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[Vanguardofyourdestruction]

Things are all making sense to me now. Never quite understood the allure of Japanese games (or anime's for that matter). All the characters just seems so perfect and unrealistic. But I guess that's what sells to Japanese men. Kinda sad tbh.

 

[Irminsul]

I don't know, allow for the fact that maybe I have been living here for 13 years rather than assuming based on my appearance that I just got off the plane. I think most would agree that it's better to enter a situation like that without any preconceived notions. Makes it easier to avoid causing offense.

It would perhaps be better, but I think it's simply impossible, as people that actually did just get off the plane would perhaps find the opposite to be offensive. Just look at how many people angrily write about arrogant Frenchmen assuming everyone knows French.

 

[Draft]

PS4 will solve this problem.

 

[Azulsky]

But what if that same work culture prevents them from having kids too? I'm not saying immigration wont' work, but it probably wouldn't work by itself.

Like many Hispanic families around my area must, you need to be willing to accept lower qol to have families large especially with a single earner setup. Multi gen homes allow for both parents to work while family supervises the babes.

 

[shanshan310]

But what if that same work culture prevents them from having kids too? I'm not saying immigration wont' work, but it probably wouldn't work by itself.

That's a good point. They still add to the population though, which will help for a while.

It would perhaps be better, but I think it's simply impossible, as people that actually did just get off the plane would perhaps find the opposite to be offensive. Just look at how many people angrily write about arrogant Frenchmen assuming everyone knows French.

There aren't that many westerns who stay in Japan for a long time anyway. No one, in my experience, has ever meant any offence when they are surprised at my knowledge of the language or that I'm not on holiday there etc. It can be a little frustrating when people try to explain simple things to you, but they only do it to be helpful, make conversation or make you feel more at home (even if the outcome is the opposite). No matter how long you live in Japan, strangers will never treat you as a local, and that's just one of the realities of living there, or any country with low levels of immigration.

 

[icy_eagle]

That explains the surveillance cameras I saw in quite a few karaoke joints in Tokyo.

I just assumed they were there to prevent you from bringing your own booze

Didn't stop me either way, lol

 

[Astarte]

PS4 will solve this problem.

'Gold plated toblerone hero, Knack, leads to exponentially increasing birth rate. When a couple was asked, the girl replied "I fucking love toblerone"'

 

[yongeandcollege]

Is there actually less sex or just less monogamous / long term coupling and kids?

 

[RSLAEV]

So the answer is immigration but not the lazy immigrants who can't be arsed to learn one of the most difficult languages in the world or conform to a rigid, complex social structure that will never be explained to them. Oh well, looks like Japan is doomed.


I'm sure once they're gone someone will find a use for all that land.

 

[SmackDaddy]

Man, that stinks. I don't get laid constantly, but I can't imagine living with that much disdain for boning. Enjoy worldly pleasures already

 

[Endo Punk]

Japan has leveled up to the point where sex isn't an issue, they just don't care and it has been this way since the the 90s; it's a part of everything they do so it's never brought up. That's why their entertainment and oversexualised media and games cause such a cultural shock in the West, we are just behind the curve.

 

[youta]

Do we really need to rehash the stupid "lol I'll save Japan with my penis" jokes? It literally adds nothing to the discussion, doesn't address the article or the issue at hand, and has already been said 50+ times in this thread alone. If you're so desperate for some Japanese women go look up porn sites.

Not to mention the fact that a guy's best bet is to hook up with a Japanese woman who has decided to leave Japan altogether.

The birthrate problem is a complex one, but the Japanese are certainly not oblivious to it (but actually fixing it is no easy task). I've mentioned previously that Japan needs to amend its day care system, and to overhaul their maternity/paternity leave policies (which I believe are legally sensible, but do not actually apply in reality). Immigration is also tough to deal with, but a small step forward would be to allow dual-citizenship (which might provide some incentive for the children of foreign mixed couples to consider living in Japan).

 

[Skinpop]

Things are all making sense to me now. Never quite understood the allure of Japanese games (or anime's for that matter). All the characters just seems so perfect and unrealistic. But I guess that's what sells to Japanese men. Kinda sad tbh.

japanese men don't really play video games. At least I never met one who did. If they do, it's slot and pachinko games. Games are pretty much considered kids play in japan.

