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Guys at my girlsfriends workplace hitting on her

The Hermit

The Hermit

Member
nicanica said:
You stupid mother fucker. That downstairs pussy is so wet for you right now.
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hahah

man, OPs posts are painful to read
 
E

ExVicis

Member
ethanny2 said:
LOL, i know all advice says cut and run, but I am just
a) astonished we we're having fun and acting like everything is cool, she agreed to go to therapy then out of nowhere she decided to stop contacting me and flip out
b) Upset she doesn't even end it person, or EVEN in text

So im kinda mad about and just want to know the reason
Click to expand...

I have never had any sort of ending relationship closure and I struggle to think of any of my friends who had their relationships end with closure either. Accept that you're not going to get it.

It takes two people to have a relationship, not one person and their good intentions.
 
T

Two Words

Member
ethanny2 said:
Update: Sorry for the necro bump and late conclusion but here it is...

After my girlfriend got angry at me for eating cake at my housemates birthday party (background:my housemate is a girl who I have no interest in but have been friends with for 1 semester. When I would go out on the weekends I wouldn't know any parties so I would always go with her, but nothing ever happened and I really never even considered doing anything with her) and got angry at me because she thought I was looking at other women on Instragram we broke up and I kept my distance for a while.

Meanwhile at my house, my housemate who I have told numerous times to stop communicating with me because my girlfriend doesn't want me talking to her continues to invite me to go places and come downstairs to the first floor (where I live) and try to talk to me. I need somewhere to place the blame on losing my girlfriend (irrational I know) so I get increasingly angry at this girl and every time she tries to talk to me I am dismissive and I eventually block her on FB messanger because I don't want her in my life. I, however only blocked her on messenger, and did not know that you could had to block someone on the actual Facebook app as well. I try to do that too, but I am prompted for a login and I was angry at the time so I decide to do it later.

Flash -forward 1-2 weeks and I go back to my girlfriends house to get some stuff I left over there. I ask her if we can be friends and then try to date later once she trusts me, she agrees and we proceed to go to an arcade later that week. We had a good time and agree that we should get back to together, but I told her (2 weeks ago) that I had blocked my housemate from Facebook. She says she will only get back together with me with I show her I blocked my housemate. I show her my phone, but forgot I only blocked her on messenger and not the FB app, she proceeds to flip out. I tell her it was a mistake and I swear I thought I had her blocked , she temporarily believes me.

The next day she says she called her sister and her sister thinks that Im a liar and I didn't block her on purpose so she is convinced about that. She also uses the fact that Im a computer science major (wtf) to say that I should know how to use FB 100% so she thinks Im lying. I convince her otherwise again (somehow) and we agree to keep the relationship going and find a couples counselor to talk about this stuff.

We spend like 2 weeks together and have a great time playing video games, going out, etc... Everything seemed great. I help her move into her new place and later she tells me that she is still worried that I lied about sleeping with my housemate. She tells me about a dude at her workplace who is married to a co-worker but cheats on her with another co-worker. She imposes this situation on me, and declares that Im dating my housemate and cheating on my housemate with her, or that my housemate is cool with me sleeping with both of them. (Wtf) I tell her that shes crazy, and thats not the case. Keep in mind it is summer break and everyone (all my housemates) has left back to their respective homes so no one I know is still in this town.

She is a huge activist (for anything feminism, BLM, fair-trade anything basically) and participates in local events and has a tight knit group of activists that she regularly talks to on a group chat. There is a guy in her activist group that she has been friends with for years and they hang out/go drinking all the time. She says how much I had in common with my housemates as a reason for why I would have slept with her, I say the same thing about this guy in her activist group and she says while he is interested in her they are just friends. She also told me 1 week before I am not allowed to have any female friends anymore, I don't have that much in the first place so I thought, "okay I'll cross that bridge when I come to it". But the fucked up part in my mind is that she still has guys friends, including this guy in the activist group and the dudes at her work. Im getting angry, but I never say anything I am saving it for therapy for which we had an appointment which was a week away.

We blow over it again and go back to hanging out and playing games, like normal. I had sex with the night before (not bragging its part of the story read on), and she goes home to get ready for work later. I text her the next day if she wants to do something, she says she'll hang out with a girlfriend. I reluctantly say okay, because if Im not hanging out with her I have nothing to do (all my friends left and I am staying her just for her, I also want to go home for the summer). She then says she did not want to have sex with me last night but did anyway. I tell her she could have just told me, shes told me before and I respect her decision. She says "it doesn't matter now anyway". I ask her what she meant and she doesn't respond to me for 3 days.

After 3 days she said she just wanted some space, (understandable we spent the whole previous week together) I say okay you could have just told me. She says she still not over me and what she thinks I did with my housemate. She then says she doesn't want to date me because I am too young (she is 27 and I am 22 even though we are both college seniors) and claims I am immature. I argue my case, and she doesn't text back for another 5 days.

