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[yana]

Throughout my life I've mostly leaned towards not having them, with occasional times where I thought it could be nice, but as life goes on it's becoming less and less of a realistic possibility, so if nothing else I might as well make the best out of not having them.

 

[Mr-Joker]

I have always wanted kids, even when I was a teenager.

I am currently single at the moment as I haven't found my other half yet but I am currently unsure if I will ever get married and have kids not because I have changed my mind but because I am currently in a shitty low paid job with long hours and in order to advance my careers I would have to do 2.3 years of training, when my real dream is writing novels.

These threads are fun because it usually devolves into sides defending the life decisions, while at times, demonizing others.

Sorry to break to everyone but neither choice is more or less noble than the other.

As long as people are content with their choice, it was the correct one.

Agreed, if people want kids then that's fine if people don't want kids that is also fine but don't act you're better than each other.

 

[Skellig Gra]

This is a very common reasoning for having kids, but a terrifying one (for both the parent and the kid). I'm actually shocked at how socially acceptable it is. First, of course, is the crude selfishness of having a kid out of sheer boredom, as if it were a new hobby, the "next big thing" in life after videogames, travel, or whatever.

Second, it begs the question of how can someone in their late twenties or thirties feel that way ("I had already accomplished everything I wanted") so early in life? As successful as one may be or as low as one's expectations may be, that sounds absolutely tragic to me. If a person in that situation couldn't, for some reason, have a kid, than what would be the point for him or her to live out the next sixty years of his or her life?

And third, even if faced with this existential black hole of boredom so early in life, choosing to have a kid to try to plug it seems not only absurdly selfish, but also incredibly uncreative, uninspired, conformist, and probably self-defeating as well, in light of the countless possibilities in one's life. Not to mention the existential burden placed on the child.

It's really hard to even begin to understand that.

First of all, I never said I was bored

Second of all, thanks for all the insults

And third, the point is I had tons of stuff to fill my time with. It was just not fulfilling or meaningful anymore. So I looked for something meaningful that would make a difference in my life. I did lots of charity work but even then felt like I was missing something.

 

[Monocle]

Someone's got to resist the tide of assholes and idiots. All you enlightened people who don't want to bring kids into this awful world or whatever should do what you can to improve the future population so we can turn this bullshit around.

I'm definitely going to have kids. I'll raise them with love, and appropriate measures of respect and irreverence.

Spoiler

And incidentally I'm not gonna fucking spank them, because I'm a civilized person with reason and empathy. It's a parent's job to prepare their kids to be self-sufficient well-adjusted people, not trained animals.

 

[bengraven]

I'm child free for the next eight hours. It's great to have a break even though I'm working...

 

[poppabk]

This is a very common reasoning for having kids, but a terrifying one (for both the parent and the kid). I'm actually shocked at how socially acceptable it is. First, of course, is the crude selfishness of having a kid out of sheer boredom, as if it were a new hobby, the "next big thing" in life after videogames, travel, or whatever.

Second, it begs the question of how can someone in their late twenties or thirties feel that way ("I had already accomplished everything I wanted") so early in life? As successful as one may be or as low as one's expectations may be, that sounds absolutely tragic to me. If a person in that situation couldn't, for some reason, have a kid, than what would be the point for him or her to live out the next sixty years of his or her life?

And third, even if faced with this existential black hole of boredom so early in life, choosing to have a kid to try to plug it seems not only absurdly selfish, but also incredibly uncreative, uninspired, conformist, and probably self-defeating as well, in light of the countless possibilities in one's life. Not to mention the existential burden placed on the child.

It's really hard to even begin to understand that.

And yet here you are giving birth to a fully grown strawman. Its not boredom, its asking the question "what can I do in my life that I will find the most fulfilling?". The poster could have gone on traveling, looking for new hobbies etc he just didn't perceive that it would be as fulfilling for him than raising a child. That some people find nurturing a life from a single cell all the way to a fully grown adult a fulfilling, creative, inspiring endeavor shouldn't be that surprising. That some people find other avenues that they think are more fulfilling is not surprising either.

