I don't see what's self-defeatist about it. Me personally I thought things would be better by now. I'm in my 30s, there's just no way in hell white society will ever see blacks as equals (this trickles down to how other minorities view blacks as well). Society views me as a nigger and there's not much I can do about it but prove people that interact with me individually wrong. Black people unfortunately are living the Sixth Sense in America, we have a special kind of existence and live on a different plane than most americans.
Half of reality (or at least part of it) is what others perceive of you. But most of it is of what you perceive yourself to be. Those other people...what do they matter? It isn't
your job to be on a life mission to change their opinion, you're just supposed to pursue happiness. If those are their opinions, it is up to them to grow a brain and begin learning about reality outside of indoctrinating systems.
But some of it goes back to a self-perception problem, and lack of self-confidence. I can't totally blame the people who feel that way, given the ever-repetitious images media continues to recycle (which inevitably destroy self-confidence). And I can't even completely blame a lot of the people who come to believe those as the true reality, because most people are too lazy to think for themselves or go against rigid systems recycling those tired messages. But I've already said what I have to say about
those individuals.
The real problem is a lot of black people in America today do not know about their heritage and history, and the only bits they DO know are the negative aspects. Every ethnic group has negative parts of their heritage, but by and large they also seem to balance that out with knowledge on the uplifting and positive aspects of their history. Black Americans, on the whole, do not do this. Part of the problem is the dependence on media to teach it, but media has no interest or responsibility to do so, and going into the factors for that is a discussion in itself. When such messages or images are given, they tend to be superficial (which in a sense is the case for all groups when it comes to media) and only set to trends for the sake of money. You won't find real worth there.
If black Americans came to know more about the parts of their history (and black people in general) that aren't related to racism, slavery etc., and taught that instead to youth, that would empower so many mentally. You wouldn't have a need for tripe like "The New Black" or w/e that mess is about; you'd have knowledge on real history, real information, and actual uplifting messages.
With that comes self-confidence and with self-confidence comes ambition, and with that eventually comes success. And of course, there will be individuals within and without who don't want that, but they can be dealt with along the way.