 

[Piecake]

This whole immigrants are lazy business is complete ignorance. Know what? There is a big damn difference between Westerns who go to Japan because they think is cool or businessman who live their for the money and actual Asian immigrants who go there in the hopes of a better life.

But wait! Those people are lazy because they dont put effort into learning Japanese or Japanese culture! Yea, good luck finding any immigrant population that learned the standard language in the first and perhaps even second generation. Hell, in Minnesota we still had German schools and German newspapers out in the rural areas and we are mostly Norwegian and Swedish Immigrants! Spanish speaking immigrants in the US now? The same thing will happen during the second and third generation because learning English is how you get ahead since its the language of power.

As for actually learning it, well, I am sure all of your guy's Japanese courses in college, study abroad program and free time had nothing to do with it. What about people who don't have that kind of support? And are working 12 hours a day? Do they actually have time to learn it if their job isnt conducive to learning it? Do they actually receive support from the Japanese government with widely available and free/cheap Japanese as a second language adult classes? (actually curious about this) Will they feel apart of Japanese society if they actually do all of that?

Now, if Japan doesnt want to use immigration to solve its demographic issues, then fine, they can continue to tell the few there to fuck off, conform to Japan (still a dick move). If they actually want to increase immgration telling immigrants to fully conform to Japanese culture simply is not going to work because its not realistic, especially when those immigrants receive very little support in their new country

 

[Kirlia]

japanese men don't really play video games. At least I never met one who did. If they do, it's slot and pachinko games. Games are pretty much considered kids play in japan.

Seriously? o_o

 

[Vegivo]

PS4 will solve this problem.

#greatnessawaits

 

[Skinpop]

Not to mention the fact that a guy's best bet is to hook up with a Japanese woman who has decided to leave Japan altogether.

The birthrate problem is a complex one, but the Japanese are certainly not oblivious to it (but actually fixing it is no easy task). I've mentioned previously that Japan needs to amend its day care system, and to overhaul their maternity/paternity leave policies (which I believe are legally sensible, but do not actually apply in reality). Immigration is also tough to deal with, but a small step forward would be to allow dual-citizenship (which might provide some incentive for the children of foreign mixed couples to consider living in Japan).

Immigration would only help relieve the symptoms.
It's a complex issue but what I would like to see is subsidized education(many families don't get more than two kids because it's too expensive), work towards social acceptance of housewifing husbands and loosening up corporate norms to allow more people with high education to work with something fitting their competence at 75% or 50%.
This would mean it's more affordable to bring up more children, women wouldn't feel the same kind of pressure to be a housewife in situations where they are the career minded and the husband is ok with being stay at home dad(this is already happening more and more). The part time proposal would probably require most time and effort but would allow more flexibility for couples getting children to divide the attention between home/family as well as keeping connection to their profession even if it's only at 50% for the rest of their lives. It's better than having the same person working at a supermarket if it's someone with a decent education.

I personally think their inclination to prioritize raising children before earning more money to the household is commendable. I really can't see any downside whatsoever if a parent is fully or part time at home so long as it is willing and their economy is strong enough. The western idea of individualism where your own career and personal happiness and satisfaction is more important than raising your children the best you can is long term harmful imo. I find it disgusting when couples with young children divorce just because one or both of them feel they want more, something that I imagine often is caused by the stress, exhaustion and lack of communication that follows when both try to juggle a professional career while raising a family.

 

[Skinpop]

Seriously? o_o

yea I'm serious. I've never met a japanese man above 25 or so who plays video games. I'm sure they exist but it's definitely not normal at all. Even bringing up the subject is enough to anger some people as if even implicating they might play games is a bad thing. Most japanese working men only seem to spend their free time drinking with co-workers.

 

[studyguy]

I can understand the sentiment of not wanting to get tied down. Live with my girlfriend of nearly 6 years and I have absolutely 0 desire to tie to knot and get married. If I had a chance to get out of dodge and make a positive change, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I love the idea of having kids, getting a home, etc.
But the fact is I just can't afford to do so without making serious concessions to future goals. Girlfriend works for me. I love my girlfriend, and I can't see her as anymore more at the moment.

