See, there's this small issue that "nice guys" don't seem to understand.
Basically, from my perspective (as a women) the reason why some of us go out with these idiot, self absorbed, assholes is because they are fun. Women are full of emotions and sometimes these men pull out the good, the bad, and the ugly. It's exciting and an experience that we want to tell. I'm not trying to down guys who are nice but the problem is, guys who tend to be like that want to settle down and be sweet all the time. It's boring. Sorry, some women don't want to experience that yet. Of course there are girls out there who generally do want "do right by my side" kind of guy. However some just want our estrogen levels tampered with.
Girls like men with drama, and as much as some will say they don't, they are only half lying. Some women love the pain, love the arguing , the cheating just to have the excuse to be spiteful. We love to talk about it, we love to obsess over it. Shit, this is how some of us meet new friends and create sisterhoods. "Nice guys" unfortunately, do not come with those traits (which isn't a bad thing), but when your young and dumb, you don't want that. You want to explore and have stories to tell your girlfriends and your kids. Guys do the same thing, albeit not exactly the way that girls do it, but they want to get the most out of their experiences too. Some guys will say they love crazy girls and are pretty much only attracted to them, this sometimes is why.
It really is nothing personal. The reason why women finally wants that sweet guy towards the end is because at some point, women get maternal and want to settle down. They have already passed the "been there done that" stage and now want to be moms and have a guy who will do right by them. We just get tired of the bs. It was fun, but now its not. We all understand at some point that idiot guys will probably be lonely for the rest of their lives because we mature past that time. We understand, sometimes, that there was a time and a place.
The OP is a guy who had it all in reverse. He wanted something she didn't want and now while she's ready to rest her feet, he's getting started. Instead of him recognizing that it's what she wanted when she met him, instead he degrades her for doing exactly what he's doing now. It's pretty tasteless to be frank. If your a guy who wants to treat a women the way she deserves to be treated, there are tons of girls who want that. I just can't see why girls must take flak for wanting what we want at the moment that doesn't come within the general package of the "nice guy".
Disclaimer: I don't want to blanket the issue but just give sort of an insight to why some women do what they do. There are always more sides of the story.