• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Guys at my girlsfriends workplace hitting on her

Chmpocalypse

Blizzard
I was kind of on board (as a young relationship) until this part. Nah man. I dated a girl like this at exactly that point in my life. Used to get mad for hours if she thought I glanced at a movie cover with a girl in a bikini a little too long. It's not worth walking on egg shells and the stress of it all just to avoid setting her off. Especially during school (my previously mentioned relationship totally screwed a year of college for me). Break it off, hang out with your upstairs friends, and relax. Just trust me on this one.

Had 2 relationships like this. Guess how fun they were, and if they lasted. Spoiler: nope.

Run. As fast as you can.
 
Probably so! But dynamics do change after relationships end, I've kept a fair amount of good friends after having broken up with girls before, in relationships that were also not healthy. After we split though, things changed and I still had a valuable friend.

It's worth a try if you're inclined, is all I'm saying.

Not at that age. No. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for someone is drop them like a bad fucking habit.

Teaches them they can't act like twats and expect others to stick around and tolerate it...
 
if the "m'lady" fits...
Blow it out your ass.

Not at that age. No. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do for someone is drop them like a bad fucking habit.

Teaches them they can't act like twats and expect others to stick around and tolerate it...
Ehhhh, she sounds like she has some kind of emotional issues. Like yeah guy can't fix her, but if OP feels like he wants to be supportive and be a friend, it's possible. I've done it a lot at a young age myself.

The priority though, should be getting out the relationship in the first place.
 
You're letting her run all over you with jealousy problems, and now you're wondering how it got here. Grow a backbone and put your foot down. Is that so hard?

Word!

And I PROMISE you all her anxiety is her guilty conscience from her cheating. Seen it before.

I was young once. Simping hard. Was getting flowers and writing sonnets n shit and mofos was running a train on my girl. It kinda hurt but it taught a great life lesson: if she'll cheat she was never yours to begin with.

So trust me: Peace the fuck out. All the signs are there. What? Do you need to get slapped in the face with the soggy condom to wake up? Cmon man....
 
I have two friends that used to work at a restaurant together. They are a couple. A new guy was hired, and while he knew that the girlfriend was in a relationship, he didn't know with whom. So in front of the boyfriend, right after the girlfriend left the room said, verbatim, "Too bad she has a boyfriend, otherwise I'd smash."

The boyfriend just smiled, put his hand on his shoulder and said, "Buddy, that's my girlfriend."

The new guy just shrunk and became profusely apologetic, unable to make eye contact. I imagine working there was a little awkward after that.

That's all. I just wanted to tell that story. Also I don't think you should be dating this person anymore.
 

Quixzlizx

Member
- Being cut off from your friends
- Going to relationship counseling
- Two month old relationship

7f8.gif
 
Word!

And I PROMISE you all her anxiety is her guilty conscience from her cheating. Seen it before.

I was young once. Simping hard. Was getting flowers and writing sonnets n shit and mofos was running a train on my girl. It kinda hurt but it taught a great life lesson: if she'll cheat she was never yours to begin with.

So trust me: Peace the fuck out. All the signs are there. What? Do you need to get slapped in the face with the soggy condom to wake up? Cmon man....

You guys need to cut the armchair psychologist shit
 

Kibbles

Member
The fact you're only 2 months into this relationship and this kinda shit is happening isn't good. Maybe cut your losses now before she dumps you for one of the Geek Squad members trying to insert new hardware...
Similar situation with the OP here with a girl I was seeing for 3 Months. She ended up hanging out with one of these guys just to get free weed off him..., I trusted her but it was weird and she just wanted to let me know and that she wouldn't do it again. Next thing I know about a week later she tells me she went out with him again and he tried to make a move on her in the car. I was pissed but just wanted to make sure she was ok. A few days later she brought up how it didn't seem like I cared or something and we got in a fight over it and she kinda flipped it on me somehow and broke up with me(???) lol

So man, idk. 🙃
 
Ehhhh, she sounds like she has some kind of emotional issues. Like yeah guy can't fix her, but if OP feels like he wants to be supportive and be a friend, it's possible. I've done it a lot at a young age myself.

The priority though, should be getting out the relationship in the first place.

I mean that's one option. Personally I don't bother trying to be a therapist to someone I used to fuck and suck. That's just not healthy for either person. Not until they've undergone a bit more maturity.

