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Guys at my girlsfriends workplace hitting on her

ethanny2

Member
Are you 100% sure she didn't make that up just to make you feel what she is feeling about that friend of yours? Jealousy can bring out some nasty features in a person. 10+ people hitting on her at work sounds a tad shady to me. Or she is a super model.

LOL at the above not a humble brag, im legit shook like I dated girls who have been hit on before but this shit is ridiculous. I kinda believe her too because one day she ordered chinese food on the phone and the delivery guy started hitting on her (i didnt see it). The delivery even used the number she gave to the resturant (FOR DELIVERY PURPOSES) to text her 20 mins after the delivery was over. WTF man im going mental here
 

commedieu

Banned
Yeah Im def gonna ask her to block those numbers, but then work would be akward for her and maybe there's the possiblity they would bother her more at the workplace. I know she should tell HR again, but is it really wrong for me to go over and say something to these dudes? (If im not threatening them or doing anything wrong etc...)

That's going to be a long day.

Best buy has a regional manager. I'd go up the flag pole with the harassment reports.
 
There are so many replies about her taking a stand at work as if she's being bombarded and groped non-stop, when in reality it's likely the typical young people in retail experience. Dudes are gonna flirt with girls and vice versa, most don't care if you have a bf or not.

Anyhoo, the op's issue is one of trust, not 'please convince me to convince my gf to get these guys fired'. This is life op, unless you want to get weird and work with her so you can keep an eye out 24/7
She reported it to HR already once, so I take it this is beyond the normal flirting from time to time and going into intimidating behavior.
 
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Shanlei91

Sonic handles my blue balls
She also tells them shes in a relationship with me, but it doesn't stop them from hitting on her. Because she sees the majority of the guys in her workplace trying to cheat on their partner she assumes all guys are like that thus she doesn't trust me.

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She might be exaggerating to make you feel jealous. Even if the rampant attempts are true, there's nothing you can do in the realm of normal behavior other than shrug it off and trust that nothing escalates. She should continue to report them.

Humblebrag, my girlfriend is so hot literally everyone is hitting on her!

Eh, the story is more about the insecurities of people than anything else.


This might be my favorite joke on the internet.
 
LOL at the above not a humble brag, im legit shook like I dated girls who have been hit on before but this shit is ridiculous. I kinda believe her too because one day she ordered chinese food on the phone and the delivery guy started hitting on her (i didnt see it). The delivery even used the number she gave to the resturant (FOR DELIVERY PURPOSES) to text her 20 mins after the delivery was over. WTF man im going mental here

You didn't see it?? You sure she didn't give the dude her number instead? I have a feeling you're getting played and too naive to admit it.
 

flkraven

Member
She also tells them shes in a relationship with me, but it doesn't stop them from hitting on her. Because she sees the majority of the guys in her workplace trying to cheat on their partner she assumes all guys are like that thus she doesn't trust me. And im pissed off that these guys in a relationship are borderline sexually abusing my girlfriend and not leaving her alone. I don't want to get her in trouble and go to where she works and make a scene telling these guys to fuck off and stay away from my girlfriend (or god forbid fight someone, like am i really going to fight 10 best buy employees) but I don't know what to do at this point. Thoughts gaf?

Question one, how did every guy at best buy get her phone number?

Two, going to need a citation for the bolded. I thought they were just shooting her a text with a joke or asking her to hang out? What is this sexual abuse stuff?
 
My god, some people just refuse to see reality and make situations so much more complicated than they need to be.

I'm so glad to avoid all aspects of drama in my "boring" life. Glad I never have to worry about shit like this.
 

Goro Majima

Kitty Genovese Member
I feel like there's some red flags popping up.

Working at Best Buy to save up for school again yet she's dropping cash for cabs, she has trust issues yet has a bunch of these guys numbers in her phone (or gave her number out to a ton of guys), she seemingly hasn't reported this harassment to HR a second time....

I dunno, something feels off here

Yeah I'm kinda confused by all this. These guys are harassing her but she gave her number out? It's also weird to me that literally half the staff at one Best Buy is hitting on her to the point that they're asking her out. If they're just flirting, that's kinda harmless at that age range (I'm assuming y'all are late teens or early 20s?)

My general life advice is to try and not get too stressed about these relationships during this phase of your life.
 

Grizzlyjin

Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
If you confront them at work, you'll make things worse. It's not your domain, it would be insanely easy for someone to spin that into you being the crazy boyfriend. I'm a huge believer in being direct, but in this instance you're just giving them ammo.

Your relationship isn't going to last if you don't address the trust issues. If your girlfriend is judging you based off guys from her retail job that she met AFTER you started dating, something ain't right. She needs to stay on HR, y'all both need to talk about the trust thing.
 
Damn so both of ya'll have jealousy issues. Daaaaaamn.

She should just keep rejecting them, or play the game by talking to them only about you (good things only, no drama). That's a huge turnoff.
 

Sakura

Member
Yeah I'm kinda confused by all this. These guys are harassing her but she gave her number out? It's also weird to me that literally half the staff at one Best Buy is hitting on her to the point that they're asking her out. If they're just flirting, that's kinda harmless at that age range (I'm assuming y'all are late teens or early 20s?)

