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Guys at my girlsfriends workplace hitting on her

She's going to entertain at least one of them. Bail out OP

They have her number, she already is entertaining the fuckery. She's only a few "trying to make OP jealous" texts away from "OP, I'm so sorry I'm sleeping with this guy from work"....

Happily married thanks, been a long road of experiences though.

How about you?

http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=236039218

Fucking savage 😂😂😂💀
A+!!
 
I'm sorry for your situation, OP. Before you confront anyone at Best Buy, find out what department they work. You might be able to take on a few if they're in cell phones or home theater, but those appliance and car audio dudes can be pretty beefy.
 
Welcome to reality. Every girl you've ever been in a relationship with gets hit on 500 times a day. If you don't trust her stop seeing her. Deal with it and grow some kind of backbone.
 

Pepboy

Member
ughh this shit is hard man, I feel like it might be the 3rd option but how do i know for sure

Well one thing you can do is ask her. If you want a healthy relationship, communication and trust are key elements. It sounds like trust is already a bit strained (but that's kind of okay, you're still getting to know each other). So if you also have communication issues, then I wouldn't expect this relationship to last particularly long. But honestly, if she's the kind of person who wants you to "front" for her... do you want to be with that type of person? I guess it's personal preference, but I wouldn't want to have to deal with that stuff. What I would ask is:

"Are these guys bothering you?" followed by "Would you like for me to talk to them?" If she says yes that's already kind of a red flag, but you could then say "Okay so let's brainstorm the objective here and just double check if this is the best way to achieve that objective."

In contrast to most of the other comments above, I can kind of get her response to the guys so far. She's reported it to HR, but the guys are still skirting the edge of respectability. No one wants to be hated by their co-workers, and these are people she has to pass a lot of time with. It's not fair, but if she outright goes nuclear on them, she might have to suffer a lot of micro-aggressions or passive-aggressive bullshit, none of which are individually bad enough for HR to take action. Especially if the workforce is mostly male. Plus she might lose out on free rides.

So instead she has to keep "friendly" even though she might have no desire to actually be friends. The guys know this and will play in that quasi-flirty zone. If this is the situation, you getting involved only makes things worse. Now they know you're insecure and can use that to their advantage, try goading you into doing something stupid or adding strain to the relationship. Once they add enough strain to the relationship, maybe she'll dump you or want to cheat, or whatever. I'm not saying this is what would happen, but rather trying to guess at how they might think.

The biggest risk is not "Oh no these guys are texting her and bothering her but eventually wear her down" because those guys are almost certainly annoying. The risk is that there is someone she enjoys talking to at work and enjoys texting with, etc. Going down to HR / going down to confront them does nothing to help with that. Even asking her to stop texting guys is not going to help with that.

The best way to address that risk is to make time with her, get to know her, see if you're actually compatible, communicate, etc. If she dumps you after 3 months because she's bored, then you are much better off / you two just weren't a good fit.
 

KoopaTheCasual

Junior Member
So if you start dating someone, and start connecting with them, would you just abandon them in the middle of a potential sexual harassment shit sandwich, on the off-chance that she's somehow fucking with you, or just because you don't want to deal with it?
Off-chance?

How are all these dudes getting her number?

Why is she taking free rides from these people?

It doesn't make sense.

NO, this is not victim blaming. Full Stop. This story makes very little sense. And OP has to fork over more details that will either make him look shittier or make the situation more believable.
 

Kumquat

Member
ITT: "the bitch is lying or cheating!!!"

What is wrong with you guys?

Most are saying she is insecure and is entertaining the thirsty texts. Not that she is actually cheating yet.

10+ people don't get her phone number without her being a consenting party to it.
 
ITT: "the bitch is lying or cheating!!!"

What is wrong with you guys?

Read:

Off-chance?

How are all these dudes getting her number?

Why is she taking free rides from these people?

It doesn't make sense.

NO, this is not victim blaming. Full Stop. This story makes very little sense. And OP has to fork over more details that will either make him look shittier or make the situation more believable.
 
Off-chance?

How are all these dudes getting her number?

Why is she taking free rides from these people?

It doesn't make sense.

NO, this is not victim blaming. Full Stop. This story makes very little sense. And OP has to fork over more details that will either make him look shittier or make the situation more believable.

