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Worst slip ups you've said to people?
- Thread starter Chezzymann
- Start date
CalamityPixel
Member
I always ask my Dad
"Do you smell that?"
Usually in times of smelling weed, piss, gas etc
Then it always hits me a second later that no he can't. He lost is sense of smell through some sinus surgery.
"Do you smell that?"
Usually in times of smelling weed, piss, gas etc
Then it always hits me a second later that no he can't. He lost is sense of smell through some sinus surgery.
aGuyInaBearSuit
Member
So my worst blunder came freshman year of college. Socially inept weirdo I was, I was shocked to find a cute girl really hitting it off with me. At one point, she said she was worried about "censoring herself" around me because she didn't want to offend me. I was a teenage edgelord so I told her it would take a lot for me to be offended. She then said that now she couldn't think of a joke because now she felt like she was on the spot.
The next sentence I said spilled out of my mouth without me thinking about it, without plotting it out, or without me ever having said it before in my life:
"Well, humor is like sex. It's no fun if it's forced."
Yeah, we didn't hang out after that. Thankfully I've grown up a lot since then and don't go around telling the edgiest bullshit jokes I can think of anymore. But I cringe myself half to death whenever I think about it now.
The next sentence I said spilled out of my mouth without me thinking about it, without plotting it out, or without me ever having said it before in my life:
"Well, humor is like sex. It's no fun if it's forced."
Yeah, we didn't hang out after that. Thankfully I've grown up a lot since then and don't go around telling the edgiest bullshit jokes I can think of anymore. But I cringe myself half to death whenever I think about it now.
AntraxSuicide
Banned
My wife and I were in the car talking about Marvel movies one time, and we couldn't remember Peggy's daughter's name. After awhile, I just said, "I'm pretty sure it's some really old sounding name. Like an old woman would have."
About ten minutes later, it hit me that her name is Sharon, which is my wife's name.
About ten minutes later, it hit me that her name is Sharon, which is my wife's name.
Nothing springs to mind outside of the standard calling the teacher "mum".
Wife did send a message to our family whatspp group (my parents, brother and SIL) after my mum and dad had had an afternoon in Stratford upon Avon. "Hope you've had a nice wank in Stratford". Joys of autocorrect.
Wife did send a message to our family whatspp group (my parents, brother and SIL) after my mum and dad had had an afternoon in Stratford upon Avon. "Hope you've had a nice wank in Stratford". Joys of autocorrect.
NoblesseOblige
Banned
Few years back out of habit I asked a coworker how her husband was doing even though I knew in the back of my head he passed away earlier that year. I remembered as the words came out of my mouth.
ClayKavalier
Banned
Did you say Its no fun UNLESS its forced?
What you wrote is kind of odd I guess, doesnt seem terrible enough to obsess over though.
Had a black employee at work washing a huge amount of dishes and I told him our boss was working him "like a slave". Yup.
Also at work, we'd use colored stickers to mark food so everyone would know what time of the day the food was prepped. We had a new employee who kept putting the wrong color on everything so I sarcastically asked if he was colorblind.
He was.
aGuyInaBearSuit
Member
It just kind of feels like making light of a serious subject. Also I barely knew this girl I was trying to impress so dropping a rape joke was probably a bad move.
Blitzrules240
Banned
I said sodomy was one of the deadly sins when I was conversing with my brother and mother.
That was a fun conversation...
That was a fun conversation...
Vital Tundra
Member
I called a lady a sir at work. She corrected me and I said sorry. Later I saw her and she looked REALLY upset at me. In my defense she was very overweight, had gray short hair, and was wearing a polo shirt and some khakis. If she never said a word I would have never guessed she was a woman.
In high school, I saw an asian underclassman in my peripheral vision bugging someone, and mistook her for someone in my year. The only similarity the two had was the fact that they were both asian. I felt terrible afterwards.
I would also constantly get the names of people in my class mixed up, which was always pretty awkward.
I would also constantly get the names of people in my class mixed up, which was always pretty awkward.
At work I had a phone conversation with my wife. Ended with, "Bye, love you."
Immediately after had a phone conversation with my boss (also a woman). Ended with "Bye, love you."
I hung up and sat there thinking, oops. I sent her an immediate email explaining that I didn't love her, and that I was just talking to my wife. She thought it was hilarious. (She's also married.)
Immediately after had a phone conversation with my boss (also a woman). Ended with "Bye, love you."
I hung up and sat there thinking, oops. I sent her an immediate email explaining that I didn't love her, and that I was just talking to my wife. She thought it was hilarious. (She's also married.)
Captainbojanglesiii
Banned
Nooooooooo
Astral Dog
Member
What is a sysyphus
I made signs to a teacher i was going to cut her head 😳
I made signs to a teacher i was going to cut her head 😳
There were some professors talking together and I went to ask them about a rumor of exams being rescheduled because we had like 7 in 3 days.
Oldest professor: yeah we are thinking about that, we don't want to perturbate the students.
Stupid me: yeah pls don't masturbate us.
