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[johancruijff]

Okay see, what my thought process was here was pretty simple.

I thought:

After the final, I won't see her on a regular basis.

Instead of going through the hoops of asking her out, deciding on a place, and whatever, which I didn't feel like doing, I figured, "If I ask this and she doesn't reciprocate, there is only one more class before I never have to see her again"

I wouldn't be heartbroken by this, I just have a thing for her and that's it.
I was thinking that if I did this, I wouldn't be putting anything on the line unlike a date where I would drive there and pay for a meal and what not for a higher possible chance at fingerbanging but more resources spent, compared to no resources spent with a higher percentage of failing

It's like XCOM.

Use the mimic beacon and flank her

Bam 99% shot

 

[Mitch]

I just woke up, and jeez people think this is fake? Well, it's not. The tone of the moment, I could elaborate on, if it makes any difference. Not that it makes what I said anyless creepy. Since we joke around with each other in almost all our interactions, it came off as her not thinking I was serious and setting up a joke/bit. I don't think she takes me seriously and, reflecting on the whole thing, may have thought this was part of it. Just another aspect of this that may need some elaboration.

No. She thinks you're a loser.

 

[Inferno313]

Okay you might have a point, but I didn't think she was a good match for me dating wise she cute and whatnot but we don't have much in common. Maybe this is due to my inexperience, but the dates I have gone on in the past went nowhere and I was out $20 bucks. And that was with girls I thought I had chemistry with.

Shit, $20? That's cute, dude.

 

[kiguel182]

You asked someone you weren't dating to "fool around"? Why did you think that was a good move?

Just ask her out and then see where things go.

You never kissed a girl and you are thinking of fingering someone in a car?

"Just for three minutes" sounds really desperate too.

But hey, rookie mistake I guess. Don't do it again.

 

[pirateluigi]

I just woke up, and jeez people think this is fake? Well, it's not. The tone of the moment, I could elaborate on, if it makes any difference. Not that it makes what I said anyless creepy. Since we joke around with each other in almost all our interactions, it came off as her not thinking I was serious and setting up a joke/bit. I don't think she takes me seriously and, reflecting on the whole thing, may have thought this was part of it. Just another aspect of this that may need some elaboration.

Even beyond asking to fool around

Spoiler

Why?

if you flirt with someone or ask them out and they respond like you're joking.... they know you weren't joking. They were trying to let you down easy.

 

[Mendrox]

You're mistake was not first showing how good you are with your fingers. Then saying "Only need 10 secs".

Perfect.


Also blame space man. Are you fine?

 

[outunderthestars]

Maybe this is due to my inexperience, but the dates I have gone on in the past went nowhere and I was out $20 bucks.

Your view of dating is incredibly fucked up.

 

[kiguel182]

Reading the other replies and lol

Even if you just want casual sex that is not the way to go about it.

 

[Secret Fawful]

Blame space's post fooling people into thinking it's real is one of the funniest things in this thread.

 

[Vicetrailia]

If this is not a joke (obviously it is), you just learned op that the method you just did won't work 99.9% of the time. So next time you should probably ask her out. It's more work but you'll have a higher success rate.

 

[Bronx-Man]

Okay see, what my thought process was here was pretty simple.

I thought:

After the final, I won't see her on a regular basis.

Instead of going through the hoops of asking her out, deciding on a place, and whatever, which I didn't feel like doing, I figured, "If I ask this and she doesn't reciprocate, there is only one more class before I never have to see her again"

I wouldn't be heartbroken by this, I just have a thing for her and that's it.
I was thinking that if I did this, I wouldn't be putting anything on the line unlike a date where I would drive there and pay for a meal and what not for a higher possible chance at fingerbanging but more resources spent, compared to no resources spent with a higher percentage of failing

It's like XCOM.

So what you're saying is, you had a 96% to hit and you still missed?

 

[PixelatedBookake]

No. She thinks you're a loser.

I need to stop trying to rationalize the moment. I honestly don't know how to practice this stuff. Talking about girls and relationships were frowned upon in my house since I was a kid. I spent my entire life with unrequited crushes and embarrassing attempts to ask out girls. Failed dates, too. Finally started working on myself late last year, gym work, well-fitting clothes, and what not. Doesn't change who I've been, man. Combined with being bullied a lot during middle school (formative years) I developed low self-esteem issues and body issues. I went to therapy to deal with these issues, but failed to address the relationship ones because I was abstaining from interacting with girls until I felt better about myself and so that topic never came up. That, down to the root, is probably, no IS the reason this happened.