 

[EsotericManiac]

maybe it has to do with something like this

 

[Nyoro SF]

yea I'm serious. I've never met a japanese man above 25 or so who plays video games. I'm sure they exist but it's definitely not normal at all. Even bringing up the subject is enough to anger some people as if even implicating they might play games is a bad thing. Most japanese working men only seem to spend their free time drinking with co-workers.

Interesting. When I was there, I saw a few with PSPs. Must've been an anomaly.

 

[Skinpop]

Interesting. When I was there, I saw a few with PSPs. Must've been an anomaly.

Maybe handhelds are more acceptable, if you're fresh out of uni and working at a company yeah I could see that happen, and I probably have but a married man around 25-30 or above, I don't think so Even in uni very few had any interest in games. Might have been a coincidence but my impression is that it's mostly kids up till 20 or so that play games.

 

[Shouta]

Japan should have a program where they ship out japanese women to other countries to bring back husbands

I recall a town in Japan having a special financial plan for, I think men, that bring a foreign spouse back there to live. So it's happening, lol.

You could give tax breaks for people with children... ah who am I kidding, in reality there is nothing you can do to make a population generally reproduce more. In fact, in all of history, any population that has fallen bellow the 2.0 kids per parents birth rate has never come back to save itself. If Japan were to figure out how to do this it would be a historical first. Good luck!

They give a small stipend to help with children currently but it's not very much. i think 300-400 bucks a month? I don't know if they've raised it since I've left.

 

[Valkerionseven]

Either way, definitely agree that the whole women's paternity leave and day-care arguments are part of it. Hell everything mentioned is a part of it. But it always struck me as odd how some of these companies/businesses could literally just let a woman go when shes in the 5th month of pregnancy instead of giving her a few weeks off to have the kid then come back. And I know theres not many day-cares and the general consensus is to not let other people watch your kids in Japan, the whole "it takes a village" mentality definitely isnt there.

Then the whole housewife only mentality that continues to exist needs to go too. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife or husband, nothing wrong with staying with the family all day, not a single thing wrong with it. But getting married with the expectation of being a housewife now is pretty lame when its a vast majority of the countries way of thinking. Like someone else said, its a changing trend, more husbands are staying home, more wifes are going back to work ect. but its a slow change.

Current business practices in general just make in inconvenient. Sadly these practices have been in place since after WW2, and hell we all bitch about how slow Japan is to react to the changing games market, its pretty much the same for all facets over there. Old ways have a hard time changing.

There is just so many factors, almost all of which stem from that prototypical "Japanese stubbornness/slow to changeness" when things REALLY need to change.

 

[Skinpop]

There is just so many factors, almost all of which stem from that prototypical "Japanese stubbornness/slow to changeness" when things REALLY need to change.

the situation in politics doesn't exactly help either. Vote turnout is very low, they've changed prime minister seven times in the last seven years and people generally have low faith in their politicians, especially with the fukushima debacle going on.

 

[Angry Fork]

japanese men don't really play video games. At least I never met one who did. If they do, it's slot and pachinko games. Games are pretty much considered kids play in japan.

yea I'm serious. I've never met a japanese man above 25 or so who plays video games. I'm sure they exist but it's definitely not normal at all. Even bringing up the subject is enough to anger some people as if even implicating they might play games is a bad thing. Most japanese working men only seem to spend their free time drinking with co-workers.

Now I know why Nintendo doesn't make mature games.

 

[Aztechnology]

Setting aside the group of people that hates anything different than them, which all countries have, the Japanese do not hate immigrants. They hate lazy immigrants. Most Asian cultures require a lot more effort and learning than simply knowing the language or knowing that you bow. There's a different way of doing things in almost every daily circumstance (literally, even down to how you pay for shit at a conbini), and a lot of the foreigners I came across in my years there are just too fuckin lazy to ever try to learn or adapt. And it's not even about becoming some weeaboo otaku Davido-kun expert of Japanese culture, it's about humbling yourself a bit a to try and learn and conform to a lifestyle that is more than likely much different than your own.

