sleepnaught
Member
Would be a terrible parent. Watching my nephew from time to time is enough to test my nerves, I couldn't handle being a full time parent.
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Are there any childfree people here?
- Thread starter fireflame
- Start date
Yup. I never liked kids until we had one of our own.
Good friends of mine made the decision to never have kids and it makes sense for them as it does for other people. They're just not into the idea. Nothing wrong with that.
Better to not have kids if you don't want em, rather than to have them just because.
Sidewinder
Member
I'd be a miserable father in addition to being a miserable son, brother and friend, so no unless a miracle happens in my life.
Attack You
Member
A long time ago, my mother told me my father was the type of person who never should've had children. Still shook.
You should probably look into anger management if a couple of innocuous words joined together sets you off.
TickleMeElbow
Member
Would you want to punch your kid, if later in life they said they wanted to be child free lol?
highrider
Banned
It's an expression because it's a stupid word. I don't actually want to punch someone, it's more of a sentiment. Ever read The Onion? Kind of like that.
highrider
Banned
No lol. Besides, my son is bigger and stronger than me and he's 14. I'm 50. Old man strength is a myth.
Randolph Freelander
Member
"She died childless."
-"Oh, how sad."
"She died childfree."
-"Hey, good for her!"
The latter term is preferred among my people.
-"Oh, how sad."
"She died childfree."
-"Hey, good for her!"
The latter term is preferred among my people.
So I take it this was a drive-by and you don't plan on explaining what you meant?
acheron_xl
Member
No kids for the lady and I, thanks. Being responsible for myself is about the limit of what I'm capable of as a human. There's a reason I'm a 39 year old janitor.
Considering I first saw it years and years ago, I think that ship sailed.
Considering I first saw it years and years ago, I think that ship sailed.
SpacedCadette
Member
Currently I don't plan on having kids. I can't say I won't ever change my mind but right now I don't see myself having children. Who knows. Maybe I'll feel differently when I'm in my 30s. I am looking forward to being an aunt though. That'll be fun. Hopefully I'm less awkward around kids by then...
Martinski43
Member
At this rate with how my life is going relationship-wise i'll never have kids. But i don't mind, i dont have a life goal to have kids anyway. Also the world needs less people not more.
Professor Beef
Banned
Kids fucking stink, I ain't got time for their bullshit
TickleMeElbow
Member
I don't want kids at this point, but sometimes I wonder how I would feel if I did have a kid, and he/she eventually turned into a massive asshole. That shit happens all the time, even to theoretically "good" parents.
Like I can picture myself reminiscing back when my kid was 3, and he/she was laughing all adorable while I was pushing them on a swing set or whatever. Then flash forward 15 years to the present, and the fucker hates black people lol.
Like I can picture myself reminiscing back when my kid was 3, and he/she was laughing all adorable while I was pushing them on a swing set or whatever. Then flash forward 15 years to the present, and the fucker hates black people lol.
Big Green Anus
Member
When I was a kid, I always dreamed of becoming a father, but as an adult, absolutely not!
Yep. But who knows, maybe I will change my views in the future, when I'm slowly getting old and it's not way too late (35+).
Aye. You're leaving the world to the people who don't care about where the world / society is going, or worse, who are perfectly okay with it
I don't know a single childless old person who hasn't regretted not having kids of their own, but that's just anecdotes, and people's lifestyles today are much different than they were back then. - sure, they're all wealthy (yay) but also really lonely, some even demandingly clingy towards their relatives (like nieces / nephews), especially once their partner dies. My dad pretty much spends more time with my great aunt (no kids of her own) than he does with my mom.
Myself, I don't wanna end up being a lonely, cranky old man, for that reason alone i eventually wanna have kids, and i hope there'll be grand kids. I take great enjoyment from making gifts, so i'd make a great grandpa - i already make a great uncle, i think!
And it's best to spread the burden of "having to spend time with grandpa" across as many people.
But to each their own, i personally feel like many of those who choose to remain without children will regret it further down the road, but likely, many of those who have children also kindasorta regret the freedom they lost once they did have children.
nekkid
It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan.
I don't regret having kids, but I regret having somewhat wasted the years where we didn't have kids. Wish we'd taken more holidays, travelled etc. You certainly learn how precious time is.
I agree with your assessment on how demanding of time childless relatives can be.
this, totally.