EDIT: and not to make it a therapy session or anything, but the social concept of "black masculinity", growing up in a predominantly black area, being pushed on me by my peers during middle/high school and, due to me being less masculine and more awkward, was called " faggot" and gay and whatnot on a regular basis. That may be an aspect of it.

 

[notaskwid]

Oh, so that's what you meant by 3 minutes of nothing crazy.

 

[Jack The Nipper]

This is reminding me of that guy that looks up his girls address and tells her about it now.

Your explaining too much honestly. Just learn to forget all the ideas you think. This is the whole reason you lost three minutes in the tree anyways.


I know people are mean in middle school though but throwing your fingers around isn't that great. Just take it slow and wait til you like someone so you aren't having to dive in. It will work out better when they understand you and will be patient as you fumble

Treat girls like you would the opposite sex, if you can't get along without just wanting sex then it isn't going to be fun for you.

 

[IlGialloMondadori]

I need to stop trying to rationalize the moment. I honestly don't know how to practice this stuff. Talking about girls and relationships were frowned upon in my house since I was a kid. I spent my entire life with unrequited crushes and embarrassing attempts to ask out girls. Failed dates, too. Finally started working on myself late last year, gym work, well-fitting clothes, and what not. Doesn't change who I've been, man. Combined with being bullied a lot during middle school (formative years) I developed low self-esteem issues and body issues. I went to therapy to deal with these issues, but failed to address the relationship ones because I was abstaining from interacting with girls until I felt better about myself and so that topic never came up. That, down to the root, is probably, no IS the reason this happened.

I said it earlier, and I'll say it again: girls are just people. Just talk to her like anyone else, not like you want to finger her in her car, even if that's what you want to do. Just talk about whatever you normally talk about.
Unrequited crushes are bullshit. Just don't get too caught up in things. Talk, hang out, don't worry about whether you're fingering her or not.

 

[King Tubby]

You need to stop jumping into engagements and taking 25% pot shots with your squad of rookies. Move slowly into high cover and use overwatch. You get a lot more hits that way.

i.e. be more relaxed and don't try to force things. Women will be far more receptive to that than what you're doing now, which makes you come off desperate.

 

[Bold One]

 

[Stereogatari]

Life is hard.

 

[hampig]

I need to stop trying to rationalize the moment. I honestly don't know how to practice this stuff. Talking about girls and relationships were frowned upon in my house since I was a kid. I spent my entire life with unrequited crushes and embarrassing attempts to ask out girls. Failed dates, too. Finally started working on myself late last year, gym work, well-fitting clothes, and what not. Doesn't change who I've been, man. Combined with being bullied a lot during middle school (formative years) I developed low self-esteem issues and body issues. I went to therapy to deal with these issues, but failed to address the relationship ones because I was abstaining from interacting with girls until I felt better about myself and so that topic never came up. That, down to the root, is probably, no IS the reason this happened.

I grew up the same way in the same kind of house. If you're not confident in what you're saying or what you're doing, it's OK to move a little slower. In some other world, your fool around tactic worked. In most of them it did not. You should have just asked her out to dinner or something. Most girls (people) don't want to just be treated like a plaything to fool around with when convenient, unless you're both on the same page, and that would be obvious.

 

[SoldierOfLight]

How about three minutes? lol

Should've offered her $40 while you were at it.

This, unless she's an escort, you don't come with that right off that bat. You don't ask at all, just let it happen naturally when it gets to that point.

Don't worry GAF coaches are here to guide you, just keep working out and take note on good looking, well dressed guys and try to change your attire.

You'll be at the level where you don't have to make the girl laugh and just straight up walk to strangers and use the line '3 minutes to finger you?" And they'll give you 30 minutes.

 

[Secret Fawful]

I need to stop trying to rationalize the moment. I honestly don't know how to practice this stuff. Talking about girls and relationships were frowned upon in my house since I was a kid. I spent my entire life with unrequited crushes and embarrassing attempts to ask out girls. Failed dates, too. Finally started working on myself late last year, gym work, well-fitting clothes, and what not. Doesn't change who I've been, man. Combined with being bullied a lot during middle school (formative years) I developed low self-esteem issues and body issues. I went to therapy to deal with these issues, but failed to address the relationship ones because I was abstaining from interacting with girls until I felt better about myself and so that topic never came up. That, down to the root, is probably, no IS the reason this happened.

