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Would you date a girl who had genital herpes?

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Tabasco

Tabasco

Member
white dynamite said:
Maybe you should just be friends. There are plenty of 10/10's out there who won't risk giving you a disease that will last a LIFETIME.

It may be tough in this situation, but use your brain, not your wiener.
Click to expand...
I would suggest this as well.

Nobody wants to risk themselves getting a disease.
 
S

SliceSabre

Banned
Nope. Call me shallow all you want but I have a lot of self respect for my body and life span.

No being just friends with her is a different stories. Go for it.
 
Leatherface

Leatherface

Member
Nerokis said:
Good point.



The extreme level of aversion, though, is comical at best. The majority of people with genital herpes are unaware they have it, and a pretty significant chunk of the population does. Chances are that regardless of how safe you are, you'll eventually be intimate with at least one person who has an STD (especially if we count oral herpes), and so there is an inherent disconnect in all the "fuck no" responses. Even if you manage to avoid it, I highly doubt most GAFfers practice abstinence, or look down on, say, picking up someone at a bar and other such scenarios - safe sex does not fully protect against STDs, so again, there is a disconnect somewhere.

So the aversion does not fit the reality in that sense. It also does not fit reality in terms of how bad genital herpes actually is. No one wants it, and caution is good. It's not some revolting, crippling thing though (at least for the majority of people who have it). It's relatively trivial overall, evidenced by how many people live their lives unaware they have it. Combined with the fact that most anyone is vulnerable to getting it in their day to day lives (again, how many people here practice abstinence?), advancing an exaggerated stigma, when that stigma is probably the worst part of genital herpes, strikes me as pretty shortsighted.

There is also the whole "are you really incapable of looking past something like genital herpes and simply dating someone for who they are?" thing, along with the whole "do people with genital herpes really deserve to be treated like they're revolting?" thing. Again, caution is a good thing. In general, though, people' attitudes on the subject could use some improving.
Click to expand...

Just wanted to jump in to say I agree with this post 100%. Great response.
 
F

Foxy Fox 39

Banned
Nerokis said:
Good point.



The extreme level of aversion, though, is comical at best. The majority of people with genital herpes are unaware they have it, and a pretty significant chunk of the population does. Chances are that regardless of how safe you are, you'll eventually be intimate with at least one person who has an STD (especially if we count oral herpes), and so there is an inherent disconnect in all the "fuck no" responses. Even if you manage to avoid it, I highly doubt most GAFfers practice abstinence, or look down on, say, picking up someone at a bar and other such scenarios - safe sex does not fully protect against STDs, so again, there is a disconnect somewhere.

So the aversion does not fit the reality in that sense. It also does not fit reality in terms of how bad genital herpes actually is. No one wants it, and caution is good. It's not some revolting, crippling thing though (at least for the majority of people who have it). It's relatively trivial overall, evidenced by how many people live their lives unaware they have it. Combined with the fact that most anyone is vulnerable to getting it in their day to day lives (again, how many people here practice abstinence?), advancing an exaggerated stigma, when that stigma is probably the worst part of genital herpes, strikes me as pretty shortsighted.

There is also the whole "are you really incapable of looking past something like genital herpes and simply dating someone for who they are?" thing, along with the whole "do people with genital herpes really deserve to be treated like they're revolting?" thing. Again, caution is a good thing. In general, though, people' attitudes on the subject could use some improving.
Click to expand...

Kind of scary. i'm wondering generally how long it takes herpes to appear.
 
Ichabod

Ichabod

Banned
Nope. The risk of contracting a disease that randomly transforms my dong into a raspberry would be enough for me to pass.
 
M

Metra

Member
Y

YoungHav

Banned
Frodo said:
This is something that really makes me mad. Not only you are unfaithful, but you don't have the dignity to use a stupid condom to, at least, try to protect the health of the person you are cheating on (which is something you were not supposed to be doing in the first place). Seriously... It is like: 1) Seeing yourself as having more rights (right to have sex with other people) than you partner, which by itself is already a total and complete lack of respect; and: 2) Putting others in risk unnecessarily just to satisfy your own lust. I can't handle it.

Then the girl, who has been faithful and monogamous, gets a infection and ends up stigmatised as promiscuous, like the girl that is the subject of this thread. No one knows her, but there are plenty of people treating her as a slut.

Can't. Handle. It.
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My friend unfortunately was a doormat. Always forgiving him, never cheated back etc... he lacked any respect and even tried to get w/her friends (hooked up with at least one). They got married and now have kids. Whatever, her life, her divorce.
 
Rest

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
No, I wouldn't. You must really like this girl if this is even a question, but I don't recommend that you stay the course with this one. There are other great girls out there OP, don't risk a life of itching, burning, irritation, and informing every sex partner you'll ever have that you have some horrid, contagious disease.

Also, do you plan to have kids? What if you get this? How will that affect your interactions with your future children? It's not worth the risk.
 
M

Metra

Member
Rest said:
No, I wouldn't. You must really like this girl if this is even a question, but I don't recommend that you stay the course with this one. There are other great girls out there OP, don't risk a life of itching, burning, irritation, and informing every sex partner you'll ever have that you have some horrid, contagious disease.