 

[bengraven]

Someone's got to resist the tide of assholes and idiots. All you enlightened people who don't want to bring kids into this awful world or whatever should do what you can to improve the future population so we can turn this bullshit around.

I'm definitely going to have kids. I'll raise them with love, and appropriate measures of respect and irreverence.

Spoiler

And incidentally I'm not gonna fucking spank them, because I'm a civilized person with reason and empathy.

All of this including your spoiler.

My mother in law gave me a speech when my wife was pregnant about how it was wrong for me to be raising a child in the last legs of the Bush administration and world of terror and school shootings - that it should be a crime to bring a child up in such a cruel world. She also worries that due to the abuses I suffered as a child and the temperament of my parents that I would be a horrible parent.

Incidentally I've raised an incredibly sweet, smart, loving human being despite my own childhood and the only cruelty and horrible family member inflicted on him was in fact, her ---- the same person who was scared for him is his only tormentor.

 

[Laiza]

As a trans person, the entire notion that I could ever even have kids is hilarious in light of both my infertility (yes, yes, I know, adoption is an option) and the fact that I have no money. Well, that, and the fact that I'm an asocial shut-in who abhors face-to-face social interaction.

It's never been on my radar. It probably never will be. Hell, I take a certain amount of satisfaction out of knowing that I can have sex with zero risk of pregnancy (STDs are obviously another matter), so, y'know. That's just how I roll.

I have other goals in my life that take too much of my time and energy anyway. Having to raise kids would cut into that time tremendously. Good for you folks who are really into it. I'm not going to be one of those people.

 

[Wanderer5]

Eh can could either way later, but for now I want to focus on my own life, and honestly not sure if I would be a good parent.

 

[ZeoVGM]

It's making it sound like some movement or collective of people. Not just a choice.

It's just a term that is used to describe having no children. What a weird thing to nitpick at.

 

[Deleted member 752119]

also, many people here seem to forget that kids grow up to be adults, with interesting stories, lives and families of their own, right?
("i hate kids")

when i'm 70, i'd sure like to have a bunch of people in their mid 30s having interesting and intellectually stimulating conversations about the current state of the world with me.
I don't wanna end up stuck in an "old people echo chamber" exclusively populated by similarly aged peers.

And apart from family, i don't think there's an easy way for a 70 year old to have 'young buddies'

For me, that's kind of a perk of the job of being a college professor. Especially being at a research university and mentoring graduate students who go on to be professors or researchers themselves that I continue to work with on research.

I've also been in some meetup running groups etc. that had members ranging from 20 somethings to 70+ year olds.

Not saying that either is the same as having adult children, just that I do think there are other ways for some to stay in touch with younger generations in general. I'm pretty introverted so I really don't care much tbh.

Someone's got to resist the tide of assholes and idiots. All you enlightened people who don't want to bring kids into this awful world or whatever should do what you can to improve the future population so we can turn this bullshit around.

Certainly. Myself I do what I can by trying to have a positive impact on the undergraduate and graduate students I teach and mentor, particularly the former since many at my university are minorities from disadvantaged backgrounds.

We also volunteer a fair amount and donate a fair amount since we have more time and money than similarly situated parents with children to support and care for. Again, not in anyway saying we're superior, just that we are cognizant of the point you make and try to have impacts in ways we can.

 

[Monocle]

All of this including your spoiler.

My mother in law gave me a speech when my wife was pregnant about how it was wrong for me to be raising a child in the last legs of the Bush administration and world of terror and school shootings - that it should be a crime to bring a child up in such a cruel world. She also worries that due to the abuses I suffered as a child and the temperament of my parents that I would be a horrible parent.

