I had a nightmare about Smash Bros. last night. Seriously woke up sweating.
Masahiro Sakurai was at a party over here in California, and no one seemed to be paying attention to him. He doesn't know English so he can't ask for food or a drink so he just sits alone in the corner, bored and starving. So I go over there and bring him over to the kitchen counter and have him wait until I cook him some quality ramen. He is so pleased with me that he says in broken English, "Who is your favorite Nintendo character? They'll be playable in the next Smash." I was so amazing. Stupid ideas starting flooding my mind. Ambipom, cause he's my favorite Pokemon. That wouldn't be bad? But no, the community would hate me for wasting such a good opportunity. I could make loads of people happy if I said Ridley or Mewtwo.
So for whatever reason the next scene is Sakurai on a stage waiting for my answer. I'm in a crowd of people and am given a microphone. "Mr. Samurai, I thought about being selfish with my answer, but I decided to instead go with a character that will make as many people happy possible. I choose--" and then some random white guy grabbed the microphone from me and shouted, "MURLOC, WIZARD, and WARRIOR!" (I play Hearthstone occasionally...) and everyone started booing. All us westerners look the same to Sakurai so he couldn't tell that it wasn't me who shouted that answer. He shook his head, disappointed, and said, "I will let it be so." Then the mic and the asshole who stole my answer disappeared from sight and I couldn't try to salvage the situation.
Mr. Samurai. I thought we were becoming friends. Pls.