Giving out phone numbers to co-workers is really not very strange at all. Especially if they have offered to pick you up in the morning.

She probably shouldn't accept rides from some of these guys after they have been sexually harassing her though.

Have you considered the fact that the more likely scenario here is that she is making it or, at the very least, there is much more information required?

I made a post where I laid out the different scenarios and explained how the rational option in all of them would have been to keep your calm and stay supportive
 
Youre incredibly naive if you think she's not giving out her number.

I'd lean towards this as well, for one thing people don't go handing out other people's phone numbers. Also, a guy would ask her directly for her number, not some random other person.

I'm not saying this is the case, but it's also possible she's projecting when she talks about "the guys at work" cheating and is worried about people you're in close proximity with.

Either way, you two need to have a long talk, and if you can't get things settled in a way that makes both of you happy then I'd consider bailing. Things won't turn out well if one or both of you are having trust issues.
 
Quit several places due to being hit on...10 guys hitting on her at the same time at her current employer...now I agree men are scum but something really weird seems to be going on
 
Most are saying she is insecure and is entertaining the thirsty texts. Not that she is actually cheating yet.

10+ people don't get her phone number without her being a consenting party to it.


Newsflash: if you don't have a car and you need to get to work, you're probably going to have to do some things you don't like to get it done, especially if you don't have public transportation available to you

And it's almost like if you're getting a ride from someone...you give them your number so you can work out getting picked up. Sounds crazy, I know.
 

KoopaTheCasual

Junior Member
Giving out phone numbers to co-workers is really not very strange at all. Especially if they have offered to pick you up in the morning.

She probably shouldn't accept rides from some of these guys after they have been sexually harassing her though.



I made a post where I laid out the different scenarios and explained how the rational option in all of them would have been to keep your calm and stay supportive

I just want/expect OP to come back with an "Well... actually" type post, because my brain is in does not compute mode.

I think most of the thread is like that, hence why people are pretty dismissive of this situation. It's weirdly granular in certain aspects, and then devoid of context/details context in others.
 

Tagyhag

Member
OP at the end of the day you should do what every one of these threads boils down to and talk to her about it.

Unless you're withholding information from us we're really not getting the full picture here.

But it's also a 2 month long relationship, that's like a bathroom break in the road trip of life.
 
Newsflash: if you don't have a car and you need to get to work, you're probably going to have to do some things you don't like to get it done, especially if you don't have public transportation available to you

And it's almost like if you're getting a ride from someone...you give them your number so you can work out getting picked up. Sounds crazy, I know.

But you don't get rides from the same people harassing you.

See...this is where OP needs to provide clarity. He says a lot of the guys are hitting on her. And she's giving out her number to a lot of guys. That's a problem. No matter how much you want to side with Her...you should be able to see the problem she's creating for OP.
 

ethanny2

Member
Quit several places due to being hit on...10 guys hitting on her at the same time at her current employer...now I agree men are scum but something really weird seems to be going on

Honestly right now i think it may be about 6 or 7 guys tops (not sure if if makes it any better) but it seems like theres a new guy bothering her everyday. And the guys she gets rides from are all the guys that Dont hit on her and just want to be a good coworker. Except for this one guy that drove her 3 days ago. she said she told him that she was in a relationship and the coworker looked visibly sad. Also she moved to a new department at best buy recently so she been exposed to other guys too. And one of the guys who works in the warehouse (her new dept) explicitly switched his schedule from the afternoon to like 6 am when she works just to see her. She said that another coworker told her that this dude who switched schedules actually does like her. But then this other coworker offered to take her home even though he got off 3 earlier than her. Man fuck these dudes

Also she didn't quit the other jobs for dudes texting her, she quit because this college town is full of ignorant people who say racist stuff to her and she got fed up with and in all honesty I think the reason she is getting so much attention is because she doesn't look like everyone around this area (shes chilean) (and the people working at the best buy are locals at this town not college kids)
 

Pepboy

Member
HR won't do squat. Girl has only been there less than 2 months. They'll find some excuse to let her go and move on. I personally don't think she got HR involved to begin with. I honestly feel the girl just said that to shut OP up for a few days, weeks whatever. OP is failing to see the obvious here. Hope she's worth it OP... Things don't look good for you man..