Incidentally I've raised an incredibly sweet, smart, loving human being despite my own childhood and the only cruelty and horrible family member inflicted on him was in fact, her ---- the same person who was scared for him is his only tormentor.

That's a wonderful thing. As a parent, a person can pass on the cruelty and dysfunction they suffered when they were younger, or invert those patterns by finding insight in their experiences that helps them plot a better path.

A good deal of my character comes from my deliberate choice to do exactly the opposite of most of the people involved in my upbringing. It's worked out pretty well so far.

Certainly. Myself I do what I can by trying to have a positive impact on the undergraduate and graduate students I teach and mentor, particularly the former since many at my university are minorities from disadvantaged backgrounds.

We also volunteer a fair amount and donate a fair amount since we have more time and money than similarly situated parents with children to support and care for. Again, not in anyway saying we're superior, just that we are cognizant of the point you make and try to have impacts in ways we can.

Sure, those are certainly worthy ways to make a difference.

 

[Glendemonium]

I'll probably be child free/less for the forseeable future. I'm turning 37 in a month and already get the side-eye from people locally (though I struggled with dating early on being obese and poor, it's a "Christian" community, lots of pressure to settle down ASAP.)

I thought I wanted to at least have one child, but it's due to pressure from all the younger parents (most people here start having kids right after HS or just after college, like a mad rush) Though over time I can't see myself being a good parent. Like many, my upbringing was dysfunctional and cold. All it taught me was what NOT to do as a parent. Plus the country is heading to a dark period, and I don't want to raise a child until I'm financially stable (IE no debts, but since this is the USA that's hard when poor) and living in a better place where the school systems have good funding and away from religious fundamentalists (no offense to those who mean well.)

In fact, I didn't want to even think about kids until my 30s, but this made dating hard, and I already had a hard time as it is. I tried dating single parents but it always ended up as a one sided relationship, and you can't really do much with them (like travel, or just a simple weekend getaway), there's so much I want to do in life, I don't want to end up like those parents who never ventured out of state or did anything exciting then mid life crisis hits like a ton of bricks.

 

[ZeoVGM]

OP said he doesn't have faith in humanity so he doesn't want to have kids. Reading so many people being proud of being selfish, I'm losing faith as well.

This post doesn't make any sense at all.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

This post doesn't make any sense at all.

It makes sense when someone views having children as a selfless act for the betterment of all humanity and views not having them as selfish.

 

[SephiZack]

It's very early for me (21) but I like kids and can handle them well, so I would like to have kid/kids in the future.

I am worried about passing down my bad genes though. I am not exactly a healthy person and some of my problems are genetically inherited (not very big ones though)

 

[Monocle]

It makes sense when someone views having children as a selfless act for the betterment of all humanity and views not having them as selfish.

I'm sure no one here is quite that grandiose.

 

[cr0w]

Turning 37 this year, wife just turned 31. Neither of us ever want kids, it's just not in our personalities. Before we got engaged, we both had a talk about it and were shocked that each of us felt the same way. We want to save every cent we have and travel, see the world, experience things that simply wouldn't be possible if we had children to support.

We have pets, and sometimes even that makes us feel limited in what we can do as far as being out of town for any length of time. Plus we just flat out don't enjoy the company of children.

We're just not "wired" for it, I suppose.

 

[Deleted member 752119]

Turning 37 this year, wife just turned 31. Neither of us ever want kids, it's just not in our personalities. Before we got engaged, we both had a talk about it and were shocked that each of us felt the same way. We want to save every cent we have and travel, see the world, experience things that simply wouldn't be possible if we had children to support.

We have pets, and sometimes even that makes us feel limited in what we can do as far as being out of town for any length of time. Plus we just flat out don't enjoy the company of children.

We're just not "wired" for it, I suppose.