So here I am 5 days after, I think its over, but I want closure (Are we broken up? Why are we braking up? etc). She will not answer any of my calls or read my messages, so I am considering going to her house (or where she works) but I don't want to seem crazy, what should I do?
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giphy.gif
 
W

wwm0nkey

Member
ExVicis said:
I have never had any sort of relationship ending closure and I struggle to think of any of my friends who had their relationships end with closure either. Accept that you're not going to get it.

It takes two people to have a relationship, not one person and their good intentions.
Click to expand...
This. I never got closure on any of the 2 I was in before I got engaged and the first time it drove me absolutely crazy and put me in a bad place for about a year or so but then I just kind of accepted it and moved on. 2nd one was just bad and I moved on real fast but also took a break for awhile.
 
Cracklox

Cracklox

Member
Matticers said:
This. Do not go to see her. Don't message her anymore. She wanted an excuse to end it and go do other things so that's what she did. It's not going to be rekindled and even if it did, she would just pull the same shit later or you'd be worrying about if she will or not.

You're better off forgetting she exists and moving on to find someone who actually cares. If she messages you, you shouldn't even respond. It's just her getting bored with whatever she had going on currently and it will just reopen the wound. Ditch her number and move on.

Also, if the roommate is remotely attractive to you, stop blocking her and spend some time hanging out with her to see how it goes. She might be cool, you might have things in common, you might have fun... and more importantly, you might forget about your terrible ex. Hell, it would probably piss your ex off which is an added bonus.
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Not always the case. I think I saw a movie or tv show once where that didn't work out so well ;)

IRL, it may not be great idea either depending on who you're messing with.

But all things being equal, yeah OP, totally hit up that roommate
 
W

Wandering Robot

Member
I haven't posted here before, but I'm all caught up, and I think I can safely say:
Please, OP...leave...This relationship isn't healthy. You've already tried going back despite all the issues you two had before, not to mention alienating someone who was trying to be nice to you. I know you want closure, but consider that she doesn't respect you and/or care about what you want out of this. Perhaps the best closure will be taking this opportunity to cut a toxic relationship and getting on with your life. Some do say the best revenge is living well.
 
Strangelove77

Strangelove77

Member
*whip sound*

I kind of want to see what this girl looks like now because it doesn't sound like her personality is worth all the shit you're putting yourself through. She's not particularly kind nor rich either, so I'm guessing she's really attractive.

If not...then I dunno. Shit's fucked.
 
T

The Mule

Member
I know there is already a wave of advice stating the same thing, but on GAF you can never be sure if the message is getting through, so here it is repeated again...

MOVE ON. DON'T GO BACK. CEASE ALL COMMUNICATION.

It should be like she never existed to you, other than to teach you an important lesson.
 
B

BreakyBoy

o_O @_@ O_o
I stopped dating two years ago to get my career/life in order. I was just thinking that it's beyond past time I get back in the saddle again.

I just read the whole OP. She's 27 and still trifling with all this petty jealousy BS?

I'm good man. I'll stay single for a little while longer.
 
V

Vectorman

Banned
mv5a_f-maxage-0.gif


This will all end with you being emotionally ruined, OP. Is your own mental welfare worth this girl who isn't even giving you the full story? Move on and apologize to your housemate for being a stan to a soon-to-be-crazy-ex-girlfriend.
 
R

Replicant

Member
ethanny2 said:
Meanwhile at my house, my housemate who I have told numerous times to stop communicating with me because my girlfriend doesn't want me talking to her continues to invite me to go places and come downstairs to the first floor (where I live) and try to talk to me. I need somewhere to place the blame on losing my girlfriend (irrational I know) so I get increasingly angry at this girl and every time she tries to talk to me I am dismissive and I eventually block her on FB messanger because I don't want her in my life. I, however only blocked her on messenger, and did not know that you could had to block someone on the actual Facebook app as well. I try to do that too, but I am prompted for a login and I was angry at the time so I decide to do it later.
Click to expand...

That's a really cruel thing to do. She has nothing to do with your GF's breakdown and yet she's the one who shouldered the blame for all of the fallout? That's the shittiest thing you can do to someone who just tried to friend you.
 
highrider

highrider

Banned
Steeped in a Sea of Games said:
Dude, you come across as having no self-respect. A total wet blanket. You will end up pushing everyone close to you away and end up with nothing at the conclusion of this fiasco.
Click to expand...

It's harsh, but I have to agree. You're better off being alone op, take this as a learning experience and try to figure yourself out a bit.
 
M

MotionBlue

Member
I'm late to this topic, and echoing sentiments.

A 27 year old person should not have that level of insecurity, and from personal experience is probably projecting. Don't dig if you're scared of answers.
 
R

riotous

Banned
Honestly, with your description of how you treated your roommate.. not sure which one of you dodged the bigger bullet.
 
Spacejaws

Spacejaws

Member
Abandon all hope, ye who enter this here relationship.

Break up with her, bang your roomate when she comes back and laugh out loud all the way to the bank.
 
H

HowZatOZ

Banned
Oh GAF you never disappoint. It's obvious that all we hear on here is the bad stuff, because well why would someone need to vent about the good stuff?