My general life advice is to try and not get too stressed about these relationships during this phase of your life.

And don't forget most of those guys also happen to be in a relationship already to boot.
 

Two Words

Member
Because the reasonable thing to do is to embroil yourself into other people's married lives/drama over a 2 month relationship.

While I may not feel the need to do this, I never really like this argument. People tend to have this "mind your own business" attitude about other people's relationships. But let's say don't know person X and Y, but I know that X is cheating on Y (I'm counting failing at picking up other women as cheating). If I am able to easily do so, I would tell Y that X is cheating on Y. Why not? I'd rather Y know than not know and it is perfectly within my own ability to tell Y what I know. It's not like I obtained that information in confidence.
 
Sounds like your getting played bud. I'd get the fuck outta there asap. How the fuck do all these dudes have her number?

She has all these dudes numbers and that's supposed to be cool, but you can't even talk to your housemates without her freaking out?
 

ZOONAMI

Junior Member
Girls get hit on constantly, op just finding that out now.

Seems like she might go along with it instead of shutting it down though.
 
Can't she block the numbers? Once she stops feeding into it, they'll leave her alone. Also, might have been mentioned but can you drive her to work? Does she have a car?
 

Kumquat

Member
Am I missing something? Like why did she even give these guys her number if she has no intention of going out with them? They shouldn't even have the capability to blow up her phone like that.
 

Sai-kun

Banned
if they got her number without her explicitly giving it to them, then that's really fucked up and she needs to take that wayyyyy up the line with HR. That's really messed up, no matter the person's gender.
 
While I may not feel the need to do this, I never really like this argument. People tend to have this "mind your own business" attitude about other people's relationships. But let's say don't know person X and Y, but I know that X is cheating on Y. If I am able to easily do so, I would tell Y that X is cheating on Y. Why not? I'd rather Y know than not know and it is perfectly within my own ability to tell Y what I know. It's not like I obtained that information in confidence.

It's not about minding your own business, it's about saving myself the drama/headaches of getting involved in other people's business. Not worth it, especially if I have nothing invested in their lives (they aren't friends/family).
 

commedieu

Banned
Because the reasonable thing to do is to embroil yourself into other people's married lives/drama over a 2 month relationship.

Come on. You were young once.. the age filter needs to be applied here. Most importantly, all advice will be ignored..and someone will find a world star video of a dude getting worked @ a best buy in the next few days.

Initial op. Laden with red flags. All following posts... more red flags. If it's bad, authorities and best buy need to be involved. But there's so many questions with the lack of detail here. 10 numbers on a phone..and Chinese food delivery guy.. I mean...
 
If you confront them at work, you'll make things worse. It's not your domain, it would be insanely easy for someone to spin that into you being the crazy boyfriend. I'm a huge believer in being direct, but in this instance you're just giving them ammo.

Your relationship isn't going to last if you don't address the trust issues. If your girlfriend is judging you based off guys from her retail job that she met AFTER you started dating, something ain't right. She needs to stay on HR, y'all both need to talk about the trust thing.

HR won't do squat. Girl has only been there less than 2 months. They'll find some excuse to let her go and move on. I personally don't think she got HR involved to begin with. I honestly feel the girl just said that to shut OP up for a few days, weeks whatever. OP is failing to see the obvious here. Hope she's worth it OP... Things don't look good for you man..
 
If your girlfriend is judging you based off guys from her retail job that she met AFTER you started dating, something ain't right.

You've got that wrong, she's been working there 3 months BEFORE she met OP. So 5 months, and yet he's only hearing about it now. Coincidentally after the girlfriend got jealous about his female housemate.
 
Can't she block the numbers? Once she stops feeding into it, they'll leave her alone. Also, might have been mentioned but can you drive her to work? Does she have a car?

If she hasn't blocked the numbers already herself, she doesn't want to. She shouldn't have to be encouraged or forced to do it by her boyfriend. That's problematic on multiple levels. So the fact that she hasn't done it means she wants the attention and wants to keep her options open. Yet another reason OP should just drop her and find a stress- and drama-free relationship.
 

Reckheim

Member
Its not only that... we both have had similar fucked up pasts and it was really nice to find someone (never found someone in a similar situation to me) to talk to about that stuff



Yeah she does have trust issues, shes explicity said she doesn't trust men because these sorts of fucked up things have been happening to her all her life

How about you? Do you have trust issues?
 

Pepboy

Member
Yeah Im def gonna ask her to block those numbers, but then work would be akward for her and maybe there's the possiblity they would bother her more at the workplace. I know she should tell HR again, but is it really wrong for me to go over and say something to these dudes? (If im not threatening them or doing anything wrong etc...)

In my opinion, yeah that would be wrong of you.

Three possible cases:

1. She would prefer to take care of it herself and is faithful -- getting involved is a mistake.

2. She would prefer to take care of itself because she's actually cheating or wants to cheat -- the sooner you find this out, the better, but actually going to Best Buy and confronting seems a bit much. Just move on unless you're into non-exclusive relationships (though even that would / should be a conversation).

