Support NeoGAF

[Abstruse Moose]

Sorry to hear about your breakup OP. Keep your head up.

I look forward to the day where it's acceptable to criticize religion without having to wear kid gloves.

 

[Chmpocalypse]

You were to face this issue eventually but you handled it in the worst possible way, and after what you said I can't see any other outcome honestly.



Are you even serious? If you don't believe that insulting people's religion is like insulting them then I really don't know what to say.

Religion is chosen, not an inborn trait. It's not even close to the same thing as, say, insulting someone's height. Believers may feel like it's their identity, but it's a wholly mutable one.

 

[Tenebrous]

She sounds like an absolute disgrace. Good on you for getting rid.

 

[crowphoenix]

Religion is chosen, not an inborn trait. It's not even close to the same thing as, say, insulting someone's height. Believers may feel like it's their identity, but it's a wholly mutable one.

I wouldn't downplay how close to the core of a person it can become. Someone can change religion and beliefs, but the outcome can be more traumatic than changing one's ketchup preference.

 

[VincentMatts]

What a complete overreaction on her part. If she cant take criticism on her beliefs to the point where she threatens the relationship cause of that invisible guy comment, then you dump her and you dump her fast.

From my experience though, when overreactions like this happen its usually because they're looking for an excuse to bail. I mean i know religion is important to some people but come on. She was looking to bail and that gave her a reason to start attacking you. Theres nothing you can do at that point.

 

[Morrigan Stark]

I agree that it's natural for someone to get angry at another person for offending them and want to offend them back, but I don't think it's "appropriate" or the "right thing to do" (which is admittedly very subjective in the first place) especially when you are being called out that you're trying to defend that you have better morals.

It's not about having "better morals", it's being told you have no morals. If I were told that, my sense of morality would not be to turn the other cheek, but to defend myself.

What's bothering me is that there are some people in this thread think there's nothing wrong with what he said.

Considering the context, there really isn't.

I would argue that it's better to delicately handle feelings.

Religious people sure are delicate flowers. Better not do so much as brush against them, or the petals will start wilting.

Spoiler

/s

 

[VoxPop]

A real Christian won't have sex with you before marriage anyway. You're not missing out on anything. Dipset. You shouldn't have answered her in douchey way about her belief in fairy tales but it is what it is.

 

[Mariolee]

It's not about having "better morals", it's being told you have no morals. If I were told that, my sense of morality would not be to turn the other cheek, but to defend myself.


Considering the context, there really isn't.


Religious people sure are delicate flowers. Better not do so much as brush against them, or the petals will start wilting.

Spoiler

/s

Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
(Today, 12:53 PM)



What he did in response wasn't a defense of himself, but an offense of her. It was akin to her calling him out for having a pimple and then him in return calling her fat. He has not yet proven that he has a sense of morality but rather in his response he seems to show the opposite of that by offending her as well.

I mean, it doesn't make much sense to me that you're calling out religious people are delicate for being offended that having their personal God called imaginary when you're at the same time defending the OP for getting offended for being called amoral. Why is the former OK and the latter not? That's part of my issue, hopefully you can understand.

 

[GreatestHits]

*reads OP*
*skips to current page*
*reads first post*

Sorry to hear about your breakup OP.

Yup.

Christians that truly believe the book until death, they can't be with anyone but another Christian, right? Christians that are open-minded however, can be with people from other religions, but as I interpret the good book, that's really not being a true Christian. So back to the first sentence...

Doesn't matter if you were a dick or not, if you were being honest IMO. Fundamental beliefs about life are abrasive no matter what to people who believe very concrete things with no room for 'error', and are in relations with you, OP

Edit: You belittled her God. Yeah so yeah

 

[waxer]

Hi my friend talks to her dolls. "Get her help"
Hi my friend thinks she talks to Jesus "don't be a cunt"
If you look at the situation from a non believer view. Then situation seems pretty candid to me.

 

[Azulsky]

This is the one legitimate issue that has held me back from asking ladies out. I can see the roadblock from the other side of the galaxy.

 

[Apath]

Religion is chosen, not an inborn trait. It's not even close to the same thing as, say, insulting someone's height. Believers may feel like it's their identity, but it's a wholly mutable one.

You are purposely being dense if you don't think insulting someone's core beliefs that influences their entire life isn't insulting them.

