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[Chezzymann]

Just wondering what the worst slip ups youve made to people in a conversation.

My parents today were reading a devotion about the struggles of life and how you have to push through or whatever, and I was like "oh thats like syphilis" and everyone stared at me like i was crazy, and my brother was like "thats an STD". I meant sisyphus.

 

[Tagyhag]

I was talking to a higher-up that I never met through the phone and I called him ma'am because he sounded like a woman, he quickly corrected me and said to not worry because it happens a lot.

Felt really embarrassed but it could have went worse.

 

[zeemumu]

In like 5th grade a teacher was having us record a sort of radio show of a popular fairy tale. Ours was Cinderella, and while I was recording some narration I accidentally said "bra" instead of "ball." Asked the teacher if I could redo the line and he just said "No." Left that in for the final take so the whole class heard it.


And recently I accidentally called one of my friends by another friend's name. Instead of trying to unsuccessfully deny it I ended up owning it and deciding that to make things easier on myself I'd call them both an amalgam of both of their names.

 

[vikki]

Reciting Tim and Eric in a theatre packed full of old people. "I hate these old men!" It was a Werner Herzog film.

 

[GamerJM]

When talking to my parents as a kid:
-I thought "condom," and "condo," were the same thing (meaning condo, had no idea what a condom was) and made a comment about a family "buying a condom".
-I mixed up the words "pissed," and "ticked". They both mean the same thing but the former was a word that we were supposed to say in the house, but I forgot which one was which.

Also, one time a girl I met on a dating site and I were hanging out in my bed, and she was talking about casual sex and at one point she said "I mean, I thought you wanted to hook up with me when I was coming here". I was going to respond by saying something related to that and then lead into asking her, but I forgot what it was. So I just starred at her for like a minute, then said "Uh, I was going to say something but just completely forgot what it was," and then ended up changing the subject.

Spoiler

We didn't end up hooking up and I've still never had sex.

There was also a professor I had who had a name that looked like it was pronounced like "Areola," but wasn't, and I accidentally called him "Mr Areola," once.

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

Wishing a hot girl I had a crush on in high school "sucsex" instead of success. I looked like a right knob.

 

[zeemumu]

Oh and there was the first time I ever cursed. I was in daycare and I said "bitch" instead of "witch" by accident and the other kids ran to tell the daycare lady and I was shamed all day.


But now that I'm grown...

 

[jelly]

You can't be far behind Michelle, how far along are you?

Not pregnant.

 

[RadioJoNES64]

I made a joke about what I assumed to be a woman fake crying when she was actually depressed about her abusive boyfriend.

 

[Lagamorph]

I was in a telephone meeting at work once with people from the UK, Norway and India and thought my microphone was muted as I loudly sighed "I'm so fucking bored"

My microphone was not muted.

 

[TickleMeElbow]

This wasn't my slip up, but I was involved and there to witness it.

Back in HS this kid with a congenital heart disease died. He was actually a huge asshole, but since he died everyone at school was on that "omg he was such a great person, I'm soooo sad he passed" type thing. A friend and I were walking down the hallway talking about how as soon as someone dies all of a sudden all these people who didn't like him or know him start acting like he was a great person. My friend was like "yeah, but it would be fucked up if someone was like...that kid was a dick, I'm glad he died".

The school had put up this memorial in front of the main office, and my friend said the second half of the sentence right as we passed the memorial. Of course this girl standing by the memorial hears him say the second half, not hearing the "it would be fucked up if someone was like..." part. So all this girl hears is my friend say "that kid was a dick, I'm glad he died" in front of this dead kid's memorial lol.

 

[paragonpro]

I was talking about the libyia crisis a few years ago with my ex gfs parents, in that conversation i called libyia, labia, twice.

 

[Number_6]

Used to work at a store selling pool supplies.

A mother purchased a pool alarm in case her daughter falls in. Daughter looked old enough to swim, and it was mentioned that she's learning to swim, but whatever, they're still concerned she might fall in and drown. Fair enough. Pool alarm go!

Week later, mother comes to return the alarm. I remembered why it was purchased. I thought the daughter must have proven herself a competent swimmer in this time, but instead of asking this, or keeping my mouth shut, I asked why she was returning the alarm (part of my job) and speculated that she is "no longer concerned about her daughter."

Oops.

I didn't mean it that way, but that's how it sounded. Lady lost her shit. My boss was there. And his boss too.