I think falling back completely is the best and healthiest option. Let her grow up. Maybe a few years down the road they'll reconnect and find they've grown up and do much better. But you don't deal with jealousy and codependency by trying to be "supportive" when erroneously accused of cheating. Not at that age...
 

Roubjon

Member
End the relationship now OP. I basically went through what you are right now, but for 2 years. I lost all my friends, lost contact with my family, lost my job prospects right out of college, gained 100 pounds, and was severely depressed / borderline suicidal.

I've bounced back since breaking up with her 7 months ago, but seriously dude. Please end the relationship now. This hurts to read coming from someone who was too afraid to end a relationship when I noticed things were going south. You're worth more than you think you are man.
 

Got

Banned
So lemme clue you in since you seemed to be confused as shit:

Dude made a thread asking for advice. Hes getting it. You're more than free to offer yours. Dont like it? Peace out. Or be supportive and be a friend....

he never recovered from getting smacked hard. it wrect him.
 
I mean that's one option. Personally I don't bother trying to be a therapist to someone I used to fuck and suck. That's just not healthy for either person. Not until they've undergone a bit more maturity.

I think falling back completely is the best and healthiest option. Let her grow up. Maybe a few years down the road they'll reconnect and find they've grown up and do much better. But you don't deal with jealousy and codependency by trying to be "supportive" when erroneously accused of cheating. Not at that age...

Word. I just mean supportive as in like, encouraging her to get actual help and maybe talking to her about things she's dealing with sometimes, but from a more emotional distance. But yeah their problems do sound a little intense, and I don't even know how guy feels about this in the first place.

It sounds like he's in deep.

So lemme clue you in since you seemed to be confused as shit:

Dude made a thread asking for advice. Hes getting it. You're more than free to offer yours. Dont like it? Peace out. Or be supportive and be a friend....

No, you just shouldn't be trying analyze people's anxiety and other mental health issues. It's silly at best and irresponsible at worst.
 
Word. I just mean supportive as in like, encouraging her to get actual help and maybe talking to her about things she's dealing with sometimes, but from a more emotional distance. But yeah their problems do sound a little intense, and I don't even know how guy feels about this in the first place.

It sounds like he's in deep.

You encourage her to get help by dumping her ass. Whether she engages in any serious amount of self reflection at that point is up to her.

He has a responsibility to himself first in a two month old relationship. Lol.
 
You encourage her to get help by dumping her ass. Whether she engages in any serious amount of self reflection at that point is up to her.

He has a responsibility to himself first in a two month old relationship. Lol.
Right I'm not saying he has a responsibility to do anything. I just get the impression he's attached pretty hard and ghosting might be a hard thing for him to do, options are good. Sometimes.
 

riotous

Banned
And I PROMISE you all her anxiety is her guilty conscience from her cheating. Seen it before.

Not every overly insecure person is a cheater and not every cheater acts insecure. It's just not that simple.

In the end it doesn't matter though; this behavior should be making OP not like the girl.. no one should put up with having to tell their female roommate to text their girl or any of this other dogshit. If you still are clinging to someone like that then you have some serious co-dependency issues you need to work out.
 
No, you just shouldn't be trying analyze people's anxiety and other mental health issues. It's silly at best and irresponsible at worst.

I mean saying someone that constantly accuses their SO of cheating when they ain't isn't indicative of them cheating themselves is me diagnosing her mental health???

The fuck you smoking?

Lemme break this down:

When someone is cheating a clear indicator is they always accusing you when you know you ain't doing no dirt. Combine this with a 60 fucking day relationship and OP concerned with all the dick offers she's getting what conclusion would you come to?

Not every overly insecure person is a cheater and not every cheater acts insecure. It's just not that simple.

In the end it doesn't matter though; this behavior should be making OP not like the girl.. no one should put up with having to tell their female roommate to text their girl or any of this other dogshit. If you still are clinging to someone like that then you have some serious co-dependency issues you need to work out.

Never said it was absolutely but in a 60 day relationship you err on the side of caution. The fuck..
 