I get what you're saying, but what matters is who you choose to be. You need to be honest with women about what you want, and I don't mean a three-minute fingerblast in a parking lot. If you're interested in someone, talk to them like an adult, with respect. Worrying about your $20 and approaching them like you're playing X-Com to ask to do whatever your version of fooling around is isn't respectful and it isn't acting like an adult.

Next time, just tell the person you're interested. That's all. Be straightforward. No more weird shit. Please. Then if you strike out, you strike out, but you handled it like an adult, and you move on.

And no more of this desperate "three minutes" shit.

 

[kiguel182]

Girls are, believe it or not, just people like you!

If you are interested in someone just ask them out and then engage them normally. It's not hard.

Fear of rejection sucks but well, it's part of life I guess.

Don't ask near strangers to fool around in their car before classes. I guess that's a piece of advice I feel good about giving.

Edit: also, human interactions aren't Xcom. I guess that goes without saying but maybe not.

Edit2: Also, most people had embarrassing moments with people they were interested in. Don't sweat it, just learn from it.

 

[Jimnymebob]

Fooling around was me thinking we could make out or me finger her or whatever, but I digress...

Oh, I baked you some cookies, so maybe we could try some or maybe anal or whatever, but I digress...

 

[ch4fx_]

I was thinking that if I did this, I wouldn't be putting anything on the line unlike a date where I would drive there and pay for a meal and what not for a higher possible chance at fingerbanging but more resources spent, compared to no resources spent with a higher percentage of failing

I like you OP, good luck. Keep your head up.

 

[Greddleok]

You gotta stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.

 

[TheSeks]

I need to stop trying to rationalize the moment. I honestly don't know how to practice this stuff. Talking about girls and relationships were frowned upon in my house since I was a kid. I spent my entire life with unrequited crushes and embarrassing attempts to ask out girls. Failed dates, too. Finally started working on myself late last year, gym work, well-fitting clothes, and what not. Doesn't change who I've been, man. Combined with being bullied a lot during middle school (formative years) I developed low self-esteem issues and body issues. I went to therapy to deal with these issues, but failed to address the relationship ones because I was abstaining from interacting with girls until I felt better about myself and so that topic never came up. That, down to the root, is probably, no IS the reason this happened.

*eyeroll so hard eyes fall out of head* You screwed up, OP. It's not your social anxiety or depression messing with you. It's your 0-60 stomping on the pedal that screwed you up. Sometimes women like the direct approach (NOT ALL OF THEM, SOME) but asking a girl that you were studying with "hey, do you want me to finger you?" isn't the way to go.

"But I don't want to date her because I'm out of cash from the date and--"

Then you shouldn't be dating, flat out.

 

[Forearm Star]

Oh, I baked you some cookies, so maybe we could try some or maybe anal or whatever, but I digress...

Lol
Amazing thread

 

[Marky Mark]

If you wanted to do something you should have asked her out rather than finger fuck her in a car for 3 minutes from the get-go

I didn't read this thread until just now and in the first few replies I'm already spitting milk.

 

[Slayven]

Saddest thread I read in a long time.

 

[Ray Wonder]

I'm about to ask the secretary if I can watch her take a dump

 

[imBask]

I'm about to ask the secretary if I can watch her take a dump

Nothing crazy

 

[notaskwid]

I think you should stop thinking about women as a ride you insert jokes and coins until you can ride it, OP.

 

[outunderthestars]

*eyeroll so hard eyes fall out of head* You screwed up, OP. It's not your social anxiety or depression messing with you. It's your 0-60 stomping on the pedal that screwed you up. Sometimes women like the direct approach (NOT ALL OF THEM, SOME) but asking a girl that you were studying with "hey, do you want me to finger you?" isn't the way to go.

"But I don't want to date her because I'm out of cash from the date and--"

Then you shouldn't be dating, flat out.

This is the best advice in the thread.

 

[PixelatedBookake]

*eyeroll so hard eyes fall out of head* You screwed up, OP. It's not your social anxiety or depression messing with you. It's your 0-60 stomping on the pedal that screwed you up. Sometimes women like the direct approach (NOT ALL OF THEM, SOME) but asking a girl that you were studying with "hey, do you want me to finger you?" isn't the way to go.

"But I don't want to date her because I'm out of cash from the date and--"

Then you shouldn't be dating, flat out.

Bruh, I'm trying to get to the root of the problem and improve. I've heard what you've been saying for the past 7 pages and I'm reflecting on myself to prevent it from happening again.

 

[Marky Mark]

Next time open with "Is your name Freddy? Because you're about to get fingered."

