.

I'm not unwilling to talk, obviously my mind won't change, but I'll gladly talk to her, tell her that I won't be able to stay with her as I won't be able to trust her.

Most recent(?) update:

Ok so things didn't go the way I thought they would. A very brief summary.

I didn't have anything packed as I was waiting for parents to turn up, once they did, they were asking me how I was etc, and if I was sure I wanted to do this, while we're sitting down talking my ex turned up with her friend in tears.

My mum (or mom for you guys) is quite understanding, so she starts conversating with her to try and find out what's wrong.

She turned up after work and I locked her out last night so she had nowhere to go, I didn't tell her why I locked her out, I've been really distant with her and it's because I've been seeing people behind her back and I've not been nice to her at all, she just can't deal with it anymore, so she want's to grab her stuff and leave.

I'm listening to all this in disbelief, how she can talk this much crap with a straight face, let alone doing it with fake ass tears rolling down her face is something else. Her friend with her arm round her being quiet as a mouse is the icing on the cake.

The conversation moves onto the flat, and obviously the tenancy agreement, so while everyone's in the same room a call is made to the estate agents (or letting agents) to see the best way forward. After speaking to the landlord they're able to do an assignment, this is where they can basically assign the tenancy to me, all that's needed is a deed of assignment which my ex would need to sign, and obviously permission from the landlord.

Long story short but as there's not too long on the agreement my mum will cover the half that my ex was paying, and I'll be staying here for now.

There's obviously paperwork that needs to be done, and I'm hoping that my ex will still be co-operative once things are in motion.

She's grabbed her clothes and the dog and gone to her friends house. I didn't make any objections about the dog, as I didn't want to start something, when this might actually be the smoothest outcome for now. We paid half for the dog, but she always viewed her as more her's. Carrying him in a bag etc.

 

[Murkas]

lol @ the friend who's an Essex slag stereotype! Shagging it up in Magaluf and Benidorm every year.

 

[Caderfix]

The conversation felt sincere.
Appreciate the support and advise everyone. Do you think it's unreasonable for me to ask her to not talk to this person anymore?

Not at all. If the two of you decide to try and solve the issue, than the two of you need to work together. She shouldn't be talking to him while in a relationship with you, that would be disrespectful.

Every time I've seen a relationship being kept by an unhappy couple, it ended up causing more harm than good. If you notice that one you you is unhappy moving forward, as hard as it might be, you might want to end it. You'll need to communicate very well moving forward.

Good luck, man.

 

[Onaco]

https://streamable.com/edcz

I want this to play before the next Pixar movie.

 

[Gandalf]

What a fascinating, amazing and entertaining read.

 

[MagicWithEarvin]

This has to be Thread of the Year.

That streamable was amazing.

 

[TimmmV]

Yeah I'm not going to give her any ammo at all.

Hell I'm not even going to have a phone conversation with her, it will be perfect for her to twist what I say.

Do a Kanye, record your conversations with her and then reveal her lies to GAF the world on World Snake Day 2017

 

[BibiMaghoo]

No they're long gone, they were round earlier this afternoon. It's 9:40pm where I'm at now.

It's just me sat here waiting for my kebab, and then finally going to play Alienation with a gaffer hopefully.

I was doing the live updates last night, that's when the thread blew up.

I was just kidding about the updates and twitch haha. Glad it's going down without too much drama, I was happy to read that the dog got sorted. Pets are a tricky thing to sort between a couple when they split. They can be like family themselves. If she cared more for the dog it is right she takes it. Kebab and station sounds like a good plan.

 

[VE3TRO]

What part of Essex?

 

[D6AMIA6N]

OP, the reason you don't get much attention is because it is likely that most women are intimidated by your looks. You are a good looking guy, but your confidence doesn't match how physically attractive you are. You need to get out of your shell a bit and you'll be swimming in women (if that's what you want).

Good luck, and thanks for the entertainment!

 

[OCD Guy]

What part of Essex?

I'm not in Essex, I'm in North London.

My ex's friend is from Thurrock originally. Near Lakeside shopping centre.

 

[ant_]

It's amazing to me that GAF doesn't understand that even good looking people can have low self esteem. And then telling them, " Come on man, dating should be easy for you. " really doesn't help at all.

 

[Blackthorn]

It's amazing to me that GAF doesn't understand that even good looking people can have low self esteem. And then telling them, " Come on man, dating should be easy for you. " really doesn't help at all.

Or that being shy and reserved is just his personality and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[Squalor]

O.P.'s girlfriend comes home from work:

Ok my plan went out the window.

She grabs the ipad and then sits down. I'm on another chair on the laptop.

I manage 5 minutes of tongue biting before I come out with "Fancy seeing some more pictures of people's dicks"

She looks at me sheepishly, and responds with a "What?!, what are you talking about?"

But you know when you know someone is lying by the way they talk, their body language etc, and they know you know.