Yeah I agree with the first part -- sadly unless they have an outstanding manager, these types of jobs are often more concerned with:

1. Does this person show up on time and consistent with shifts, not hung over or high.
2. Is this person actually working the floor / selling whatever / helping store numbers.

Sadly sexual harassment, especially of the "he texts me too much" type, is going to be way down on the list. If they started groping her or being outright lewd, they might take action but short of that, I'd be surprised if HR even got involved. Especially if like 90% of the coworkers are harassing her.

But I disagree somewhat with the second part -- it's unclear if this is a sort of "I need to put up with it but I truly hate this part of the job" or "I actually like this attention and not concerned with the drama it brings". But it is definitely concerning if she straight up lied about going to HR.
 
Off-chance?

How are all these dudes getting her number?

Why is she taking free rides from these people?

It doesn't make sense.

NO, this is not victim blaming. Full Stop. This story makes very little sense. And OP has to fork over more details that will either make him look shittier or make the situation more believable.

She may be weak willed or anti-confrontational. There's all kinds of possibilities not limited to bad character though.

But yeah best buy isn't a good combination, it's young male central.
 
But you don't get rides from the same people harassing you.

See...this is where OZp needs to provide clarity. He says a lot of the guys are hitting on her. And she's giving out her number to a lot of guys. That's a problem. No matter how much you want to side with Her...you should be able to see the problem she's creating for OP.

Yeah, I get that there's an issue there, I just think that it's jumping to a conclusion to just be all like "oh she's definitely cheating on you." I've been in situations like this before, I've had a girlfriend have similar kind of experiences. A lot of women have to put up with a lot of shit, including working with or even getting rides or whatever from people that can be pretty shitty to them.

It doesn't sound like a cheating thing to me as much as it might be a "I actually enjoy the drama/confrontation on some level", which is more of what I got from OP, given some of the other information in there.
 

Van Bur3n

Member
You must go to her workplace and defend her honor. Prove you're the alpha male to the pack and the betas will scram. I saw it once on Animal Planet, works every time.
 

cwmartin

Member
Honestly right now i think it may be about 6 or 7 guys tops (not sure if if makes it any better) but it seems like theres a new guy bothering her everyday. And the guys she gets rides from are all the guys that Dont hit on her and just want to be a good coworker. Except for this one guy that drove her 3 days ago. she said she told him that she was in a relationship and the coworker looked visibly sad. Also she moved to a new department at best buy recently so she been exposed to other guys too. And one of the guys who works in the warehouse (her new dept) explicitly switched his schedule from the afternoon to like 6 am when she works just to see her. She said that another coworker told her that this dude who switched schedules actually does like her. But then this other coworker offered to take her home even though he got off 3 earlier than her. Man fuck these dudes

You aren't ready for the complexities your relationship is providing to you. And that's OK.
 

Goliath

Member
Honestly right now i think it may be about 6 or 7 guys tops (not sure if if makes it any better) but it seems like theres a new guy bothering her everyday. And the guys she gets rides from are all the guys that Dont hit on her and just want to be a good coworker. Except for this one guy that drove her 3 days ago. she said she told him that she was in a relationship and the coworker looked visibly sad. Also she moved to a new department at best buy recently so she been exposed to other guys too. And one of the guys who works in the warehouse (her new dept) explicitly switched his schedule from the afternoon to like 6 am when she works just to see her. She said that another coworker told her that this dude who switched schedules actually does like her. But then this other coworker offered to take her home even though he got off 3 earlier than her. Man fuck these dudes

Dude, your girl needs to change her work environment. This Best Buy can't be the only and best way for her to make money for college. Maybe you should be helping her apply to other places where she doesn't have to rely on people for rides.
 
10 guys at work having her number is a lot (especially at best buy), even if she is the type of person who is "too nice" to say no. At most you have like 6-8 people in the same "department", but let's be real, there's gonna be at least 1-3 people you just won't click with enough to hang out after work or give your personal number out. I worked at a small best buy where there was MAYBE 50 employees, a lot were part-time/seasonal so on most weeks 3-6 people were scheduled throughout the week (per department). I guess what I'm trying to say is that, that's a lot of people to give out your number to at work, considering the fact that these guys are already have an SO and their interest goes beyond being friends.