There's a reason why a great deal of foreigners (who are not actually trained in education) fall into English teaching jobs in Japan, or why after years and years you'll still find foreigners who can barely speak Japanese or know how to transfer ownership of a car or know what color tie to wear to what occasion - it's because they're lazy and choose the easiest way of living there. A lot of people used to counter that the barrier of entry is impossibly high for foreigners for anything but some sort of teaching job, but I always asked those people just how much they applied themselves in terms of not just the language but the culture. Not surprisingly, it was always very little. Sorry, off topic.

No offense but alot of the stuff the Japanese do seems extremely counterproductive for a developing culture. Foreigners are not necessarily lazy, they would just rather devote that energy to something worthwhile or enjoyable than to stress themselves out trying to conform and be submissive to cultural norms. A lot of developed countries EU, US pride themselves in diversity and standing out. In Japan it seems they hammer down the nail that sticks out.

 

[BocoDragon]

I don't know, allow for the fact that maybe I have been living here for 13 years rather than assuming based on my appearance that I just got off the plane. I think most would agree that it's better to enter a situation like that without any preconceived notions. Makes it easier to avoid causing offense.

.

Here's the problem: I went to Japan and occasionally Japanese people would over-estimate my ability to communicate with them. I can speak Japanese, but just at a tourist level. They actually assumed I was a capable foreigner, and I betrayed that assumption... Causing embarrassment. No doubt the next time they interact with a gaijin, they will presume they are the helpless kind. I really messed it up for permanent residents... But then I'm sure that happens all the time.

 

[Shouta]

Here's the problem: I went to Japan and occasionally Japanese people would over-estimate my ability to communicate with them. I can speak Japanese, but just at a tourist level. They actually assumed I was a capable foreigner, and I betrayed that assumption... Causing embarrassment. No doubt the next time they interact with a gaijin, they will presume they are the helpless kind. I really messed it up for permanent residents... But then I'm sure that happens all the time.

Even if you speak a solid amount of Japanese, they'll expect you to understand the ins and outs of cultural communication that aren't exactly taught as a part of learning the language. It's pretty unreasonable, heh. Honestly, their expectations are ridiculous goofy and often doesn't make any sense.

 

[BocoDragon]

japanese men don't really play video games. At least I never met one who did. If they do, it's slot and pachinko games. Games are pretty much considered kids play in japan.

I have seen game centres full of salarymen.....

 

[Toxi]

Question to JapaneseGAF: Since there has been a lot of discussion on western immigrants in this thread, what are attitudes towards Korean immigrants in Japan? One of the people I know was a 2nd gen Korean Japanese and she had a botched relationship thanks to the family in question not tolerating Koreans. Is this widespread, or is it just an occasional thing?

I'd just like to point out that statistically, most industrialized countries are moving towards Japanese birth rates, rather than Japan moving towards them. Japan is the extreme end of the spectrum, but a significant number of developed nations are near the break even point or are already marginally depopulating.

This does not mean that Japan doesn't have its own unique quirks. But it does mean that even absent those quirks we'd reasonably expect Japan to have a low birthrate relative to historical standards or modern day standards in third world countries.

Opiate
Depressingly Realistic
(Today, 07:15 AM)

 

[RM8]

I have seen game centres full of salarymen.....

Or just one train ride, really.

 

[icy_eagle]

Even if you speak a solid amount of Japanese, they'll expect you to understand the ins and outs of cultural communication that aren't exactly taught as a part of learning the language. It's pretty unreasonable, heh. Honestly, their expectations are ridiculous goofy and often doesn't make any sense.

Is Japan really any different from other countries in this regard?

 

[kewlmyc]

Once Androids or even better true virtual reality sex becomes possible I can see a lot of Japanese males completely forgoing real women.

To be fair, I'd probably do the same...

 

[jerry1594]

Life in the developed world just doesn't favor people having kids. With more education everyone wants more for themselves, more career opportunities that having kids would sabotage, more freedom to move around and fulfill personal goals and dreams. Everything's a lot more expensive than it used to be, so having even one kid is unfeasible for many couples until a certain point in life. Every developed and even recently industrialized countries have peaked or are going to peak in the near future. Except for the US no idea as to why.

Here's an interactive map from the UN showing projections for individual countries

 

[Decado]

Casual sex and short-term trysts on the rise? Could be time to visit Japan...

 

[Shouta]

Is Japan really any different from other countries in this regard?