"I saw your conversation last night"

"What conversation?"

"Please Sarah stop this, you've been talking to guys behind my back"

"OH MY GOD, WHAT IS YOUR FUCKIN PROBLEM"

and leaves the room (ipad in hand) and slams the door in the bathroom.

And here I am like a fucking idiot sitting here typing my problems on a forum, with my head in my hands.

Then:

There's pictures of her (and me) on these forums.

I'm surprised detective gaf hasn't already found them on here [REDACTED].

And found my oled and photoshopped a dick on it [REDACTED].

Ok well I was trying to talk to her through the locked bathroom door, she was ignoring me, she came out of the bathroom pushed me out of the way told me to "leave her alone" and has gone out.

So not much I can really do at this stage. Why is it that I now feel like I've done something wrong.

She obviously needs time to come up with a story. But if I was innocent I'd explain it.

Nothing more said

did you screencapped the convo? i hope you did

Yeah I screenshotted it and then emailed it to myself from her icloud (and deleted it from her sent items)

I'll just bring up the email on my phone and give her the phone.....

I've not packed anything.

I have a hell of a lot of stuff here and I drive a smart car so I'm not fitting anything in that.

We rent a flat, one that neither of us could afford by ourselves, we're both on the lease and went half each on the deposit, rent advance and fees etc.

The lease still has about 6 months on it, I've never tried cancelling a lease, not even sure if you can. But I don't want to be here, and I don't want to pay each month if I'm not.

But I don't want to mess up my credit, and I'll struggle with a reference to get a new place if I don't pay.

So until I call the letting agents tomorrow I won't know what I can do, or where I stand.

I'm hoping I can pay some sort of penalty fee and just get out of the agreement, I'll then go back to my parents.

Later:

Who do u fink u r goin dwn her stuff u cunt?

Charming text I have just received from her friend.

So no prizes for guessing where she is.

OP,

Did you text her back? Maybe she will apologize. Or at least give you a hint of her mindset so you can at least weight the risk of leaving your stuff at home tomorrow vs calling in.

No I've not responded, it's too late to get into anything. She tried calling but ignored it.

Not heard anything since.

The next day (today):

So I didn't go to work today, I didn't go to bed unitl 4am so there was no chance I was getting up at 7am and able to do a full day at work.

Contacted my manager and explained the situation (not in detail obviously) and he was quite understanding.

Anyway my first point of call was to contact the estate agent, it turns out there is a break clause, so that's great right?

Well actually it's not because as I'm in a joint tenancy my ex would need to agree to it, but we've not spoken since last night when she was in the flat (I didn't reply to the text)

At around 11am I hear the door open and pull, the chain is still on the door so hence the loud noise, my stomach turns a bit, as I'm walking to the door I hear "Open the door you fucking cunt".

Oh good it's her friend. There's a lot of shouting, and I tell my ex that I don't want her friend in here, and if she want's me to remove the chain she'll have to be alone.

Understandably I didn't want to have to deal with a loud mouthy idiot shouting her mouth off at me.

My ex barely responds, all it is her friend shouting her mouth off. Saying things along the lines of "You can't lock her out, this ain't your flat" So there's not much I can do, as she's not the type that will calmly talk, and when I try to respond she just shouts all over me (you can imagine the type) so I just sit down in the front room until they give up. This must have lasted for about 30 minutes.

Once they go I close the door and put my key in the door, this way she can't even open the door, as putting a key through the other side won't work when there's a key already in the door.

I've not heard anything since that happened. What I've done my end is what most people end up doing, calling mummy and asking for help. So they're coming round in a few hours to start removing some of my stuff. They can't fit the furniture in their car, but I'm going to call a few removal guys, or possibly rent a van, need to see what's cheaper.

Obviously I can't lock her out of the flat, but I can take all the furniture out as I'm the one that paid for it. Literally paid for the essentials, the bed, sofa and then things like tv, pc etc are mine anyway (she has no interest in those things apart from the tv)

We have a dog (the chihuahua cross in my avatar before) which we paid half each for so not sure what we would do about that.

I'll feel more comfortable when my parents arrive, I know it makes me sound like a pussy but they won't mouth off, they're pretty fake and all polite around parents. They certainly won't shout and swear.

So that's where I'm at now.

what did your ex say? what was her mood? angry? sad? aggressive?

I couldn't really tell her mood, it certainly wasn't aggressive, all I could hear was her friend shouting.

When I told her that if she wanted to come in she'd have to be alone, her Friend just started shouting over me.

Honestly I think she'll be feeling regret now, even though her friend is telling her shit like fuck him, you can do better or whatever. I know she'll be worried, as she was living a good life, a life that she wouldn't have been able to have alone.

And she's gonna feel absolutely sick when she finds out there's nothing in the flat, she won't be able to buy furniture or anything, and as I said she can't afford the rent by herself.

She walked out last night after I brought the subject up.

