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I'd like to know what your opinion is on men footing the bill on a date

R

Ryaaan14

Banned
I'm watching First Dates and it's a great show and it's just funny seeing how it's implied that men pay on the first date. We're entering into a new era where women are breaking down boundaries that we never really thought about and I'm curious what y'all think about this.

Full disclosure I'm probably not as progressive as most of u on here so I feel like men footing the bill is expected.

Edit: Please don't spoil the show I'm only on ep2
 
P

Protome

Member
Offering to pay is polite, whether you are male or female. Not making a big deal about it if your date refuses and says they'll pay their half is also important.
 
F

fauxtrot

Banned
It's often expected and really not the end of the world... women put themselves at risk of physical violence every time they go on a date with some weirdo dude they don't know yet, so IMO the least we can do is buy their coffee on date #1 then talk to them about splitting the bill on future dates if it's a big enough issue.
 
S

Succinct Verbosity

Member
I like to, but these days most girls I've dated have at least offered to pay half of it. The ones who have offered to split the bill have lasted longer, anictotally (the relationship I mean).
 
E

EatinOlives

Member
I foot the bill, always. I don't care, the cost is not that high (anyone who goes to a place on a first date where footing the bill would seriously put a dent in your budget is doing it wrong), it's just part of general etiquette to not make it a big deal.

If she offers to split then sure, I'm not gonna shoot her down.
 
K

Kaizer

Banned
I think it's fine either way, whether the man pays, woman pays or the bill is split. Also, IN before this thread is like 5 pages long lol
 
davepoobond

davepoobond

you can't put a price on sparks
depends on the situation.

if i invite, i try to pay. once i was not allowed (she refused to let me do it) and we split, didn't want to fight/argue about it. once i had like one thing, and the girl had like... 5 plates. so i just split it halfway, still paid for way more than i ate.
 
B

Blizzard

Banned
Protome said:
Offering to pay is polite, whether you are male or female. Not making a big deal about it if your date refuses and says they'll pay their half is also important.
Click to expand...
I think this is a reasonable position. Some people may appreciate it, and others may reject it, but offering and respecting the other person is key.
 
H

hitme

Member
Depends on:

1. How the night is going
2. Would the date be okay in you paying

I generally go half-half to be safe.
 
D

DeaconKnowledge

Member
Many women i've spoken to say them paying is a deal breaker for a first date.

I know we live in a different society that (should) embrace equality, but often in cases like this tradition can be a hard cycle to break.
 
R

Ryaaan14

Banned
Protome said:
Offering to pay is polite, whether you are male or female. Not making a big deal about it if your date refuses and says they'll pay their half is also important.
Click to expand...

Offering is expected but let's be real for a mo. A woman will offer because she is polite, but when the guy says "oh sure we can split", he will come across as a cheapskate.
 
A

Aiii

So not worth it
Ideally you share the bill, and I certainly appreciate whenever a woman suggested sharing and always do so when she wants to pay, but it's a date and you're trying to entice the other party, so it's fine either way. I don't mind paying and generally turn down the offer to share if it happens, anyways. And I wouldn't get offended if a woman invites me on a date and insists on footing the bill, either.

I don't think it matters as far as emancipation goes, dating is different to fighting for equal rights in life in general, it's a game of seducing the other party into more dates, so I don't think either men or women are particularly offended if one party is paying or not.
 
T

theaface

Member
I always offer and would gladly pay on the first date. At the same time, I'd be annoyed if it was automatically assumed like some of the people on First Dates do.
 
T

TanookiTom

Member
I find this outdated and even harmful because it reemphasizes outdated gender roles. In my opinion the person who invited the other person out paying is a much better system.

fauxtrot said:
It's often expected and really not the end of the world... women put themselves at risk of physical violence every time they go on a date with some weirdo dude they don't know yet, so IMO the least we can do is buy their coffee on date #1 then talk to them about splitting the bill on future dates if it's a big enough issue.
Click to expand...

I really cannot agree with this notion at all and I hope they are not putting themselves at any risk dating you, so you should feel no obligation to invite them
 
X

Xe4

Banned
An outdated custom, but one I adhere to. I'm cool with it, the world has bigger problems, but I'd love to see it go away eventually.
I've dated girls who swear up and down they want to split the bill, only later for them to tell me they had wished I had payed, LMAO.
Like damn, don't offer to split or pay unless you're sincere. It's cool, I'm 150% A-Ok with footing the bill, no need to make things complicated.
 
D

Dusk Golem

A 21st Century Rockefeller
My personal opinion is whoever invites the other should foot the bill, but that's just me.

It'd be weird to invite someone for dinner and then expect them to pay.

In practice I have been with girls who go in different ways. I've had girls who expect me to pay, split bills... To mention a dinner is rarely our first date so we usually know each other better when it comes time. There was one girl who I dated who was the opposite and didn't want me to pay for anything, she really tried to pamper me for some reason but I insisted in some cases to pay but she'd be upset with me afterward.

But I come from the stance if not splitting the bill in agreement beforehand, the one who invites the other should be the one who fits the bill.
 