Seriously though, what the fuck dude. How old are you and why are you even in this relationship still? Blocking roommates is hilariously petty, even more so because your girlfriend told you to. Holy hell some people just can't relationship well.
 
W

weekev

Banned
Holy fuck OP cut and run from that psycho and count your lucky stars you managed to escape. If your housemate is hot, think about hitting that. She's clearly into you.
 
I

ISOM

Member
OP you're dumb. Your girlfriend showed jealous destructive behavior and instead of heeding our advice in this thread you continued to plow on without a care in the world while treating the friends who wanted to be with you like shit. I have nothing positive to say other than you deserved it. The warning signs were there and you created this thread but in the end you decided to ignore everything.
 
T

tsumineko

Member
weekev said:
Holy fuck OP cut and run from that psycho and count your lucky stars you managed to escape. If your housemate is hot, think about hitting that. She's clearly into you.
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Don't give him that advice, we need to protect the housemate from this guy.
 
M

MadeULook

Member
OP, reading your posts were some of the most painful minutes of my life. If I were you, I would've left this chick a long time ago. The relationship clearly isn't working out, she's clearly got some kind of crazy mental disorder, and it brings you nothing but stress.

Your roommate sounds genuinely attracted to you so why not go on a date or two with her after leaving psycho girl? You might be surprised if you do.
 
H

Horse Detective

Why the long case?
I would be really surprised if the OP listened to all the "Get Out" posts. He's deep down that rabbit hole.

These posts were sad to read.
 
D

DeathyBoy

Banned
MadeULook said:
OP, reading your posts were some of the most painful minutes of my life. If I were you, I would've left this chick a long time ago. The relationship clearly isn't working out, she's clearly got some kind of crazy mental disorder, and it brings you nothing but stress.

Your roommate sounds genuinely attracted to you so why not go on a date or two with her after leaving psycho girl? You might be surprised if you do.
Click to expand...

OP seems like me, someone who doesn't understand the concept of women liking him and thus can't see the possibility of dating non batshit insane women.
 
R

riotous

Banned
Because his roommate talks to him sometimes and hangs out with him; CLEARLY she wants his dick. What in the world?
 
M

Morrigan Stark

Arrogant Smirk
So you mistreat a friendly housemate because of a petty, jealous girlfriend who treats you like shit and whom you should have dumped ages ago? And you get back together with her, let her walk all over you, agree to not have any female friends while she gets to have male friends...??

Everything about this story is wrong. The right thing to do would be to dump this psycho bitch and ghost her forever, apologize to your housemate and resume your friendship (don't date her -- she deserves better than you), but of course you won't do any of that...

Replicant said:
That's a really cruel thing to do. She has nothing to do with your GF's breakdown and yet she's the one who shouldered the blame for all of the fallout? That's the shittiest thing you can do to someone who just tried to friend you.
Click to expand...
Yup

riotous said:
Honestly, with your description of how you treated your roommate.. not sure which one of you dodged the bigger bullet.
Click to expand...
Also yup

tsumineko said:
Don't give him that advice, we need to protect the housemate from this guy.
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And this too.
 
C

CesspoolofHatred

Member
The housemate sounds like a nice girl who didn't even remotely deserve to be dragged into this nonsense.

How about maybe spending more time with her instead of wasting time on a doomed relationship?

I ain't even had a girlfriend and even I'm shaking my head right now. Just let it go, man. It's over. It ain't worth it.
 
H

Horse Detective

Why the long case?
riotous said:
Because his roommate talks to him sometimes and hangs out with him; CLEARLY she wants his dick. What in the world?
Click to expand...
I avoid all people who talk to me about anything at all for this reason. I don't even like communicating in restaraunts

You really cant be too safe
 
C

CesspoolofHatred

Member
BigJonsson said:
You were going to go to couples counseling after dating less than 2 months? Did I read that right? :|
Click to expand...

I know, right?

If you need it after, like, a few years or so that's one thing. But just two months in? Shit's not worth saving, man.

At this point I'd say ditch the "closure" and move the fuck on.
 
T

TheFatMan

Member
Dude you both need to get some self respect and emotional maturity. Reading that was embarrassing.

Honestly it sounds like some shit I hear the teenagers who work for me talking about, and yet you are both in your 20s.

Seriously, if you can't trust someone else then you have no business being in a relationship with them or anyone.
 
D

DrBillRiverman

Member
Seems pretty cut and dry to me. The relationship is toxic.

But man, I've been there. Its hard to completely break it off with someone, even if it's the right thing to do.

You gotta make a clean break from this. Block all communication. Mostly just so you aren't tempted to talk to her.

In the mean time, bury yourself in work, school, hobies whatever. Hit the gym, post big break work outs are great.
 
R

Rad-

Member
Wow OP, just wow. What the hell are you doing man? That last update was hard to read because it's so embarrassing. You need to start acting like a man and stop allowing people to push you around like that.
 
N

Nether!

Member
I know people go through rough learning patches with relationships at 17 or 18 when they first get to college, but even your young age isn't an excuse for some of this erratic and childish behaviour.
You need to move on.
 
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