I had a text from her friend, and my ex tried contacting me late last night. I imagine when her friend was asleep.

I ignored her, and she turned up at around 11am this morning. In between the last text from her I've had a sleep for a few hours, I'd imagine she did too.

I'll be honest, if she had come alone, we'd have been talking about it.

I don't want to stay here anymore, that's my right.

I also want my stuff. I'm not doing it out of spite, but why should I leave everything here?

So as well as her going behind my back I should be out of pocket when I eventually get another flat? I don't want to have to buy furniture again.

I'm not unwilling to talk, obviously my mind won't change, but I'll gladly talk to her, tell her that I won't be able to stay with her as I won't be able to trust her.

Most recent(?) update:

Ok so things didn't go the way I thought they would. A very brief summary.

I didn't have anything packed as I was waiting for parents to turn up, once they did, they were asking me how I was etc, and if I was sure I wanted to do this, while we're sitting down talking my ex turned up with her friend in tears.

My mum (or mom for you guys) is quite understanding, so she starts conversating with her to try and find out what's wrong.

She turned up after work and I locked her out last night so she had nowhere to go, I didn't tell her why I locked her out, I've been really distant with her and it's because I've been seeing people behind her back and I've not been nice to her at all, she just can't deal with it anymore, so she want's to grab her stuff and leave.

I'm listening to all this in disbelief, how she can talk this much crap with a straight face, let alone doing it with fake ass tears rolling down her face is something else. Her friend with her arm round her being quiet as a mouse is the icing on the cake.

The conversation moves onto the flat, and obviously the tenancy agreement, so while everyone's in the same room a call is made to the estate agents (or letting agents) to see the best way forward. After speaking to the landlord they're able to do an assignment, this is where they can basically assign the tenancy to me, all that's needed is a deed of assignment which my ex would need to sign, and obviously permission from the landlord.

Long story short but as there's not too long on the agreement my mum will cover the half that my ex was paying, and I'll be staying here for now.

There's obviously paperwork that needs to be done, and I'm hoping that my ex will still be co-operative once things are in motion.

She's grabbed her clothes and the dog and gone to her friends house. I didn't make any objections about the dog, as I didn't want to start something, when this might actually be the smoothest outcome for now. We paid half for the dog, but she always viewed her as more her's. Carrying him in a bag etc.

 

[OCD Guy]

It's amazing to me that GAF doesn't understand that even good looking people can have low self esteem. And then telling them, " Come on man, dating should be easy for you. " really doesn't help at all.

Often it's people that most people think are nice that are the most insecure (I don't mean me), take someone like Kylie Jenner, she's big news now, millions literally follow her as a role model, try and copy her style etc, but she's insecure to me. She's hot now in my opinion but I just think she's really insecure, the changes etc that she's made.

I bet plenty think she doesn't even need to change, but she'll carry on insearch of happiness but never find it.

 

[Twookie]

<huuuge recap>

 

[RK9039]

My ex's friend is from Thurrock originally. Near Lakeside shopping centre.

aww shit fam, sorry to hear that.

 

[Squalor]

aww shit fam, sorry to hear that.

Hahaha, what is this place? It's that bad?

 

[OCD Guy]

Hahaha, what is this place? It's that bad?

It's a shopping centre full of Chavs. Not sure what type of person Americans would class them as.

 

[Mory Dunz]

OP needs to stand up for himself.
I'm not convinced he "won".

Somehow, someway, she will come for him. Either...socially, financially, materially or something. Because he's kind of been a pushover, and she's been doing whatever she wants in this entire situation.

I mean, think about it. Has she been checked at all in the past 24 hours? Despite being the one who cheated?

you have to assert yourself. I don't want anything bad to happen...but I'm not convinced it's over.

And this sentiment that the only way to do that = screaming and shouting = causing a scene. That's BS.
A 5 foot female Indian Doctor almost tops my list of people you don't mess with. Simply because when she speaks, her voice tonality demands it. She doesn't let people/patients get away with nonsense. Not with screaming and shouting.

It's amazing to me that GAF doesn't understand that even good looking people can have low self esteem. And then telling them, " Come on man, dating should be easy for you. " really doesn't help at all.

What I said.
Especially the day they get cheated on.


I mean, say you have a friend who is a girl.
- She's extremely attractive
- She tells you she just found out she was cheated on today
- You say, "you'll be fine, you're attractive"

&#3232;_&#3232;

 

[RK9039]

Hahaha, what is this place? It's that bad?

I've literally been there once many years ago, it was like I was on another planet. I was swimming in an ocean of chavs.

Everything the OP has said about the loud friend is 100% real now.

 

[Dreams-Visions]

Well bro, it looks like you dodged a HUGE bullet. If you signed a lease with her, I assume shit was serious. Sorry for the loss, but you wouldn't want to be with someone who has exposed themselves to be cheaters and gratuitous liars.

GL going forward.