I take all these points.
But I guess it's ingrained. I try to treat everyone with tolerance and respect.
I was told on tinder by a girl that she was trans. As soon as I heard that I had no Interest in her anymore. I politely said sorry but I'm mot interested. At that point she went on a tirade of calling me transphobic among other things.
From these replies I feel like I'm being made to be a bigot when I genuinely don't feel that way. I cant help who I find sexually attractive and who I don't. I also don't feel as though I should be labelled a bigot because of my attractions, or anyone should for that matter.
If I recognise a trans woman as a woman, but don't find them sexually attractive, is that me contradicting myself? Or is it simply my sexual tastes at play.
I think situations like these are kind of rough. I think if you're in some sort of hypothetical situation where you're really attracted to someone and compatible in all realms and then find out they're trans and suddenly that's a turn off then there's something there, but I"m talking about like post operation and you've already had sex that sort of thing. It'd be similar to finding out a significant other used to be fat or something where their physical appearance used to be something else an that turned you off.
Why this is all strange is because you're probably like me in that you're not attracted to penises. Sorry, but I don't like 'em. Being attracted to my significant others genitals, as crude as that sounds, is a big deal. Now when you're just trying to start to date someone you can't just out and ask someone about their genitals. That's fucking weird. So when you hear someone is trans there's a lot of possibilities there and I think you, like many others, probably bow out at that.
And unfortunately trans people probably have to out and say they're trans right off the bat because some people can get cruel and turn a complete 180 after finding out, so they want to be on the same page, which hinders things because it also stops attraction before it can start.
I genuinely feel for the trans people that have to wade through things like that through obviously no fault of their own.
So, you had no idea what was in her pants? You entirely discarded her because she was trans and no other reason? How is it you can possibly justify that as not being transphobic?
I guess that's genuinely the question here. What's etiquette with this sort of question? If someone is talking to you on a dating site and says they're trans do you/can you ask about their genitals?