Similar situation with the OP here with a girl I was seeing for 3 Months. She ended up hanging out with one of these guys just to get free weed off him..., I trusted her but it was weird and she just wanted to let me know and that she wouldn't do it again. Next thing I know about a week later she tells me she went out with him again and he tried to make a move on her in the car. I was pissed but just wanted to make sure she was ok. A few days later she brought up how it didn't seem like I cared or something and we got in a fight over it and she kinda flipped it on me somehow and broke up with me(???) lol

So man, idk. 🙃

I've seen shit like this happen too many times. Problem here is OP is blinded by either her looks or how good the sex is and doesn't have the kahunas to break up with her and leave the drama behind. In the end he'll be heartbroken from this girl. He can try and prove us all wrong but honestly this much drama two months into a relationship is definitely not worth it. If they make it through this rough patch and build on it something worse will happen down the road. Maybe OP is just a glutton for punishment who knows.. I feel he honestly knows what the right thing to do is here. He just doesn't have it in him to do it.
 
I mean saying someone that constantly accuses their SO of cheating when they ain't isn't indicative of them cheating themselves is me diagnosing her mental health???

The fuck you smoking?

Lemme break this down:

When someone is cheating a clear indicator is they always accusing you when you know you ain't doing no dirt. Combine this with a 60 fucking day relationship and OP concerned with all the dick offers she's getting what conclusion would you come to?



Never said it was absolutely but in a 60 day relationship you err on the side of caution. The fuck..

Hell man idk, that she's got issues? It wouldn't really matter to me at this point either way because I'd be out of there already. Whether she's cheating or not is kinda besides the point, the relationship's fucked and he's not gonna be able to fix that, even if she *isnt* cheating.

I just don't like this notion that people who've got anxiety and shit must be because they're doing something wrong, mental health issues get enough of a bad rap as it is yknow?
 
Yes you did; you "PROMISED" it lol.

In this specific situation I absolutely do. Not every situation ever. I promise you there will be another update talking about how she over a dudes house "watching Netflix" or some dumb shit. If he don't break up with her I'm confident in that outcome. Sorry.

Hell man idk, that she's got issues? It wouldn't really matter to me at this point either way because I'd be out of there already. Whether she's cheating or not is kinda besides the point, the relationship's fucked and he's not gonna be able to fix that, even if she *isnt* cheating.

I just don't like this notion that people who've got anxiety and shit must be because they're doing something wrong, mental health issues get enough of a bad rap as it is yknow?

Ok.

Pro tip: Your SO 60 days in constantly accusing you of cheating and she surrounded by dick hitting on her every day and she don't even block dudes odds are she getting smashed.
 

erragal

Member
Ask out the girl on the other floor. Your 'gf' probably picked up on something you were missing. Don't try to chase someone's insecurities with your imagination.
 

riotous

Banned
In this specific situation I absolutely do. Not every situation ever.

And what is the situation other than "she's overly insecure"? Who said anything about every situation ever? LOL

Sometimes people who cheat are huge hypocrites and act overly insecure; other times people are just.. insecure, and it has nothing to do with cheating. Either way it's a negative behavior that the OP shouldn't be putting up with. Instead he made his own thread about feeling insecure.. these two are two peas in a pod.

Sure the insecurity and the "not blocking dudes" are likely related; but not everyone who gets something out of attention from other people is cheating. In the end, it doesn't matter.
 
In this specific situation I absolutely do. Not every situation ever. I promise you there will be another update talking about how she over a dudes house "watching Netflix" or some dumb shit. If he don't break up with her I'm confident in that outcome. Sorry.



Ok.

Pro tip: Your SO 60 days in constantly accusing you of cheating and she surrounded by dick hitting on her every day and she don't even block dudes odds are she getting smashed.
Yeah but you know at this rate what the dude's next post is going to be, is that he's going to investigate further and find out for sure.

I'm saying he doesn't even need to stick around and find out for sure, even if she's *not* cheating, she's got issues he can't deal with. So he should get out now before it gets worse.
 
Yeah but you know at this rate what the dude's next post is going to be, is that he's going to investigate further and find out for sure.

I'm saying he doesn't even need to stick around and find out for sure, even if she's *not* cheating, she's got issues he can't deal with. So he should get out now before it gets worse.

Oh I agree with that 100%. But the young are always full of such hope.

And what is the situation other than "she's overly insecure"? Who said anything about every situation ever? LOL

Not me cause I'm talking about this specific thread.
 
So lemme clue you in since you seemed to be confused as shit:

Dude made a thread asking for advice. Hes getting it. You're more than free to offer yours. Dont like it? Peace out. Or be supportive and be a friend....

Preach

I've been in OP's position years ago, and I've seen it countless times. My best advice is you get one shot at life, why bother spending any of it on degraded experiences. Upgrade your life.
 