Everyone laughs
I realize after some seconds and want to die
Oldest professor: yeah we are thinking about that, we don't want to perturbate the students.
Stupid me: yeah pls don't masturbate us.
Everyone laughs
I realize after some seconds and want to die
2blackcats
Member
Vincent Alexander
Member
This thread is already archive material.
The Wheel of Fortune
Member
The worst one was when I accidentaly changed my ex's last name. We were fooling around via text and I wrote her full name, but by accident I changed her last name with one of my friend's (they have the same name, for what it's worth). She didn't make a big deal out of it, just texted me "that's not my name" back, but I later learned that it was a huge mistake.
At least now I'm sure it's never gonna happen to me again.
At least now I'm sure it's never gonna happen to me again.
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
I really want to know the continuation of this story, like the girl's reaction after you saying that for example, lol.
Do you mind sharing it, pretty please? XD
Like the hat?
Banned
My brothers and I would do the be each other's slave thing because we were dumb ass white privilege jerk offs so it just slipped out. I've never said that again.
She laughed about it but I never worked up the nerve to ask her out after that. We stayed friends though.
She laughed about it but I never worked up the nerve to ask her out after that. We stayed friends though.
TimExecutor
Neo Member
I once made suggestions to a woman on how she should be raising her kids...
I've never seen anyone so offended/angry by something that isn't an ad hominem attack.
I've never seen anyone so offended/angry by something that isn't an ad hominem attack.
Laughing Banana
Weeping Pickle
Valkerionseven
Member
aww
My first year in High school, went to a fairly innocent elementary/junior high til this point. Maybe week 2 or so.
Me to a sophomore girl in my health class, who was also a top student.
Me: oh wow you can really tell your pregnant
Her: ...
Me: .......
Ah I guess unwanted teenage pregnancy is not exactly a cheery topic. Never saw her again after the semester ended and she had her kid -shrug-
TimeEffect
Member
Had to introduce some speaker in uni and i most definitely said breast instead of best
Im pretty sure its because the next word staryed with an r but i dont remember
Im pretty sure its because the next word staryed with an r but i dont remember
MoonsaultSlayer
Member
An older fellow I work with whom I've become friends with outside of work has a lazy eye and one day while examining a part we were working on, I said to him:
"Look at these holes, aren't they a little cockeyed?" Insta-cringe for daaaaaayyyyssss.
"Look at these holes, aren't they a little cockeyed?" Insta-cringe for daaaaaayyyyssss.
Sitting at my desk, drinking an energy drink. A lady walks by and says "Those will kill you, you know." to which I reply, jokingly, "Yeah, that's the point."
A week later I get paperwork in the mail from my job about mental health sites, hotlines, facilities to help with suicidal and depression.
A week later I get paperwork in the mail from my job about mental health sites, hotlines, facilities to help with suicidal and depression.
WhiteRabbitEXE
Member
I dont really have anything of note for myself. My younger sister did call El Palacio (Mexican restaurant) El Fellatio on accident once.
chicken_pasta
Banned
My girlfriend is German, and once we were cuddling and I called her my beautiful Dutch girl, to which she answered "What?! I'm not Dutch!"
See, neither English nor German are my native languages, and I somehow mixed up Deutsch- with Dutch.
See, neither English nor German are my native languages, and I somehow mixed up Deutsch- with Dutch.
I had just started working at a new job. My new boss was transgender. Im honestly not sure whats considered the appropriate way to say this, so if this offends someone, please correct me and let me know how I can say it correctly in the future: My boss had the voice of a man over 50.
At one point my boss called over to me to ask a question, and I replied, yes, sir. Things got real quiet, and I realized what I had done. I apologized, but no one said anything. Ten minutes later I received a long email instructing me in no uncertain terms to never use that word again.
I was grateful to have the opportunity to work there and we developed a good relationship after that. I still wish I could have been better prepared for that; I feel really bad about it to this day.
At one point my boss called over to me to ask a question, and I replied, yes, sir. Things got real quiet, and I realized what I had done. I apologized, but no one said anything. Ten minutes later I received a long email instructing me in no uncertain terms to never use that word again.
I was grateful to have the opportunity to work there and we developed a good relationship after that. I still wish I could have been better prepared for that; I feel really bad about it to this day.
Jeez mine is pretty tame compared to everyone else. I can't remember anything worse at least.
When I go to the movies, I usually get popcorn. When the person hands me my popcorn, they save enjoy your movie.
I end up saying "You too." Which makes no bloody sense. You think I would have learned after the first time, but I still do it from time to time.
When I go to the movies, I usually get popcorn. When the person hands me my popcorn, they save enjoy your movie.
I end up saying "You too." Which makes no bloody sense. You think I would have learned after the first time, but I still do it from time to time.
super-famicom
Member
Me: "Your son/daughter is very cute."
Someone: "Uhm that's my daughter/son."
Me: "Oh, sorry!"
Someone: "Uhm that's my daughter/son."
Me: "Oh, sorry!"