Didn't get fired, but I quit a month later, as I had planned to do anyway.

 

[H.Protagonist]

I'm sure I've done way worse, but recently I smugly told my boss that I posted a "Dick Press" to our 60k+ followers on Twitter (my first week on the job). To his credit he didn't seem fazed in the slighted.

 

[pixeldash]

Back when I was ~14 we had company coming over for dinner. Everyone was gathering around the table and, wanting to be polite, I asked one of our guests “where would you like to sit?”. But I misspoke and asked “where would you like to shit?” instead.

They were pretty strictly conservative, so they didn’t appreciate even the potential humor in the situation :/

 

[funkystudent]

Was presenting a radio show in college playing the top charts of the week and a song from Glee was in the chart. I said accidentally said "gee" instead of Glee, realised what I said half way into the sentence and ended up corpsing pretty bad.


Translator Note - Gee = Irish slang for a womens private parts.

 

[Like the hat?]

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

 

[Ahasverus]

I once mocked a dude in school because he overreacted because his mom packed him some meat for lunch.

He was really poor, he was legit happy.

 

[RobertRaviolli]

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

Jesus fucking Christ that's a big one, did she know It was a fuck up or did she take It badly?

 

[Linkura]

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

 

[MIMIC]

Teaching in schools, my most frequent slip ups are mistaking a boy for a girl (and vice versa).

Student: "He won't give me my pen back."
Me: "Give him his pen back"
CLASS OUT LOUD AND IN UNISON: "That's a girl!"

-_____-

 

[televator]

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

Ooooooh noooooo

 

[Puck Beaverton]

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

ayyyyyyyyy lmao

 

[The Guy In Red]

I met a black dude just 10 days ago and added him on snapchat while he was sitting pretty close by at dinner, whilst a few other black people where there. As a joke, he asked "who is this guy who added me?"

As a joke I slipped up and said "It's that nigga (my name)".

I'm Not black so this was such a fuck up.

 

[mrklaw]

Not that bad really, but one of many cards came around the office and I put my usual 'have a great day!' comment in, and handed it to my colleague next to me....who took a quick look and then pointed out if was their leaving card.

 

[Matsukaze]

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

 

[thequickandthedead]

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

That doesn't sound like a slip up....

 

[Drain You]

Jesus fucking Christ that's a big one, did she know It was a fuck up or did she take It badly?

I'm dying here. I need to know what happened afterwards.

I can't come up with a slip up of mine off the top of my head but I'd I feel like I end up saying something stupid by accident quite often.

 

[Ataxia]

You know those “your mom” jokes? Back in highschool my friends and I would make those and also the occasional “your dad” joke

Anyway one day my friend came to school and told us that his dad had passed away...

You can see where this is going. I felt so bad afterwards

 

[MisterAnderson]

At my office lunch is catered every day and we were in the process of finding a replacement caterer. This one particular day, lunch gets set up by the caterer and she leaves as usual once we start lining up for food. We all line up and start grabbing the food into our plates, and it's this BBQ stuff that looks delicious, so I proclaim "This food looks great, why are we getting rid of this caterer again???!"

It's then that I feel a nudge next to me, so I turn and see my coworker pointing to my right with a concerned look on her face. To my horror the caterer had come back and was standing right next to me because she apparently forgot something.

"Enjoy" she reluctantly said as she left the office. I felt terrible.

Spoiler

The caterer was not yet aware that we were replacing them.

 

[Ctlead]

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

Oof.

 

[99Luffy]

My coworker adopted a baby but then the birth mother changed her mind and took her back. I asked how long she had her for and she said '1 day.'

Without thinking I automatically said 'oh thats not too bad.'

She wasnt too pleased with that response.

 

[SpaceWolf]

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

 

[MIMIC]

You know those ”your mom" jokes? Back in highschool my friends and I would make those and also the occasional ”your dad" joke

Anyway one day my friend came to school and told us that his dad had passed away...

You can see where this is going. I felt so bad afterwards

1. Yikes
2. It's "yo mama!" =p

 

[daxy]

Once called a teacher of mine dad. I swiftly took on the brightest shade of red you could imagine.

 

[TAD]

I was talking to a higher-up that I never met through the phone and I called him ma'am because he sounded like a woman, he quickly corrected me and said to not worry because it happens a lot.

Felt really embarrassed but it could have went worse.