There's that short (3-8? years) DINK (dual income, no kids) window where a couple has:
* a high amount of disposable income (post school / college, both with jobs)
* a low amount of responsibilites and financial burdens. (like, no kids, no mortgage)
the next time this window opens is around the age of 50-60, depending on when your kids move out and how fast they don't depend on you financially.
People often miss out on properly making use of said timeframe. Seeing as my SO is a teacher, we have roughly 4 more summers where we'd be able to do a big-ass trip to some remote place, and we're about to wasting 2017's summer holidays doing ... nothing :O
That is - if you're planning to have kids, of course. If you don't, you'll be able to enjoy that #dinklife throughout all your life.
Straight Edge
Member
Have a 6 year old girl. Can confirm having a kid rules!
Baron Doggystyle von Woof
Member
We had the same. Hold on, it will get better. Our baby had colic for three months.
It takes time and a lot of patience, but it will get better.
I respect people for not wanting to have a child. It's an amazing experience and I have no regrets whatsoever but say bye bye to your free time.
Skellig Gra
Member
One of the reasons I decided to have a kid actually. I was very on the fence about it.
Ask your parents
My husband and I are childfree. I never wanted kids, told my parents when I was 14 I was never having kids. I am 33 and still firm on that decision. I also cannot get pregnant due to some medication I am on, if I wanted to be pregnant I would have to be off of it a year prior to trying. No thanks. We are happy with our pets.
Greedings
Member
It's making it sound like some movement or collective of people. Not just a choice.
Kyle Rowley
Member
Are you married to Fiona Gallagher from Shameless?
and "childless" doesn't sound any more or less like a choice, really.
jobless, homeless, fatherless, childless
i guess i don't mind "childfree", really.
The only way to experience the rewarding feeling of having a kid is to have a kid - you can't read about it and say "yeah, I get it." It's pretty much impossible to explain, and people who have kids generally get that, whereas people who don't have kids merely think they get it. People who have kids generally understand what it's like to not have kids (they used to not, of course, and they send the kids off to grandma's or whatever for a week here and there). And rarely do those parents think to themselves "I wish I never had to see that kid again."
People who don't have kids say "I want all my free time" and people who do have kids say "what the hell would I do with all that free time?" Most parents I know readily acknowledge that they spent their adult lives pre-children wasting a ton of time doing little to nothing of value. Of course no one thinks this at the time - your priorities change when having kids, and your new view makes your old life look unfulfilling and wasted. I'd never expect anyone without kids to understand that.
I'd also note that childless people who want kids often enough want them for the wrong reasons. Some people like and want babies and make no consideration for the kid growing up. Some people are just shallow enough to want a kid because their friends or siblings have kids. Some people have kids to try to fix a relationship (woof). Some people want kids because they think it'll make them happier instead of addressing the source of their unhappiness directly. Point is, your reason for not wanting kids can be just as flimsy and silly as the reason some people do want kids. But actually having a kid can bring out a better version of yourself - you just won't know until it happens. It's impossible to know for sure, so I generally respect either decision. Can't blame someone for making a decision when it's basically impossible to simulate one of the outcomes during the decision making process,
People who don't have kids say "I want all my free time" and people who do have kids say "what the hell would I do with all that free time?" Most parents I know readily acknowledge that they spent their adult lives pre-children wasting a ton of time doing little to nothing of value. Of course no one thinks this at the time - your priorities change when having kids, and your new view makes your old life look unfulfilling and wasted. I'd never expect anyone without kids to understand that.
I'd also note that childless people who want kids often enough want them for the wrong reasons. Some people like and want babies and make no consideration for the kid growing up. Some people are just shallow enough to want a kid because their friends or siblings have kids. Some people have kids to try to fix a relationship (woof). Some people want kids because they think it'll make them happier instead of addressing the source of their unhappiness directly. Point is, your reason for not wanting kids can be just as flimsy and silly as the reason some people do want kids. But actually having a kid can bring out a better version of yourself - you just won't know until it happens. It's impossible to know for sure, so I generally respect either decision. Can't blame someone for making a decision when it's basically impossible to simulate one of the outcomes during the decision making process,
Pumpernickle Humperdink
Member
31, no kids mainly because of the women not the children themselves...
also, many people here seem to forget that kids grow up to be adults, with interesting stories, lives and families of their own, right?
("i hate kids")
when i'm 70, i'd sure like to have a bunch of people in their mid 30s having interesting and intellectually stimulating conversations about the current state of the world with me.