Good luck with you OP, I don't have any actual advice, if you're girlfriend is being honest and telling the truth, she needs to find a way to tell these guys to fuck off. If your girlfriend is the kind that is "too nice" to tell them anything, inevitably this will end with some kind of work drama. I'm 100% sure of this. Girls who are "too nice" end up accidentally stringing guys along ("damn man, this girl really likes me, she keeps talking to me and laughing at all my jokes"), they'll claim they hate drama but the drama is never far behind.
 
Dude, your girl needs to change her work environment. This Best Buy can't be the only and best way for her to make money for college. Maybe you should be helping her apply to other places where she doesn't have to rely on people for rides.
Kind of sad the girl needs to change her work because thirsty dudes can't behave in a normal way.
 

flkraven

Member
Honestly right now i think it may be about 6 or 7 guys tops (not sure if if makes it any better) but it seems like theres a new guy bothering her everyday. And the guys she gets rides from are all the guys that Dont hit on her and just want to be a good coworker...

So we can rule out the "they have her phone number for rides". The guys she gets rides with are actually the good guys in this story.


Except for this one guy that drove her 3 days ago. she said she told him that she was in a relationship and the coworker looked visibly sad.

Did she explain what this even means? This seems like a 'nothing' story, delivered solely with the intent to make you jealous. It's like, non news. If I told a random person from work 'I have a GF' and that person looked sad, it wouldn't become 'story' material later.

Also she moved to a new department at best buy recently so she been exposed to other guys too.

Is it customary to exchange cell phone numbers with all the dudes in a new department?

. And one of the guys who works in the warehouse (her new dept) explicitly switched his schedule from the afternoon to like 6 am when she works just to see her. She said that another coworker told her that this dude who switched schedules actually does like her. But then this other coworker offered to take her home even though he got off 3 earlier than her. Man fuck these dudes

Hmmmmm....
 

Rktk

Member
Girls who are "too nice" end up accidentally stringing guys along ("damn man, this girl really likes me, she keeps talking to me and laughing at all my jokes"), they'll claim they hate drama but the drama is never far behind.
I can see the thread now: "Girl at work likes me but has boyfriend, what to do?"
 

Goliath

Member
Kind of sad the girl needs to change her work because thirsty dudes can't behave in a normal way.

Yea of course but there are always toxic work environments for men and women. Sometimes it's sexual harassment, sometimes it's normal harassment sometimes it's just a crappy environment. Either way, it isn't healthy for her to stay there.
 
Yea of course but there are always toxic work environments for men and women. Sometimes it's sexual harassment, sometimes it's normal harassment sometimes it's just a crappy environment. Either way, it isn't healthy for her to stay there.

It's best buy. She can shut them down, and then the ones who couldn't get it anyway would still be around alongside the actual cool friend level ones.
 

Chococat

Member
Yea of course but there are always toxic work environments for men and women. Sometimes it's sexual harassment, sometimes it's normal harassment sometimes it's just a crappy environment. Either way, it isn't healthy for her to stay there.

Agree. But until then, the OP needs to help her with getting to a from work so she can block numbers on her phone. Unfortunately, sometime you have to work in shitty environment to make ends meet.
 
Happily married thanks, been a long road of experiences though.

How about you?

http://m.neogaf.com/showpost.php?p=236039218

Kd494pr.png
 
Humblebrag, my girlfriend is so hot literally everyone is hitting on her!

It's common for most women, period. If you've been in a relationship, you've probably heard your gf say something about SOMEONE hitting on them. No need to turn an issue into anything but the issue it is.
 

Vic_Viper

Member
Its going to happen no matter what you do Op. Best to just ignore it and leave it alone. If shes committed to the relationship then there's nothing to worry about.

But, if you are making a big deal about it and constantly worrying about her cheating or other guys trying to hook up with her it could lead to you inadvertently pushing her away. It might not seem like it, but the more you do to try and stop it the more likely it is.
 

Aselith

Member
So go back to HR? She can literally have all of their jobs if she wants it if she filed a complaint and they started back.
 
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