We did a lot of work with a French company last year and our buyer was speaking to one of their guys on the phone but couldn't get his point across. Well it just so happens one our designers is French so he puts her on the phone to help explain. Turns out the guy is Romanian.

 

[mike6467]

When I was little (5 or 6) I would occasionally think I was able to stealthily communicate with my parents by spelling words instead of saying them.

At one point I wanted to know if my Dad had gone downstairs to wrap a present I was psyched for. So in front of a large amount of company I confidently asked "have you gone downstairs and r-a-p-e-d the box yet?" My mom was very insistent I get better at spelling after that.

 

[Patrick Bateman]

Back in OR an old lady with a fracture had to be moved from bed to operating table and as she was in pain I told her to clench her teeth during that moment.
She looked at my funny like „WTF are you saying?“ when I realised that she was completely toothless and already removed her false teeth.

 

[TissueBox]

 

[Painguy]

In elementary school I started watching yu yu hakusho. Main character looked mexican to me. There were also a lot of japanese writing in the show. I thought the writing was chinese. Somehow my brain took this info and told itself that the name of the language chinese ppl spoke was Spanish. Being tge talkative kid that I was, I would ask chinese kids if they spoke spanish.

 

[theofficefan99]

It wasn't a slip-up with words, really, but back when I was closeted, I was hanging out with a few guys and girls, and someone jokingly said "(My name) are you gay?" and instead of playing it cool, I literally FROZE and got BRIGHT RED and stayed silent for like 15 seconds before I very unconvincingly said "no....???"

I wanted to slap myself for being so transparent

 

[Friggz]

when i was younger i had a job at a help desk, one of my calls was from a woman named becky (also my wife's name). We were on the call for about 20 minutes and as we were hanging up i accidentally said i love you.....i dont know if it was the fact her name was becky and my brain is wired to say that whenever i hang up with my wife or what...but it was awkward as all hell.

 

[Shaanyboi]

Stupidly made a 'yo mama' joke on a kid whose mom had died the year prior.

I hate myself

 

[TheFurizzlyBear]

1. Yikes
2. It's "yo mama!" =p

If you are white enough it's not
Source:

Spoiler

being very white

 

[Laevateinn]

We were trying to cancel a build the other day and a coworker said "abort harder" so I replied "that's what your mom said." It was probably a bit much but I couldn't resist the setup.

 

[Hydrus]

I was in the 6th grade, dozing off/ day dreaming in class while the teacher was doing some boring lesson on those old overhead projectors. It was so quite that the only thing you could hear was the fan from the projector. I just randomly said out loud "GOKU!!!". My teacher was in the zone when I said that and she was like "what?". I just said I was coughing. Luckily most people were asleep and the only ones that caught me were my friends I sat next too. They busted out laughing. Lol not sure what exactly happened with me.

 

[Fbh]

Oh so many I can't count them anymore

Was raised by Swiss parents in South America (where I was born and raised). But am currently living in Switzerland.
So while my pronunciation of Swiss German is pretty much perfect, my vocabulary isn't as good


If I had an accent people would just assume I'm not from around here and look past some dumb mistakes. But since I don't I'm pretty sure that some just think I'm stupid

 

[cryptosporidium]

Blind guy bumped into me and I said watch where your going

 

[Head of Vengarl]

I've had several bad ones where, during a conversation, I described someone as "fat" or "overweight" and then immediately realized that the person I was talking to or someone in the group was overweight.

I'm very white. I had a big crush on this black girl in high school. We used to kinda flirt before/after class. I was trying and failing to work up the nerve to ask her out. Our conversation turned into something like a betting kind of thing.

What I should have said: ok, but if I win, you go out with me sometime

What I said: ok, but if I win, you have to be my slave

Kill me.

Goddamn.

 

[NekoFever]

When I was working retail, a blind guy came in and asked for some help picking out a birthday card, so I spent some time with him, reading the messages and describing them so he could pick one he liked. He was happy and thanked me. "See you later," I responded.

Now that I'm older I've met enough blind people to know that it's taken in the manner intended and they know it's a figure of speech that they mostly wouldn't even notice, but still, I was mortified.

More recently, my girlfriend and I were discussing our expectations before our first date (we met online) and I said that I had "low expectations". What I meant was that I've had a lot of first dates and far fewer second dates so I wasn't expecting anything to come of it, but yeesh, I should have phrased that differently. She still makes fun of me for that one.