 

[GreatestHits]

I think the more important question here is why people with such radical views on life are attempting relationships. Is it thirst?

 

[VincentMatts]

I dunno how many times i got a complete overreaction to something i said. And yeah, it might have been something stupid, but nevertheless, the reaction was completely blown out of proportions. And those girls, ultimately i think weren't completely satisfied or were angry for some reason and they just look for a reason to blow up. Like, how they should have done with the last guy that dumped them but since they didn't have the guts to do that at the time, they do with the the next guy. You.

It could be a million things really but to me, this reaction tells me youre better off without her. No matter now stupid the comment. Unless you call someone a cunt or a ho or something, theres no reason to not be able to talk things out.

 

[Tenebrous]

You are purposely being dense if you don't think insulting someone's core beliefs that influences their entire life isn't insulting them.

From the OP...

THIS IS WHAT I TOLD HER THE FIRST TIME: I would love for our children to choose their own religion, if they choose any. But don't try to force it on them. They are just kids, they need to grow and learn before choosing things like religion.
Then she told me they were going to be Catholics at all cost.

The OP hasn't done anything wrong, while the bolded part from his ex is sick.

 

[0ptimusPayne]

That's the problem with people like you OP. You have no right/reason to shit on someone else's beliefs, just because they don't hold true to you. I'm not extremely religious myself and I don't believe everything that I've read in the good book, but I realize the benefits of having faith like some people do and I totally respect that. Atheist should stop attacking people with faith, and people with faith should just stfu about people who don't believe in a higher being...Its that simple. More OT you can try your best to salvage what's there, but you might be running into more problems later on especially with the smart ass mocking you've seem to have done. Good luck OP, have some faith

 

[GreatestHits]

From the OP...



The OP hasn't done anything wrong, while the bolded part from his ex is sick.

Yeah so wtf, thirst, OP? Let these lovely ladies be courted by a Paul, or a Jacob, or a Job, maybe even a Jésus

 

[Two Words]

That's the problem with people like you OP. You have no right/reason to shit on someone else's beliefs, just because they don't hold true to you. I'm not extremely religious myself and I don't believe everything that I've read in the good book, but I realize the benefits of having faith like some people do and I totally respect that. Atheist should stop attacking people with faith, and people with faith should just stfu about people who don't believe in a higher being...Its that simple. More OT you can try your best to salvage what's there, but you might be running into more problems later on especially with the smart ass mocking you've seem to have done. Good luck OP, have some faith

Another criticizing poster that clearly didn't read the OP or thread.

 

[Rushersauce]

That's the problem with people like you OP. You have no right/reason to shit on someone else's beliefs, just because they don't hold true to you. I'm not extremely religious myself and I don't believe everything that I've read in the good book, but I realize the benefits of having faith like some people do and I totally respect that. Atheist should stop attacking people with faith, and people with faith should just stfu about people who don't believe in a higher being...Its that simple. More OT you can try your best to salvage what's there, but you might be running into more problems later on especially with the smart ass mocking you've seem to have done. Good luck OP, have some faith

I'm not going to bother answering this again.

 

[gruenel]

Nevermind.

 

[JustenP88]

This thread is going to make me reevaluate my stance on dating religious people. From some of the reactions in here you'd think OP made fun of someone with a handicap.

She insulted him. He insulted her. They had an argument. Big freakin' deal.

 

[GreatestHits]

This thread is going to make me reevaluate my stance on dating religious people. From some of the reactions in here you'd think OP made fun of someone with a handicap.

She insulted him. He insulted her. They had an argument. Big freakin' deal.

Exactly. Just stay away unless you know what you're doing. They're just flirting with the secular world unless they really are open-minded people

 

[Apath]

From the OP...



The OP hasn't done anything wrong, while the bolded part from his ex is sick.

I fail to see the relevance of this to my post. Whether or not insulting his girlfriend was justified is irrelevant to my post. Chmpocalypse argued that because religion is chosen, you are not insulting them as a person by insulting a person's religion. I disagree and find that statement silly considering people get personally insulted from way less.

 

[Two Words]

I fail to see the relevance of this to my post. Whether or not insulting his girlfriend was justified is irrelevant to my post. Chmpocalypse argued that because religion is chosen, you are not insulting them as a person by insulting a person's religion. I disagree and find that statement silly considering people get personally insulted from way less.