Discopizza
Member
At an old retail job, I was in the break room complaining to friends about a lazy co-worker, not realizing that his mom that recently started working there was in the room. She never said anything, so hopefully she wasn't paying attention and didn't hear me.
Shadax the wizard
Member
When ordering pljeskavica I accidentally said peechkavica. (Peechka = pussy)
Not me, but a friend of mine was invited to dinner at another friend's house once. While eating he said "Wow, this tastes shit", when actually he meant to say "Wow, this tastes good". To this day he can't explain how one could ever mix those two words up but damn if it isnt hilarious every time I think of it.
Buckle up, this one is rough.
A few years back I was working retail and I'd also previously worked hospitality. A regular customer from my hospitality days came through one day and I was delighted to see her.
I tried to remember things we used to talk about, but only remembered that she had a grandson. After asking how the family was, I asked:
"How's your grandson? He'd be all grown up by now, right?"
She gave me this blank look and took a second before answering.
"Oh, we don't really see him anymore".
A second passes and I suddenly remembered why they don't see him anymore. The kid had died, and I remembered us talking about him because she'd once come into work after the funeral.
I quickly changed the subject and wrapped up the conversation before retreating to the staff room so that my spine could slide out of my body. Absolutely horrendous. I still look back and cringe. Haven't seen her since.
A few years back I was working retail and I'd also previously worked hospitality. A regular customer from my hospitality days came through one day and I was delighted to see her.
I tried to remember things we used to talk about, but only remembered that she had a grandson. After asking how the family was, I asked:
"How's your grandson? He'd be all grown up by now, right?"
She gave me this blank look and took a second before answering.
"Oh, we don't really see him anymore".
A second passes and I suddenly remembered why they don't see him anymore. The kid had died, and I remembered us talking about him because she'd once come into work after the funeral.
I quickly changed the subject and wrapped up the conversation before retreating to the staff room so that my spine could slide out of my body. Absolutely horrendous. I still look back and cringe. Haven't seen her since.
legend
I saw this on Jimmy Carr's routine
"Would you have sex with your father to save your mother?"
I thought I'd repeat the same word for word to some friends.
It went well with the first 2 who were guys. Then I repeated the same to a girl, even the 'easier for you since you're a girl' line, forgetting that her father had passed away during her childhood.
Wanted to kill myself. Apologized for the rest of the evening
"Would you have sex with your father to save your mother?"
I thought I'd repeat the same word for word to some friends.
It went well with the first 2 who were guys. Then I repeated the same to a girl, even the 'easier for you since you're a girl' line, forgetting that her father had passed away during her childhood.
Wanted to kill myself. Apologized for the rest of the evening
PaulExcellent
Member
I did the same with my current girlfriend during our first year of dating. We were walking to class, and I just remember letting the words slip out, turning around, and walking home.
We've been together for 6 years, so it could have gone worse.
My worst slip-up to date: I was laying in bed with my - at that time - girlfriend (both 17 y.o, so first relationship ever). We were in the middle of starting things up for the first time, when this funny anecdote my hot roommate (let's call her Ann) had said, popped up in my mind (she was obviously jealous of her).
Wanting to tell this funny anecdote I turned around and said: "Ann ... "
That's when I decided it might be the wrong moment to start talking about this, so I stopped mid-sentence, only uttering her name...
I'm certain that to this day, she still believes I mistook her for my roommate. She had low self-esteem and this obviously didn't make it any better. This didn't end our relationship but I do believe it made her think I wasn't really serious in my relationship with her.
Wanting to tell this funny anecdote I turned around and said: "Ann ... "
That's when I decided it might be the wrong moment to start talking about this, so I stopped mid-sentence, only uttering her name...
I'm certain that to this day, she still believes I mistook her for my roommate. She had low self-esteem and this obviously didn't make it any better. This didn't end our relationship but I do believe it made her think I wasn't really serious in my relationship with her.
Second worst slip up: tryimg to sleep in a tent during a music festival with a female friend of mine. She had had some bad experiences with friends of hers hitting on her so, I obviously didn't make a move at her since I didn't want to jeopardize the friendship.
Both of us couldn't sleep for hours. At some point I got annoyed because I was really sleepy but still couldn't sleep. So, I said annoyed: "It's not going to happen, is it?" Referring to falling asleep ofcourse.
Ofcourse she took it differently. The next day she wouldn't talk to me all day. After the festival she said she was really dissapointed in me. I tried to explain, she didn't believe me. We never saw each other afterwards.
Both of us couldn't sleep for hours. At some point I got annoyed because I was really sleepy but still couldn't sleep. So, I said annoyed: "It's not going to happen, is it?" Referring to falling asleep ofcourse.
Ofcourse she took it differently. The next day she wouldn't talk to me all day. After the festival she said she was really dissapointed in me. I tried to explain, she didn't believe me. We never saw each other afterwards.
PhantomThief
Banned
When I was a little boy and knew no german, I asked a german guy for a fire. But I didnt know how to say the word so I asked for a vuur ( sounds like fuhrer lol ).