Yes, because in most cases, there's some semblance of sanity. Or you'd have people that actually will explain what's going on and/or why it doesn't work that way. It's really rare to find either in Japan. This is from 4 years of living and working in Japan.

Don't attend event because no one tells me, people get mad. Try to figure out when event happens, get told not to look into it. fml.

 

[Valkerionseven]

Things are all making sense to me now. Never quite understood the allure of Japanese games (or anime's for that matter). All the characters just seems so perfect and unrealistic. But I guess that's what sells to Japanese men. Kinda sad tbh.

And women. The idealized person has been smashed way to hard into Japanese youth/younger adults. It has even come into the realworld with idol groups, multi-media talent groups where the members cannot date/be in relationships, for no better reason than they would lose fans (money for the management). Which is made even more ironic since nearly all the songs are about love, or the opposite sex and not subtitle hidden at all. Just look at stuff like Dynasty Warriors, those characters embody the "perfect male and female" in Japanese pop media today.

Speaking of that, I am a fan of the idol group AKB48, but even I think its pretty insane how they perpetuate this culture of non sexuality. Idol groups male or female are supposed to be these perfect people, with no relationships ect. Then of course the culture mimics them because they are everywhere. Keep seeing so many chicks on websites like nicovideo talking about how they don't have a bf because they want to be "an idol" and shit...

That said it is sad the idol mentality is spreading to (mostly) younger girls even as young as elementary school, and the guys who expect them to be that way so they can look, but not touch... or even consider touching, is just a nightmare to me lol. I have a favorite AKB member, and I love following her for all the usual celeb reasons, like being talented, interesting, funny ect. but a main difference from a lot of other Japanese male fans... I would fuck the hell out of her! It really shocked me to find out how many Japanese male fans, who are of a similar age as the member they follow, have 0 sexual attraction to them, at first anyway. It really comes through when you see which members are the most popular. The actual sexy members are not as popular as their cutesy counterparts :/

Seriously how can any fan not want to just do...horrible...horrible things to this...

/notmadiswear

Anyway, the last year or so their have been shows that kinda try to promote dating at least. Like the 99 has a full show now about every month... or every other month where they get a bunch of men and ladies to apply to a dating show where they have a 2 days to get to know each other, then a guy will ask one of the ladies out. Some of the couples are fucking adorable, and its like "omg i hope it works out for them!" then it turns out something like only 5 of the 40ish couples that come out of every episode stick together after like 2 weeks lol. Most likely because the women are taken from all over Japan, and the men are locals to w/e prefecture they are visiting, thus making any coupling long distance at best. Hell there was even a white dude on the last episode! some guy living in Okinawa writing trash teen novels about becoming a futuristic american samurai... or something haha. But he was nice so I felt for him when he basically got approached only by old ladies sick of Japanese dudes... and the one girl around his age who was super cute that he picked lol.

Then there is stuff like Terrace House which tries to show normal young adults, and their struggles with work and love lol... which ironically had an idol from akb in the first few episodes and showed the exact problem with the idol mentality and the relation it breeds with men. One guy falls for her, takes her out, super nice, she kinda starts getting into the guy, and has to cut it off because it would ruin her career, and boom what happens her ranking in the group drops out, WHICH WAS BS BECAUSE IT WAS DAMN GOOD TV WATCHING THAT SITUATION! Even another show where celebs kinda confess to each other that they got a thing for each other... which usually does not work out because once again, career.

Lucky some celebs are using their star power to kinda get people together, at least one is. Atsushi Tamura regularly tweets and streams stuff for his fans just to give them shoutouts. Hes also kinda a love junkie who tries to hook people up/be a jerk (with a kinda heart in the end) about it, since he just like to poke people who get embarrassed easy. He set up a huge gathering for his single fans to meet up and ask numbers/dates ect. Not even for tv or anything he just wanted to do it, and it was a pretty big success. I think his network wanted to get in on the action though and wont let him do it again unless they can air it on TV $$$

yes... im a Japanese tv junkie, <3 looking at media in a sociological and just entertainment way.

 

[Deleted member 17706]

The work culture really needs to change, and it will eventually. Who knows what the population will be when it does, though.

The whole "work for 10-14 hours a day and never take time off regardless of whether or not you actually have any work to do" norm is simply not sustainable. It may have been during the bubble era and everyone was getting paid, but not these days when wages are shit.