Religion is not shielded from criticism.

 

[Ketkat]

Religion is not shielded from criticism.

Its not criticism to say "Your religion is bullshit and your god is just an imaginary friend of yours!" That's just being an asshole

 

[RustyNails]

I can tell you're religious. Ask him about his fedora you're halfway there.

Already did!

 

[Two Words]

Its not criticism to say "Your religion is bullshit and your god is just an imaginary friend of yours!" That's just being an asshole

That is a pretty misleading quotation.

 

[Arkeband]

You don't respect your GF's beliefs, and she doesn't respect yours. That's the real issue here, not whether or not your beliefs are right, and hers are wrong, and vice versa. There's no point in being a militant atheist or a militant religious person. People should be free to be themselves and follow their own paths.

Non-belief isn't a belief.

 

[Bassets]

I actually met a girl recently that was into me, but because of my unbeliefs she told my friend we couldn't date.

Religion is a big deal to a lot of people. It's shallow as hell to be that way, but people are people.

 

[Servbot24]

Sorry to hear OP. Seems like you both did a bad job of interacting with each other, but you weren't really meant to anyways.

I actually met a girl recently that was into me, but because of my unbeliefs she told my friend we couldn't date.

Religion is a big deal to a lot of people. It's shallow as hell to be that way, but people are people.

It's not shallow at all. I'm sure you hold some core beliefs as well that you would require your mate to respect.

 

[GreatestHits]

Non-belief isn't a belief.

Yes it is. Geddy Lee even said so!

You can choose a ready guide
In some celestial voice
If you choose not to decide
You still have made a choice

 

[Acerac]

OP's original post made it sound like a random, insulting outbursts. His Subsequent posts have added context that explains how it got to that point. not sure he deserves all the fedora posts.

It's funny though, even when it doesn't make sense.

Don't you understand humor?

 

[aliengmr]

Regardless what was said, it doesn't seem like you were very compatible in the long term.

On the bright side, you and your future children will be free on Sundays.

 

[Mariolee]

OP, I think you should just not open this thread anymore. It's fairly apparent people won't read the update so you may as well save yourself the stress.

 

[cameron]

That's the problem with people like you OP. You have no right/reason to shit on someone else's beliefs, just because they don't hold true to you. I'm not extremely religious myself and I don't believe everything that I've read in the good book, but I realize the benefits of having faith like some people do and I totally respect that. Atheist should stop attacking people with faith, and people with faith should just stfu about people who don't believe in a higher being...Its that simple. More OT you can try your best to salvage what's there, but you might be running into more problems later on especially with the smart ass mocking you've seem to have done. Good luck OP, have some faith

The OP's post isn't scripture. No need to ignore parts of it and interpret the rest in a goofy way.

 

[wolfmat]

I'm glad I live in a country / region where this kind of behavior that the girlfriend exhibited is considered absurd by most. Or at least the people around me do so. Don't know everyone here, of course.

On the one hand, I think it's sad that she's considering her belief that important instead of just treating it as a tool to keep herself motivated and positive. Like Yoga or whatever.
On the other, she's probably happier with someone who doesn't disturb her principles that harshly, even if she's, in my opinion, much too defensive considering the topic, and takes the dispute too serious for her own good.

OP, I'm sorry it went down this way. I think there was little you could do though to turn this around.

 

[RetrospectiveLamb]

Sounds like you crapped all over her religious beliefs. Then again, Religion can be a deal breaker with people. I would just move on at this point. She said your hypothetical children would be Catholics at all costs, talk about a hostile future

 

[dragonzdogma]

OP I'm sorry for your break up.

I know many couples where one is a Christian and the other isn't
and they ended up in good terms or are still dating or married.
So don't fall into the lie that you will never be able to date women who are part of a religion.

Key things to understand are:
--On the issue of the Children having their own choice of religion--

As a Christian/Catholic, you have to raise your Children in a Church environment Christians belong to the body of Christ (it's Church).
Our children should be taught the word of God from their very earliest days. However, they must be allowed to mature sufficiently so that any commitment they make to Christ will be solely theirs, and not that into which they have been led—independent of adequate personal comprehension. It is not uncommon for parents to gently “push” their children into making decisions they are far too tender to appreciate.Some Parents could perform Baptism on them when they are babies or wait till the Child gets the concept for themselves.

