How does one "play their cards right" in this scenario lol
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Am I in the forever friend zone?
- Thread starter WaterAstro
- Start date
How does one "play their cards right" in this scenario lol
BlueTsunami
there is joy in sucking dick
When you unintentionally become a womans beard
This was my reaction.
Granted I won't say it's impossible she will change her mind but don't act like her friend if all you are truly hoping for is romance, she deserves a better friend then someone who is just waiting for things to change.
Also if she turned you down using we've been together might not be the best choice, and certainly not something she would approve of so be careful on that one.
makingmusic476
Member
I don't think I've ever heard of a non-couple actively holding hands on a regular basis.
Ugh good catch. I missed this. Dude you have not "been together".
AKingNamedPaul
I am Homie
If I find a woman attractive I usually gear the conversation to things that could be provocative and depending on her reaction I can tell if she's into me or not. How she reacts to physical contact and how comfortable she is with me. It's your job to set the tone, have interesting conversation and make her comfortable. Make your intentions clear from the start or you are ultimately being a coward which will always be unattractive and concealing your true intentions not only makes you a weak friend, but a weak candidate for a relationship/fling. Knowing when she's probably not attracted to you physically/if you have the personality chops to overcome and acting accordingly is a huge asset.
Plenty of fish in the sea, never put all your eggs in one basket unless you want to settle down with one in particular.
Plenty of fish in the sea, never put all your eggs in one basket unless you want to settle down with one in particular.
You are not "together", you are friends. The sooner you stop thinking/talking about this in romantic relationship terms the better.
It's another way of phrasing unrequited love, which is a real thing. I don't really think someone is automatically an asshole for having that emotion. You can't control who you love, but you can control how you move forward after that.
Honestly, it seems like that she realized she can use him for progressing her career and is maybe subconsciously stringing him along. He asked her out, she turned him down, and he's still around, saying things like "It's okay if you get a boyfriend I don't mind". If this is the case, it's as much his fault as it is hers (if not moreso), since he's letting himself be used in hopes of her using him... in those ways.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
No need for such hostility. I doubt OP is malicious.
WaterAstro
Member
lol you guys
I'm not a selfish dude. You guys sound like you'd kill any friendship with a lady if you don't get pussy.
I'm going to help her out as much as I can regardless of the outcome.
I'm not a selfish dude. You guys sound like you'd kill any friendship with a lady if you don't get pussy.
I'm going to help her out as much as I can regardless of the outcome.
jacob armitage
Banned
The first zone isn't a thing, it just means they aren't interested in you as a romantic or sexual partner. Tell her how you feel and if it isn't reciprocated, then move on.
Important thing: This is not a movie. If someone you're interested in WANTS to date you. She/He will find the time/motivation. They won't do the 'Well if only x, y and z wasn't happening, i'd totally date you'. Hormones are a thing. Everyone is horny and wants validation. Some esoteric desire to pursue a career or similar isn't going to stand in the way, man.
Nobody's hard on someone for feeling unrequited love, we've all been there. But friend zone has historically been bundled with feelings of entitlement on behalf of self proclaimed "nice guys", as if the girl owes something romantic to them for their friendship, and that is not cool.
"Moving on" doesn't mean cutting her out of your life, it means moving on mentally/emotionally.
FantasticMrFoxdie
Mumber
I don't think thats what most are saying. If you are friends, thats wonderful but you are sounding like you want more...
"We've been together for 3 months, and it's only getting stronger, it feels like. I like to dwell on the possibility that she wants to be with me when we get her career going, but I needed to see what others think."
Unless you really know what you are doing with all this lovey dovey stuff, you're setting yourself up for heartache.
CaviarMeths
Member
Which is cool, do that. But the problem is you're viewing your friendship with her through the lens of a romantic one by using terms like "we'e been together" and doing couple stuff. That's not constructive. You can just be friends, but not if you're not willing to frame the relationship that way.
toxicgonzo
Taxes?! Isn't this the line for Metallica?
Outrageously flirt with other women in her company.
Gauge her response.
Gauge her response.
Ninja Scooter
Member
That's fine, just don't do it because you think it's going to lead to a romantic relationship. Do it because you want to be a good friend. Be honest with yourself. If she started dating another guy would you be doing all of these nice things for her?
entremet
Member
Well, you like her and have a romantic interest. Big difference.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Youre attacking someone over semantics at this point. I also kind of disagree with your assessment of the term friend zone.
You're not an selfish dude for helping her or being around her or any negative stuff.
However you just got to realize the way you wrote your OP very much made it seem like you are truly hoping/expecting her to come around and that is a dangerous game to play when she really seems to value your friendship.
That and the together thing statement is awkward regardless of intent, if a girl asked me out and I said no and then saw her post that line? I wouldn't be okay with that shit at all.
In your head, she's almost your girlfriend. In hers, you're the guy she can talk about the great sex she had last night with Brad from Nova Scotia.
I guess I'm out of touch because I didn't realize it was associated with that. Always seemed to me like when someone came to me with "friend zone" problems, they earnestly wanted to know if they were doing something wrong or had a chance at getting with a girl they liked, not "she owes me this!".
Matrix XII
Member
You want it to be more than a friendship, that is your hope.
HOLY SHIT. Savage.
The Hamburglar
Banned
How often do you jerk off to her? Tell her you jerk off over here. The desperation might pay off.
jacob armitage
Banned
Moving on doesn't mean not being friends. Just communicate with her honestly and openly, if she doesn't feel the same way (it doesn't sound like she does i'm afraid), don't pursue her as a romantic partner. You will feel much better, and she will feel more comfortable being your friend and you won't be wasting anyone's time, especially not your own.
BlueTsunami
there is joy in sucking dick
I understand that being in a loving, romantic relationship can be amazing but when did the value of friendship become worthless?
This, don't make it weird OP
lightskintwin
Banned
The only chance you have is to find another girl that actually likes you, start going out with her, distance yourself from your friend but don't completely shut her out, and when she asks you how come ya'll haven't been hanging out as of late tell you've been dating this new girl....
Now this is a very small chance, but she MAY get jealous and realize she took you for granted and all this time she actually liked you more than a friend and wishes she was with you as your girlfriend, instead of this new girl. Upon which, you now have choices.
The more likely chance though is she was never into you like that. The reality of the friend zone is subconsciously she can't see herself having sex with you.
Now this is a very small chance, but she MAY get jealous and realize she took you for granted and all this time she actually liked you more than a friend and wishes she was with you as your girlfriend, instead of this new girl. Upon which, you now have choices.
The more likely chance though is she was never into you like that. The reality of the friend zone is subconsciously she can't see herself having sex with you.
Not saying don't be friends. But hoping for something that won't come is rough brother. I know how hard that is to not want to just be a good friend and hope for romance.
Id say if you're going to stay her friend that's cool, dunno about the love yous or holding hands. But if you are looking for romance I'd suggest looking elsewhere.
But in the end who gives a shit as long as you are happy when all is said and done OP.
Good luck homie.
Hidden One
Member
Damn you put yourself in the ultra friend zone.
It's not that friendship is worthless, it's more that this kind of relationship where one party is pining over the other and the second party doesn't care much, is not really a true friendship.
WaterAstro
Member
I actually already did some time after she turned me down because I needed to focus on helping her. Just that it gone to the point where I'm wondering if she could be interested in me because we're at a much closer point than we were when she turned me down.
lol is that it? You guys take that word and think it means I'm strung on her.
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