Obviously the work culture isn't the only issue, but it's certainly a big part of it. It's hard to have any desire to start a family in that kind of environment.

Every year, more and more young people are rejecting the this norm, either by quitting within a few years of getting a full-time job, or simply not entering the full-time work force in the first place.

 

[mujun]

Even if you speak a solid amount of Japanese, they'll expect you to understand the ins and outs of cultural communication that aren't exactly taught as a part of learning the language. It's pretty unreasonable, heh. Honestly, their expectations are ridiculous goofy and often doesn't make any sense.

Yep. A bit of logic would go a long way.

It would perhaps be better, but I think it's simply impossible, as people that actually did just get off the plane would perhaps find the opposite to be offensive. Just look at how many people angrily write about arrogant Frenchmen assuming everyone knows French.

I've never been to France but what I've heard on numerous occasions is contrary to what you are saying. That is that French people don't assume that everyone knows French but rather think that everyone who comes to France should know French.

 

[faridmon]

As for actually learning it, well, I am sure all of your guy's Japanese courses in college, study abroad program and free time had nothing to do with it. What about people who don't have that kind of support? And are working 12 hours a day? Do they actually have time to learn it if their job isnt conducive to learning it? Do they actually receive support from the Japanese government with widely available and free/cheap Japanese as a second language adult classes? (actually curious about this) Will they feel apart of Japanese society if they actually do all of that?

This is what people don't realise. Japanese Language is a hard language to master due to its vowel based phonetics. Not only does it take a dedication and a long time to actually the language in the first place, but also to master the ''Japanese'' way of talking is even more challenging. Not to mention the characters and whatnot
People do not have the time, money and opportunity to learn a language in this hard economical hardship, let alone a difficult language such Japanese in order to actually live in that environment and furthermore, thrive in it.

A lot of people are talking me into the country, and sorry, I have released that I really don't have the mean to do it.

Spoiler

I might as well go to Singapore, where English is the common language

Question to JapaneseGAF: Since there has been a lot of discussion on western immigrants in this thread, what are attitudes towards Korean immigrants in Japan? One of the people I know was a 2nd gen Korean Japanese and she had a botched relationship thanks to the family in question not tolerating Koreans. Is this widespread, or is it just an occasional thing?

I am no Japanese by a long shot, but I did have a good Korean how was born and was raised in Osaka and, I have to emphasis on the fact that its very rare to happen, grew in Japanese society (in fact his Japanese was better than his Korean). He did mention the fact that he did encounter a lot of hardship along the way just the fact that he was Korean Descendent but also, he did made a lot of understanding friends who empathised with him more. This should deter the fact that he did stood out and he either faced rudeness or kindness just because of his origin.
There are a large Korean communities in Fukuoka, for instance, where they reside for generations, and they do face a lot hardship there. They seem to be more secluded though as they have their own schools which is taught on thier tongue and culture.

 

[AnkiRendan]

Even if you speak a solid amount of Japanese, they'll expect you to understand the ins and outs of cultural communication that aren't exactly taught as a part of learning the language. It's pretty unreasonable, heh. Honestly, their expectations are ridiculous goofy and often doesn't make any sense.

100% agreed. I had an ex-girlfriend here in Toronto who stayed here for a year. We went out with some of my friends and she introduced me to her friend from Montreal, who was a pretty hardcore otaku. We were having a good conversation and the other three plus my ex-girlfriend became quiet. I asked if anything was wrong and they said no.

After everyone left, my ex-girlfriend got pissed at me because I kept talking to her friend without sensing that the others wanted to go home. We were near the subway station. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't that easy to tell if they wanted to go home. After all, if someone has to go then usually they would just say they had to go. She wouldn't have any of it and kept complaining about how she wished I would try to understand Japanese people more.

That relationship was four months too long.

 

[Shouta]

100% agreed. I had an ex-girlfriend here in Toronto who stayed here for a year. We went out with some of my friends and she introduced me to her friend from Montreal, who was a pretty hardcore otaku. We were having a good conversation and the other three plus my ex-girlfriend became quiet. I asked if anything was wrong and they said no.