 

[aly]

I actually met a girl recently that was into me, but because of my unbeliefs she told my friend we couldn't date.

Religion is a big deal to a lot of people. It's shallow as hell to be that way, but people are people.

It's shallow that something that shapes your behavior and lifestyle is a big deal to some people? That makes no sense.

 

[ntropy]

had a gf who was an atheist yet believed in astrology -- quite bizarre!

 

[demosthenes]

I actually met a girl recently that was into me, but because of my unbeliefs she told my friend we couldn't date.

Religion is a big deal to a lot of people. It's shallow as hell to be that way, but people are people.

The point of dating for a lot of people is to have the relationship grow into marriage. Some people see no point in dating someone if it can't evolve into that.

I'm not religious at all, I don't hate religion or anything it's just not a part of my life. Thus I most likely won't take my children to any sort of religious activities. I don't look for girls that want to raise their children with church b/c they wouldn't be happy with me nor I them.

What about this is shallow at all?

 

[wolfmat]

It's shallow that something that shapes your behavior and lifestyle is a big deal to some people? That makes no sense.

It's shallow that it's a dealbreaker. "You are either Christian or I don't want to date you" is not considering what kind of person the other guy is, just the religion. I think it's horrible to filter others like that, honestly.

I'd date a Christian / Muslim / Taoist / Whateverthefuck without judging. I don't get why I shouldn't. In an ideal world, everyone would do this imo. How anyone could think otherwise is beyond me. But w/e, people are people.

 

[EloquentM]

Seems like you both have communication problems, although she seems much more stubborn in the beliefs department.

 

[bone_and_sinew]

Catholic women are a hassle to date

 

[demosthenes]

It's shallow that it's a dealbreaker. "You are either Christian or I don't want to date you" is not considering what kind of person the other guy is, just the religion. I think it's horrible to filter others like that, honestly.

I'd date a Christian / Muslim / Taoist / Whateverthefuck without judging. I don't get why I shouldn't. In an ideal world, everyone would do this imo. How anyone could think otherwise is beyond me. But w/e, people are people.

How is it judging someone? Where was it said that they're a horrible person b/c they're religious/not religious/a diff religion or they're an idiot?

 

[Gordon Shumway]

I call him Space Ghost..

 

[Mauricio_Magus]

This is why I make it clear since day one that I'm an atheist and I will never ever go to a church, it makes shit way more easy and I'm surprised by how little negative reaction I've gotten.

 

[Mariolee]

It's shallow that it's a dealbreaker. "You are either Christian or I don't want to date you" is not considering what kind of person the other guy is, just the religion. I think it's horrible to filter others like that, honestly.

I'd date a Christian / Muslim / Taoist / Whateverthefuck without judging. I don't get why I shouldn't. In an ideal world, everyone would do this imo. How anyone could think otherwise is beyond me. But w/e, people are people.

I don't think you've made a particularly good case as to why it would be considered shallow aside from "it's judgemental" and "it's not indicative of the person." We've already seen the kinds of arguments that can play out as indicated by this thread for having different beliefs, and although I do think the girl was too quick to judge on you it doesn't mean she was being completely shallow. She just foresaw the major possibility that it could become a major issue and she doesn't want to invest time and her heart into something that will most likely not work in the end. It's not a judgement on you as a person, but on compatibility. Was she wrong? Who knows? But that doesn't sound shallow to me.

 

[demosthenes]

I don't think you've made a particularly good case as to why it would be considered shallow aside from "it's judgemental" and "it's not indicative of the person." We've already seen the kinds of arguments that can play out as indicated by this thread for having different beliefs, and although I do think the girl was too quick to judge on you it doesn't mean she was being completely shallow. She just foresaw the major possibility that it could become a major issue and she doesn't want to invest time and her heart into something that will most likely not work in the end. It's not a judgement on you as a person, but on compatibility. Was she wrong? Who knows? But that doesn't sound shallow to me.

Better said than me.

 

[EloquentM]

This is why I make it clear since day one that I'm an atheist and I will never ever go to a church, it makes shit way more easy and I'm surprised by how little negative reaction I've gotten.

Keeping it real