My experience with my friend had left me thinking. I already knew what sex was and, theoretically, what you were supposed to do during the act, even if I didn't actually know what a vagina was (or even, where it was supposed to be). But I was still very young, and thinking back I wasn't really sure why people did it, or why it made me feel so weird (in a good way) to be thinking about it. I had some weird fantasies back in the day too, and they only became weirder in a very short time.
There was a girl I liked in my classroom. She was a pretty brunette as girlish as they come, and she liked playing soccer with the guys, which was great because I was very good at soccer. On Wednesday (the previous baby game had happened on Saturday) we crashed during training and I fell on top of her, feeling her body (or how I assumed it was) under mine. We stood up quickly and she was on her way but it definetly seemed something different for me than for her, and I noticed it pretty quickly. I couldn't get it out of my head how mostly asexual everything must've been for her, and yet here I was, pervertedly wanting to feel all her body under my hands. This was the first time I felt I was a deviant, and where I decided to stick my fantasies to my head, and leave them there. I felt like a dirty kid.
That night I dreamt I had hunger for people. I was walking around school, looking to eat someone, and I knew my mouth could, at a moment's notice, become a gaping hole where any person would fit neatly, allowing me to swallow them whole (I had never seen gore in my life, and there was no blood, guts, crunching bones or anything like that in my mind). The school was mostly empty, but after walking around for a while, I found her near the library, almost as if she was waiting for me. Her eyes had tears but there was a smile of anticipation on her. "Don't eat me please" she begged, but I knew she wanted to be eaten, and in a moment she was gone. I had swallowed her whole, but I knew she wasn't in my stomach, she was somewhere else, where she was mine now.
I woke up in a cold sweat and with my heart beating fast. I was afraid of myself, and afraid my dreams, but I enjoyed them dearly. It was also the last time I would be physically close to this girl, but she would dominate my day dreams for years.