Oh I agree with that 100%. But the young are always full of such hope.

Right.

Plus, if she is, you're probably not gonna find a smoking gun anyway, and then it's easy to rationalize why you should stay with her (because you don't know that she's cheating on you "for sure!") and next thing you know you're a year deep in a shitty life sucking relationship.
 

sugarman

Member
Wait, counselling for a 2 month old relationship?

What is wrong with you OP. How have your real life friends not stopped this.
 
Right.

Plus, if she is, you're probably not gonna find a smoking gun anyway, and then it's easy to rationalize why you should stay with her (because you don't know that she's cheating on you "for sure!") and next thing you know you're a year deep in a shitty life sucking relationship.

Now we on the same page! Dont wait to find out. Leave. Have some self respect, some dignity and peace out.
 
Probably so! But dynamics do change after relationships end, I've kept a fair amount of good friends after having broken up with girls before, in relationships that were also not healthy. After we split though, things changed and I still had a valuable friend.

It's worth a try if you're inclined, is all I'm saying.

This is not worth a try. It very clearly isn't. Dude is in love after 2 fucking months with a girl who accuses him of cheating every 30s. And he has done about 10 stupid things as a result of this girl.

He doesn't need to be fed hope of anything meaningful with her. He doesn't need a friendship. He doesn't need to be her rock. Reading this story he needs to move the fuck on with his life.
 
My girlfriend of 3 years works at a hospital and gets hit on constantly. All you can do is make sure you're giving her enough reasons to keep coming home, and let the rest be. No use worrying about it, and if she truly loves you they mean nothing to her at all.

Don't worry about it.
 
I wonder where this girl is on the Hot to Crazy scale? Sounds like OPs inexperience hasn't given him time to learn not to stick your dick in it.


But, but, but she's hot. Totally not bragging or anything guys.
 

Wood Man

Member
Ask out the girl on the other floor. Your 'gf' probably picked up on something you were missing. Don't try to chase someone's insecurities with your imagination.

Could be why she hasn't talked to OP in 3 weeks. Maybe she had a little crush on you and for you saying "Text her saying you don't like me" might've hurt her a little.

You could be having fun with everyone in your house and enjoy a less stressful life.
 
Now we on the same page! Dont wait to find out. Leave. Have some self respect, some dignity and peace out.
word. It's also a good lesson for future relationships. If someone is trying to be controlling over you like that and dictate your life, you shouldn't take that either whether or not cheating is coming into play or not, that's a good enough reason to split in the first place. if you wouldn't do it to someone else, don't put up with someone else doing it to you.
 
If she hasnt responded and the texts are really unwanted, screnshot and send to HR. Issue fucking solved.

If not then those texts arent completely unwanted or on side. Fucking bail.
 
I will say that the extreme jealously is indicative of stuff. Seen it and experienced it too many times. She's not necessarily cheating. Actually I'd venture to guess she's not considering how young you guys are and what you've described, but I almost guarantee she ends up dating one of these dudes from work after your relationship ends. If not one of them, it's probably someone else she's pretty friendly with right now.
 
Could be why she hasn't talked to OP in 3 weeks. Maybe she had a little crush on you and for you saying "Text her saying you don't like me" might've hurt her a little.

You could be having fun with everyone in your house and enjoy a less stressful life.

This, that girl sounds cool, should've been talking her instead in the first place.
 

Nerokis

Member
I don't support post digging for responses but I have to say that there's nothing about saying that the GF will break up with the OP and date someone else suggests an issue with women as it's a theory that can be applied to a partner of any sex/gender.

A person with hardcore trust issues of their partner who simultaneously entertains a lot attention from people other than their partner is very likely to leave, cheat, or both. It won't happen in every situation, but it's very likely to happen.

The post in question didn't invoke trust issues at all. Instead, it emphasized that the OP meeting his girlfriend at a bus stop indicates she is vulnerable to men who might have more prolonged stretches of time to "appeal" to her.

This is terrible reasoning on a number of levels. Perhaps starting with the implication that there is something inherently worriesome about his significant other having male colleagues, if only because he himself apparently didn't need to jump through hoops to start something with her. Like, come on.

Such ridiculous reasoning has obvious connotations. A (strsight) guy who thinks that way won't always have an issue with women, but it's very likely they do.
 
If you do have to break up with her, make sure you tell her the truth and you had a lot of good input from your friends online.

She deserves that much.
 
Top Bottom