 

[Red Liquorice]

I was thinking that if I did this, I wouldn't be putting anything on the line unlike a date where I would drive there and pay for a meal and what not for a higher possible chance at fingerbanging but more resources spent, compared to no resources spent with a higher percentage of failing

You're talking about human relationships like it's some formula. I pay X amount and in return there is X% chance of getting X minutes of fingering. Like the date is the piece of cheese on a mousetrap for the girl.

Just chill out, won't the date be fun for you too? Your goal on a date is to have fun with the person and get to know them better not endure it as a necessary transaction expense. If you don't want to deal with people use prostitutes or no-strings hook up apps or something.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Nothing crazy

I make her giggle every couple mornings when I come into work. What've I got to lose?

 

[Jimnymebob]

I make her giggle every couple mornings when I come into work. What've I got to lose?

$20?

 

[Ray Wonder]

$20?

Nah, I could take her to the bar and ask her there and increase my chances of watching her shit, but I think I'm just gonna ask when I drop off my time sheet. Even if I can stay for just half the dump. I'll be fine.

 

[The Interrobanger]

Seriously, who uses the phrase "fooling around"? I put it in the same category of awkwardness as "going steady".

Protip OP, next time either ask her on a date and let things happen naturally, or ask at least ask her if she wants to "make out" and play it by ear from there.

 

[Izuna]

OP

In a parallel world, you didn't make out but you did finger her for 3 minutes.

Then what?

You gotta stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.

It likes to look up*

 

[Fury451]

OP you won me over by comparing an offer to finger someone in a car for 3 minutes to XCOM.

 

[Suburban Thug]

Bruh, I'm trying to get to the root of the problem and improve. I've heard what you've been saying for the past 7 pages and I'm reflecting on myself to prevent it from happening again.

You should hang out with women in a non threatening environment so you can learn how to speak to them like a normal person. Have any friends that are dating? Hang out with them and talk to her. Join clubs or look for activities in your city that are good places to meet women such as wine tasting, running groups, books clubs, bar crawls, recreational sports, volunteer work, etc.

Once you have enough experience points you can graduate to tinder or cold approaches but be prepared for rejection unless you look like a model. I've been told I am reasonably attractive (can get 10+ tinder matches a day easy selectively swiping) but still get brushed off from time to time. That's just life so don't blame your upbringing or whatever.

 

[Ray Wonder]

OP

In a parallel world, you didn't make out but you did finger her for 3 minutes.

Then what?

I donated to water.org and I ain't get shit

 

[creatchee]

I donated to water.org and I ain't get shit

Think of the tax deduction tho.

 

[ColdPizza]

Wow, OP...

 

[JoeNut]

I think just ask her to call you your gaf username from now on in IRL and soon she'll be swooning over you man.

that 3 minutes line had me LOL'ing at work

 

[PixelatedBookake]

You should hang out with women in a non threatening environment so you can learn how to speak to them like a normal person. Have any friends that are dating? Hang out with them and talk to her. Join clubs or look for activities in your city that are good places to meet women such as wine tasting, running groups, books clubs, bar crawls, recreational sports, volunteer work, etc.

Once you have enough experience points you can graduate to tinder or cold approaches but be prepared for rejection unless you look like a model. I've been told I am reasonably attractive (can get 10+ tinder matches a day easy selectively swiping) but still get brushed off from time to time. That's just life so don't blame your upbringing or whatever.

I'd say most of my friends are women actually. I'm not awkward/creepy when I talk to women regularly. I've joined clubs and organizations, met girls, asked them out and whatnot. It's mostly sexual stuff I don't really get. Tinder never worked for me, (never got matches), so meeting people face to face is how I usually interact with girls. It only becomes awkward when I approach situations in the wrong way.

 

[Clockwork]

I am more concerned about the dehumanization of said girl into some object/plaything to be used at the OP's will. I mean all sensible concepts of human interaction were thrown out the window with this one for the specific goal of the OP having an experimental fucktoy for all of 3 minutes.

This goes beyond any level of being socially awkward/romantically inept and heads closer to sociopath/serial killer territory.

 

[Northeastmonk]

You have to be friends with her first. Don't expect a single thing. You can pursue her, but leave the sex/fooling around stuff out of the conversation.

There are places to "hook up", but the golden rule is to become friends. Sex and even fooling around are about trust than simple attraction.

Trust is way more important. Going at it like, "let's do this" is going too far. She might need to know you like her more than just a sex object.