Yep, totally us as well. The pets as well, though that's just her as she had two dogs when we got together. They're old as hell, expensive with all the meds and special food one requires (diabetes and cushings disease) and limit traveling as ti's so costly to board (like $50 a night for both together and the cheapest place we found that was still decent accommodations). They're also big and go out a lot so we need a house with yard instead of the small condo lifestyle I prefer. I'm hoping we can be pet free for a decent while after they pass, but she's really a dog person so that's our one friction point I guess.

 

[Miniature Kaiju]

32 and no kids. Never felt like it, nor has my SO. Too many things going on with our lives and careers and we agree that the world is too fucked up (and moving into an even worse place) to create another human being to suffer through all of it.

We also agree that, if some 10, 15 years down the line we change our minds - even though, honestly, we don't see that happening -, we'll just adopt.

 

[spock]

I'm 39 and a single father of 2 girls ages 8 and 9. I never really planned for or against having kids. Me and the girl's mother were 6 yrs into our relationship when we had our first daughter. We had been having unprotected sex for years at that point. I thought I was sterile due to medication, but all that meant was the odds were low.

Here I am now, raising both kids on my own for almost 6 years. I can't see a life without them. That's the best way to put it. Though it's true that you basically give up a large portion of yourself in multiple ways and take on quite a bit by having children. However for the right person regardless if you planned/wanted kids, it will likely end up being the best thing you ever do in your entire life and possibly the best you can do for the world.

But it's hard to foreshadow this. You'll probably only know/realize it after the fact. That I can see as a problem. Not every parent is a good parent but great people have still come from bad parents so who knows...

 

[Fliesen]

There is nothing selfish about two people wanting to have a child if they are on the same wave length.

Equally, there is nothing selfish about anyone who doesn't want to have a child because of x, y, and z circumstances.

What is selfish is either side make other people guilty for their personal choice- claiming some sort of moral/wisdom superiority over others to self stroke their egos. Saying "you just don't understand unless you have had children" is as equally offensive as calling other breeder that drop crotch fruit. Both are demeaning.

Society requires all types of people function.

yup, well stated. i'd prefer if we could stop trying to portray either view as 'selfish'. Because both are and aren't. The only selfish thing would to force your view onto your partner, but since i don't think any two people in this thread are currently in a relationship with one another, i think we can eliminate that option.

We can argue whether or not these (rather dark and nihilistic) statements of "I don't want to force(sic.) a new life into this world without consent(sic.) only to have them suffer(sic.)" are really all that productive either, because - as shitty as things are currently looking, there's nothing saying that a newly born person can't go on to live a fulfilled life and contribute to the betterment of society and our planet.

For me, that's kind of a perk of the job of being a college professor. Especially being at a research university and mentoring graduate students who go on to be professors or researchers themselves that I continue to work with on research.

I've also been in some meetup running groups etc. that had members ranging from 20 somethings to 70+ year olds.

Not saying that either is the same as having adult children, just that I do think there are other ways for some to stay in touch with younger generations in general. I'm pretty introverted so I really don't care much tbh.

Lucky you - that sounds great, your profession being enlightening and teaching future generations of young adults
But of course that's the exception rather than the norm.

 

[Astral Dog]

despite what i said earlier i
Don't think having kids is inherently selfish or bad . Its a common wish and part of the natural process. The world is going to be fucked up anyways let people have families its their right as humans if they want to. Not everybody is educated on environmentalism or child expenses because ironically they don't teach a class on schools about that.🤔

And that would be the best (and probably only)way to solve this "issue" EDUCATION and sensible media on TV/Internet/walls.

 

[The Real Abed]

37 and still no kids. Single again after dating a woman who has a daughter. (Who is in foster care) I always wanted a daughter but don't think I will ever have the chance really. At least not at this point. And some of the reasons in the first sentence of the OP.

More money for me.

 

[Deleted member 752119]

Lucky you - that sounds great, your profession being enlightening and teaching future generations of young adults
But of course that's the exception rather than the norm.

