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[Man Called Aerodynamics]

As a man I would always offer to pay the bill. It's the polite thing to do. If a girl feels it's more fair to split the bill and would rather do that, that's fine. But the guy should at least offer first.

 

[Nabbis]

Ask any woman you're going on a date with, their past experiences. Bound to be guys who seem polite and fine on the app or wherever they met to get to the date, and then face-to-face it's a different picture. I've heard stories from my dates about all of these horror stories, without fail.

I also like talk about horrible dating experience with the women im currently dating. ¯\_(&#12484_/¯

 

[Servbot24]

The expectation should be a split bill. If someone volunteers to pick up the whole bill that's nice, but not required.

 

[Kickz]

Ask the waiter to place the check in front of her. Be a gentleman and offer to pay half. Presumably eat a Mentos and give the waiter a thumbs up.

(Usually I'm OK with paying.)

LMAO this is genius, everyone do this and lets see the results

 

[Mareg]

This is usually a deal breaker for me on first date.

If, for any reason, my date makes it feel like she is entitled to not pay her part, I'm not going for second date. This is really important to me in this day an age. I won't date somebody that feels it is their right to never pay their share. Big red flag for me.

 

[LordGorchnik]

You see all those hundreds of women shout "MAN" and then she says if you're a gentleman you're supposed to pay.

Yeah, we're not quite at gender equality on dating terms yet

"If they never offered to pay, I wouldn't be dating them. This is the most polite they're ever going to be [first date], and they're not even trying to pay now."

"If you're not trying to contribute, he feels used. Any guy who's really confident and self-respecting, if the woman is never even trying to contribute, he feels he's taken advantage of. And it's nothing to do with money. It's to do with the lack of gesture."

This one right here nails it.

1st date
I pick up the bill.
Woman: Oh let me cover it (her half or the full thing)
Me: I certainly appreciate the GESTURE (this is what it's about, not the money) but I will take this one

Now you've communicated as a man you appreciate the gesture of a woman offering to split (or even fully cover) the bill. This sets up super easy payment situations in future dates whether you go to a restaurant, movie, museum, etc.

 

[Vanillalite]

I expect to pay​. If she wants to pay or split the bill I might say I got this. If she insists then no big deal. We can split or I can say I got next.

Just be flexible, and set expectations accordingly before you go.

I wouldn't insist on paying if she suggests splitting. Then you're falling into the bs sexism of I have to pay because reasons when she just asked to pay half.

It's not insisting. I just might be polite and say I got it. Like I said if she still insists no worries we split. I'm flexible.

Not that it really matters. I'm a family man out the game anyways.

 

[pablito]

If I invite, I'm willing to pay the whole bill. But you're more likely to be pursued further if you offer to pay. And if I'm ever invited, I'm always prepared to pay for myself.

 

[Raptomex]

As a man, myself, I'm all for women paying or splitting the bill. Sadly, I always insist I get the bill. Damn.

 

[Sunster]

My wife paid for our first date. Also I had to run from the table to vomit in the bathroom. It was wild.

 

[Hoo-doo]

I usually pay for the date. I'm not fussed about it at all.

I do appreciate signals that it's not an 'expectation' for me to pay for it though. And my girl occasionally picks up the bill too.
Honestly, I just despise the finagling over splitting a bill. Let me just pay so we can go spend our night.

 

[Chmpocalypse]

As a man I would always offer to pay the bill. It's the polite thing to do. If a girl feels it's more fair to split the bill and would rather do that, that's fine. But the guy should at least offer first.

Why is that the "polite" thing to do?

I get it if you invited the other person. But in all cases? Nah.

 

[psyfi]

GAF's opinion doesn't matter. Ask your date how they want to handle the bill, not us.

I've heard countless stories from my women friends about men paying the bill even when my friends insisted that they don't. They said it felt dismissive, patronizing, manipulative -- and I definitely agree. It's old fashioned chivalry / chauvinism, especially when it's done without consent.

So talk to your date.

 

[Ashodin]

Every single date I've been on, the woman paid.

 

[Agent_ShortBus]

The first couple of dates I like to pay for everything. Call me old fashioned but I just don't feel right if she pays for whatever we do. I will of course go halfsies if she insisted.

 

[JB1981]

Just pay the bill. You'll get laid more

 

[Shanlei91]

I've only ever suggested to split a check on a date once - it was brunch and it was one of the worst dates I had ever been on.

Six months later she texted me out of the blue a rant about how men should always pay.

I'll gladly pay for a date I really enjoy and want to see again, but expecting a man to pay is an enormous turn off.

 

[Messofanego]

I've only ever suggested to split a check on a date once - it was brunch and it was one of the worst dates I had ever been on.

Six months later she texted me out of the blue a rant about how men should always pay.

I'll gladly pay for a date I really enjoy and want to see again, but expecting a man to pay is an enormous turn off.

lmao glad you got out of that quick

 

[H.Protagonist]

I go on many dates, and I always initiate. Women in my experience do not ask for a date - even if they are sending the initial message on Tinder, for example.

I think it's unfair to put the burden of paying on the person who asks, as it is almost always the man.

What kind of non-drink/dinner settings would you suggest? In my experience they don't go over as well as more traditional first dates. (Parks, etc.) Even the museum costs money nowadays. Hardly anything that is appropriate for a date is going to be free.

I asked a few guys out back in the day, but (as I said) I recognize that guys by far do the most asking. As for non-drink/dinner settings, (been asked out/asked out ):

Local festival/fair
Shakespeare in the park
BBQ
Beach concert (free)
Paint and Drink (was free on a Groupon when I went, but there are plenty of other random 'free' things you can finagle somehow)
Hiking
Picnic
Scavenger Hunt (was a local event)
Biking
Poetry reading (I did not personally enjoy this, but it was 100% free and some people are into that)
Museum (our entry was free, and most museums have special free days or events, so...)


On the non-dinner low cost/low pressure side of things:

Pub Quiz Night
Rock Climbing
Drink and Draw (my date idea)
Wine tasting (if your non-drink query just meant 'not at a bar' kind of place)
Laser tag (yeah, I know, I'm lame. I just really like laser tag...)
Arcade (I prefer barcades)
The range (ammo did go up quite a bit, though, so kinda middle-range?)


I mean, unless you're pretty far out in the boondocks, it seems like there's always something on, or at the least something silly you can do. And even if museums cost money, that's far cheaper than a dinner and a lot less pressure, right? Dinner or a bar doesn't have to be the default unless that's what you're most comfortable with. I certainly had far more fun on the random adventures that some guys suggested.