I don't wanna end up stuck in an "old people echo chamber" exclusively populated by similarly aged peers.
And apart from family, i don't think there's an easy way for a 70 year old to have 'young buddies'
("i hate kids")
when i'm 70, i'd sure like to have a bunch of people in their mid 30s having interesting and intellectually stimulating conversations about the current state of the world with me.
I don't wanna end up stuck in an "old people echo chamber" exclusively populated by similarly aged peers.
And apart from family, i don't think there's an easy way for a 70 year old to have 'young buddies'
MickeyPhree
Member
From what I read on GAF, most posters shouldn't be having kids anyway.
I should go into the ParentGAF thread to say I don't want kids and I think they're an obstacle to my happiness.
Maybe that'll be as annoying as people coming into a "childfree GAF" thread just to give some moralizing lesson about how "you change your mind once you have kids" or whatever.
Maybe that'll be as annoying as people coming into a "childfree GAF" thread just to give some moralizing lesson about how "you change your mind once you have kids" or whatever.
I came from a very low income family and spent the entirety of middle school through high school taking care of a younger brother and sister after getting home, cooking dinner helping clean etc etc. Baby sitting was my life, as an adult of 32 years I now enjoy a freedom with my time that was previously unknown and I can't for the life of me fathom having it any other way. Kids are fine but financial/time freedom trumps that parental fulfillment stuff, different strokes for different folks.
Zantetsuken
Member
I like kids, but don't want to be around them all the time. Also I like being on my own. Plus I can barely afford to take care of myself.
FUBAR McDangles
Member
I wanted to be a dad since I was probably 12 years old. I love kids.
And in September, at the age of 24, I will befinally be a father. It's exciting. Can't wait to raise someone, help them develop, and teach them so many things.
To the people who dont ever want kids - I understand everyone has preferences but personally I could not do that. It was never really a thought in my mind to not have kids.
Hell, even when I knew I couldn't have my own kids, I was volunteering through high school with coaching and after school programs, I worked at a childcare facility in college, babysat and nannied for a dozen families, I have been coaching for years, and have had a blast the entire time.
Kids can be annoying at times, but that just means you have to try something else to get to them. It is always a challenge and it is a blast. Overcoming the challenge of ending a tantrum is honestly something I enjoy a lot, and when a child finally comes out of that funk, or when they learn something, or have that lightbulb moment... Man, there is no greater feeling.
To those that plan on going child free - hope you enjoy it! It is not for everybody. Honestly, it is not for some parents out there so thinking things through more thoroughly before something happens is a great choice. If any of you guys decide to change your minds there are a bunch of resources all over the place.
And if not, have fun - that is what really matters anyway. I am going to have more fun being a dad than really anything else I can think of, and if you are the opposite then go for it. I wish it was more accepted by society to be child free and not the default. It is a stigma that should go away - felt something similar (though also completely opposite) when I would talk to friends and family about having kids when I was a teenager and in college and so on. You do you, child-free-gaf.
And in September, at the age of 24, I will befinally be a father. It's exciting. Can't wait to raise someone, help them develop, and teach them so many things.
To the people who dont ever want kids - I understand everyone has preferences but personally I could not do that. It was never really a thought in my mind to not have kids.
Hell, even when I knew I couldn't have my own kids, I was volunteering through high school with coaching and after school programs, I worked at a childcare facility in college, babysat and nannied for a dozen families, I have been coaching for years, and have had a blast the entire time.
Kids can be annoying at times, but that just means you have to try something else to get to them. It is always a challenge and it is a blast. Overcoming the challenge of ending a tantrum is honestly something I enjoy a lot, and when a child finally comes out of that funk, or when they learn something, or have that lightbulb moment... Man, there is no greater feeling.
To those that plan on going child free - hope you enjoy it! It is not for everybody. Honestly, it is not for some parents out there so thinking things through more thoroughly before something happens is a great choice. If any of you guys decide to change your minds there are a bunch of resources all over the place.
And if not, have fun - that is what really matters anyway. I am going to have more fun being a dad than really anything else I can think of, and if you are the opposite then go for it. I wish it was more accepted by society to be child free and not the default. It is a stigma that should go away - felt something similar (though also completely opposite) when I would talk to friends and family about having kids when I was a teenager and in college and so on. You do you, child-free-gaf.