Of course. Also though, it's not that hard to get into the education profession. Being a professor, yes, tons of work and luck involved. But we need public school teachers in the worst way, especially in disadvantaged areas, so that's always an option for people who want to make that kind of impact--albeit on kids/teens rather than young adults. Volunteering with various groups (or seeking a career in a nonprofit) is another option.

My point was just there are a multitude of ways people can try to make the world a better place, including help shape young people, without having kids. So the child free crowd is inherently selfish people who don't care about positively impacting the future/future generations as is often implied by a vocal minority of the parent crowd who are probably mostly just envious of the extra free time and money the childfree crowd has and thus label the lifestyle selfish to make themselves feel better.

 

[ColdPizza]

My wife and I have been talking about this a lot lately. I'm 30 and she's 27. We just enjoy being able to go out when we want to, staying active and the extra disposable income doesn't hurt.

We're probably 80/20 right now, in favor of not having children.

I give you guys another 3 years.

 

[Deleted member 752119]

I give you guys another 3 years.

I hate these kind of comments. Not everyone woman/couple has a biological clock that goes off. The majority of our friends that were always leaning toward not having kids (rather than absolutely never wanting them like us) are still kid free in their late 30s to mid 40s. I can think of two couples I've now that were leaning strongly toward no in their late 20s/early 30s who went on to have kids. So, yes, it does happen. But it's hardly some absolute like you and others make it out to be.

 

[GustyGardens]

My wife and I have discussed this multiple times, but it's just not for us. We like having a disposable income and being able to travel freely.

We're in our 30's, for whatever that's worth.

 

[Gravy Boat]

What surprised me is the amount of people seemingly using their desire to travel as a reason to not have kids. That's fine, but kids and travel isn't an either/or decision. Our daughter turns 3 in October and by try end of the year we'll have been to New York, Las Vegas, Spain twice as well as 7 or 8 weekends over in England (we live in Ireland). Las year we went to Paris, Amsterdam and Krakow, again with a bunch of weekend trips.

Unless you're going on holiday every month it's not really a restriction.

 

[Skellig Gra]

What surprised me is the amount of people seemingly using their desire to travel as a reason to not have kids. That's fine, but kids and travel isn't an either/or decision. Our daughter turns 3 in October and by try end of the year we'll have been to New York, Las Vegas, Spain twice as well as 7 or 8 weekends over in England (we live in Ireland). Las year we went to Paris, Amsterdam and Krakow, again with a bunch of weekend trips.

Unless you're going on holiday every month it's not really a restriction.

It's also a matter of money. I travel with my son a lot but it's because we are lucky enough to have well paying jobs.

 

[Gravy Boat]

It's also a matter of money. I travel with my son a lot but it's because we are lucky enough to have well paying jobs.

We're managing on a single income (£25kish a year). You just need to budget and keep an eye out for deals.

 

[Deleted member 752119]

What surprised me is the amount of people seemingly using their desire to travel as a reason to not have kids. That's fine, but kids and travel isn't an either/or decision. Our daughter turns 3 in October and by try end of the year we'll have been to New York, Las Vegas, Spain twice as well as 7 or 8 weekends over in England (we live in Ireland). Las year we went to Paris, Amsterdam and Krakow, again with a bunch of weekend trips.

Unless you're going on holiday every month it's not really a restriction.

It's just a matter of how you travel I guess. A lot harder with a kid to go on long back packing trips, explore third world countries, do constantly on the go city trips where your exploring all day and dining and drinking into the night, harder to take long vacations (ours are usually 2 weeks to a month) etc.

For me it's just tied to the broader reason I never wanted kids: I'd enjoy my life a hell of a lot less if I had to deal with taking care of a child, and I'd enjoy travel a hell of a lot less having to deal with a child.

Again, nothing wrong with having kids, traveling with kids for people who enjoy it and I'm sure you and your partner enjoy your travels far more with your daughter than you would alone. To each, their own.

 

[Octavia]

Nope, never, not at all interested in the slightest. I'm doing my own thing this life.