3. She is actually looking for you to "stand up" to show you "care" -- this also demonstrates that she's not really ready for a healthy relationship. Trust issues aren't like a simple disagreement "Oh I love avocado but she Hates it". They can seriously impair a healthy relationship. If she's looking for this sort of response from you, you are enabling her by going down and talking to them. I get different cultures look at this differently, but you'll be better off in the long run by addressing the root insecurity than by being the big bad wolf.

Other notes:

A. Regarding her being unfaithful, just keep your eyes and ears open. Eventually something won't add up (she keeps taking rides on days that aren't rainy / you saw her work schedule and it's different from what she told you / she's suddenly very distant from you and ignoring texts, etc.) and then you can dig deeper if needed.

B. I'm surprised she's actually taking cabs to work at Best Buy. How close does she live? Because a cab can be like $10 easily, which is probably like an hour's work?

C. Have more value in yourself. You're a hard working guy who is faithful. If she leaves you for a cheating married / girlfriend guy, you're just freeing up your life for new encounters.

D. Remember, at the end of the day, you were happy alone. You seemed capable of talking to people of the opposite sex and are focusing on studies -- you probably can find other people.
 

commedieu

Banned
OP...

Why she giving her number to the same guys she complaining about?

Think about it.

She very well could be beautiful. Most women are harassed on a daily. But if it's bothering her so much, she's gotta not be so liberal with the friends to bed type dudes, that,.well, most of us are/were at that age..
 

Sakura

Member
I feel like
a) She's exaggerating or just straight up lying. Maybe to make you feel jealous or something I don't know.
Or
b) You're getting played

I have a hard time believing that in just a few months of working at Best Buy half the male staff, most of which are in relationships, have her number, are giving her rides to work, and just can't stop themselves from hitting on your girlfriend. Even going to HR didn't stop them too long.
Like, have you actually seen all these texts from all these dudes? I have a hard time buying it.
 
"Borderline sexually abused" is factually incorrect. Repeated unwanted sexual advances in the workplace are harassment, and the HR department has to take corrective action against the offending parties. If she meets with them multiple times, documents it, and they do nothing, they are potentially liable. All you can really tell her to do is go to HR every time it happens. I'd recommend also going to a manager, but if he's part of the group doing the propositioning, it may not help.

Your gf isn't jealous of you because of her coworkers, she's jealous because you're kids and you've never had to trust anyone in a real sense before. If you're both attractive young people, you can either become shut-ins who never interact with other people, or you're going to have to deal with a reality where people have friends of the opposite sex, and randoms will approach and proposition your significant other.

All you can do is not put yourself in situations where you're likely to cheat (ie, don't do a Netflix and chill session with the girl next door), and if she can't deal with you being casual friends with other girls, she's not ready for a serious relationship yet.

Edit: I didn't realize that everyone had her phone number. Fucking what?
 

flkraven

Member
-OP thinks everyone at school and in town sucks. Also, he's Rudy

-OP meets GF

-OP + GF have been in a relationship for like a minute

-GF is super jealous, insecure, needy - basically tells OP he shouldn't talk to girls and have friends.

-Likewise, GF is always talking about how she gets hit on from everyone. Any male with a pulse and a phone sends her texts seconds after they meet. Ignore the hows (how they got the number) and the whys (why does literally every male do this), and instead just know she is a magnet for male attention.

That's basically the story. Without knowing more, GF sounds like the classic insecure person looking from attention everywhere. She probably enjoys/encourages texts from others. Likewise, this type of personality leads to controlling jealously when she feels like boy's attention is on a different girl. OP is just head over heels and can't see straight.

other signs:
-Does your GF have a lot of friends that are girls? Or does she typically hang out with dudes?
-Does she have plenty of stories about daily drama, but simultaneously say how she "hates drama"?
-Does she have a bunch of Disney Princess stuff?
 
You've got that wrong, she's been working there 3 months BEFORE she met OP. So 5 months, and yet he's only hearing about it now. Coincidentally after the girlfriend got jealous about his female housemate.

I mean, more red flags than China.

OP doesn't have enough self-awareness to realize that no ideal, healthy partner would be trying to restrict his access to a purely platonic friend. The work issues, while sad and inappropriate, are hers to handle. His only role is to support and encourage her, really. Not show up and "save" her.

I've said this before, when counseling clients...

It's not sexual harassment if they like it.
 

commedieu

Banned
I mean, more red flags than China.

OP doesn't have enough self-awareness to realize that no ideal, healthy partner would be trying to restrict his access to a purely platonic friend. The work issues, while sad and inappropriate, are hers to handle. His only role is to support and encourage her, really. Not show up and "save" her.

I've said this before, when counseling clients...

It's not sexual harassment if they like it.

A literal Chinese food delivery guy texted her after the delivery too.
 

Koppai

Member
Best Buy has an open and honest hotline for matters like this. But you need to talk to her about it before you do anything.
 
She very well could be beautiful. Most women are harassed on a daily. But if it's bothering her so much, she's gotta not be so liberal with the friends to bed type dudes, that,.well, most of us are/were at that age..

It just seems like she's giving OP something to be jealous about, which is a bad sign all around.
 
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