After everyone left, my ex-girlfriend got pissed at me because I kept talking to her friend without sensing that the others wanted to go home. We were near the subway station. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't that easy to tell if they wanted to go home. After all, if someone has to go then usually they would just say they had to go. She wouldn't have any of it and kept complaining about how she wished I would try to understand Japanese people more.

That relationship was four months too long.

Oh god, I hate that so much. especially if they were living overseas. >=|

 

[Deleted member 17706]

100% agreed. I had an ex-girlfriend here in Toronto who stayed here for a year. We went out with some of my friends and she introduced me to her friend from Montreal, who was a pretty hardcore otaku. We were having a good conversation and the other three plus my ex-girlfriend became quiet. I asked if anything was wrong and they said no.

After everyone left, my ex-girlfriend got pissed at me because I kept talking to her friend without sensing that the others wanted to go home. We were near the subway station. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't that easy to tell if they wanted to go home. After all, if someone has to go then usually they would just say they had to go. She wouldn't have any of it and kept complaining about how she wished I would try to understand Japanese people more.

That relationship was four months too long.

The whole aspect of "reading the air" (direct translation of &#31354;&#27671;&#12434;&#35501;&#12416 seems to be something you either pick up early on or not at all. It's a very important aspect of Japanese society, though and is kind of reflected in every aspect from the context-sensitive language that tends to abbreviate and leave things ambiguous to the many many unspoken rules that people are expected to follow. If you pick up on it early, everything will come rather naturally, but I could see it being very hard on people who don't get it.

 

[Maxim726X]

I find it incredibly interesting that societal norms and trends have caused an asexuality among an entire generation of people.

Do they just suppress the urges? If they're shut off long enough, does it stop being a driving force? Are they simply lying to themselves? Because I don't think it's a stretch to say that it's unnatural to be uninterested in sexual relations.

 

[MGrant]

The whole aspect of "reading the air" (direct translation of &#31354;&#27671;&#12434;&#35501;&#12416 seems to be something you either pick up early on or not at all. It's a very important aspect of Japanese society, though and is kind of reflected in every aspect from the context-sensitive language that tends to abbreviate and leave things ambiguous to the many many unspoken rules that people are expected to follow. If you pick up on it early, everything will come rather naturally, but I could see it being very hard on people who don't get it.

This sounds like it could be very frustrating. Is there any Japanese equivalent to shuffling your feet and drawing out a long "Aaaaanywaaaaay..." or is it all completely nonverbal?

I find it incredibly interesting that societal norms and trends have caused an asexuality among an entire generation of people.

Do they just suppress the urges? If they're shut off long enough, does it stop being a driving force? Are they simply lying to themselves? Because I don't think it's a stretch to say that it's unnatural to be uninterested in sexual relations.

I wouldn't say it's unnatural on the whole, just uncommon. I know a woman who just doesn't have a libido, even though she is interested in romantic relationships. She just doesn't care about sex, never has, and identifies as asexual. I wouldn't dream of telling her that she's in any way unnatural, because as far as I can tell, she is happy in her life.

EDIT: But across the Japanese population, it does indeed seem like some environmental pressures are inhibiting healthy sex lives for those that would otherwise seek them.

 

[Zoe]

I recall a town in Japan having a special financial plan for, I think men, that bring a foreign spouse back there to live. So it's happening, lol.

They need it in the rural areas cause no-one wants to live on a farm.

 

[Ether_Snake]

There's 120m Japanese, maybe that's actually too much and this is just a rebalancing act?

 

[mujun]

The whole aspect of "reading the air" (direct translation of &#31354;&#27671;&#12434;&#35501;&#12416 seems to be something you either pick up early on or not at all. It's a very important aspect of Japanese society, though and is kind of reflected in every aspect from the context-sensitive language that tends to abbreviate and leave things ambiguous to the many many unspoken rules that people are expected to follow. If you pick up on it early, everything will come rather naturally, but I could see it being very hard on people who don't get it.

The same thing (to a lesser degree I would say) exists in Western culture, right? The problem for me is that there are also situations where being straight forward or direct would be the better option but most people here can't make the switch.

 

[Shouta]

They need it in the rural areas cause no-one wants to live on a farm.

Yep.

Honestly, rural Japan is so much better than urban Japan that it's almost scary.