S

Shanks D Zoro

Banned
I never go to just the one place on a date. I usually split or let the woman pay for the first round place and then I will pay for the usually more expensive second round.
 
S

Salamando

Member
First date, I fully expect to pay, though I do feel the girl should at least offer. I'll turn her down, but the dance reflects nicely on her.

Longer term, it's going to be more even. We're supposed to be best friends, let's handle meals like best friends would.
 
C

Condom

Member
Same income, same commitments.

If she's poor then that would be reason for me to foot the bill but only if she thinks that's ok.
 
F

Forearm Star

Member
I go in expecting to pay.
If I'm asking you out on a date I don't expect you to pay. If you offer, that's fine and all but I'm going to refuse. She can split the tab one the 3 or 4th date.
 
R

Ryaaan14

Banned
I've noticed several ppl saying "whoever invited pays". That gets complicated because that also leans more on men to invite a woman. It's pretty rare to find a woman to ask a man on a date, a unicorn if you may.
 
X

Xe4

Banned
Dusk Golem said:
My personal opinion is whoever invites the other should foot the bill, but that's just me.

It'd be weird to invite someone for dinner and then expect them to pay.

In practice I have been with girls who go in different ways. I've had girls who expect me to pay, split bills... To mention a dinner is rarely our first date so we usually know each other better when it comes time. There was one girl who I dated who was the opposite and didn't want me to pay for anything, she really tried to pamper me for some reason but I insisted in some cases to pay but she'd be upset with me afterward.

But I come from the stance if not splitting the bill in agreement beforehand, the one who invites the other should be the one who fits the bill.
Click to expand...

How it should be, IMO. Makes the most sense.
 
F

fauxtrot

Banned
TanookiTom said:
I really cannot agree with this notion at all and I hope they are not putting themselves at any risk dating you, so you should feel no obligation to invite them
Click to expand...

You disagree, cool. I'd suggest you talk to some of the women you know that are 35 or younger about their worst dating experiences... I think you'd be appalled by the creepy shit most women have gone through at least a few times in their lives, especially those that use OKC, Tinder, etc.
 
D

Dusk Golem

A 21st Century Rockefeller
Ryaaan14 said:
I've noticed several ppl saying "whoever invited pays". That gets complicated because that also leans more on men to invite a woman. It's pretty rare to find a woman to ask a man on a date, a unicorn if you may.
Click to expand...

I'd say it depends who... Okay so personal experience, I've actually been invited to dinner or dates by girls a few times and done the inviting a few times. I can't speak for everyone but in my experience at least it doesn't seem in this day and age men inviting girls is an exclusive thing. Maybe I'm just lucky, I don't know.
 
S

shintoki

sparkle this bitch
Protome said:
Maybe in the 80s, sure.
Click to expand...

You'll be surprise how many expect a free meal to say. It's not a custom if you can save money. Both from experience and friends.

Myself, since I've only been on dates I've asked the person, I take the check the first time. Just seems easier.
 
J

jelly

Member
First date, guy pays unless the date was awful then a split would be a nice end to the evening if both see it that way but even then, maybe chuck some money in for the drinks. Go half or switch on subsequent dates. It really depends what your life is like, both equal jobs etc. but that's more or less how it goes.
 
A

AllGamer

Member
Went on a lot of dates lately and never was I expected to foot the bill. I bought the first round, and she bought the second, and so on. Maybe it's a cultural thing? If the woman expects me to pay I am out.
 
J

JoJoShabadoo

Member
fauxtrot said:
You disagree, cool. I'd suggest you talk to some of the women you know that are 35 or younger about their worst dating experiences... I think you'd be appalled by the creepy shit most women have gone through at least a few times in their lives, especially those that use OKC, Tinder, etc.
Click to expand...

That's beside the point. Paying for coffee isn't "the least we can do" lol.
 
R

Ryaaan14

Banned
jelly said:
First date, guy pays unless the date was awful then a split would be a nice end to the evening if both see it that way but even then, maybe chuck some money in for the drinks. Go half or switch on subsequent dates. It really depends what you life is like, both equal jobs etc. but that's more or less how it goes.
Click to expand...

Yea u p much summed up how things are. But is this morally ok
 
Laieon

Laieon

Member
I think it depends on how far along the relationship is. I'm a bit old school in the sense that as a guy, I like to pay on the first date or two. One you actually start dating though, I think it should be as close to 50/50 as possible. Sometime the guy pays, sometime the girl pays, sometimes you split the bill, etc...

I also think the amount each needs to contribute if you're farther along in the relationship changes depending on how much money each makes. If person A makes $10,000 a month but person B only makes $500 and person A puts $500 towards dates while person B puts $25, I think that's fair. Their wallets are each hurting just as much.
 
LQX

LQX

Member
If you invite a woman out to dinner you should pay for it. You should not even be asking women out if you can't or won't pay for her meal.
 
A

Atruvius

Member
Sometimes on dates I would slyly put the girl first on the cafe line so I wouldn't have to pay. Though I would pay on the second date if there was one and it was at a cafe.

I don't think man has to be the one to pay for the date.
 
B

brawly

Member
The dating world would be way better if the girl paid her part. That would mean she's definitely interested in you, rather than a free meal.
 
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