 

[Angry Grimace]

I hate these kind of comments. Not everyone woman/couple has a biological clock that goes off. The majority of our friends that were always leaning toward not having kids (rather than absolutely never wanting them like us) are still kid free in their late 30s to mid 40s. I can think of two couples I've now that were leaning strongly toward no in their late 20s/early 30s who went on to have kids. So, yes, it does happen. But it's hardly some absolute like you and others make it out to be.

I agree it's annoying as hell listening to people talk down about it (I get it constantly from my mother) but there's an element of truth to it. People who are 27 don't know what they will want when they are 37.

 

[Keri]

I got to the point in my life where I had already essentially accomplished everything I wanted. Waiting for the next big video game or going on a cool vacation started to feel like the same thing over and over again. I couldn't envision doing that for another 40 years. Not judging anyone but that was how I viewed it.

I felt very similar and this was the final push for me, personally, to have a child. I always expected that I would be someone who found a lot of value in travelling and exploring the world, but when I was finally in a place in life to do that...I just wasn't interested, the way I thought I would be. Travelling felt like a chore to me, because I wasn't that interested in doing it. I found that I was much more interested in putting down roots and having a family.

It's really just about different people finding value in different experiences. My brother is going the opposite route. Him and his wife travel frequently and I think they're planning to forego children, to continue that lifestyle. Anytime they need a "kid" fix, they are welcome at my house. And anytime I want to hear some adventures, they've got tons of pictures and stories. But we're all a lot happier just dipping our toes into the other world, rather than living it.

 

[d0g_bear]

lol this thread is being watched ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[Deleted member 752119]

I agree it's annoying as hell listening to people talk down about it (I get it constantly from my mother) but there's an element of truth to it. People who are 27 don't know what they will want when they are 37.

That's also not universal. I knew by high school that I've never wanted kids and never remotely once wavered or had a second thought about it.

I new by my early 20s I wanted a job in academia for the flexibility and other perks of the job (vs. doing something else that paid more) and never once wavered.

People mature at different ages.

 

[Nista]

Every once in awhile I think, "oh it might be nice to have a kid like my SO". Then I go anywhere near babies and I remember that I don't really enjoy being around kids until they are functional sentient creatures.

Also we're both old so it'd probably end up with chromosomal abnormalities.

Though after watching a couple seasons of RPDR, I'd be open to fostering or adopting an older child once we're in a more stable position. There's a lot of kids out there who could use a loving home for whatever reason.

 

[The Lamp]

Babies and small children are often the grossest and most obnoxious things in the entire world so I would have to get over that before having children. But maybe someday I could.

 

[Astral Dog]

What surprised me is the amount of people seemingly using their desire to travel as a reason to not have kids. That's fine, but kids and travel isn't an either/or decision. Our daughter turns 3 in October and by try end of the year we'll have been to New York, Las Vegas, Spain twice as well as 7 or 8 weekends over in England (we live in Ireland). Las year we went to Paris, Amsterdam and Krakow, again with a bunch of weekend trips.

Unless you're going on holiday every month it's not really a restriction.

Of course they are aware not everybody is a rich pigeon with disposable income and free time to plan ;P
And go to Spain,Vegas,New York,Italy,Paris and God knows were else, good thing the kid is only 3 years old and fits everywhere.

 

[The Lamp]

What surprised me is the amount of people seemingly using their desire to travel as a reason to not have kids. That's fine, but kids and travel isn't an either/or decision. Our daughter turns 3 in October and by try end of the year we'll have been to New York, Las Vegas, Spain twice as well as 7 or 8 weekends over in England (we live in Ireland). Las year we went to Paris, Amsterdam and Krakow, again with a bunch of weekend trips.

Unless you're going on holiday every month it's not really a restriction.

Maybe they like to party. I can't travel to Barcelona and party with my SO if we have a kid to think about.

Traveling families are the most boring tourists I've ever seen. I don't want to be one of them.