Also, do you plan to have kids? What if you get this? How will that affect your interactions with your future children? It's not worth the risk.
Click to expand...

How/why it would affect his relationship with his future children?
 
Rest

Rest

All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Metra said:
How/why it would affect his relationship with his future children?
Click to expand...

What if he has a cut on his hand? What if he wants to kiss their cheeks? Herpes can spread in a lot of different ways.
 
H

hateradio

The Most Dangerous Yes Man
itxaka said:
Next week thread by OP: "Would you date a man that has herpes?"
Click to expand...
No one would care.

The title would have to be something along these lines:


  • I told the person who I like, that I have herpes
    • GAF applauds person, doesn't get condemned for being a slut (mostly)
    • If OP is a woman, will get accused of being a slut
      while simultaneously get hit on and asked for pics
  • I got herpes
    • GAF pities person but condemns the contagious slut
  • Do you have herpes?
    • GAF condemns sluts

:p
 
M

Metra

Member
Rest said:
What if he has a cut on his hand? What if he wants to kiss their cheeks? Herpes can spread in a lot of different ways.
Click to expand...

DA1sue3.jpg
 
C

captive

Joe Six-Pack: posting for the common man
Metra said:
How/why it would affect his relationship with his future children?
Click to expand...
yea I would like to know this as well.

hateradio said:
No one would care.

The title would have to be something along these lines:


  • I told the person who I like, that I have herpes
    • GAF applauds person, doesn't get condemned for being a slut (mostly)
    • If OP is a woman, will get accused of being a slut
      while simultaneously get hit on and asked for pics
  • I got herpes
    • GAF pities person but condemns the contagious slut
  • Do you have herpes?
    • GAF condemns sluts

:p
Click to expand...
I would challenge all those super opposed to go get tested and SPECIFICALLY ask for HSV tests, because as noted they don't generally test for it.

Lots of FUD going on up in here.
 
D

DERF

Member
I did and married her. She contracted them from being raped. There is much more to a person than an std.
 
K

kswiston

Member
If you have had more than 10 sexual partners, the chances that at least one of them has had either herpes or hpv is well over 90%.
 
I

isoquant

Member
Thanks for all of the advice guys, especially from those people who have been in this situation before.

I've found that one frustrating part of this dilemma is that you can't quantify the risk of transmission (with a condom + medication) so you can't really make an informed decision. All I've been able to learn is that a condom cuts the risk by 50% and medication cuts the risk by 50% again.

Anyway, I'm giving myself another day or two to think about it, but I'm pretty certain I'm going to have to bail :(
 
HUELEN10

HUELEN10

Member
Honestly, I would only if she agreed not to have sex with me, which might be a problem in a long-term relationship...

So I guess I'd say yes, if we're just talking about dating, but the reality is that it would be futile from the start if considering a long-term relationship.
 
bengraven

bengraven

Member
I found out a certain porn star had herpes and I stopped jerking it to her, the fuck would I have sex with someone with it...
 
Z

Zaptruder

Banned
isoquant said:
Thanks for all of the advice guys, especially from those people who have been in this situation before.

I've found that one frustrating part of this dilemma is that you can't quantify the risk of transmission (with a condom + medication) so you can't really make an informed decision. All I've been able to learn is that a condom cuts the risk by 50% and medication cuts the risk by 50% again.

Anyway, I'm giving myself another day or two to think about it, but I'm pretty certain I'm going to have to bail :(
Click to expand...

Have you had any sexual contact before?

Have you had yourself tested for herpes?

There's an 80% chance you simply won't express the symptoms if you do have it... and a pretty good chance you already do have it.

Given those odds, you're basically just reducing your potential pool of partners for no good reason.

But best let her go - there'll be other more rational minded people (on this subject matter at least) to come along if she's as hot as you say she is.
 
E

Ethics Gradient

Member
isoquant said:
Thanks for all of the advice guys, especially from those people who have been in this situation before.

I've found that one frustrating part of this dilemma is that you can't quantify the risk of transmission (with a condom + medication) so you can't really make an informed decision. All I've been able to learn is that a condom cuts the risk by 50% and medication cuts the risk by 50% again.

Anyway, I'm giving myself another day or two to think about it, but I'm pretty certain I'm going to have to bail :(
Click to expand...

I dated a woman who had HSV-II for roughly 2 years. She was upfront about it, and I could tell it was an issue in her life that had dealt her a lot of pain.

We used protection & she did the suppressive medication. She never had a breakout that I ever saw. And sometimes, I didn't use a condom.

I didn't catch it, and the relationship was well worth the risk.
 
I

isoquant

Member
Zaptruder said:
Have you had any sexual contact before?

Have you had yourself tested for herpes?

There's an 80% chance you simply won't express the symptoms if you do have it... and a pretty good chance you already do have it.

Given those odds, you're basically just reducing your potential pool of partners for no good reason.

But best let her go - there'll be other more rational minded people (on this subject matter at least) to come along if she's as hot as you say she is.
Click to expand...

As I posted earlier in this thread, I got tested for herpes the other day.

I appreciate that if you're having casual sex, the chance of encountering someone with herpes is substantial, but it is hardly irrational to make the decision to avoid a person you know has it.
 
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