 

[GeNoMe]

I have a 2 year old boy (turning 3 in August). I was in the kid free living camp, mostly due to my childhood. It's a long story and involves a deadbeat abusive dad. The thought of having a kid scared the shit out of me. What if I turned out to be the same as him is what coursed through my mind.

So yeah, my wife got pregnant and I became a dad. And it's the most amazing thing that has happened to me. Turns out, I knew exactly what NOT to do while raising a child.
I consider myself a great father, and I'm gonna be everything for him what my old man wasn't for me. My own life has become second place, my boy is everything to me.

 

[Chococat]

Maybe I oversimplified but what I am saying is, both choices are made from the perspective over self furfillment. Neither is more or less noble.

Agree- self fulfillment is a much better, positive term to describe it.

Selfish carries negative connotations- (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

It is wrong to describe people like me, who have put thought into not want to have a child because I feel I would not be good enough to raise one, as selfish. I am selfless- concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own; unselfish.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Of course they are aware not everybody is a rich pigeon with disposable income and free time to plan ;P
And go to Spain,Vegas,New York,Italy,Paris and God knows were else, good thing the kid is only 3 years old and fits everywhere.

Im far from rich, we just budget and take advantage of deals as they come up.

Maybe they like to party. I can't travel to Barcelona and party with my SO if we have a kid to think about.

Traveling families are the most boring tourists I've ever seen. I don't want to be one of them.

We like to party too. If we want a party holiday we just don't bring her along, like when we went to Vegas. We're planning on Ibiza next year.

 

[SMOK3Y]

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation and with proper parentation can end discrimination.

Lol well written 😂

 

[DonShula]

That's also not universal. I knew by high school that I've never wanted kids and never remotely once wavered or had a second thought about it.

I new by my early 20s I wanted a job in academia for the flexibility and other perks of the job (vs. doing something else that paid more) and never once wavered.

People mature at different ages.

The bolded has nothing to do with the rest of your post. Making a decision and sticking to it does not equate to a high level of maturity.

 

[Astral Dog]

I essentially did everything you are talking about and found it less and less fulfilling as time went on. But like I said if you are enjoying your life then more power to you. No judgement at all. The last thing we need is more parents who don't want their kids.

You could volunteer at charities and give money to institutions not everything has to be about you

Spoiler

plus it can be FUN

 

[spock]

I also can't stress enough how much this one of the cases where it's really hard to hypothetically understand the you before and the you after having a child. It hits on such a fundamental/core level of your entire being. In regards to travel or missing out on certain things, etc. Yup, it's true. Sometimes even moreso than you thought. Certain hills may turn to mountains...

But it's a trade really. You trade went set of experiences/pleasures for another. Though and I don't want to say this in a negative way though it may come off as such. For most/many you will be trading "surface" level emotions/experiences for much deeper ones.

 

[SmartBase]

What surprised me is the amount of people seemingly using their desire to travel as a reason to not have kids. That's fine, but kids and travel isn't an either/or decision. Our daughter turns 3 in October and by try end of the year we'll have been to New York, Las Vegas, Spain twice as well as 7 or 8 weekends over in England (we live in Ireland). Las year we went to Paris, Amsterdam and Krakow, again with a bunch of weekend trips.

Unless you're going on holiday every month it's not really a restriction.

I do plenty of travelling and I've lived in four different countries over the last ten years and have just about finished another big move. There's not a snowball's chance in hell I could afford that lifestyle with a kid in tow (and I assume that​ would result in shitty parenting anyway). Outlier situation of course but I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[PlayALLtheGames]

34 and child free. My fiancée and I have talked about having a kid though; we want one. Honestly, I'm getting nervous about it because I feel like it's still a few years out, but I don't want to be old as shit when my kid is still an adolescent. She's 25 though so I guess she can play ball with him/her while I'm chilling in a rocking chair. Fucking life!